The Price of Redemption
by Midii Une
Summary: [COMPLETE]--Novel-sized romance! Trowa and Midii face danger as they try to form a relationship based on trust. Sequel to AloneTogether, also with 4xDC, 5xCB, 1xRP, 2xHS and 6x9
1. Chapter 1

The Price of Redemption  
( . . . after Alone/Together)  
  
by Midii Une  
  
Chapter One  
  
"Every morning there's a heartache hanging from the corner  
of my girlfriend's four-post bed  
I know it's not mine and I know she thinks she loves me  
but I never can believe what she said  
Something so deceiving  
when you stop believing  
turn me around again  
Said we couldn't do it  
Ya know I wanna do it again"  
--Sugar Ray  
  
**********  
  
Trowa was happy, happier than he had ever been in his life. But with that happiness came something else. Anxiety. He'd felt that often enough before. But the anxiety that was the flip side of life with Midii was more intense than any he'd suffered before. It shouldn't be that way. But he still couldn't trust her. Couldn't stop thinking that one day she would simply disappear from his life without any warning.  
  
Trowa looked at the sleeping girl in his arms as he did every morning. Every morning he awoke before she did just to study her and reassure himself that she was there. They weren't exactly living together yet, but somehow it seemed that every night they ended up together in the same bed, hers or his, it didn't matter. And every night he'd see love in her eyes. Just like the first time. And just like that first time he prayed that it wasn't a lie, that it must be the truth. Could anyone fake a look like that?  
  
He wanted to see it again, he could never see it enough. He began to kiss her until he felt her begin to wake up. She groaned softly. "Trowa. No, it's too early. Not even light yet," she protested.  
  
Midii's eyes fluttered open sleepily and she saw his face close above hers. He watched intently as they softened perceptibly and a tender smile touched her lips. Her small slender hand reached up to caress his cheek and he caught it in his hand and kissed the palm of it. It was always there. The look in her eyes. Why did he worry he thought as she drew him down on top of her and returned his kisses. She must love him, she did love him. And he loved her more than he'd ever imagined he could be capable.  
  
She felt safe and cherished under the familiar weight of his body. In the soft gray light of his room, wrapped in his arms. She never wanted to leave this place and tears sparkled on the edges of her lashes as they always did at times like this. Bliss was the only word she knew to describe this feeling. An explosion of happiness like a white-gold flare in the dark night sky of her life. He didn't trust her, maybe he never would. Maybe he never should. There was so much in her past that threatened her, haunted her.  
  
But if Midii had her way she would never leave this room, never leave this bed, never leave his arms. She tightened her arms around him and luxuriated in the familiar feel of his skin on hers and the brush of his hair against her cheek.  
  
*****  
He watched her as she applied her makeup in the tiny bathroom of his apartment. He liked her better without it, the cosmetics made it seem she was hiding something, like he tried to hide himself from the world behind his wealth of bangs. The way she could change her appearance so much with the mere stroke of a makeup brush was astounding and a little frightening. Not that she could ever change enough to hide from him anymore. It just reminded him too much of what she had been.   
  
"I've changed my mind," Trowa announced suddenly. "I talked with Cathrine. I have time off coming. I'll go with you to see Sally tomorrow. I won't go on this tour."  
  
Midii looked at him a bit sadly. Even after this morning he still so obviously didn't trust her. She didn't blame him, not a bit. But would he ever understand that it was impossible for him to watch her every moment? He had a career that was important to him. He had a relationship with his sister that shouldn't be neglected. And she herself needed to get on with her life. She had some leads on a few job possibilities and the mandatory monthly meeting with Sally Po, her official probation officer, her unofficial psychologist and her unofficial big sister. She met with Sally as part of an agreement that kept her out of prison for her past crimes. She told all, cried sometimes and Sally was a good listener. Midii admitted that she looked forward to these visits, needed them to stay focussed on her new life as a law-abiding citizen of a peaceful world.  
  
"Don't you dare Trowa Barton," she said. "You need to go on this tour. Cathrine told me some of these stops are new venues for the circus and it's not fair to the rest if the best performer doesn't show up. Besides, I'm sure lots of girls buy tickets just to get a look at you."  
  
"Don't tease me Midii," Trowa said, looking down as he did habitually, his long brown bangs sheltering his face. "I don't want to be away from you that long. We've only been together four months and now two months away?"  
  
"Listen to me," she said, placing her hands on his face and tiptoeing to look in his eyes. "You go ahead. I'll make my meeting with Sally. Then I have to follow up on those job leads. You know that Quatre even promised to give me references and that should go a long way toward establishing my credibility. If nothing pans out with that I'll meet you along the way. I have the schedule of all your stops, Cathrine made sure. And even if I get a new job and can't come, there are still weekends. We will not be apart for two months. I couldn't do that, I couldn't bear it. But Trowa, we can't stay like this forever. Life has to go on."  
  
"When did you get so practical," Trowa asked, pulling her closer against him and resting his cheek against the familiar warm softness of her hair. She was right, he didn't want her to be, but she was. He had to let go sometime, had to resume his normal life and pick up his everyday responsibilities. Had to believe she'd be there when he got back.  
  
"I'll pick you up at 7," Trowa reminded her as she shrugged into her jacket. "It's dinner with Quatre and . . . her. He said they have something important to tell us. Hopefully it's that he's come to his senses about all this."  
  
"Trowa," Midii scolded, looking at him mischievously. "Be nice."  
  
He was silent a moment. "I can't help it," he finally said. "She almost killed Quatre. Midii, she left you there for dead on Corsica. How do you and Quatre expect me to just forget those things?"  
  
She turned away and pretended to look out the window, blinking her eyes furiously to keep from crying. She was so much worse than Dorothy Catalonia had ever been. Would he wake up one day and realize that he was making an awful mistake in being with her? Would he close his heart against her and hate her as he did Dorothy? Would his eyes ever flick over her like she'd just crawled out from under a rock? If only there was some way to wipe her past away.  
  
Trowa noticed the little shudder go through her and was immediately sorry for what he had said. They were on such unsteady ground, still afraid of each other in so many ways. Careless little comments had the power to do so much damage between them. He went to her and embraced her reassuringly.  
  
"Midii," he said, pulling her close and tangling his hands in her hair. Tomorrow, he thought, tomorrow he'd be leaving her behind. "I'm sorry. I'll be nice tonight, I promise."  
  
She gave him a weak smile. Midii had a feeling Quatre's news had nothing to do with giving up Dorothy, it was probably going to be the complete opposite.  
  
*****  
Cathrine opened the door of the salon where Midii had easily reacquired her former position and the little bell at the top of the door rang gently.  
  
Midii glanced over to see who had come in, Trowa had a habit of showing up early to pick her up. Was he just missing her or did he feel he had to constantly check up on her? She sighed a little, then smiled at her friend.  
  
"Cathy," she exclaimed, turning around to show off her dress. "Do you like it? More importantly do you think Trowa will like it?"  
  
"I'm almost jealous," Cathrine grinned, looking at her friend appraisingly. "Very elegant."  
  
"Well," Midii affected a glamorous tone of voice. "One must look one's best when dining out with Miss Catalonia."  
  
She and Cathrine both broke into unrestrained giggles at Midii's over-the-top impersonation of Dorothy's somewhat high-brow personality  
  
*******  
  
  
The diamond ring Dorothy flaunted had to be at least four carats, between that and Quatre's pleased and proud smile Midii could tell that her guess had been the correct one. She squeezed Trowa's hand warningly and he squeezed back.   
  
"So," Midii said, smiling and leaning over to kiss Quatre's cheek. "I see that congratulations are in order. How wonderful. We're both so happy for you."  
  
"No secret is safe around you Midii," Quatre joked hugging her and shaking Trowa's hand. "You could always read me like a book, right from the start."  
  
"That was her profession, Quatre," Dorothy said tartly, but she couldn't hide the happy gleam in her eyes despite her sharp words..  
  
Midii tried to ignore the little comment but her cheeks flushed a little, and instead admired the ring. "Oh Dorothy, it's so beautiful. Can I see?"  
  
Dorothy couldn't resist holding out her hand for Midii's admiration and inspection. Trowa watched her face, it held an appropriately awed and wondering expression as she studied the ring. What was she thinking? Was it the ring she admired or did she want to be getting married too? She never mentioned it. Did she want to marry him, was she ready for a lifetime commitment? He didn't know if he was, but then again he was positive he never wanted to be apart from her. It was so confusing. How had Quatre known he was ready? But then again he wasn't sure he trusted Quatre's decision to commit himself to Dorothy Catalonia. How could he forget what she was? Could he love her like he loved Midii?   
  
"So when is the big day," Midii asked.  
  
"In six months," Dorothy said. "There's so much to do, you can't imagine!"  
  
"Trowa," Quatre said, catching his best friend's emerald eyes with his hopeful blue ones. "I hope you'll be my best man. There's no one else I'd even consider asking."  
  
Trowa paused and Midii poked him under the table. "Of course," he said, automatically, wrapping his fingers around hers. "I'd be honored."  
  
Dorothy breathed a silent sigh of relief. She'd been almost afraid he'd say no and that would have broken Quatre's heart. It was one of the things that used to give her nightmares, the rejection and disdain of his friends eventually driving him away from her. Perhaps she should be grateful to that girl, her own crimes compared to Midii's and Trowa Barton seemed to be having no trouble at all accepting her in his life. It probably wouldn't be long till they were announcing their own engagement. He could hardly say anything to Quatre about her while he was involved with Midii Une.  
  
*****  
Trowa turned to give Midii his hand and help her down the steps of the restaurant. She smiled down at him.  
  
"Look at you up there," he joked, seeing her at eye level for once. He pulled her into a kiss. He liked the way she fit against him at this angle, he usually had to lean down so far to meet her lips. Kissing on stairs was a very good idea . . .   
  
"You made Quatre so happy tonight," she said, as his arms pulled her closer and they kissed again.   
  
"Let's get home," he whispered, looking into her eyes, his hand cupping her cheek.   
  
"Midii," a slurred voice called and she tensed. Trowa's eyes narrowed. "Midii! Babe, is that you," the man said again, his hand running over his wavy black hair and his eyes, almost as green as Trowa's studying her intently.  
  
"Merde," she whispered, her annoyance expressing itself in her softly-spoken French obscenity. "Adrian . . ."  
  
"Hey," he grinned. "You remembered." Adrian whistled softly, his eyes raking over her familiarly. She had been his once upon a time and it looked like she had moved up in the world since their short time together.  
  
"Looks like you're busy tonight, but call me sometime we'll have a drink. Maybe get reacquainted. I've missed you," Adrian said.  
  
"Just sit by your phone and wait," Midii said icily, her normally soft eyes turning as hard as steel. Stefan had told her who'd sold her out to him. Adrian had dumped her, betrayed her and now he was making her look bad in front of the man she loved. "The waiting will keep you out of trouble."  
  
"Christ Midii," Adrian said. "You can be such a cold little bitch sometimes. You better watch it buddy," he said to Trowa. "As soon as something better comes along she'll dump you too. No doubt about it."  
  
Something hard and frightening in Trowa's eyes stopped any further comments from Adrian and he walked away.  
  
"Oh Trowa, I'm sorry," Midii apologized, pressing against him and resting her head on his shoulder.  
  
"It's alright, don't worry about it. Let's just go back to your place," he said, his hand running over her hair meditatively. But somehow he couldn't stop that guy's words from repeating in his head. "As soon as something better comes along she'll dump you too. No doubt about it."  
  
*******  
  
Dorothy scowled at her smiling fiancé as they sat side by side on a private space shuttle back to the L4 cluster. They thought nothing of traveling from one colony to another for something as simple as dinner with friends, they had both had more money than they knew what to do with.  
  
"It isn't cute Quatre," Dorothy said, although a reluctant smile started playing on her lips at the sight of his shining blue eyes. "The I-told-you-so look just isn't you my darling."  
  
"But Dorothy," Quatre protested, his hand sliding down her bare arm to find her fingers and twist the ring on her finger gently. "I did tell you that everything would be fine. Trowa's happy for us. I knew that he would be."  
  
Dorothy was glad that Quatre hadn't seemed to notice the hesitation in his friend's manner when he asked him the big question.   
  
"Okay, you were right. Everyone is very happy. We're all one big happy family," Dorothy said, hiding the sarcasm in her words neatly enough to fool her beloved.  
  
She undid the buckle on her seatbelt and crawled up in Quatre's lap, one slender hand reached up to turn off the cabin lights. It was dark inside the shuttle, the stars outside sparkled like her diamond ring had on a field of black velvet on the night he gave it to her. She did love him, Dorothy thought to herself, and she would make him happy. When Dorothy Catalonia set her mind on something, that thing was a sure bet, she told herself. The darkness hid an uncharacteristic gentle smile as her lips caressed his neck and moved to his lips as her fingers deftly undid the buttons of Quatre's shirt.  
  
*****  
  
"Take care of Trowa, please Cathy," Midii whispered in her friend's ear, holding her close. It was almost like having a sister. Both of them thought so. In a louder voice she said, "Be very careful with that new knife routine. I think it's too dangerous."  
  
Trowa put his arms around both of his girls.   
  
"Midii," he said. "How would you know? You never watch when Cathy throws knives at me."  
  
"I have a very good imagination," she said, shuddering. "And even if I'm not watching I hear those awful thunks."  
  
He pulled Midii off to the side so they could say good-bye in private.  
  
"Oh Trowa, I'll miss you so much," she said, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his shirt.  
  
"Me too," he said, tightening his arms around her till her body molded to his and he felt her against him.  
  
******  
  
Sally Po, chief of the Preventers Organization, angrily snapped a pencil in two. Wouldn't they ever give up? She lumped them all together in her mind, a nasty horde of people who just wouldn't let go of the urge to make conflict. First there had been that recent incident where an underground faction of the Alliance had surfaced. And now this. Just the first signs of trouble ahead. But it could be big. And her job was to prevent, to prevent the resurgence of trouble, to put out the fires that could do irreparable damage to their precious peace . . .  
  
Her intercom buzzed.  
  
"Yes," she said irritably, praying swiftly that it wasn't more bad news.  
  
"Miss Une is here for her appointment," the secretary announced.  
  
"Please ask her to wait a moment," Sally said instantly.  
  
She had forgotten all about the appointment. Midii Une. She was someone that could find out the details she needed. She was absolutely perfect. But how could she ask her? These past months she'd been rehabilitating her, she'd even grown to like her quite a bit. The poor girl hadn't had an easy life. But she'd been so very good at what she did. She shouldn't do this, but what choice did she have. Many lives could be saved by nipping this in the bud. Sally told herself that she had to put her personal feelings aside, as she had done so many times before. Put them aside for the sake of peace.  
  
When Midii entered the office Sally almost faltered in her good-intentioned resolve. The girl looked so happy and confident. It had taken a lot for them to trust each other, but Sally believed they had accomplished it together in the months they had been meeting.  
  
In a way this could help her, Sally told herself. It's possible this could complete the process, let her forgive herself and start again.  
  
It was also possible that this would turn her back to a life of espionage.  
  
It was also possible that she could lose everything, possible that she could be killed. These were desperate people who wouldn't hesitate to kill a traitor, a treacherous double agent.  
  
"Midii! It's so good to see you," she said, squeezing one of her hands in hers in a gesture of friendship even as her mind considered the possibilities. "I'm very proud of you, you've been perfectly consistent in checking in by phone and showing up here at headquarters once a month."  
  
"Oh Sally, I just want to prove to you and to Trowa that I'm trying to change. Really trying," Midii said. "It's just that sometimes I'm so afraid I'll fall back in. It's like the feeling you get when you look over the edge of a cliff. Do you ever wonder what it might be like to jump?"  
  
She'd given her the perfect opening, Sally thought. She took a breath and plunged ahead, right off Midii's proverbial cliff.  
  
"Midii? What would you be willing to do to attain total redemption? Imagine wiping away all those feelings about what happened in the past. If you could do something to make up for all that, what would you do? How far would you be willing to go?" Sally queried.  
  
Midii looked at Sally in surprise. What an odd thing for her to say. Always before she had reassured her that the past didn't matter anymore, that she should forget about it and concentrate on a new life. Why was she saying such a thing now? A finger of cold fear touched her heart. Something bad was coming. She wanted to run back to Trowa's arms and bolt the door behind her. But instead she sat down listlessly in the chair across from Sally's and bowed her head.  
  
"I'm listening," she whispered.  
  
*******  
  
She looked at herself in the mirror and lifted the scissors. Midii heard his voice and felt his cheek brush against hers as he nuzzled his face in her hair after they made love.  
  
"I love your hair Midii. I love you," he whispered. She knew that he did, at night they loved to cuddle up on the couch in the dark and when she sat on his lap he stroked her hair as if she were a little kitten.  
  
Her eyes flew open and she swallowed hard, looking at herself in the mirror. This was not something to do with your eyes closed, she thought grimly. Midii gritted her teeth and closed the blades of the scissors over the handful of hair just above her shoulder, tears streaming down her face with every snip that followed.  
  
******  
  
Where the hell was the woman? Sally had assured him that she would be waiting at the spaceport and that he should follow, unobtrusively of course. He looked over all the women in the concourse but none of them were Midii Une. She had backed out of the deal. Why was he not surprised?  
  
To add to his annoyance a girl with reddish-blonde, softly curling hair and vivid blue eyes kept glancing at him and smiling to herself as if she were highly amused. He looked twice and felt like rubbing his eyes as the girl's smile widened and she raised her hand to her mouth to stifle a burst of laughter.  
  
Wufei scowled. This type of deception was not his idea of how to fight. If Sally thought something might be wrong in Brussels they should go there and confront it head on. They shouldn't be depending on this treacherous woman..   
  
She got up from her seat and approached him. She held out her hand.  
  
"I'm Marguerite Doce," she said. "You must be Chang Wufei. I was told we were to meet here."  
  
"Is this charade totally necessary," he grumbled.  
  
"Of course," she said. Her voice lowered to a barely audible whisper. "I hope Sally knew what she was doing entrusting you to this type of mission."  
  
Midii wasn't happy about this turn of events, not at all. If she couldn't work with Stefan she would rather be alone. She trusted no one else, except for Trowa and she would not have him involved in this for the world. But Sally had insisted she have some sort of protection. She glanced warily at her equally unhappy partner.  
  
"I'll keep up my end," he muttered back. "Don't you worry."  
  
Author's Note: Doce means 12 in Italian.  
  
Next time on The Price of Redemption . . . a conversation with Duo has   
Trowa on edge . . . Wufei is finding it difficult keeping up with   
Midii/Marguerite. 


	2. Chapter 2

The Price of Redemption  
by Midii Une  
  
Chapter 2  
  
  
"Meet me in the bar downstairs. I need a long hot bubble bath first so make it in one hour," Midii told Wufei, closing the door in his face.  
  
"I don't drink," he muttered to himself.  
  
She cracked the door open again. "I'm sure they'll be glad to serve you an ice water," she pointed out, slamming the door again.  
  
She leaned against the door and sighed. Midii thought how much she missed Stefan. She had never thought she'd feel his death so intensely and it wasn't only the guilt about the part she'd played in causing it. It was the feeling of security she'd had when working with him. Deep down inside she'd always known that he'd watch out for her no matter what and it had been true. Now, with a new mission about to commence, worries she'd never even considered kept buzzing around in her brain. Her main concern being Chang Wufei. Sally had been so wrong to send him as her back up. She physically cringed at the faux pas. The man obviously wasn't cut out for undercover work.  
  
She looked in the mirror, surprising herself momentarily when she saw her reflection, the curling strawberry blonde hair that fell to just above her shoulders and the unfamiliar bright blue eyes. She was slowly getting used to it and she had to admit she liked the way her hair curled more now that it was shorter. Tonight was very important, a very delicate situation. One she didn't want her grim shadow involved in. After a split-second of indecision Midii hastily changed clothes and slipped out the door.  
  
This she had to do alone.  
  
******  
  
Her eyes scanned the small but crowded bar. She blended in easily with the young and well-dressed Belgian clientele that had gathered there to relax after a hard day's work. Finally her gaze fell upon someone she recognized and adrenaline charged through her. No matter how hard she tried to change, this way of life still came as naturally to her as breathing. Midii admitted that part of her wanted to succeed even more than usual because of the last botched mission. She owed it to herself and Stefan and their previously sterling reputation. Thoughts of Trowa slid to the far back of her mind as Marguerite Doce took over.  
  
He was just a little older than she was and he was someone who had known Midii very well, nearly as well as Stefan and in some ways they had been closer. She took a seat a few chairs down from him at the bar. She swiveled in the chair until her back was to the bartender, her elbows propped against the bar and one leg crossed nonchalantly over the other. She sent a challenging stare at the handsome young Eurasian man, daring him to get up and talk to her. Finally his eyes met hers and she forced herself to keep from smiling triumphantly as he almost choked on his drink before regaining his aplomb and returning her stare, finally getting up and walking over to her.  
  
"What's the matter Ichiban," she asked. "You look as if you've seen a ghost and definitely as if you could use another drink." She signaled the bartender to bring him another.  
  
"Midii," he breathed, downing the liquor in a quick, practiced gulp. "The rumors of your death were greatly exaggerated I see. Is Niente with you?"  
  
"He is dead," she said shortly, the confident mask slipping a bit.  
  
"Mezzo put the word out that the two of you had turned traitor," the young dark-haired man said, his hand darting out to grasp her wrist.  
  
"He made a mistake," Midii said, making no attempt to pull from his grip and looking unconcerned by his accusations. She stood and leaned in close, raking her nails gently over his cheek. "And he is also dead."  
  
Ichiban smiled, turning his face to press a kiss on the palm that ran down the side of his face.   
  
"My heartless Midii, such tender sympathy for your fallen comrades," he said. "Perhaps that is why you are still alive? Still only looking out for number one?"  
  
"Yes, exactly" she said, a tiny shiver going through her at the familiar touch of his lips on her skin. "Number one."  
  
It had amused them long ago that both of their names could be translated to mean the number one.  
  
"It's good to see that some things don't change," he continued, his odd golden eyes  
raking over her figure suggestively. "Except for the better. How have you been and more importantly where have you been? As I said, everyone believes you were killed on Corsica."  
  
"Perhaps that's true in a way," Midii said. "I've been laying low, Preventers caught on to me. Unfortunately, I botched the mission. Midii Une is no more, I am Marguerite Doce now."   
  
She smiled ruefully and touched her hair. "You see the lengths they've driven me to? I have had to assume a whole new identity."  
  
His hand slid around the curve of her waist. "Not to worry," he reassured her. "You are still the loveliest woman in the room and unfortunately you know that only too well."  
  
She moved a bit away from his touch. "You told me you were no longer interested, Ichiban," purposely adding a bitter tone to her voice.   
  
"It's been nearly four years Midii, and I must admit that I suddenly find you intriguing again," he admitted, moving closer.  
  
"That is too bad," she said. "Because now I find that I am no longer interested in you. Enough with the flattery Ichiban, I know something is up and I want in. When Stefan came back into my life a few months ago I had nothing and in these months of hiding I've come very close to spending all that he had left just to survive. I do not like being desperate. Can you use me or not? Be assured I will find someone who can."  
  
"How do I know if I can trust you," he asked, his eyes narrowing. "You admit yourself you botched a mission. I am not a fool *Marguerite*. Do not play me for one."  
  
Midii shrugged and slipped off the barstool as if his rejection of her offer meant nothing to her whatsoever. Her eyes, tinted bright blue with contact lenses, flicked over him conveying a sense of missed opportunities--on his part.  
  
"Sayonara then," she whispered, nudging herself past him in the crowded bar.  
  
A tall, dark-haired woman across the room watched as the man got off the bar stool in a swift fluid motion and grabbed at the girl who was walking away from him. She could see the anger on other woman's face as he spun her to face him and kissed her possessively on the lips.  
  
Midii let the tension out of her body and returned the kiss, feeling his tongue slip past her lips and explore her mouth.   
  
"What will you do, my flower, my Marguerite, to make me trust you," Ichiban said, pulling away but holding her eyes with his. Part of him realized that he really should let her walk away but his own self-confidence and memories of the past overwhelmed his common sense. Besides he could use her help.  
  
Midii opted for a non-emotional response to his less than subtle gesture. She reached past him and picked up a cocktail napkin, deliberately wiping her mouth and then slowly, painstakingly reapplying her lipstick while looking in a compact mirror.  
  
"I won't sleep with you, if that's what you're thinking," she said coolly, turning her eyes on him and snapping the compact shut. "I never make the same mistake twice. If you are not interested in my services I'll take them elsewhere. I didn't come here to hold your hand and make you feel good about me. Either you trust me or you don't. Either you want me on your side or you want me to be your enemy. We had something in the past, therefore I'm giving you a choice. So choose."  
  
Just as she thought she had played the wrong card and he would turn her down he finally spoke.  
  
"Meet me here again tomorrow night and I'll fill you in on the details," he said. "It goes without saying that if you betray me I will kill you. Take care Marguerite, I don't play games like Mezzo I simply strike at your heart when you least expect it."  
  
She merely nodded and moved away. He watched her disappear quickly into the crowd in that way she had. There one minute and gone the next.  
  
******  
Cathrine looked at Trowa and sighed. He might as well have stayed back on the colony with Midii as much good as his company was doing her. It was like he was in a silent bubble in the middle of all the backstage noise and hubbub. She missed Midii too, she was so used to seeing her sitting on the edge of the makeup table, swinging her legs and smiling adoringly at Trowa. Even better had been seeing him actually smile back, that had been something she thought she'd never see when she had first met the emotionally-restrained, quiet young man.  
  
Cathrine stretched a slender arm over her head and touched her hand to the middle of her back, then she bent and touched her toes. She frowned, he was still staring into space.  
  
Trowa was lost in thought, wondering why she hadn't called and why he had gotten no answer at either of their apartments.   
  
He knew that it hurt her feelings when he did anything that reminded her that he didn't trust her. But usually she was very careful not to let those feelings surface inside him, for the past four months she'd always been so close, close enough to touch if he so much as reached out his hand. Now he was already certain that going away without her had been a mistake. He felt as if he'd always been alone, never found her again. As if the past four months had been only a hazy dream of happiness that the two of them really hadn't been entitled to in the first place.   
  
Trowa jumped a bit when the vidphone buzzed softly. The screen remained a fuzzy grey with lines wavering in and out when he pressed the on button, but he heard her voice on the other end.  
  
"What's wrong with the video on your end," he asked her, she could sense the frustration and tension in his voice.  
  
"I don't have a clue, you know technical things like broken vidphones and I don't mix," she said sadly, wanting desperately to see him as well. But if he saw her new look he'd know she was up to something, luckily her tampering with the output and input wires on the phone had done the trick.  
  
"That's for sure," he said and Cathrine finally noticed a smile on Trowa's face. She smiled with relief herself, Midii wasn't really someone you could ever feel comfortable about. No matter how close she got to the younger girl she always felt there was so much more inside that she knew nothing about. That perhaps she was better off not knowing.  
  
Cathrine looked at the clock. Strange time for Midii to finally call, she should have known very well that she and Trowa would be going on in a few minutes and that the two of them would hardly have time to talk.  
  
"Where have you been," Trowa asked, cursing the stupid video connection. He ached to see her, to trace the lines of her face with his fingertips. He heard the music on the other side of the wall, in just a minute they'd be calling them out.  
  
"I got a job," Midii said, trying to inject excitement into her voice, praying to hear Cathrine's voice calling Trowa away before she had to go into detail. She had hoped to time her call just right.  
  
"That's good. I think," Trowa said. "Where are you?"  
  
"Earth," she said. "Can you believe it? Now don't get upset, it's just a temporary position but it could lead to something better and I really need the experience."  
  
"Midii," Trowa protested. "How long is temporary and exactly where are you?"  
  
"Trowa! It's time," Cathrine interrupted, and Midii closed her eyes in relief as they quickly exchanged good nights and I love yous and he had to terminate the connection.  
  
*******  
  
Ichiban looked up from his drink as a woman's hand crept possessively over his shoulder. His emerald-flecked golden eyes met a pair of angry black ones.  
  
"Who was that woman," she asked, her Hungarian accent made more obvious by her fury.  
  
"Eva! Control yourself," he said, wishing for the millionth time that Eva Ketto had the subtlety and finesse of Midii Une.   
  
"She is an old friend, someone you would do well to watch. One of the best agents I've ever had the pleasure of working with *and* having in my bed. Her name is Marguerite Doce, she'll be joining us on this little scheme," he said, deliberately goading his fiery lover with hints of his past exploits.  
  
"Damn you Ichiban," she hissed, then stared at him aghast as realization struck her. "Doce? Doce? My God, that arrogant little bitch. You told me that Midii Une was dead."  
  
"And so she is," Ichiban said, with a wink at Eva. "Although I'm sure we will find that our little blossom Marguerite is just as skilled as her predecessor."  
  
"What about Stefan? Is he also alive," she asked eagerly, her heart pounding with renewed hope. Eva had loved Stefan Niente with every scrap of her passionate nature, although to him she had been no more than a casual affair.  
  
Ichiban shook his head. "La Signorina Doce says not and I believe her. I could see the grief in her eyes although she tried to hide it."  
  
Eva looked at the door Midii had exited from, tears sparkling in her black eyes. Stefan had been correct in the things he said about her. "She is like a cat. Midii has nine lives and always finds a way to survive. I know she's out there and I'll find her. I need her for this mission, Eva. I need you for other things." Her heart ached remembering his skillful lovemaking, the wonderful things he had made her feel, only to leave her behind.  
  
*******  
Midii lay alone in the unfamiliar bed, absently pulling her fingers through her hair. She put her imagination to work, trying to feel Trowa beside her, his arms around her holding her tightly.  
  
Already there was suspicion in his voice and she was glad she had chosen a time to call when they couldn't really talk. She had never been with anyone who loved her before or anyone who knew her so well. Apparently it was going to be harder to keep this from Trowa than she had originally thought.  
  
She tried to remember Sally's words. She had promised her that doing this would wipe away the past. After this Midii would be just like everyone else Trowa knew and cared about. He would trust her, and he would be proud of her. And that would make everything she was doing worth the risk. She could put her skills to use to aid the cause of the Preventers. Surely, she told herself, that was what Trowa would want her to do. The life she had been leading, working in the salon and watching Trowa perform at night had been driving her crazy with boredom. She needed to be doing something with the skills she had honed to perfection over the years. As long as she was doing it for the right side there was no way he could be angry with her. They would both be happy after all this was over and she wouldn't have to be afraid of losing his love anymore.  
  
She could pull this off, she had to pull this off. And she had to keep Trowa from finding her at the same time. The challenge of a lifetime, she thought.  
  
She had to keep him away. "I will simply strike at your heart without warning." Ichiban's threat echoed in her mind as she finally drifted off to sleep. Trowa was her heart.  
  
*****  
  
Eva reached for a silk robe and went to look out the window, casting a glance back over her shoulder at her lover, asleep in bed. Ichiban was a poor substitute for Stefan. He was as cool and collected as the infamous Midii Une. A consummate actor, never losing control even when he made love to her. Whereas she and Stefan had both been so passionate and full of life. They had been perfect together. And yet even he had preferred Midii to her in matters of business.   
  
A tear streaked down her cheek as she looked out the window unseeing. She remembered everything about Stefan. The warm feel of his skin beneath her hands, the lustful glitter in his eyes when he looked at her. The way he had refused to use her on his last mission, preferring to find his old partner instead. Eva's eyes narrowed. And now he was dead. Dead because of Midii Une.  
  
"I will find a way to hurt you," she vowed, her eyes glittering both with tears and malice. "I will hurt you as you have hurt me."  
  
*******  
  
Midii tossed and turned, her heart pounding rapidly. In her dreams Trowa came into the bar and blew her cover while she was talking to Ichiban. The horrible look in his eyes, he hated her again, he thought he was betraying him and she couldn't convince him otherwise, he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. "I should never have trusted you," he said, as tears rolled down her cheeks.  
  
"Wake up," Wufei whispered vehemently, shaking Midii's shoulders. "I should never have trusted you."  
  
Her eyes fluttered and she looked at him, not recognizing him immediately.  
  
"Huh," she muttered, trying to calm down. It had only been a dream after all. "What's the matter?"  
  
"You left me behind," he said, flipping on the light.  
  
"Ugh," Midii said, putting a hand up to shield her eyes. "You could say that you couldn't keep up. I met up with someone tonight who can get me the information in a hurry. I don't want this to take any longer than necessary."  
  
"That makes two of us," Wufei answered. He had a bad feeling about this, he didn't like the way she operated. He averted his eyes as she groaned and slipped out from under the sheets dressed only in a pair of Trowa's boxers and a T-shirt. "What are you doing," he asked.  
  
"You woke me up," she said, yawning. "Now I'll never get back to sleep. We may as well talk or something."  
  
"I don't want to talk to you," he said. "We have nothing to say to each other."  
  
"Oh I'm sure we can find something to chat about," she said, eager not to be alone with her doubts. Besides there had been something she had been wondering about. Cathrine had taken her into her confidence but with this guy's attitude he needed something to kick start him into action.  
  
"What do you think about my friend Cathy," she asked him point blank.  
  
"Trowa's sister," he said, and Midii thought she heard his voice change a bit, but she couldn't be sure. "That's none of your business."  
  
He stalked out of the room slamming the door.  
  
"Well Cathy," Midii said, looking after the irritated Chinese pilot and thinking about her friend. "I think there may actually be hope. Although I have no idea what you see in that arrogant jerk."  
  
******  
  
Trowa rubbed his eyes. He could swear someone was pounding vigorously on his door. He sat up and the pounding came again, along with a familiar-sounding voice calling his name.  
  
What the hell was Duo doing here and at 6 in the morning no less? It had taken Trowa hours to get to sleep without Midii beside him and he felt like he had just closed his eyes.  
  
"Hey buddy," Duo crowed when the other pilot finally let him in, his bright and cheerful mood grating on Trowa's last nerve. "I just found out you were in town while I was picking up my morning coffee and donuts so I tracked you down. I'm here too, obviously, big salvage job on this colony."  
  
"Wonderful," Trowa muttered, although he had to admit the coffee smelled good.  
  
"Oh hey," Duo said looking around the room and realizing he may have made a social error. "I'm not interrupting anything am I?"  
  
He nudged Trowa in the ribs and winked suggestively as his friend's green eyes narrowed to a glare.  
  
"Midii isn't here, she got a temporary job on Earth while this tour is going on," Trowa said in a dejected voice.  
  
Duo looked concerned and placed a hand on Trowa's forehead beneath the bangs just to see if he was feeling quite alright.   
  
"Trowa! What were you thinking? You know that if there's trouble out there she's gonna find it," he said, shaking his head as Trowa shoved off his hand.  
  
To be continued . . . Heero suspects Sally is hiding something . . . Eva tries to befriend Midii.  
  



	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Just a few quick reminders, this is the sequel to Alone/Together but I suppose it can stand alone if you don't want to read the first one ^_~ Midii Une is a character from Trowa's Episode Zero Manga. I do not own Gundam Wing or its character or storylines, I only like them very, very, very much!!!  
  
The Price of Redemption  
by Midii Une  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Sally's head was throbbing, she closed her eyes and pushed her hands up beneath her golden braids to cover her ears from the cacophony of sound emitting from the video phone.   
  
It was even worse with her eyes closed, Wufei's indignant Chinese tirade clashing with Midii's venomous French complaints was nearly making her head explode.  
  
"Stop it right now," she finally said in a loud stern voice. "You two are acting like a couple of spoiled children. Now talk in normal voices and let's all use the same language if we can."  
  
Wufei and Midii subsided into sulks and pouts respectively, occasionally shooting death glares at each other while Sally wondered what the hell she'd gotten herself into.  
  
"Now," she said, trying to maintain a calm tone as she imagined one would with a pair of disobedient children. "What seems to be the trouble?"  
  
Midii opened her mouth to speak but Wufei shoved her unceremoniously away from the screen.  
  
"That crazy onna ran off last night and I had no idea where she went," Wufei said. "I think she's double-crossing us."  
  
Midii dug an elbow sharply into the Chinese pilot's ribs and Sally thought she could hear a pained "oof" coming from the usually stoic Preventer.  
  
"I am NOT double-crossing you," Midii insisted, appearing onscreen in Wufei's place and staring Sally in the eye. "He has no instincts for this. No idea what he's doing. If I'd taken him with me last night my contact would have easily seen through my plans. This isn't going to work. Can't you order him to come back to headquarters?"  
  
Wufei's face appeared on screen again and Sally groaned as the two of them started going at it again in their native languages so that suddenly she knew just how the Christian God had felt at the Tower of Babel.  
  
"Enough," she finally said again. The low, serious tone of her voice silencing Wufei and Midii.  
  
"Now Midii, part of your agreement was to train Wufei in undercover work, a skill that he lacks. From now on brief him on your movements and tell him what you need him to do," Sally said, continuing on quickly as Midii opened her mouth to protest.  
  
"Wufei, as for you, you accepted this mission. It's a matter of honor for you to keep her safe, to do that you have to listen to what she tells you. Trust me, a little stealth and caution will do you a lot of good," she added, feeling a smug smile appear on her lips at the sight of their outraged faces.  
  
"That's all. Now the two of you come to some type of agreement you can work with and check in tomorrow morning," Preventer Water signed off before they could start in again. She leaned back in her chair and took a well-earned sip of her scalding hot coffee.  
  
Despite the tension between her agents it appeared the matter in Brussels was well in hand. Just as Sally started to relax a bit a calm, but questioning, voice broke into her thoughts. She turned and blinked at the handsome, slender man leaning in her office doorway.  
  
"What was that all about and what are you keeping from the rest of us," Heero stated flatly, his voice hiding the tension building inside, the call to act.  
  
*******  
  
"Must you conduct all your business in bars," Wufei questioned as Midii glanced up at him, blowing lightly on freshly painted fingernails.   
  
"They're dark and crowded and loud, the perfect place to discuss disreputable business," Midii explained, striving to be patient. Her eyes flickered over Wufei and she wondered if dared to broach the next subject.  
  
"Umm, you're not planning on wearing 'that,' are you," she asked. "You'll hardly blend in with that disgruntled look on your face and wearing all white like you're the God of Justice or something."  
  
Wufei muttered under his breath about weak women taking Nataku's name in vain, but Midii ignored it.  
  
"Well," she asked again, quickly losing what little patience she had. Her head ached and she was exhausted having hardly slept the night before. As was becoming habit he stalked out wordlessly. Midii shrugged philosophically and thought that if he didn't come along she had at least tried and Sally couldn't blame her if he complained again.  
  
******  
  
When all that was left of Duo's visit were a couple of empty styrofoam coffee cups and a pile of pastry crumbs, Trowa was left alone again with his thoughts. He had the feeling Duo was right, somehow she'd gotten out of telling him exactly where she was calling from the previous evening. All of a sudden he had no idea where Midii was or what she was doing or when she would call again.  
  
He was starting to wonder why he put up with her secretive nature. It drove him crazy. Trowa pulled his shirt over his head, feeling something catch in his hair. He pulled the shirt back off and sat down on the edge of the bed, undoing the crumpled notepaper she had planted inside.  
  
"Missing you. Always remember that I am yours and you are mine. Love, Midii"  
  
Pink lipstick kisses decorated the white paper. Trowa flopped back down on the bed, closing his eyes, almost feeling her there with him. He remembered her saying those words to him before. Remembered coming home to the apartment at dusk to find her waiting in bed, pulling him down into her embrace. Saw her face looking down on him between the curtains of her hair as she straddled his thighs and the feel of her hands pressed against his shoulders. He could have easily thrown her off--if he'd wanted to.  
  
The feel of her lips leaving pink lipstick stains all over him. The feel of her hair sliding over his skin as she bent over him and undid his shirt.  
  
"Rappelez-vous toujours que je suis à vous et vous êtes les miens[1], " she whispered, staring directly into his eyes.   
  
"I have to be at work," he protested half-heartedly.  
  
"I called Cathy and told her you'd be indisposed," she answered smiling, pulling her own shirt over her head. She reached over to the nightstand and picked up her lipstick, reapplying it thickly on her pouting lips and proceeding to kiss every inch of his face and chest.   
  
"Don't want to miss a spot," she whispered, pushing his bangs back and kissing his forehead. Then she sat back and looked at him critically, admiring her abstract artwork.  
  
"Hmm," she said. "One last touch."  
  
She picked up the lipstick again and leaning close so that her hair tickled his bare skin she drew a heart on with an arrow through it on his skin and carefully wrote her name in it.  
  
"Take a look," she said, giggling like the teenager she still was. Despite everything and all they had been through they were both barely 19. "You like, mon amour?"  
  
He'd laughed his rare laugh at the sight of his image in the mirror she held, covered with cotton-candy pink lipstick kisses. Then he'd suddenly grabbed her around the waist and pinned her beneath him, snatching the lipstick tube from her hand.  
  
"Your turn now senorita," he said, drawing a large heart on the soft skin just above the black lace bra she wore.  
  
"P-r-o-p-e-r-t-y o-f T-r-o-w-a," he wrote inside.  
  
"Trowa," she whispered softly, before his lips closed over hers finally. "That's all I've ever wanted to be."  
  
"I am yours and you are mine," Trowa said softly, deciding then and there to rectify the mistake he had made in leaving her alone.  
  
Duo's words echoed in his head as he packed his bags.  
  
"If there's trouble out there she'll find it," he'd said.  
  
Not if I find her first, Trowa thought, slamming the door behind him.  
  
*******  
  
"You have an admirer already Marguerite. Shall I go and tell him to put his eyes back in his head Deejii-chan [2]," Ichiban said to Midii.  
  
She glanced casually around the room and nearly sputtered out the sip of wine she had just taken. "Take it easy Ichiban," she said calmly, hiding her shock. "I think he's harmless."  
  
He had taken her advice, she couldn't believe it. "If Cathy could see you now," Midii thought, unable to help but admire the slender muscular frame he usually hid under his loose clothing. "She'd pin you to a wall with her knives and not let you go till morning. I think I'm starting to understand her attraction."  
  
Wufei in black leather with his hair down was a sight to make any female heart pound a bit faster. Midii even noticed her companion's friend Eva taking a second look. She frowned, the obvious stares he kept casting in her direction were far from subtle.   
  
"He is rather attractive," she made herself say, not that it was a total lie. "Perhaps I should have a word with him myself?"  
  
Ichiban shook his head, flashing an angry look at the competition.  
  
"Come dance with me Marguerite," he said standing and tugging at her hand. "I can tell you what I expect of you and I will show that man that you are off limits."  
  
Midii frowned, he was acting very possessive despite being obviously involved with the dark-eyed woman called Eva. Eva was just the type who would have appealed to Stefan, Midii thought, eyeing the other girl curiously. Tall, curvaceous and as passionate as a gypsy. Perhaps Ichiban was trying to make his new lover jealous by flaunting his own past with her?  
  
The plan was simple, they usually were. A series of terrorist actions to destroy the people's confidence in the new world order, and voila instant support for new national armies and a new market in arms and weaponry to bolster a world economy that had been floundering in the past few years of peace.  
  
"Midii," Ichiban said, tightening his hand on hers, calling her attention back to him. Her eyes narrowed in irritation at his use of her real name. "I'm sorry--Marguerite. When all this is over you can be yourself again, not that I don't find the new you interesting . . ."  
  
"Ichiban if you're done explaining I'd much rather sit down," Midii said uncomfortably, he was taking advantage of her and she didn't like it. His renewed 'interest' was apparent as his arm tightened around her waist, molding her body closely to his and she couldn't help but remember the past. But she didn't want to remember that time when she had been sure she'd never see Nanashi again or even if he was still alive. A time when she tried to fill the void inside of her with someone else. Someone she thought had understood her, someone who wouldn't hate her for the things she had done to stay alive.  
  
"We have something personal to discuss," he said, holding her closer. "I have to explain." His hand slid into her hair and pressed her head against his heart tenderly. "There's something you need to know. "  
  
She lifted her head and looked at him. "There is nothing personal between us anymore. You saw to that yourself," she said, trying unsuccessfully to pull away. "This is business, pure and simple. Who I am and where I go afterward is none of your concern."  
  
"I know that I hurt you," he continued. "Things were crazy at the end of the war, when Romefeller staged their coup. I was young, so were you but I thought you'd be there when I got back. One of the reasons I took this mission was for revenge because I heard they'd killed you. It broke my heart . . ."  
  
"You told me you didn't have a heart. I know where this is heading and I've already told you no," Midii said uncertainly.  
  
"I was a fool Midii. You haven't forgotten how it was between us? I still remember your tears. Forgive me. I'll do anything you want, court you, worship you. This is the beginning of a new era. The two of us could go so far now that we are together again. The chaos people like us thrive on is coming back, we're going to bring it back," Ichiban said, searching her eyes for a sign of the feelings she had once had for him.  
  
She sighed and leaned her head back down on his shoulder, the hand in her hair that should have been soothing making her heart ache for the one she really loved--Trowa. The situation was worse than Sally or any of them had thought, she would have to play this game longer than she had intended. It would be worth it in the end, she promised herself that, but a solitary tear made its way slowly down her cheek. She felt so far away from Trowa, worlds away.  
  
Eva Ketto [3] furiously crumpled and uncrumpled her napkin as she watched the couple on the dance floor. Was that genuine emotion she saw gleaming in Ichiban's eyes? She hadn't thought him capable of true feeling. She didn't care anything about him, he was only a warm body to keep the loneliness she felt for Stefan at bay.  
  
She spotted the tear streaking Marguerite's cheek and Eva glanced at Ichiban again. Was he the one Midii Une cared about or were her tears for someone else? She would have to know for sure before she could strike. She moved her hand unobtrusively under the table and slipped a listening device in the shape of a small safety pin into a crevice of Midii's purse. One way or another she would find out where the other girl's heart lay.  
  
And then she would rip it out.  
  
******  
  
"Heero," Relena asked her husband, her hands sliding over his tight shoulders. "What's wrong?"  
  
Heero made an inarticulate sound but turned toward her and gathered her close in his arms. He silently ran his fingers through her silky, honey-colored hair but the texture didn't soothe him as it usually did. Sally had ordered him to stay out of the new situation, she said Wufei had it under control.  
  
"You're a newlywed Heero," she'd said. "Relena needs you by her side. Things like this crop up all the time and you can't be involved every time there's even a suspicion of trouble."  
  
"Then you suspect trouble," he'd countered.  
  
Sally had sighed tiredly, it seemed like to her that she had already had more than she could handle for one day and that he was just adding to her problems. Heero didn't care.  
  
"I said that you must suspect trouble," he'd repeated.  
  
"If things change I'll keep you informed," she finally agreed. "But for now don't worry. You and Relena deserve to enjoy your time together, you need to be discovering each other and growing closer, you can't do that if you're chasing every little problem down yourself. Let the rest of us handle some of these things, please."  
  
******  
  
Midii gazed at herself in the ladies' room mirror considering her options. It didn't look like she could drop out of sight yet. Ichiban was being too stingy with his information, stringing her along and not incriminating anyone with what he said. Yet the facts he had revealed were enough to frighten her. Random terrorist actions could have horrible implications.  
  
She jumped as Eva touched her on the shoulder and she raised her eyes to meet the other girl's reflection.  
  
"Are you alright, Marguerite," Eva said coolly, finding it hard to put up a pretense of friendliness with someone she hated so much. "You're acting rather strangely."  
  
Midii gulped softly before answering carefully. "It's Ichiban, he's being rather insistent," she said. "I hope you don't think I'm encouraging him, I know that you two are involved. I can't think why--"  
  
"I don't blame you at all Marguerite," Eva lied. "Please don't concern yourself. We'll be working together and I hope we can get along. Stefan talked about you so often that I feel I already know you. Perhaps the two of us can even become friends?"  
  
She smiled softly and Midii noticed how it enhanced her dark, exotic beauty.  
  
"Of course," she said automatically. "In fact Eva, if you would be so kind as to give Ichiban my regrets. I'm really not feeling well, it must be the smoke in here. I'm just going to duck out of here early and call it a night."  
  
******  
  
Sally curled up in her bathrobe in a cozy chair and stared out at the darkness. At times like this she missed the rural quiet and peace of her home on Earth. During the day the artificial conveniences of the colony were fine. But at night she wanted to see the moonlight and hear the hum of insects in the distance. She idly untwisted her golden braids and let the silky, crinkled hair loose around her shoulders. Sally leaned back her head and her eyes fluttered slowly. It had been a hell of a day and in the morning she had to look forward to another report from Midii and Wufei. She cringed in anticipation both of what they might have found out and as to how they were getting along, or more likely not getting along.  
  
If she wasn't so worried about what she was doing she might have been amused by such childish antics from a pair that had been deeply involved in the war and its aftermath since childhood.  
  
Her conversation with Heero had left her uncertain about what she was doing. Was stealth the right approach? Or should she go ahead and call in everyone and plunge right ahead, despite her lack of any solid proof that some organization was plotting something?  
  
She jumped a little when she realized someone was knocking on her door, probably had been for sometime. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she had gone off from the real world for a bit. Sally clutched the bathrobe around her and answered the door.  
  
Trowa Barton. Could her day get any worse?  
  
"Sorry to bother you at home so late Sally," he said apologetically, his emerald gaze taking in her dishevelment as he stepped inside. "I just got in. I really need to talk to you. You were the last person to see Midii. Do you have any idea where she went?"  
  
*******  
  
"Please Trowa, answer," Midii muttered as she waited for Trowa to pick up the phone. "I really need to talk to you."  
  
"Hello," a female voice finally answered, lavender eyes looked at the face on the screen sleepy and puzzled. "Who--oh my God. Midii! What have you done to yourself?"  
  
Damn, Midii thought. She'd forgotten to tamper with the screen in her anxiety to get through to Trowa. Exhausted, upset tears filled her eyes.  
  
"Cathy, I can't talk about it right now. I need to talk to Trowa. Can you put him on," Midii said.  
  
Cathrine frowned coming fully awake at the desperate sound of her friend's voice. "I don't know where he went. I assumed he was meeting up with you. He's been missing you awfully Midii. Please tell me what's wrong, you look upset. Are you in trouble?"  
  
"Nothing's wrong. I just miss him too, you wouldn't believe how much," Midii said, trying to put Cathrine's fears to rest. "If you talk to him tell him I called. Good night."  
  
"Good night," Cathrine said, looking at the already-blank screen.   
  
Midii stared back at the empty screen, she wasn't on top of her game at all. She had changed too much. It had been easy to pretend when nothing in this world had mattered to her but now there was so much at stake and she had never felt less confident in her ability.  
  
"Why now," she asked herself. "Why now when it's so important that I succeed?"  
  
To be continued . . . Heero and Trowa infiltrate Sally's office . . . someone is following Midii.  
  
Author's Notes: [1]Always remember that you are mine and I am yours. [2] Deejii-chan=Daisy-chan; Marguerite=Daisy [3] Eva Ketto: Eva-evening Ketto-two in Hungarian (FYI: Eva Ketto is the opposite of Midii Une, Midii-midday, Une-one in French, the dark and the light mwahahahahahahah-cough, ahem)  
Geez I take these name things WAY too seriously!!  



	4. Chapter 4

AN: Well it's back again, sorry for the holiday hiatus ^_~ But at least it's a nice long chapter! Feedback always appreciated and thanks for reading.  
  
The Price of Redemption  
by Midii Une  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Heero stared at the ceiling, startled awake in the middle of the night by a soft, inconsequential sound somewhere in the house. It had been nothing of course and Relena continued to sleep peacefully beside him. But he was conditioned by his training, the slightest deviation from the norm and Heero was alert and ready for action. Now there was no way he was going to get back to sleep.  
  
Relena intuitively snuggled closer to her husband and his arm went around her, his fingertips running over the smooth skin of her shoulder. He realized however that the ceiling overhead wasn't going to give him any answers to his problem. Despite Sally's pleas for him to let go a little and let the others handle some things her request totally went against his nature.  
  
In a practiced maneuver he slid out of the king-sized bed he shared with Relena and quickly stuck a pillow in her arms. A grin touched his lips, a grin that seldom appeared outside their bedroom. He reached out and smoothed back her honey-colored hair and the adorable pout and tiny frown that had appeared on her face disappeared at his touch. She had her own instincts to follow as far as he was concerned, how well he knew that. It wouldn't be long, Heero thought, before she started waking up when took to wandering around the house unable to sleep as he occasionally did.  
  
The grin faded as he slipped silently out of the house, careful to lock the door behind him. A suffocating sense of impending trouble was closing over him. Would it ever end, he wondered as he slowly walked off into the darkness.  
  
******   
  
The slender, dark-clothed man's breathing was barely quickened as he pulled himself easily inside the window of Sally Po's office. But despite his stealth and precision he was met by the beam of a heavy-duty flashlight as he turned from silently shutting the window behind him.  
  
"Trowa," Heero said, his dispassionate gaze flicking over his fellow Gundam pilot and his voice showing no trace of surprise at finding him breaking into their boss's office. In fact, Heero wasn't surprised at all. Everything was starting to make perfect sense.  
  
Heero's presence in the dark office wasn't a shock to Trowa either. It only confirmed his suspicions that Sally wasn't telling him anywhere near the whole truth.  
  
"I walked in on Sally having quite an emotional conversation with Wufei today," Heero said matter-of-factly. "I heard another voice, it was familiar but I couldn't quite place it. Seeing you makes it all click. Do you know where Midii is?"  
  
Trowa shook his head negatively. "Earth. Possibly," he said. "Though that doesn't really narrow things down much. Sally backed up her story that she'd gotten a temporary job there but I sensed that she wasn't telling me everything."  
  
"Hn," Heero said in agreement, pulling a desk chair up below a video camera unobtrusively positioned in a corner of the office. "I installed the security surveillance myself, every conversation is taped. I have the feeling Sally wouldn't have the foresight to erase or remove the tapes from the past few days."  
  
Trowa stood against the wall looking over Heero's shoulder as he played back the footage from Midii's appointment with Sally. Even on the fuzzy black and white video with the occasional dark gray lines wiggling through the picture her smile and wide-eyed beauty had power over him as they had from the day that he first met her. The power to open his heart to love and to move him to bouts of anger and feeling that no one else could. His Midii, for better or worse, his.  
  
"Oh Sally, I just want to prove to you and to Trowa that I'm trying to change. Really trying," he heard her say. "It's just that sometimes I'm so afraid I'll fall back in. It's like the feeling you get when you look over the edge of a cliff. Do you ever wonder what it might be like to jump?"  
  
"Brussels," Heero said, reaching to turn off the video as Sally explained the mission to Midii.  
  
"Wait," Trowa said, stopping him and continuing to stare at the screen. Heero shrugged.  
  
"Sally, I shouldn't leave without telling Trowa something," Midii protested. "I must confess I feel a little uncomfortable about this, without Stefan . . . after last time . . ."  
  
Sally sighed and Trowa could see indecision on her usually placid face. "No, don't do that," she said softly.  
  
"But . . ." Midii said, her voice questioning.  
  
"I know it seems dishonest but this is for the best," Sally explained. "I'll think of something, you won't be alone. But having Trowa for a partner in this might be more detrimental, don't you see that?"  
  
Midii hung her head, staring at the design in the carpet, her hand reaching up to push her hair out of her face.  
  
"Please Midii," Sally said, a pleading note in her voice. "I desperately need you to do this for me. This is the price of redemption and when it's over I'm sure he'll understand."  
  
"Sally drives a hard bargain, I didn't realize she had it in her," Heero commented as Trowa remained silent. The Midii on the screen nodded agreement with Sally, who went over the details of what she knew once again.  
  
"Relena's been invited to a diplomatic reception at the Palais d'Egmont in Brussels this weekend," Heero said. "Quatre and Dorothy Catalonia will be there as well. And you Trowa?"  
  
"Of course," he answered. "I wouldn't miss it."  
  
  
******  
  
"When are you going to put Ichiban out of his misery," Eva asked Midii as they lingered over coffee in an outdoor cafe. Midii sipped her coffee anxiously, nervous about missing Wufei's call in to Sally but unable to cancel on Eva without raising the other woman's suspicions.  
  
"What do you mean by that," Midii responded, casually scanning the crowded streets for a sign of her reluctant partner. She was wondering what Sally's reaction would be to the information they'd uncovered. She also worried about where Trowa might be, she'd been unable to reach him since that first night.  
  
"My meaning is that I wouldn't mind at all if you took him back," Eva whispered. "If that's all that's keeping the two of you apart please don't let me stop you. He's in love with you Marguerite, he's having trouble concentrating on the important things with you playing your little games with him. This is business and I want this scheme to be a success for all our sakes."  
  
"I-I just don't want to get involved with anyone right now," Midii said, raising her hand to shade her eyes from the bright afternoon sun. "Since Stefan died I just haven't been able to let myself get close to anyone again. Not even Ichiban."  
  
"Damn this sun," she cursed, uncomfortable with Eva and increasingly anxious to get back to the hotel. "Where are my stupid sunglasses?"  
  
In her anxiety Midii knocked her purse over spilling the contents all over the sidewalk.  
  
"Merde, merde, merde," she said in a low, annoyed voice. Nothing had been going right since she'd seen Trowa off on the shuttle with Cathrine. If only she could close her eyes and wish herself back to his apartment, his arms, his bed . . . she bent down to collect the things she'd dropped.  
  
She's as nervous as a cat, Eva thought, amused. She wondered what the real reason was that Marguerite refused to take up her relationship with Ichiban again, perhaps all she needed was a little something to loosen her inhibitions. Her remark about Stefan had stung Eva's heart, as if Midii Une had ever really cared about her beloved Niente. Her mistakes had brought him to his death. As Midii chased after a rolling tube of lipstick and apologized curtly to the people at the next table, Eva discreetly dropped a small tablet in the other girl's coffee. Now we'll see how she really feels, the Hungarian spy thought, her dark Gypsy eyes glowing with anticipation.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm just a wreck this afternoon," Midii apologized, trying to regain some semblance of dignity but realizing she was making a fool out of herself. "I just haven't been sleeping well. I must confess I'm a bit nervous about this mission, after everything that happened last time."  
  
"I understand," Eva said. "Drink your coffee. That should help."  
  
Her dark eyes narrowed as Marguerite took a large, hurried gulp of her coffee. 'Everything that happened last time' indeed she repeated to herself. Oh Stefan, she thought, picturing his wicked smile and feeling his hands on her body.  
  
Midii blinked, for a moment it had seemed that Eva was looking at her like she hated her. But she had been right. The coffee was making her feel better. There was nothing like a jolt of caffeine when you were exhausted.  
  
"Well, well. Speak of the devil," Eva said, watching Marguerite relax a bit as the drug took effect on her system. "Here comes our dear Richard now. Ichiban is quite a handsome man, you must agree Deejii-chan." Her voice caressed Ichiban's pet name for Marguerite sarcastically.  
  
"Well of course," Midii said, focussing where the other woman pointed. "Oh God Eva, he is gorgeous isn't he? What have I been thinking? I must have forgotten."  
  
Her hand moved automatically to touch her hair and she tucked a stray strand of silky red-gold behind her ear. Eva, a cat-that-swallowed-the-canary smile on her face, waved Ichiban over.  
  
It's such a beautiful day, Midii thought, crossing one leg over the other and raising her eyes to meet Richard's golden ones, a practiced smile appearing instantly on her lips. Richard, it had been so long since she'd thought of him this way. He was making her feel like she was a 15-year-old with a crush again. Why not have a little fun with him, she asked herself. She could think of no reason not to. He obviously wanted her and as Eva pointed out he was so handsome and it was all for the good of the mission. She turned her face to meet his lips with her own as he bent to kiss her cheek and his eyes widened with surprise as he felt her tongue touch his lips and heard her soft little moan of encouragement as he deepened the kiss.  
  
Marguerite had come to her senses at last it seemed. It would make what he had to ask her that much easier and a much more pleasant task as well, he thought, pulling his chair close to hers and wrapping a possessive arm around her shoulders, feeling immediately the soft touch of her hand on the top of his thigh.  
  
  
*********  
  
"Wufei, where the hell is she? You're supposed to know where she is, every minute, every second," Trowa said as the clock on the night table in Midii's room showed 9 p.m. and still there was no sign of her.  
  
Wufei felt defensive in the face of Trowa's accusations. Despite the deceptive calm the other man was maintaining Wufei knew that Trowa could be a dangerous when provoked, perhaps even more so than himself. There was that saying about still waters, it fit Trowa to a T. He had just gotten off the phone with Sally when suddenly he was face-to-face with the other Gundam pilot. He'd calmed him down at first with promises that the onna would be returning momentarily and now even he was a bit worried. Something must have gone wrong because she should have been back hours ago. Damn her, she had an uncanny penchant for getting herself into trouble at the worst times.  
  
"She only went out for coffee," Wufei protested. "I had to discuss the situation with Sally. I can't be with her every moment of the day, she said that herself."  
  
"If she comes back, keep her here," Trowa said tersely. "I'm going out."  
  
He slammed out of the room before Wufei could answer. He could almost admit to a sense of relief that Trowa had somehow appeared on the scene. He wasn't enjoying this mission one bit.  
  
  
******  
  
"Stop it Deejii-chan," Ichiban murmured half-heartedly, finding it difficult to unlock the door of his house with Marguerite draped all over him and her lips planting moist kisses on his neck.  
  
"I thought you liked my kisses," she protested, the hint of a pout in her voice. "You said they were sweeter than wine and I know you like wine, Richard cherie."  
  
He groaned a little and leaned back against the door, his arms pulling her closer. "Yes Marguerite, I like your kisses please just wait till we get inside."  
  
"Oh Richard," she huffed. "Don't be such a stick-in-the-mud, maybe I'll change my mind and go home."  
  
Wherever that may be, she wondered, the thought made Midii laugh softly. Oh well, she had Richard. He would take care of her. Very good care, she thought, as her fingers moved to undo the buttons of his shirt and she bent her head to plant soft kisses on the warm skin of his chest.  
  
Finally, Ichiban thought as the key finally turned in the lock. He pulled Marguerite into the hallway and shut and locked the door behind them.  
  
"Now no changing your mind and going home," he said. "Stay. Stay all night and all day. Stay with me forever Deejii-chan."  
  
"Mmmmhmmm," she said noncommittally, wanting only to kiss him again, it felt so very good.  
  
"Seriously Marguerite," Ichiban said, holding her away from him a little. "We should talk first. This isn't like last time. I'm serious about what I said the other night. I love you."  
  
"Oh Richard, I don't want to be serious. Just kiss me," she said, pulling his head down to hers again. He complied but something nagged at the back of his mind. Midii was never like this. When they'd made love in the past she'd been so shy, always letting him take the lead. She leaned heavily on him, her kisses almost making him forget his thoughts. Perhaps she had changed for the better, simply become a more aggressive lover as she matured. It could be an interesting development. He bent and placed an arm beneath her knees, scooping her slight figure into his arms and carrying her up to bed.  
  
Ichiban flipped on the bedside light.   
  
"Midii," he said, holding her away from him slightly. "Talk to me. And for God's sake take those contacts out. I want to talk to you. Not Marguerite. Not tonight. Besides we're alone."  
  
Midii sighed in irritation but went into the bathroom to take her contacts out. She blinked at herself in the mirror. Everything was so confusing. All she really wanted was to be held right now, there was an ache deep inside that seemed like it was trying to bubble up inside her somehow.  
  
"Midii, what's gotten into you," Ichiban said, watching her step out of her dress, then holding her close and running his hand softly through her hair. He lowered her down on the pillows and her arms drew him closer.  
  
He lifted his head to look into her eyes. He liked her better without those bright blue contacts, the color made him remember someone else. And Ichiban didn't like being reminded of failure. But after all, it was all for the best now that he'd found Midii again.  
  
"Damn it," he cursed suddenly, disentangling himself from her arms and turning up the light. He studied her eyes, they were glazed and the pupils were dilated making them look almost black.  
  
"Richard? What's the matter," she said, her voice puzzled and, he now noticed, rather vague.  
  
"Nothing," he lied. "Nothing at all, my love. You just seem tired. Don't you want to sleep? We'll talk in the morning."  
  
"But don't you want to--" she started, hurt, disappointed tears welling in her eyes.  
  
"Of course," he said reassuringly, "but you're so tired."  
  
She yawned and snuggled against him, obviously so open to the power of suggestion in her state that his words seemed to make her instantly drowsy and amenable. The warmth of her body wrapped around his was making it difficult for him to stick to his decision. But Ichiban realized that if he took advantage of her drugged state she would never forgive him for it. There was still some feeling for him within her, there must be, all this affection couldn't be the result of drugs. Within moments she was asleep and he drew the blanket tenderly up over her bare shoulder. When he was sure she was out he carefully reached over for the bedside phone.  
  
"Eva," he hissed quietly and angrily. "What the hell are you trying to pull?"  
  
***********  
  
Heero sat at his desk, staring intently at the face on the screen. The face behind one of the names Sally had gotten from Midii Une. It was so hard to believe, if it was true then the trouble was much deeper than any of them had expected. He continued to stare at the face, committing it to memory. The face of his enemy.  
  
Relena peered over Heero's shoulder. Since the night before he had become increasingly distant.  
  
"Richard Ichiban," she said, instantly recognizing the face on the screen. "Do you know him Heero?"  
  
Heero turned to his wife startled. "No. I was researching the invited guests at the reception tomorrow. You know him?"  
  
"Of course. I know Richard very well," she said. "He is the head of security issues for President Viertien [1] after all. Do you suspect something with Richard, Heero? As I remember he was a rather charming man, and almost as handsome as you. Actually, he invited me to dinner more than once, but I never accepted."  
  
Heero remained silent, this man was smart and charismatic enough to worm his way into the confidence of the highest officials of the Unified Nation. Danger like this was worse than mobile suits. At least a battle was straightforward. Who knew who might be involved in a conspiracy of this magnitude and who it might hurt.  
  
He gazed at Relena's lovely, innocent face. All he wanted to do was protect her. He wished he could hide her away from the rising storm, but it would hit, there was nothing they could do to stop it. All they could hope for was to minimize the impact.  
  
"Heero, please say something," Relena repeated. "You can't suspect him of any wrong-doing. Please say you're wrong about this. Something like that, a traitor at the top levels, that could be devastating!"  
  
"We'll know more when we get to that reception," Heero said. "Until then we give nothing away."   
  
******  
  
Terrified shrieks echoed through the house from the bedroom above.  
  
"Kuso," Ichiban muttered, he'd hoped to have completed his work and return to her before she woke up in a panic and frightened the staff. He clicked off his computer program and raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time, only to find his stoic butler held hostage at the end of a letter opener.  
  
"Where am I and who the hell are you," he heard Marguerite ask the surprised man, a slight tremble in her voice that he doubted the terrified hired help detected.  
  
"That will be all, Stevenson," Ichiban said calmly, dismissing his relieved butler. "Please forgive Miss Doce, she is prone to horrible nightmares."  
  
Midii stared at Ichiban as the butler hurried from the room. What a way to start the morning, the man thought as he walked away down the hall. He'd gone in expecting to simply make up the bed and tidy the room and instead been attacked and nearly deafened by a shrieking hellcat.  
  
"What's going on here," Midii asked, her voice steady and exuding false outrage and self-confidence, but her eyes belying her fright and confusion. "How did I get here and what is this place?"  
  
Ichiban approached Marguerite cautiously but she held the letter opener in front of her threateningly and he raised his hands in an attitude of surrender.  
  
"Alright Marguerite, I won't come any closer. Just let me explain," he said. It was difficult to restrain the urge to chuckle at her in amusement, she was hardly threatening, despite the weapon. In fact he was much more distracted by the revealing camisole she wore, one strap falling tantalizingly over her slender shoulder, than by the danger she posed with a letter opener.  
  
"It seems our friend Eva played a mischievous trick on you Deejii-chan," he explained carefully. "She confessed to me last night that she slipped some Rohypnol in your coffee yesterday afternoon. Are you feeling quite alright now? Your obvious feelings of paranoia are just aftereffects of the drug Marguerite. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. I lost track of time."  
  
"I-I slept here," Midii croaked, lowering the letter opener, trying to wrap her mind around the information he was giving her. Terror engulfed her as she noticed her state of undress and the rumpled bed that had obviously held two the night before. "And what else?"  
  
"That's all of course," Ichiban said, congratulating himself that he'd abstained the night before. "I would never take advantage of you. I truly care for you Marguerite and I think my admirable self-control in spite of your best attempts at seduction last night proves that beyond a shadow of a doubt."  
  
What had she done, Midii wondered, her natural feelings of discomfort magnified by the lingering effects of Eva's drugged coffee. She could remember nothing of the day before, it was a complete blank in her mind. She might have done anything. Anything. She had almost betrayed Trowa, would have betrayed Trowa . . .  
  
She collapsed to her knees in a corner of the luxuriously-appointed room and sobbed heartbrokenly.  
  
Ichiban sighed in annoyance. He much preferred the Midii of the night before to this sobbing wreck, but he knelt beside her and patted her shoulder. "It wasn't your fault, Marguerite, calm down now so we can talk," he said comfortingly.  
  
She raised her tear-stained face to his. "Talk about what," she asked, desperately trying to pull herself together.  
  
"The mission, of course and your part in it," he said.  
  
"Richard," she whispered, looking around the huge room, noting the expensive furniture. "What is this place? Who are you?"  
  
"This is my house and I am a very important man. A very important man who has gained the utmost trust of the most influential people in the new government. There is only one thing I lack, a partner to share it all with. When the new world is created I will be at the top and I want you with me Marguerite," he said, reaching into his pocket for something.  
  
Midii looked down as she felt something cool and heavy slip over her left ring finger.  
  
"Marry me Marguerite, Midii," he whispered. "Play this game with me. Be at my side at the diplomatic reception tomorrow night. Know all that I know and together we will take the world by storm, or force as need be."  
  
"This is a game," she said, her voice faltering. "You must be joking. You don't really want to marry me."  
  
"If that's how you want to play it," he said, his voice hardening. What was wrong with her, why wasn't she kissing him and saying yes as he had imagined he would? The night before had proved that she still had a physical attraction for him. Perhaps it was just too soon.  
  
"Either way you will wear the ring and go to that reception as my fiancée," he said. "You will be lovely and dignified and charm everyone you see. You will add to my credibility and we will be the perfect couple. Above suspicion in every way. As soon as you say the word the engagement will become genuine, the sooner the better. Give me a chance, please."  
  
Midii looked at the ring. It was huge and gorgeous, eerily like Dorothy Catalonia's. She saw Trowa's face in her mind. She couldn't do this, it was too much to ask. She was afraid of where it would lead. But she didn't dare say no, now. The girl she had been would have leaped at this chance and Ichiban knew that very well.  
  
"I have to think," she said softly, making herself look at the ring with admiration, after all it was lovely, although it made her feel as if she were wearing a shackle. "Please give me more time Richard."  
  
"As much as you need, my love," he said, kissing her forehead softly.  
  
"I have to leave," she said hastily. "I can't think here, I need to be alone. This is all such a surprise and as you said Richard I'm not feeling at all myself right now."  
  
"I'll drive you to your hotel or better yet you can be alone right here," Ichiban said. "I have plenty of work to do downstairs."  
  
"I think I'd rather go home," Midii whispered.  
  
******  
  
The change of seasons was already making itself known. While the September days were still warm and sunny the night's chill cast a fog on the antiquated brick streets of Old Town Brussels, the part of the city left over from before the construction of the colonies. It's buildings and landmarks carefully preserved to give future generations a glimpse of the past.   
  
Midii had let Ichiban drop her off at a random hotel. She wanted to keep her true whereabouts a secret, she needed a safe place he didn't know about. She walked along the old, quiet streets. It was still quite early in the morning. She dreaded going back to the hotel, Wufei would be understandably furious at her long absence.  
  
The place was gloomy in the misty air but Midii walked aimlessly. I'm so messed up I don't even know where I'm going, she thought. It was frustrating and frightening having no recollection of how she had ended up in this part of town. Ichiban's revelations had her on edge as well. But not as much as what had almost happened, she had almost betrayed Trowa. Her heart thumped sickeningly in her chest. It was too much, it was too awful. She wanted to quit. To hell with Sally Po and Preventers, to hell with the world, it wasn't her responsibility. It wasn't, she repeated mentally, trying to convince herself. She only cared about one person. Just Trowa.  
  
She looked at the heavy ring, glinting in the rays of sunlight that pierced the mist. She twisted at it and finally it came off and she stashed it deep inside her purse. She couldn't look at it now, didn't want to feel it on her hand.  
  
Trowa sat frustrated at the base of one of the famous guild statues that surrounded the little square. He glanced up at the sound of footsteps and saw a figure a little ways off in the lifting mist. His breath caught in recognition but the sunlight gleamed on red-gold curls. It wasn't Midii, just a girl enough like her to make his heart thump painfully. Where was she? He got up and walked in the opposite direction of the girl he'd seen, there was still a chance she'd returned to the hotel since the last time he'd checked in.  
  
As he turned a corner he saw her again and looked closer. The walk, her height, the lines of her body, so familiar, so very much like Midii. His throat constricted and he saw her many faces. How she looked when she woke up in the morning, her face clean and bare of makeup. That was the face he loved most. How she looked when they'd danced at Il Ritmo de la Mare, her face so beautiful, a mask of perfection, but always love in her eyes. That night the first time he'd seen it, believed in it. The girl he followed lifted her hand to push the fine, silky hair back from her face as she walked, her steps quickening. Midii's gesture. He quickened his own steps and his hand reached out of it's own accord to grab at her arm.  
  
You're feeling paranoid, it's just the drug, she told herself, a twinge of fear twisting inside as she heard the footsteps behind her quicken in time with her own. She winced as she felt again Mezzo's hands on her arms, his awful voice purring maliciously in her ear. A nightmare she could never forget.  
  
Trowa heard the girl's gasp of terror as he touched her arm and his fingers closed around it, the feel of her skin so familiar. What the hell was he thinking, he thought as he tried to calm her down, she couldn't be Midii. Midii would recognize him, she would never be afraid of him.  
  
"Miss, please I'm sorry," he said softly, she was so upset he didn't want to let her go without explaining. "I made a mistake . . ."  
  
At the sound of his voice she raised her face to his and he glimpsed her desperately frightened blue-grey eyes.  
  
"Trowa? How did you . . ." she cut off her words and flung herself in his arms, wrapping her own around his waist and hiding her face against his chest as she cried, nuzzling her face against the dark blue turtleneck he always wore when she wasn't around to nag him to wear something else for a change.  
  
He held her against him, his mind in a whirl. He had been so angry, he'd wanted to give her hell for doing this again. But, he'd never seen her so upset before and now all he could do was hold her. He knew that despite everything he would forgive her again, feelings of concern and protectiveness overwhelming everything else as she shook in his arms. Where had she been all this time and what had happened to her?  
  
Next time on The Price of Redemption . . . Midii and Trowa are missing . . . disaster strikes . . . Relena comes face to face with an old admirer and Trowa acquires a new one.  
  
[1]=Viertien is 14 in Dutch, yes I love those GundamWing numbered names ^_~   
  



	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: I'm trying to get these out a bit faster now the holidays are over. Please review, your input is very much appreciated. LEMON warning in this chapter . . . As always for newbies to my fics: Midii Une is NOT an original character, she is a character from Gundam Wing Episode Zero Manga. Visit my site for details, http://midiiune.tripod.com/spysilence/index.html Most of the details of Midii and Trowa's past together are taken directly from the manga.  
  
  
The Price of Redemption  
Chapter 5  
by Midii Une  
  
He could still hardly believe it was really her, the girl he'd left behind.  
  
"Your hair," he whispered, trailing his fingers through the tangled mass of strawberry curls. "Midii what did you do?"  
  
"I had to, I'm sorry," she quavered, the blue-gray eyes circled with dripping black mascara welling with tears and her lower lip trembling as she looked at him almost fearfully, sensing his disapproval.  
  
"Okay, it's okay Midii," Trowa said softening, cupping her face in his hands and studying her features again to assure himself it really was her. "Let's go inside and talk, you're shaking."  
  
She shook her head.  
  
"No. Please Trowa. Let's go away and never, ever come back. Please," her voice was urgent and her eyes desperate as she glanced up at the windows of the hotel.  
  
His uneasiness increased with her strange behavior. His teasing, sparkling Midii, who'd made such an effort to bring him out of his shell had suddenly retreated into one of her own.   
  
"Please Trowa," her soft voice begged and her eyes captured his. "I'm so afraid."  
  
Her words clenched at his heart, he could feel her genuine terror. Across the street he caught sight of a delivery man parking his motorcycle and disappearing into a building.  
  
"Come on then," he said tugging at her unresisting hand. "Let's go."  
  
Wufei jerked awake as he heard a motorcycle gunning it's engine loudly oustside and the enraged shouts of its owner as it disappeared down the street. He looked at the clock. 7 am. They still hadn't come back. He was going to have to think of something to tell Sally but he was damned if he knew what that was going to be.  
  
**********  
  
Quatre's words caught in his throat. They were going to be late . . . but the sight of her made him forget what he'd meant to say, forget about the shuttle, the diplomatic mission, everything but the vision before him.  
  
Dorothy kicked at the dress that pooled around her ankles in irritation. Not right, none of them were right. A soft sound from the direction of the doorway caught her attention and she spun in the direction of the sound, her long, moonlight-colored hair swirling around her like a silken veil on a dancer.  
  
The quick-tempered Catalonia mistook Quatre's bemusement for amusement and right now she didn't feel like being amusing. She folded her arms over her chest and huffed in irritation.   
  
"Quatre! Don't just stand there grinning like a Cheshire cat," she complained, stamping her silk-stockinged foot for emphasis. "Help me choose a dress to wear to the reception tomorrow."  
  
She turned and marched into the walk-in closet, her hand riffling over the rows of silk, taffeta, velvet and satin gowns in every color of the rainbow.  
  
Quatre followed her in, wrapping his arms around her waist and nudging her hair away from her shoulder to plant a kiss on the soft, pale skin.  
  
"Argghh, I have nothing to wear," Dorothy moaned.  
  
"Hmmm, Dorothy, why don't you just wear this," Quatre suggested, mischief now blatant in his aquamarine eyes as he felt her tense with outrage.  
  
"This! This? Quatre this is a slip, an undergarment," Dorothy sputtered. "Men know nothing, absolutely nothing . . . why . . ."  
  
Her tirade stalled as one of his hands caressed the smooth white silk of her slip making her feel warm and flushed and loved. The fierce expression on her face changed to a wistful smile as he moved her in his arms to face him and he leaned towards her to brush his nose against hers.  
  
Their lips touched and it wasn't long before Quatre lost his shirt and Dorothy's slip slid softly to the closet floor. She giggled softly and contentment washed over Quatre as he lowered her willing form to the floor. Her laughter was the most beautiful sound he could imagine and his own heart swelled with happiness as he saw her smiling up at him. He knew he that he was finally so very close to healing her broken heart at last.  
  
********  
  
Crying children and annoyed passengers made a constant din at the L4 cluster spaceport.  
  
"What's the hold-up," a man asked the flustered spaceport employee. "I have important business on Earth. What are we waiting on?"  
  
Others in the crowd started mumbling as well, and finally a shuttle company representative stepped up to the PA system.  
  
"Sorry for the delay. You may now start boarding," the representative sighed in relief as the passengers filed toward the gate in an orderly fashion. She didn't notice a thin young man wearing dark glasses glancing around at the others nervously and clutching a shopping bag in his sweating hands.  
  
"What do you think you're doing," one of her friends asked as she stepped away from the PA and headed back to her office. "We were supposed to hold that shuttle for Mr. Winner and his fiancée. You know the boss was very excited that Mr. Winner was going to travel to Earth on a commercial flight and chose our shuttle line. I wouldn't want to be you when he finds out what you've pulled Linda."  
  
"What else could I do," Linda said, her face flushing as she thought of her boss's disapproval. "We had a terminal full of angry people who were about ready to riot. Let the high and mighty Mr. Winner take one of his own shuttles. It's all just a publicity stunt anyway. Everyone knows the rich don't have to travel in cattle cars like the rest of us. Besides the man is 45 minutes late and still no sign of him."  
  
********  
  
Trowa tapped softly on the bathroom door, no answer. "Midii? Are you alright in there," he called, rattling the knob gently. He leaned his forehead against the door and shut his eyes. Was this some kind of strange justice for all the times he'd given Cathrine the silent treatment when things had been going badly during the war? He turned the knob and the door opened into the warm mist. She sat there in the bathtub with her back to him and he nearly breathed a sigh of relief. What was I worried about, he thought. People hardly ever drown in bubble baths.  
  
She hadn't said a word as they drove away from Brussels. She'd clung silently to his hand when he registered them at the little hotel he'd finally found out in the countryside somewhere. And now she sat silently, her eyes faraway, staring unseeing at the water.  
  
Tiny curls escaped from the haphazard knot she'd pinned her hair into, they nestled against her damp face and neck. The room was full of the scent of lavender and little clusters of glistening bubbles clung to her moist skin.  
  
"Midii," Trowa said again, totally at a loss with how to deal with her continued silence. "Can you talk to me now? Whatever it is, I'll try to make it alright."  
  
She glanced at him then and he could see that her eyes were full of despair. His hand reached out to stroke her bare shoulder, his fingers gliding easily over her soapy skin.  
  
"I don't deserve you anymore Trowa," she whispered finally. "I almost betrayed you again. I almost did, I would have--"  
  
She leaned her face on her arms on the opposite side of the tub and hid from him.  
  
"I was careless," she whispered. "It was all my fault . . ."  
  
She felt the frothy bubbles move around her, sliding over her skin and a wave of water sloshed over side of the tub.  
  
Trowa lowered himself into the water and pulled her close to him, the water precariously slopping out of the tub as he settled into position.  
  
"Whatever you have to say Midii, whatever you've done, it doesn't matter anymore," he whispered in her ear, his lips brushing her cheek. "Now that we're together again, everything's alright."  
  
She shook her head.  
  
"What happened last night," he asked. "Where were you?"  
  
"I don't know how it happened Trowa," she answered softly. "I don't know, I can't remember anything. I can't talk about it, you'll hate me again--"  
  
A choked-back sob shook her body and he held her tighter and took a deep breath.  
  
"I'm not a child anymore Midii, I won't turn my back on you this time, no matter what," he said slowly. "Last night I walked and walked and I couldn't find you. That's when I knew that if I ever did get you back again I'd never leave your side. I've changed. You changed me. I can't live without you anymore. I can't go back to the way I used to be, back to being alone."  
  
"Trowa you don't understand. I keep doing the wrong thing. We weren't even apart 24 hours and I lied to you and came here. I should never have come here, it was all wrong from the start. No matter how much I love you I always do the wrong thing. Why does it keep happening? Why, when I love you so much," she said, shaking her head hopelessly, the words she had always wanted to hear from him made less precious by the knowledge that soon he would take them back and leave her alone again.   
  
"Just tell me what happened," he begged, her unusual despondency starting to scare him. "Tell me what you've found out. Is it as bad as Sally expected?"  
  
"Worse, and I haven't been able to find out the information she needs to stop it," Midii explained, her senses clearing a little as she considered Trowa's sensible question. "I've made contact with someone from my past who claims to be an important part of the new government. There's a faction planning to initiate terrorist actions in order to frighten the old nations into dividing once again and forming armies. The economy is in a shambles Trowa, the representatives are just waiting for anything to come up as an excuse to start up military production again."  
  
"Do the people you're working with trust you Midii, or are they on to you? Is that it," Trowa prodded, disturbed by her revelations but more concerned about what had happened to her the day before to make her so upset.  
  
"Yes," Midii said carefully. "Rich--Ichiban seems to have accepted me back without reservation. It's difficult for him to doubt my sincerity and I've led him to believe I changed my identity to hide from Preventers."  
  
There was a question in his eyes, scratch that, a lot of questions in his eyes. She sighed softly and continued.  
  
"Yesterday something happened. I was supposed to meet with Eva, a woman who works with my contact. She's like me, in a way, a spy, an expert in lies and betrayal," Midii said.  
  
"You're not like that anymore," Trowa said comfortingly, twisting one of her curls around his finger and staring at the unfamiliar color of it.  
  
"I am," Midii whispered. "The only difference is that now I'm betraying him instead of you. I don't remember, but I must have gone to meet her. You say Wufei said I went?"  
  
Trowa nodded, concentrating on her words. She turned in the tub, putting her back to him and lowering her head. He tried to shift her so she would look at him but she shook him off.  
  
"This morning, when I woke up, I didn't know where I was," she continued after awhile. "I couldn't, I can't--I spent the night there. There was someone strange in the room, I screamed and Richard came running. He told me what happened . . . she put something in my coffee, I wasn't myself, Trowa . . . I wasn't myself, but . . ."  
  
"If he touched you I will kill him," Trowa said in a voice Midii didn't recognize.  
  
"He didn't," Midii said, putting her hand to her forehead and rubbing her fingers at her temples, trying to force herself to remember the previous evening.  
  
"How do you know he's telling the truth," Trowa asked bitterly. "He's a liar isn't he?"  
  
Midii was silent.  
  
"How do you know he's telling you the truth," Trowa persisted. "You're lying to him, why are you so sure he's not doing the same? How can you be sure Midii?"  
  
"Richard wouldn't, not about this," she said softly.  
  
Someone from my past . . . Richard . . . her voice had a different quality to it when she mentioned his name.  
  
"Why? Why wouldn't he," Trowa asked again, almost not wanting to know. There was so much about her he would probably never know . . .   
  
"He knows me. He knows I wouldn't be that way, knew the things I was doing weren't right. He knows how I am when . . . Trowa please, please believe me. It just didn't happen," Midii stuttered.  
  
"Why are you trusting him on this, Midii?"  
  
"You were gone, gone for years. I never thought I'd ever see you again Trowa. I hoped and I dreamed of you but I never believed . . . then I met Richard, he made me feel a little like you did. It was during the war, I never thought I had a future with you Trowa . . . I needed someone . . ."  
  
"And . . ."  
  
"Ichiban . . . Richard . . . he wants . . .he wants it to be the way it was."  
  
His hand grabbed at her wrist, tightening around it like a vise. She looked at him, afraid of what she'd see.  
  
"You are mine and I am yours," he said. "Did you mean that? Did you say it only to me?"  
  
"Yes Trowa," she gasped as his grip tightened painfully. "If it had been possible for us to have always been this way I would have been so happy. So long ago when I stepped out of those woods I was so afraid until I saw your face. And then it was like I had been called there for a reason, despite the awful thing I had to do. We were there to save each others lives and I loved you, even though I was just a little girl I knew."  
  
"Can't you feel it," she whispered, her hands sliding up over his shoulders, her face drawing nearer to his as his hands circled her waist and pulled her closer. "We belong together, we keep ending up together even though I am what I am and you are what you are. Let me be with you always, I'll never need anyone else. Never want anyone else."  
  
Her eyes seemed to glow with the strength of her convictions.  
  
"I believe you," he breathed, pulling her against his chest and kissing her.   
  
Her arms circled his neck and their wet bodies clung together, neither one caring that the water had turned rather cold.  
  
"Tomorrow," she murmured, her breathing changing to short gasps as his hands moved over her and his lips nuzzled at the curve of her neck. "Tomorrow let's go home to Provence. We were so happy there."  
  
He covered her lips with his and hers parted, opening to him eagerly. Yes, he thought, they had been very happy there. He remembered the wonderful necessity of sleeping close together on her little bed, the smile on her face when he pushed her in the swing, the lines of her profile as she peeked over her shoulder at him and her long hair flying in the spring breeze. Provence, their special place.  
  
They stopped for breath and looked at each other.  
  
"I love you Trowa, only you," she said, shivering a little in the cool water.  
  
He pulled her close again, her body weightless in the water, positioning her on his lap so he could enter her.  
  
"Midii," he gasped. "I can't get close enough to you."  
  
She grabbed the sides of the tub with her hands as his strong arms kept her in place guiding her movements, kissing her neck when she tipped her head back in pleasure.  
  
******  
  
The colony shuddered, reminiscent of an earthquake. Only there was no such thing as those horrific tremors in space. It was one of the things that beckoned people to live on the colonies, the absence of natural disasters. All the colonies had surveillance set up and there was little danger even from the occasional brushes with space debris.  
  
"A meteor shower, perhaps," Quatre thought trying to come up with a reason for the unexplained movement, glancing at Dorothy beside him as the car they were riding in stopped as traffic backed up and people panicked at the unprecedented occurrence.  
  
Dorothy shrugged, she was still feeling amorous from their recent encounter in the closet and gratified by Quatre's promise that they would make an unscheduled stop in Paris to do a little shopping. The new delay didn't upset her at all as these things usually did. She squeezed Quatre's hand in hers and the look in her lovely lavender-blue eyes could only be called suggestive.  
  
But for once Quatre was unmoved by Dorothy's come-hither look though he automatically returned her squeeze lovingly. He had quickly come to the awful realization that something was very wrong.  
  
Quatre rolled down the black-tinted window of the Mercedes and stuck his head out, only to hear Dorothy gasp and pull pack on his arm quickly as an ambulance whizzed by, nearly sideswiping their car. Ignoring Dorothy's pull on his arm he stuck his head back out and saw thick black smoke and red and orange flame in the distance. From the direction of the spaceport.  
  
At that moment the driver opened the window that separated him from his passengers.  
  
"Radio announcer just said an Earth-bound shuttle exploded on the pad at the space port. Lucky for you you were running late Mr. Winner," he said.  
  
Quatre's face paled but his mind reacted with the quick instincts of a Gundam pilot. "Drive on the median if you have to but get me to the space port as quickly as you can. I know I can be of help there," he said, the air of command in his voice jump-starting the driver, who stepped on the gas as the sportscar screeched onto the grass in the center strip and by-passed the gawking motorists who continued to stare unbelieving at the proof of the disaster up ahead.  
  
**********  
  
That voice [1]. Silky and sensual with a sexy hint of Spanish influence, his words resounded low and soft in her ears. Her body reacted pleasurably just to the sound of it, shivers of delight coursing through her and making her run her hands over her arms, arms that bore goosebumps just from hearing his voice.  
  
And she didn't even know what he looked like. Her passionate nature was easily aroused and in that moment when she first heard his voice, Eva knew she wouldn't be able to stop until she heard that voice close to her ear like she did now, but with the warmth of his breath on her face and the feel of his hands moving over her.   
  
"Who are you," she wondered, adjusting the earpiece she wore in an effort to hear him more clearly. They must be almost out of range. The device she'd planted in Marguerite's purse was very advanced but it still could only transmit sound from a radius of 50 miles or less.  
  
"Who are you," she said softly aloud. "And why do you content yourself with that pallid, passionless little girl?"  
  
"Trowa," she heard Marguerite say, her wishy-washy, simpering voice grating on her nerves and deepening her hatred incrementally. "You really forgive me?"  
  
"Trowa," Eva repeated. "Trowa."  
  
Her eyes narrowed as she heard the unmistakable sounds of kissing, soft contented sounds and the creak of a bed.  
  
"Midii," he said, Eva closed her eyes as that voice washed over her again. A voice too full of love and understanding for one so undeserving, she thought. "I've come to a decision. I don't want you going back to Brussels. It's too dangerous and maybe too difficult for you to betray someone you knew . . . had feelings for. . ."  
  
Eva's eyes lit up. This was what she had waited for. Marguerite was a double agent, she meant to betray Ichiban. Too good to be true, the dark-haired young woman thought, glancing at herself jubilantly in the mirror. And this Trowa, his voice had the tone of jealousy and hidden anger in it even though his words were calm and understanding. The whole situation was tailor-made to work to her advantage.  
  
Should she tell Ichiban, she wondered. No, she suddenly decided, her own revenge must be foremost. Especially after he had scolded her so humiliatingly, simply because she had put a little something in his dear Deejii-chan's coffee. But how would she achieve her revenge, she wondered, if Midii and her lover did not come back to Brussels?  
  
*******  
  
Next time on Price of Redemption . . . Dorothy comes face to face with the ghosts of her past at the disaster scene . . . the other pilots arrive in Brussels. . . Trowa chooses between love and friendship.  
  
[1]: Don't Trowa's voice actors Kirby Morrow (US) and Shigeru Nakahara (JAP) have the sexiest voices? Close your eyes some time and take a listen! This segment of POR is my little homage to them.--Midii  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note:Sorry about the delay, I had a heckuva time with this chapter.Chapter 7 will be available soon, I promise!

The Price of Redemption

by Midii Une

Chapter 6

Relena buried her face in the tousled, luxurious mop of Heero's hair.He could sense the frustration and sorrow in her heart as her slender body trembled against his.Attacks against peace affected her physically and he found it difficult to sit there facing everyone with his usual no-nonsense stare, the stare he had perfected to hide his feelings until eventually all feeling had left him and he had become the perfect soldier.Relena's presence in his life was reversing that and only those close to him, those in the room, knew how much of a breakthrough it really was when he reached one of his hands up to hers as she stood behind his chair and gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

The rest of them sat still and silent as footage of the shuttle explosion on L4 ran over and over like a nightmare on the huge vidscreen in the hotel conference room Sally and Lady Une had requisitioned.

Duo glanced at Hilde, the flames from the burning twisted metal on the screen reflected in her shining, solemn eyes.He glanced over at Sally who had her head bowed as conversed with Lady Une via vidphone in a corner of the huge empty room

They all glanced up and shifted in their chairs as Wufei stalked into the room.

"No sign of Trowa," Heero asked.Wufei shook his head.

Duo cleared his throat."You know you guys, there's a side to Trowa when it comes to that girl that most of you haven't seen.I bet they're together somewhere.Just watch.I bet this thing with the shuttle will smoke him out, definitely.

By tomorrow, we'll all be back together, one big happy family again," Duo finished, hoping that what he said was true.

"I hope you're right, Duo," Sally muttered.What ifs raced through her thoughts.What if this Richard Ichiban had seen through Midii's ruse and killed her?Or what if Midii had turned on them?What if another terrorist attack was taking place as they sat here waiting?

Heero seemed to read her thoughts."You were doing the right thing, at least in principle.Don't tear yourself apart second guessing now," he said, his voice cold but his words well meant."We can't fight this type of thing with weapons or mobile suits.We just have to hope that Trowa found her and that he brings her back."

*************

Voices from the past sounded at the edge of Dorothy's conscious thought.She stood alone and regally aloof, staring through the floor-to-ceiling window at the disaster scene.Once she might have found such destruction magnificent and oddly exciting.But that was when the destruction was caused by professional soldiers clad in armor of the most awe-inspiring kind--mobile suits.The death and mayhem caused by this terrorist attack struck her heart with pain for so many reasons.She and Quatre could be dead right now, but that was only a part of it.To die at his side, her hand in his, would not be the worst thing that could befall her.Painful memories assaulted her from every direction as she stood there looking calm and untouched by the disaster.She could still see the afterimage of smoke from the recent explosion, so eerily like that she had seen on the screen when her grandfather's shuttle was shot down in space.The only time she had given in to a flicker of genuine emotion during the war, the soul-burning pain showing itself only in a tiny falter in her voice before she pulled herself together again.

And the voice.She could hear that voice again, it sounded so real, so exactly like the voice she had heard when Papa had been killed.

"Now miss, you must be a proper young lady and control yourself.No tears now!Your parents are dead and tears will not bring them back.Be strong, you are the oldest, I haven't the time for you to go into hysterics, there are the little ones to think of," a woman's voice, surely a heartless woman to say such things to a child.

When she'd heard that voice as a child the young, grief-stricken Dorothy had done as her governess ordered, swallowed her agony, swallowed her tears.To comfort herself she had begun to envision war as the most important and noble of human pursuits.Surely nothing less would induce her Papa to die, to go away from her . . . only the most glorious and wondrous of causes could have taken him away and she was proud of him, there was no reason for tears . . .

"I mean it now," the stern voice repeated impatiently, despite Dorothy's continual attempts to ignore it.She had done as she was told, why was the voice back?"No tears.They will do no good and I have my hands full as it is."

Dorothy felt ill, her chest shook and felt tight and her stomach churned.It was as if her governess was right behind her.That scolding, uncaring voice tormenting her.Quatre, where are you?I need you, her mind begged as she looked out onto the spaceport tarmac unable to make out his figure amongst the hordes of investigators down their amongst the moltenmetal and billowing black smoke, arcs of streaming water from firefighting equipment causing incongruous rainbows to appear over them all.

She turned, prepared to push her way through the security barricades and find him, whoever tried to stop her be damned.She needed Quatre, the reassurance of his arms, the peace and love in his tranquil blue eyes.

And then she saw them.A tall, sharp-faced woman, holding a child of about two on her hip and holding a wailing four-year-old by the hand.She towered over a young girl, perhaps 8 at the oldest and continued her tirade.It was all real, not a nightmare dredged up from her own past but an injustice being visited upon another little girl.

"It's very wrong to cry Miss," the woman said again, speaking crossly to her young charge as Dorothy stared at them, her anger growing silently by the second."Can't you see I've got my hands full?Be the little lady you are, no tears now."

Dorothy's eyes blazed with blue fire.It was obvious toher from the other woman's clothing and manner that she was a sort of nanny to these children.She strode over and pulled the squalling toddler out of the other woman's arms, her gaze softening minutely as she glanced at the angelic blonde child . . . perhaps . . . someday . . . then her mind snapped back to its purpose and her hand reached out and delivered a sharp stinging blow to the nanny's cheek.

"How dare you say such things to a child," she hissed, her voice low and threatening, making everyone in the concourse grow suddenly silent and turn to look at her."If only I had my horse whip with me I could make you a tiny bit aware of the type of pain this poor child is suffering.She has every right to cry, it's natural and tears heal.They make us whole."

Tears poured down Dorothy's cheeks unheeded as she fixed the frightened woman with her mostfear-inspiring stare.To the overwhelmed caregiver she appeared as the goddess of vengeance, her eyes burning with sadness and hatred and framed by the window behind her, the smoke and fire mirroring the rage within her.

An expression of empathy and gentleness appeared on Dorothy's face giving it an aura of softness and tenderness that perhaps even Quatre had never seen before.She knelt next to the little girl and put her hand on her shoulder, encouraging her trust with eye contact.

"Please don't listen to her," Dorothy said, as she watched the little girl struggle to maintain her tearless state."An awful thing has happened.We are meant to feel sorrow, to share our feelings with others.I'm so sorry this happened to you little one.I'll help you; I'll see that that awful woman is replaced.We'll find someone to take care of you and your brother and sister."

A content feeling swept over Dorothy as the little one in her arms nestled closer and fell asleep.Despite the added weight and her ungainly position on the floor it was the most heavenly feeling.She turned her attention back to the older child as the intimidated nanny watched them in terror.She was going to lose her job, she recognized this woman.She was powerful; she was someone to be feared.Why was she wasting her time on that ungrateful child?

"Are you an angel, Miss," the girl asked, staring at Dorothy's long pale hair.Dorothy's lips twitched."No, no I certainly am not," she said."But I know how you feel.Someone once said such awful things to me when my own father died.But those words were so wrong.I'm here with you and it's alright to cry, no one will dare to punish you if you do."

The girl's face fell and a strangled sob choked out of her small body.She clung to Dorothy almost knocking her over but she remained steady, crooning soft sounds of sympathy as the little girl's grief made itself known.

Quatre watched from the corridor, his face dark with smoke, dirt and what suspiciously looked like blood on his clothes.His expression revealing the pain in his heart from what he'd seen out there.He'd stopped to peek in on Dorothy before going to speak at a press conference.He hadn't known what he was going to say.What could anyone say?But the sight of her gave him strength and he knew the words would come.His wonderful Dorothy, he'd always known that the woman he saw on the concourse now was the real her.Something had finally released the gentle loving woman comforting those children, using her influence in this world for all the right reasons.His love had never been misplaced and seeing her like this now, he knew that it would only grow stronger as they spent the rest of their lives together.

*********

To his knowledge no one had ever loved him before Midii came into his life.Memories from the past played in his mind as he lay there in the starlight beside her, trying to sleep. 

Until he had found Midii everyone had always ignored him unless they wanted something from him.They hadn't even bothered to give him a name.But even during her strange moody flashes, the ones that made so much sense in hindsight, Midii had always been different.

Once she'd curled her hand into his as they drove through a dark tunnel cut through a mountain.He hadn't really known how to respond to that and as soon as they were on the other side she'd pulled her hand away.When he'd glanced at her, her face was flushing hotly and her were eyes glued to the floor of the truck.He remembered how the soft touch of her hand had burned in his for days afterward, the first affectionate touch he could remember.He could almost feel it now. 

He'd known well before the attack that there was some connection between Midii and the increased frequency of hits the Alliance made on their little group.But he hadn't told anyone about his suspicions,the urge to protect the girl he had found stronger than even his loyalty to the captain and the others and yet he'd been so hurt when the end finally came.His own guilt over keeping his suspicions to himself adding to the pain.

He raised himself up on one elbow to look down at her in the starlight.Peaceful and innocent as an angel as she slept.There were very few things that were predictable about Midii but he knew that she always slept like the dead after they made love. It was as if she spent all her energy in her passion, in her desperation to prove her feelings for him.She loved him with all her heart, he knew that, but he couldn't yet believe her love was a guarantee that she wouldn't betray him again.

He asked himself what he could have done to change the way things were now? They loved each other but could they ever be happy? Midii brought him love and the greatest happiness he'd ever known and yet she was also the cause of so much pain for himself and others.

Trowa lay back down, drawing her closer to him.His life had never been easy and even now that he had found his soul mate their relationship was tarnished by fear and doubt.

As soon as it was morning they would go away from it all.He would fix up the little house in Provence where she was so happy, make it beautiful again just for her.They'd always planned to go back there someday, at least to visit.Midii had painted so many pictures of life there for him that he thought of it as home as much as she did.He could imagine what it would be like to follow her into a field of lavender, the sun shining through her thin cotton dress making it almost transparent the light glinting off her hair.The spicy sweet smell that was Midii all around them.

Maybe there, away from all the rest of the world they would finally be happy.He could keep her safe there from everything that tried to take her away from him.Alone together, away from the demands and temptations of real life.

*******

Midii's back felt cold and she felt goosebumps rise on her skin in the unnaturally cool temperatures of the air-conditioned hotel room. She flipped over on her back, eyes still closed and a small frown marring the peaceful look on her face.You'd think with all the technological advances in the modern world they could figure out a way to regulate temperatures in hotel rooms, she thought sleepily her mind wandering aimlessly over mundane thoughts.It seemed like it was always much too cold or else stifling and airless. The walls were thin too; she could hear conversation from the other side of the door as if strangers were right in the room with her and Trowa.

"Hmm, Trowa," she muttered, half-opening her eyes, her hand moving over the cool sheet beside her.

He sat down beside her, taking her hand in his."I'm here," he said.She pulled his handagainst her cheek and rubbed against it as if she were an affectionate kitten.He continued staring at the carpet despite the feelings that swept over him at her touch.So much had changed between dark and dawn.His heart was divided.

The voices in the hall continued, the shocked tones making them seem louder.Midii caught snatches of words.Explosion.Disaster.L4.Winner.Lucky.Horrible.

Trowa still wasn't saying anything, but his fingers moved softly and absently over the smooth roundness of her cheek.Despite the reassurance of his nearness Midii felt a sense of dread and the words nagged at her.Something was wrong.

She sat up and curled herself against the warmth of Trowa's naked back.She closed her eyes and drew in her breath, inhaling his fragrance, their fragrances combined from their closeness the night before.The heat of his skin like a furnace against her icy fingers.

And she knew immediately what he was thinking, what was bothering him. She knew he wanted to back to Brussels.Trowa wanted her to release him from his promise to take her away.But he wouldn't take her back there if she held him to their plan.He would never break his word to her.Her fingers moved over his skin as she thought, thought what to do.

"The rich always have the luck," a voice from the hallway insisted."Bet Winner was counting his money or something.So he misses the shuttle and lives while the rest of those poor saps are nothing but piles ofdust."

It had started then, she realized suddenly, wincing as if she'd been physically struck.She didn't want to go back to it all, but Trowa did.He needed to go and so did she.He wanted to see Quatre, she knew the feeling.Wanted to talk to him and grasp his hand, make sure he was still real.A cold chill, not entirely from the temperature of the room, shook her body.

"Midii? Are you alright," Trowa asked, feeling her shudder, trying to hide the choke in his voice.

He felt a small nod of assent from behind him, her hair brushing softly against his shoulder as she moved.

"We should get going.We need to get back to Brussels immediately," she said tentatively, hoping these were the words he wanted to hear, at the same time part of her praying that he would insist they go to Provence instead as they had planned.

She felt the tension release from his body as he turned to pull her into his lap.Trowa buried his face in her neck. 

"I love you Midii.How I love you," he whispered over and over, but she shivered again.

"You're so cold," he said, looking at her with concern shining in his green eyes.She had said what he needed to hear; she hadn't let him break his promise.He yanked the blanket off the bed and wrapped her in it. He held her like a little child, rocking her gently in his arms.Just a few minutes more, he thought, a few minutes more to be like this with her.

Before it starts again, they both thought.

*******

Brussels was a city that prided itself on its preservation of the past.It was almost rather sinister, Quatre thought, and hearkened back to the way OZ had run things.The regal old buildings were beautiful of course and his artistic mind appreciated the subtleties of the architecture.Still, he wondered if such a place should be symbolic of the new world that had been created through the efforts of Miss Relena, himself and the other pilots and all the other soldiers who had fought and even died for whatever cause.He could feel the pervading sense that something was deeply wrong here and it was only aggravated by the little Sally and Wufei had to go on.

He ran his fingers through his thick platinum hair, closing his eyes briefly before he turned from the window.The others were all here in this room, all but Trowa and Midii.Everyone was hoping that they'd show up soon. Quatre wasn't sure he shared that hope, although he definitely wanted everyone he loved around him after that near-disaster.His eye fell on Dorothy; she was in a heated discussion with Relena over the plight of the orphans of the shuttle disaster.She was so glorious in battle, even on Libra a tiny part of him had to admire her even as his heart ached for her sadness.

He wondered if the others realized that the changes they had gone through since the Eve Wars was going to make it so much more difficult to fight.Not a one of them, except perhaps Wufei (and even he was suspect) was a detached, single-minded soldier anymore.They were finding their happiness, ready to start their own lives but the call of duty was so strong that they could not help but answer even now.In a way he hoped Trowa at least might fight it off and keep Midii far away from the pain this would surely cause her.

********

A taxi sat parked in front of the hotel where the Preventers were gathered.After several minutes the door finally opened and a pair of slender legs appeared as a girl stepped out hesitantly, pausing briefly to glance wistfully back into the car at the passenger that remained inside.Midii took a deep breath and tugged impatiently at the scarf that hid her mass of strawberry blonde waves.She carefully removed her sunglasses and tilted her head to stare at the cold facade of the building that held their future inside of it.Once she stepped through those doors there would be no turning back.

"I don't think I'm strong enough to pull this off," she thought, a rush of fear and nervousness assaulting her senses like a blow to the stomach.She whirled, a look of desperation on her face as she heard the taxi pull away from the curb.

The taxi peeled off down the reproduction cobblestone street and an expression of intense longing and something like regret appeared on her face as the doorman's eyes widened in surprise at the sight of her.His voice pulled her back to her duty.

"Mademoiselle Doce," he exclaimed as he opened the door for her."We were quite concerned about you.There have been so many inquiries . . . "

"As you see I have returned," she said, flashing a hint of a smile that did not reach her brilliant blue eyes as she automatically assumed the identity of the woman she would need to remain, at least for the time being.

She looked so fragile and alone, dwarfed by the imposing buildings.It's only for a few minutes, he thought as her figure grew smaller still, framed in the back window of the taxi. 

"When you left her behind you never looked back," a voice inside whispered, haunting him and conjuring images of her tear-streaked little girl's face, as he continued looking until the car turned a corner and she was out of sight. 

But he knew that wasn't what was bothering him at all.They hadn't discussed it on the way back to Brussels but she had automatically resumed her charade as soon as she stepped out of the taxi. And he had known that she would.Just in case the others needed her to play her role a little longer.

He'd only been fooling himself, thinking he could keep her from being involved.In a world without weapons she was their best chance, his soldier's mind had analyzed every choice and every time it came down to Midii.She was going to have to finish what she had started. There was no way around it at the moment but as soon as possible he was going to insist she drop out of sight and until then he would watch her every minute.

"This is far enough," he said, paying the driver and stepping out onto the curb.He took a circuitous route back to the hotel and entered the building unseen through an open service door in the alleyway entrance.His eyes swept the lobby and he saw her step into the elevator, she glanced over her shoulder and their eyes met as the doors began to close and cut them off from each other.Trowa glanced around and seeing that the place was nearly deserted he sped up and darted into the lift, cutting it close enough to almost catch a sleeve in the door.

As the elevator rose their fingers brushed each other and his hand captured hers.

********

Sitting in this formal room with its tall windows and long conference table was making Duo nervous.They weren't doing a damn thing but waiting around.Heero and Quatre were hoping to gather some clues at that stuffy reception they were going to that evening and that was about the extent of their plans.

Lady Une and Sally Po insisted they needed to keep what they knew so far quiet until they could find out exactly which members of the new government were involved in the plot.Without hard proof and only Midii's rather dubious word as evidence they had nothing to go on.Wufei could only back up that he'd seen her and that big shot muckety-muck Ichiban having a drink and there was no crime in that.Damn.Meanwhile they sat around and waited for a bunch of terrorists to hand pick their next victims.

"Stop fidgeting Duo," Hilde hissed.His raw energy was making her nervous and all of them were on edge.

He rolled his eyes at his wife, drummed his fingers on the table.Finally, he stood up and stretched, the noise from his exaggerated yawn startling the rest of them.

"I don't know about you guys but I just can't sit here waiting for those two to show up," Duo complained, getting up and pacing

"Maybe it would be better if they didn't come back at all," Quatre said softly, wishing he'd left the words unspoken almost as soon as he'd said them.Everyone stared at him as if he'd suddenly grown a tail or something.

Sally glanced at Quatre from under her lashes.As usual he was thinking about the real people and the real mess a mission like this one could make of their lives.But she couldn't afford to think of those kinds of things.Not now, now with so much at stake.

Of course none of it would matter if Midii and Trowa did not come back.

She leaned her head in her hands and thought.They could arrest Ichiban but what good would that do?They had nothing to hold him on and Midii had said he was only one member of a larger group.The movement was spreading like a disease through the EarthSphere United Nation governing body.Economic tensions were threatening to do what Dekim Barton and his puppet Mariemaia could not, dissolve the hard-won peace.

A knock sounded on the conference room door but Sally didn't even look up.If it were another prank by the bored Duo she'd strangle the mischievous pilot with his chestnut braid.Heero had almost beaten her to it earlier when the last knock on the door had turned out to be a pizza delivery for one Duo Maxwell.

"They're here," Heero said, as all eyes turned toward the door.

"Welllll," Duo drawled, voicing the relief they all felt."So, you finally decided to join us. Our prodigal Preventers have finally returned!"

"Where have you two been," Hilde exclaimed.She'd scolded Duo for fidgeting but she'd been as nervous as he was."And Midii, oh my God, your hair!"

Midii winced but tried to hide her discomfort behind a mask of nonchalance as Trowa gave her a dirty look."It will grow back and the color is only temporary," she said.

"But you look so different," Hilde exclaimed, hugging her friend.

Sally approached."I hate to break this up girls," she said softly."Midii? First let me say I'm glad to see you're safe, but we all need to know if your cover is still intact.Can we still count on you tonight at that reception?"

Midii looked uncertain, she'd expected it of course, but it was all happening so fast.She looked to Trowa for reassurance but he had already moved away from her and was deep in conversation with the other pilots.

"I don't know," she whispered, shaking her head.

"We need more names," Sally insisted."I'm sorry, I truly am but there's no other way.Do they still trust you?"

Midii nodded slowly.

Sally hugged Midii."Good girl!Just this once.You can help us so much if you do this."

She examined Midii's appearance and smiled."Very different, but I like it. Change is good."

Midii nodded as Sally went over to her corner where her communications center was set up to tell Lady Une that their plan was back in motion.

In the room full of people Midii felt so alone, even Trowa had forgotten her for the moment talking to the other pilots, setting up contingencies.Sally's words echoed in her head, so much like Papa's when he'd sent her away.

"You're such a good girl Midii.You'll help me so much if you do this."

"Just this once."

She drifted over to the window, lifting a slender hand to trace her own reflection in the glass and something Ichiban had said a few days earlier surfaced in her mind.

"When this is over you can be yourself again," he'd said.

If she didn't lose everything that mattered to her first, she thought, glancing at Trowa.Think, plan, nothing can go wrong tonight, she whispered unconsciously forcing herself to concentrate.It would be so hard to face Ichiban again.She wondered if he'd noticed her absence and thought of the ring hidden in her purse.Can I really do this, she wondered.

She gasped and started as she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.Trowa?

"Are you sure you're comfortable with this," the familiar voice asked, concern evident in the tone."You seem nervous."

"Not at all," Midii said, pulling herself together and forcing a tremulous smile for Quatre."I'm sure I can pull this off with no trouble whatsoever."

He tried to glimpse the truth in her eyes but she looked away before he could get a clear reading.

"Look," she said, turning away and changing the subject."Isn't the sunset beautiful?"

Next time on The Price of Redemption . . . Eva sets her plan in motion at the diplomatic reception. . .Midii discovers a secret from her past.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Just an FYI, Chapter 6 was posted during the time when FF.net was not sending Author Alerts for new chapters, be sure to go back and read Chapter 6 first, if you haven't already. And please review!  
The Price of Redemption  
Chapter 7  
  
By Midii Une  
  
The reception at the elegant Palais d'Egmont was continuing as planned. Life  
must go on in spite of disasters and the event would serve as a sign to the  
people of the EarthSphere United Nation that all was well. The horrific explosion on L4 was only an isolated incident, at least that was the perception those in power wanted the people to have.  
  
Richard Ichiban sipped champagne from a crystal flute, his drinking companions  
all from the noblest families or those who held the highest offices in the new  
government. But although he hid it perfectly, he felt anxious. It seemed apparent now, as the hour neared 9, that Marguerite was not going to appear. He'd completely lost track of her after that morning in his townhouse when he'd given her the ring. The ring had contained a diamond worth a staggering amount of money. Probably she had taken it and fled the country. She wouldn't miss seeing it as an opportunity to support herself for quite awhile having made very little effort at all.  
  
What a fool he had been. He didn't understand her. His dream had been hers  
once upon a time. All they had ever wanted was to be at the top, to have the power so that no one could force them to do things they didn't want to anymore. And he was certain she still desired him physically, after all drugs only enhanced feelings that existed, allowing people to overcome their natural inhibitions. Why then was Marguerite behaving this way, he wondered, as he made small talk with his high-powered clique.   
  
A little buzz went through the crowd and his heart leapt as people parted and  
he saw her there at last, glancing up through her long black lashes at no less  
than the President himself, a soft flush of embarrassment on her cheek. He  
asked himself yet again as he gazed at her appreciatively, why the boy he had been had behaved like such a fool. He had hurt her, made her cry so that now she would not forgive him. Now she only allowed him the nearness required by the game she joined him in. Knowing her she had delayed her entrance on purpose to put him on edge.  
  
She was a vision of loveliness. The light from the crystal chandeliers reflected in the pearl gray dress she wore, Neo-Victorian in style like all the other women present. A thin black velvet ribbon hugged her throat and matched her skintight black opera gloves. When President Viertien raised her hand to his lips he saw the opulent ring he'd given her sparkling under the lights, the only jewelry she wore.   
  
"So you see here is your wayward fiancée Mademoiselle Doce," he heard Viertien say as he escorted Marguerite across the room to him. "Ichiban I'm surprised you would put this charming young lady in the awkward situation of having to search for you. But I must say I am pleased with your choice, just the type of young woman we want associated with the new government. Although there is no need for you to be so shy my dear."  
  
Marguerite flushed demurely and looked at the shining wood floor, tucking her  
hand lovingly into Richard's. She knew the blush was becoming and that her sweet gesture of greeting to her 'fiancée' would not go unnoticed.  
  
"Oh no," she protested. "It is such an honor to meet the President of the EarthSphere. I never dreamed . . . even though Richard told me he has had that pleasure. And I do apologize again for coming up to you like that, it was so forward of me. It was only that you looked so kind I was sure you wouldn't mind helping me locate my fiancée."  
  
The President studied Midii, a wistful look in his deep brown eyes. "Is that fragrance you're wearing called Mignonette? My mother always wore it, but all the young ladies favor such modern fragrances nowadays. However, Mignonette has always been my favorite."  
  
"I love it too. It's so soft and delicate," Midii agreed, smiling sweetly as  
Richard looked smug. She had done her research and gained the notice and  
approval of the top official in the EarthSphere within five minutes of entering  
the ballroom. The man had always brushed him aside as unimportant before this. But Marguerite had changed his attitude with a few shy looks and a little subtle flattery. When the time to make the changes they wanted official, Ichiban was confident that President Viertien would now stand on their side of the issue.   
  
********************************************************  
  
The crowded room was filled with the murmuring sound of voices and laughter,  
Occasionally punctuated by the sounds of vehement arguing in one corner or  
another. Whenever politicians met they found something to argue about it  
seemed and the topic du jour was of course the L4 shuttle disaster.  
  
"The world is still so small," Eva thought to herself, shrugging her  
curvaceous shoulders. "Such an insignificant disruption in the universe to  
cause such a stir here, so very far away."  
  
She moved through the crowd in a body-hugging black dress, her scandalously  
low décolletage catching nearly every male eye. She ignored the stares. When  
Eva Ketto settled herself on a mission she could be as single-minded as any  
operative and her target was set. A pleased smile curved her lips as she  
watched Midii play her role to perfection. If she didn't know better she'd  
swear the girl was head over heels for Ichiban. She stared at him adoringly  
as he talked to the President and she leaned against him and rubbed her cheek softly against the sleeve of his dinner jacket. The very image of love and  
devotion, no doubt bolstering Ichiban's image as a trusted member of the  
government. The perfect self-sacrificing official and his goody-goody little  
fiancée. They certainly put on a very good show. But was he here to witness  
it? It was imperative to her plan that he should be.   
  
Trowa. The name echoed in her mind as she herself would say it, the 'r'  
rolling on her tongue and the emphasis on the 'a' at the end. She was thinking  
so hard that when someone actually said the word she almost missed it. She  
heard it again, the speaker was Heero Yuy, the husband of the former Queen  
Relena. Marguerite had obviously patterned her behavior tonight on that of the  
insipid young royal and the old diplomats were eating it up like starving men. But  
that was not the game Eva preferred to play. She had her own weapons and her own attractions.  
  
"Make them love you Marguerite," she thought. "The harder you try the easier  
it will be for me to convince him what a liar you really are. And he will hate  
you for it."  
  
Then Yuy walked away, his arm around his wife's porcelain-pale shoulders.   
What did they see in these vapid doll-like creatures, Eva thought, smoothing  
her own hands over her voluptuous curves. And as the couple moved out of her line of vision she finally saw him, Trowa.  
  
She bit her lip softly, making the soft flesh redden, as she studied the man  
in the leather Preventers jacket. He was all business, his eyes alert as he  
scanned the crowd unobtrusively. She noticed immediately that his gaze more often than not focussed on Marguerite and it was apparent that he  
was trying to hide his unhappiness with her convincing performance.   
  
She sighed as she circled Trowa nonchalantly, pausing frequently to make small  
talk or accept a glass of champagne, but her eyes always on him. The sensual lines of his handsome face and what she could see of the body beneath the jacket fulfilled the promise of the voice she had heard on her listening device. The voice that had filtered into her dreams. His personality perplexed her though, he would be hard to get to. The quiet ones were always difficult. But once you got under their skin they had the worst time getting the poison out of their systems. Too much introspection wasn't good for the soul, Eva said to herself. You could release hidden pain that should have stayed buried. Her confidence returned, he would be perfect after all. She would light a fire under him that would destroy them all.  
  
*********************************  
  
Midii didn't dare peek over at Trowa, she'd be sure to lose her concentration,  
forget the things she'd studied about all the players Ichiban wanted her to  
impress. The President was already well in hand, a smile and a splash of his  
mother's favorite fragrance had been all it took. She didn't believe he was in  
on the scheme, however, and her instincts were usually correct. Other than  
that she couldn't be sure . . .   
  
"Ma chere Marguerite," Ichiban whispered, raising her black-gloved hand to his  
lips, his thumb caressing the conspicuous ring he'd given her. Midii came to  
full attention, putting her double duties of charming Richard's superiors and keeping tabs on exactly who he talked to on the back burner and noticing suddenly that they were now alone in a relatively quiet corner of the room. Now it was time to convince Richard to trust in her fully, that it was safe to bring her in on all the details. She had to make him believe that his chivalrous behavior the other day had won back her love, if what had been between them had ever been love. At least on her part it had been but a mixture of infatuation, need and hopelessness that her life would ever, could ever, be different.   
  
Think of Trowa, she told herself, and immediately her eyes grew soft and a wistful smile appeared on her face. Richard's breath caught, even years ago when she had cared for him, given herself to him, she had never looked at him like that. Now her heart was in her eyes and he felt loved and adored. It was a heady feeling. Had she forgiven him at last?   
  
"Have you finished thinking about what I said? Are you ready to be my partner  
in this and everything," he asked, his mouth close to her ear, his breath warm  
on her cheek.  
  
"Yes, Richard. The answer is yes," she said, holding his eyes with hers and  
lifting her hand to brush her fingertips over his cheek softly. He pulled her  
close in a passionate embrace not quite proper for such a public setting.   
Midii hoped it was crowded enough that her allies, one in particular, were not  
getting a clear picture of what she was doing at the moment.  
  
Eva moved closer to Trowa, close enough to touch him. He didn't notice her presence. His eyes were glued to Midii. Ichiban's hands were all over her, he wanted to drag the bastard outside and teach him some manners. But Midii didn't seem to mind his touch, not at all. The look in her eyes that he had thought she reserved only for him was currently focused on the mastermind behind the recent disaster. Hundreds of innocent people dead at his order and she was letting him touch her, encouraging him with her smiles and those soft little kisses. The very ones that drove him crazy when they were alone together in the dark. He had watched her all evening and she hadn't glanced at him once, she acted as if he didn't exist.  
  
She's playing a part, the voice of reason inside him protested, if she doesn't convince him to trust her we can't stop him. He'd done it himself often enough and nearly as well as she did. The OZ soldier, the loyal champion of the Barton Foundation, Trowa had portrayed them both. But, does she have to play it so well, another part of him wondered. Seeds of doubt began to sprout in his heart. She can play the game so well, perhaps she's only playing one with you.  
  
Trowa turned away from the disturbing scene and found himself looking instead into a pair of gleaming black eyes. The eyes reminded him of something but he couldn't place it immediately. After a second he realized they were like those of the wild animals at the circus. The look in those eyes was the same one the animals wore at feeding time. Voracious and utterly single-minded.  
  
The woman leaned back against a pillar, stretching voluptuously and drawing his attention to the ample cleavage left visible by the low neckline of her dress. She was beautiful in a dark and sultry way. She was like the gypsy fortunetellers that Cathrine liked to have coffee with after performances. Exotic, mysterious and more than a little shady.  
  
"I have a deal for you," she purred, laying a hand on his arm and moving her fingers caressingly. "The people responsible for the little accident on L4 are here tonight. I can tell you where they will strike again. It will be soon, if you do not stop them."  
  
"Who are you," Trowa asked frowning, glancing back at Midii before turning his attention toward the dark-haired woman.  
  
"All will be revealed in time," she murmured huskily, reminding him even more of Cathrine's friends. "But know this, I want to help you. The things they are plotting sicken me and I have other reasons as well. Those two must be stopped."  
  
"Who," Trowa prompted. "I need names."  
  
"It's been their goal for years," Eva whispered. "We all worked together for the former Alliance. But that was never good enough for the two of them. They always wanted more. More power, more money and now they are so close to their victory I don't even know if they can be stopped. It will be difficult, they are the best and they have been planning this for years. He's been infiltrating the upper levels of the government while his partner has been worming her way into the very heart of your Preventer organization. He has even told me she's gone so far as to become the lover of a Gundam pilot. He loves her himself but he's proud enough of her talents to boast of her conquests."  
  
Trowa turned away from her and saw Midii laughing, looking happier than he'd ever seen her. The huge diamond sparkled on her finger and she sipped her champagne with the air of a gracious princess who knew that the world was her oyster. A sickening feeling of suspicion overwhelmed him and a horrible premonition about what the woman next to him was going to reveal with her next words.  
  
He felt a gloved hand slide over his shoulder and warm breath on the back of his neck as her satin-clad fingers played with his collar.  
  
"There they are. Do you see them, those two in the corner," she whispered, her tone cold and vicious. "Richard Ichiban and Midii Une."  
  
****************************************  
  
The security camera made a slight whirring sound as it circled the room and focused itself on the target.  
  
"This is better than the soaps," Duo crowed. "Remind me to thank the Big Guy later that you're not an undercover agent, Hilde."  
  
"Do you think she's okay, Duo," Hilde asked, her eyes widening a bit at her friend's convincing performance over in the corner. Midii loved Trowa, didn't she? That was something they'd all been sure of, but now it seemed possible that she'd duped them all. She was a different person tonight and that was for sure. Someone Hilde didn't know. She leaned back against the leather seat of the van they had parked outside the Palais and folded her arms, sighing.   
  
"Aahh, don't worry baby. Trouble's still on our side. She's gotta play the part well enough to convince the enemy, that's all it is," Duo said reassuringly. The guy she was with was buying her act, hook, line and sinker that was for sure.   
  
"Check out the goofy look on that guy's face," Duo said, pointing at Ichiban and doubling over in laughter. "Come on Hilde, enjoy, this is too rich!"  
  
"We should keep scanning the room Duo," Hilde scolded. "There may be other things going on that we need to catch."  
  
"Right, right," Duo said, casting a last regretful look as Midii deftly removed Ichiban's hand from the front of her dress and he could only guess that she was holding him off with promises of "later, darling." The sound they were picking up was limited to music and crowd noise.  
  
The camera moved again, this time catching the newlyweds in it's sights. Hilde huffed as she watched Heero and Relena circling the floor as a waltz played in the background. Why had Duo insisted on the two of them being stuck out here in the surveillance vehicle?   
  
"Why couldn't we have gone to the party too Duo," she muttered. "We could be dancing just like that!"  
  
Duo looked at Heero and Relena.  
  
"Us? Like that? Please Hilde. If you're bored or something we can have our own romantic moment out here," Duo said.  
  
"Really," Hilde said, her eyes sparkling as she wondered what Duo had in mind. Perhaps he had snuck in some champagne or chocolate covered strawberries to help the time pass more pleasurably.  
  
"Here we go," he said, pulling a pack of cards from his jacket pocket and shuffling them as an evil grin lit his face.  
  
"How about a nice little game of poker. Strip poker," Duo said, his eyes locking onto his wife's.  
  
"You're on," Hilde said, her eyes reflecting the wicked gleam in Duo's. He was right, neither of them was the moonlight and roses type. This was much more their style.  
  
She leaned in and kissed him teasingly, her teeth catching on his lower lip. She felt his smile beneath her lips as he pulled her closer, his hands rising up from the curve of her waist to start on the buttons of her official Preventer uniform blouse.  
  
Hilde pulled away and flashed a mischievous grin at Duo. "No, no. If you want it off you've got to win first. So go ahead and deal," she said, sitting back and folding her arms protectively over her chest.  
  
"You asked for it baby. No one defeats Shinigami. Especially not at this game," Duo said, accepting her challenge.  
  
**************************************************  
  
Back on the dance floor Relena was in her own heaven. She hadn't said anything at the time of their wedding but she had always dreamed of something big and traditional. But having Heero as her husband was much more important than the type of ceremony. Still, being in this beautiful room with its ivory walls and golden trim was like being in a palace from a fairy tale.  
  
Light from the crystal chandeliers sparkled overhead and Heero looked like a dream in the tuxedo he wore. Relena smiled and tilted her head back a little, closing her eyes as he expertly twirled her in time to the music. He was perfect at everything it seemed, dancing included.  
  
She looked so peaceful and happy and almost like a bride in the elegant white dress she wore tonight, Heero thought. Strange how in the midst of it all they could feel like this, feel like they were alone in this room together. His hand moved caressingly over the smooth fabric stretched tight across her waist and she opened her eyes to gaze into his lovingly. When the music stopped it would be back to business. All of them were spies now in a way, and all of them would have to get involved, Heero thought, Relena included. She had been acquainted with Ichiban after all.  
  
As the music wound to a conclusion he scanned the room, placing everyone he knew. Quatre and Dorothy were surrounded, as they had been all night, by the curious who wanted to hear the tale of how they had survived the disaster. Over in a corner a dark-haired woman was doing her best to distract Trowa from his duty. He himself had been against Trowa being here tonight, although he understood his desire to stay near Midii. In the same situation nothing would have kept him from Relena's side. Trowa was connected via headset to Duo and Hilde outside in surveillance vehicle. No one questioned his presence there. It was expected that there would be increased security in light of the recent incident. Duo also had constant voice contact with Wufei and Sally who were covering the exits. Everything was covered to the Perfect Soldier's satisfaction.  
  
Still, Heero found it difficult to keep cool as he and Relena eventually got around to mingling with Ichiban and Midii. In a disturbing way the other man was very like himself. Of course Ichiban was taller and more European in his looks. Then there were the eyes, a unique green-flecked gold that held a foreboding quality. Heero had to admit, however, that if he didn't know in advance that the man was an enemy he would have met him there, let him dance with his wife and never been the wiser.  
  
Relena played her part well, Midii noticed, circling the floor and smiling politely at her old acquaintance as they danced. She herself had refused Heero's proper reciprocal invitation, claiming to be tired. She played her own role perfectly, pretending to be uncomfortable around him and meeting his gaze only infrequently. Neither of them had yet forgotten their confrontations a few months back. As she glanced at Heero Yuy, Midii was still unable to forget the vision of him pointing a gun at her on that busy street on Quatre's home colony. He could so easily have killed her then. It was hard not to feel uneasy around him.  
  
She had fawned over Relena, however, her reaction to meeting the former Queen a perfectly on-target impersonation of Relena's former schoolmates. She'd even claimed to be a graduate of St. Raphael's, the French counterpart of the school Relena had attended for a time, St. Gabriel's.   
  
"Congratulations on your recent marriage, Madame Yuy," Ichiban said, as he danced with Relena. "I would say the news broke my heart if I hadn't only recently found my beloved Marguerite."  
  
"I'm very happy for you," Relena said, easily falling back on the polite small talk she was used to making as Vice Foreign Minister. "She and I seem to have a lot in common. If she's looking for a friend I'd be happy to go to lunch with her some time. We can discuss old school days."  
  
It was actually quite hard to believe that Richard was anything but the young government official, dedicated to his job and his fiancée, Relena thought. Still, the footage she had seen of the explosion haunted her as did Dorothy's impassioned speeches about the plight of the poor children left without parents by the disaster. Richard was responsible for all that pain and the threat to peace.  
  
Suddenly Relena couldn't wait for the music to stop. She wanted nothing more desperately than to hurry to the ladies' room and wash her hands.  
  
  
  
  
"Come with me," Ichiban whispered, after Heero and Relena had gone off to talk to other people.  
  
Midii's eyes narrowed minutely, was this it at last? Would he reveal everything to her now? She nodded and tucked her hand into his, squeezing his fingers softly.  
  
They left the main room and entered a dark hallway. She swallowed nervously and she stifled the urge to look over her shoulder, the urge to pull away and run. In an instant her fears seemed well-founded, Ichiban shoved her against the wall, pinning her against the dark, smooth wood with his body. She struggled to maintain her confidence but her heart thumped fearfully.  
  
"Remember the price of a lie Marguerite," he hissed warningly in her ear. "There is no turning back."  
  
"It is no lie that this is what I've always wanted," she said. "You've known that always Richard, as long as you've known me. Are you saying that our partnership, this ring you've given me is a lie? If you don't trust me then you can't possibly love me and I've been a fool for you again."  
  
She held her breath as she felt him press her closer to the wall, feeling the tension in his body as he considered her words. The bruising touch of his fingers replaced by the moist caress of his lips on her bare shoulder, making her shudder with sudden revulsion she couldn't repress. Luckily he mistook it for desire.  
  
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I do love you Deejii-chan. I just had to be sure of your sincerity. Forgive me."  
  
He loosened his grip and she turned her face from the wall and straightened her rumpled gown. "Of course," she said, looking unblinkingly into his eyes. "You are right to be cautious, that's what makes you so worthy of my undying affection and utter loyalty, mon amour."  
  
"Come, then," he said opening the door and pulling her inside the smoky chamber.   
  
Midii instantly scanned the faces, later she would match them with names on the Preventer database but for the moment she would have to burn them on her memory. The minister of the economy was one she already recognized, having met him earlier in the evening.  
  
"It's almost over," she thought to herself, forcing a cool smile as one of the men at the table captured her eyes with his then blew out a puff of cigar smoke thoughtfully.  
  
"Who the hell's the girl Ichiban," the belligerent man said. "There's no need for you to use your devious tactics on those of us here."  
  
"Mademoiselle Doce is a full partner with me on this," Ichiban said, glaring at the speaker. He lifted her fingers to his lips. "She has my unconditional trust."  
  
Midii beamed at him appreciatively. She was nearly positive she had convinced him of her sincerity. Her success was almost a certainty. This was the inner circle then, these were the men behind the scheme. Once she'd identified them and gotten a few more details this sordid masquerade could end.  
  
As the two men continued to stare at each other, Ichiban bent toward Midii. "Please step outside my love, it seems I need to convince the others that you are truly one of us."  
  
"Of course, Richard," she said obediently.  
  
"Gentlemen," she said softly, her eyes darting around at them once again, remembering the faces. She executed a mocking curtsy and smirked at the one who doubted her and made her exit, creeping back silently to press herself against the door and listen through the keyhole.  
  
"Tell us Richard. Who exactly is this Doce woman?"  
  
The voice of the doubter.  
  
"Perhaps you have heard of Midii Une," Richard replied. "A very reputable member of the Alliance espionage team. Marguerite Doce is but one her aliases. I have worked with her for years, her reputation and record are both impeccable."  
  
"Une. Of course," the voice said. "I recognized that face, just like her mother's. And just as good an actress no doubt."  
  
"Mother," Midii thought, startled, as she pressed closer to the door, anxious to hear anything about the mother she had lost when she was so young.  
  
She heard the sound of harsh laughter.   
  
"Does she have her mother's flaws as well as her looks, Richard," the voice asked jovially, making Midii feel queasy. She didn't want to listen anymore. He knew things about her she didn't know herself.  
  
"The lovely Marie would do anything for those she loved. She left a very successful acting career behind for that loser Philippe Une. Then the man killed her with too many children in too short a time, and soothed his supposedly broken heart by taking up gambling. Put the daughter to work as soon as she was old enough to support his habit. She did a damn good job too, so I hear. Your Miss Une is the perfect blend of the aristocrat and the actress and willing to do anything for her beloved Papa and brothers or whoever else she decides to give her heart to. Too bad for the girl Philippe never gave a damn about anyone but himself."  
  
"If she loves you Richard you've got quite a find. Dumb devotion is in her blood," the voice continued, and Midii heard more laughter but it was far away, as her ears rang with what she had overheard.  
  
If it was true, then everything she'd ever done had been a lie. Had her father never been ill at all, as he had told her? She forgot everything else, her mind fading back to the day with Trowa on the battlefield. She remembered defending herself to him as the body of the dead Captain who'd been so kind to them both lay between them. But her defense had been lies, nothing but lies. Her whole life had been nothing but a lie. She had betrayed him and so many others all so a foolish man could support his addiction.  
  
Her father had never loved her, he had trapped her in this horrible life and gone on with his own without a care in the world. She felt like she couldn't breathe and the dress she wore felt so tight that she couldn't get any air to her lungs.  
  
"If only I can get outside," she thought, forgetting Richard, forgetting the mission in her misery.  
  
"Shit," Duo said, peering over Hilde's shoulder as she nuzzled his neck and started removing the tie he'd lost in their game of poker. "What the hell happened?"  
  
Hilde turned toward the screen too and they saw Midii stagger into the ballroom, even on the poor-quality videotape it was obvious that something was very wrong.  
  
"Trowa," Duo hissed urgently into his friend's headset. "Something's gone wrong. I don't know what. The doorway . . ."  
  
Trowa turned, the anger and doubts planted by Eva forgotten momentarily. Midii stood trembling in the doorway, she looked like she couldn't breathe, her skin a horrible shade of gray-green. He started shoving people out of the way and leaped over a table in a stunning, acrobatic maneuver, disregarding the murmurs and stares as she started to crumple as if she'd been shot.  
  
Next time on The Price of Redemption . . . sorry, no hints this time! 


	8. Chapter 8

The Price of Redemption

by Midii Une

Chapter 8

It's amazing

how you make your face just like a wall

how you take your heart and turn it off

how I turn my head and lose it all

--Rob Thomas "Leave" (c) 2000 EMI Blackwood Music, Inc/Bidnis, Inc.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ichiban clenched his fists in anger and soothed himself with satisfying thoughts of future revenge although his face remained a mask of cordiality.The gruff old cabinet member had gone too far with his comments about Midii's past.And to make things worse Richard was absolutely positive she was listening on the other side of that door.

Everyone who knew her realized just what it meant to her that what she did, she did for her family. Even as the rest of them knew just what her father was; an undeserving son of a bitch.But Midii had desperately needed something to hold on to, some excuse to justify her actions and so no one had ever told her, just let her keep believing. 

"I'll kill anyone who breathes a word," Stefan had said, fixing the rest of them with an icy glare his friends rarely saw.

"She'd just crumble," he'd added softly turning away once his warning had been given.The two of them had always been like antagonistic siblings, Ichiban thought.It had been no surprise at all that Niente had ended up dying for her.Stefan could insult and tease Midii as much as he liked but he'd never let anyone else hurt her.

And now this pompous idiot had probably broken her heart with his careless words.Ichiban strained to hear what was going on outside the door, but he detected nothing from the hallway.

And though his smile never faded he promised himself that when he and Midii came to power the first one on the execution list would be the obnoxious Mr. Cigar Smoke himself.Once the seat of power shifted these aristocratic windbags would find the tables turned.He would no longer need them on his side and thus they would become disposable.Still no matter how he tried to ignore it and concentrate on the plans for their next move the continued silence from the other side of the door grew too worrisome and Ichiban excused himself suddenly.He was certain that his Deejii-chan needed him desperately.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Trowa carefully scooped Midii's limp form off the floor, his eyes flicking over her intently for signs of injury.There was nothing visible but her face was white and bloodless and her breathing was shallow.A small, curious crowd gathered and Relena knelt next to him.

"What's wrong," she whispered, concern etched on her face as she drew a cold, wet handkerchief over Midii's forehead.The coldness made her shiver and her lids started to flutter, to Trowa's immense relief.He hugged her close, the delicate smell of lily of the valley surrounding him.As he buried his face in the curve of her neck he noticed faint lavender bruises on her shoulder and his eyes narrowed.What had Ichiban done to her?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Eva hovered on the fringe of the crowd, trying to control her rage at being thwarted.She was finding it difficult not to go over and strangle Marguerite.Damn her simpering, ladylike ways.Trust her to pull a trick like this just when she was making headway with the delicious Preventer.She had some sort of sixth sense it seemed that would be tough to beat.Her frown disappeared and Eva's forehead smoothed instantly when she spied Ichiban pushing his way impatiently to the center of the small group that had gathered around poor Marguerite.It seemed Mademoiselle Doce wasn't the only one with a sixth sense, Eva thought.An amused smile twitched her lips as she edged herself closer in anticipation of the entertainment to come.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ichiban's eyes acquired a ferocious gleam as he observed the situation.

"What the hell are you doing to my fiancée," he hissed quietly, pushing through the crowd, his usual cultivated facade forgotten in an instant, as he knelt on the floor opposite Trowa.The rough, challenging tone of his voice started a murmur through the crowd like a pebble in a tranquil lake.Even aristocrats it seemed anticipated a good fight when they saw one coming.

Trowa's eyes hardened and his fingers itched for his gun, how easy it would be.He longed for the days of the war for the first time since he had detonated HeavyArms.To destroy those who deserved it without second thought.This man had hurt Midii and one way or another Trowa vowed he was going to kill him.

His fingers trailed softly over the bruises on her shoulder as he held Ichiban's eyes and he responded bitingly.

"What did--

"Richard," Relena interrupted hastily, using Trowa's shoulder to pull herself upright and placing a gentle, restraining hand on Ichiban's arm."It's not what it seems.You should thank this officer.He must have noticed that Mademoiselle Doce was overcome by the heat and came to her aid.I understand this must be upsetting.But I'm positive she'll be fine, I'm feeling a bit light-headed myself in here from the temperature and all this dancing."

Richard swallowed his anger and nodded.It wouldn't do at all to lose his temper in front of a Preventer officer and they certainly mustn't suspect Marguerite.Luckily her disguise seemed to be keeping them from realizing she was on their most wanted list.

"Of course it must be as you say, Madame Yuy," he said, lifting her gloved fingers to his lips for a respectful kiss."You must understand that I get a bit carried away when it comes to my Deejii-chan.But you are ever the peacemaker and I will abide by your wishes in this. The worry made me lose my temper as I'm sure your husband would understand."

His eyes met Heero's and the other man returned his look unblinkingly.

"Of course I understand," he agreed, but his tone was flat.

Midii kept her eyes shut, trying to think as her mind reeled from the devastating revelation about her father's betrayal.However, the instincts that seemed to come so naturally to her worked automatically and helped her steel herself from hiding her face in Trowa's jacket and begging him to take her out of there.

Finally she groaned a little and hesitantly opened her eyes.She let her gaze meet Trowa's first for a brief instant, reassuringly she hoped, before turning her head to search for Richard and struggling to stand up.

"Richard," she asked groggily."What happened?"

"Don't try to stand, cherie," he said, leaning over and pulling her out of Trowa's grip, his look smug as her arms went around his neck in a desperate embrace."You fainted."

Midii raised her face from Richard's shoulder and her eyes met Eva's black ones.

"I brought you a glass of brandy," she said, false concern oozing in her voice."They say it helps."

Midii let out a strangled gasp as the other woman held the glass out to her. The black eyes bored into hers with unspoken malice.Midii struck out wildly, knocking away the glass containing the gleaming amber liquid and the heavy crystal shattered in sparkling bits on the polished wood floor.

Overwhelmed she broke into tears.

"Richard please take me home," she begged."Please.I want to leave."

Eva stared at Trowa knowingly over Midii's head as if to say, "I told you so."

He turned on his heel grimly and stalked out of the room.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Not for the first time that evening Richard Ichiban damned the gossipy old cabinet member.He leaned against the slick black exterior of his limousine and looked up at the window of her hotel room, her figure was silhouetted against the curtain for an instant, the vision of her filling him with longing, before the light flickered out and he was left staring at a dark window.

She had begged him to leave her alone.

"I need to come to terms with what my father has done," she'd whispered, her eyes shining with tears."Please understand.I don't even know who I am anymore."

He remembered the delicate texture of her skin as he stroked her cheek comfortingly.She was so frail, she needed to be protected.

"You're Midii Une," he said firmly, taking the opportunity to hold her close, savoring her nearness and the faint fragrance of her perfume."An excellent agent and the woman I love.Soon everyone will respect us and we will be on top of the world.You'll be happy then.We deserve to be happy."

"Perhaps," she had muttered noncommittally, her eyes studying the floor intently, as she moved out of his arms.He had finally given in to her pleas to be left alone.He was a gentleman, how could he do less?

Richard sighed and yanked open the car door.It was always something, never her fault of course.But when were they going to get a chance to get reacquainted with each other?He wanted her beside him all night and all day.

"We'll have the rest of our lives Richard," she'd whispered, a faint crooked smile on her lips as she kissed him goodnight.

"Home, Stevenson," he ordered his driver tiredly.

"No," a sultry voice whispered and the familiar touch of a feminine hand slid softly along the inside of his thigh."I think we should stay here Richard.Don't you think you should keep watch over Marguerite?Like a guardian angel?"

"Eva," he growled, snatching the offending satin-gloved hand and stopping it from further invasion of his personal space.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She sat in the sickly green glow of a laptop computer, her silk robe slipping unheeded over one shoulder and her head resting tiredly in her hand.She hadn't even heard him come in and he could watch her in the semi-darkness.He could move with stealth and silence, in that he was as practiced as she was.Now he could watch her and wonder.Wonder who she was and what she was really doing.He had to trust her on this, everyone else trusted her.He'd started to mention his doubts to Quatre after the reception but he had cut him off with reassuring words and when she heard the doubt in his voice Sally had come over and talked to him.

"I know her Trowa," she said soothingly."Over these months when we've been meeting I've really gotten to know who Midii is.She is with us on this 100 percent.I'm sure of it."

But he was the only one who really knew her.What if it happened again, he thought, the soft click of her fingers racing over the keyboard fading as his mind wandered back in time as she stared at her in the dim room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_"Can't you cry Nanashi," she'd asked curiously, her blue-gray eyes tried to pierce through to his soul and her little girl's tremulous voice was soft and questioning._

_ _

_He hadn't answered; he had merely torn his eyes from hers and looked at the ground as she filled his plate with stew._

_ _

_"You betrayed the ones who raised you," she persisted and there had been a strange tone in her voice that made him look at her again._

_ _

_He tried to look into her eyes.What did she care?What did she want?But her eyes, usually so open and innocent had a closed-off look in them and she gazed back at him nervously as he stared at her, a little, lop-sided smile curving her lips half-heartedly._

_ _

_He'd shrugged, "I used up all my tears when I was a baby." But his mind had been racing.Something was wrong.The Alliance had been finding them more and more easily. It had been getting worse for months.More attacks, more battles, their comrades defecting as their defeat seemed more and more certain._

_ _

_All since Midii came. He looked over his shoulder at her and she was still smiling uncertainly at him, her hand clutched around her game necklace.A gesture she habitually turned to when upset or nervous._

_ _

_Certainty flashed through his brain._

_ _

_"So, it's that," he'd thought._

_ _

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He wanted nothing more than to go to her now.The girl who had always held this strange attraction for him.Push the robe further off her shoulder and worship her skin with his hands and lips, carry her to the bed and get rid of his doubts.She had to talk to him.She had to look him in the eye and tell him that she could be trusted.Those months ago in Provence she had been so right.

If he couldn't trust her they couldn't be together.No, his heart protested.Without her life wouldn't be worth living. He watched her reach shakily for a glass of some dark liquid and bolt down a gulp as she stared at the screen.Whiskey?He saw her shudder as the liquor hit her stomach and then she resumed typing.

Midii gazed at the screen, her eyes burning.She had truly meant to begin her work of matching the faces she'd seen in that conference room, but first she had to know.She'd had to find out.

The words wavered in front of her.They'd said he died of his illness.

They had lied.

The words told her the truth.She wondered why she had never bothered to doubt before.Had a part of her known what she would find?

Philippe Une, age 42, killed in a street fight.September 10, AC 194.Monte Carlo.

Monte Carlo.The gambler's haven.

She gasped and brought her trembling hand to her mouth.

"Midii" Trowa said softly and he watched as her shoulders tensed and she hastily slammed down the lid of her laptop."What are you doing?'

"Trowa!What are you doing here?How did you get in here," she asked, her chest moving up and down rapidly as if she were frightened, her eyes not meeting his.

He covered the space between them in a few steps, reaching out to turn on the lamp on the desk.

"What are you doing Midii," he asked, his voice harsher than he intended as he desperately wished for her to reassure him, to hear her say the right words.

His heart plummeted, as she raised her eyes to meet his then dropped them before they ever connected.She turned away, pulling at her robe till it covered her shoulder and wrapping her arms around herself.

"I was confirming the names of the men I saw in that room," she said slowly, her hands nervously rearranging the items on the desk as she continued to refuse to meet his eyes.

Trowa's throat felt tight and dry and his eyes burned.

"Who are they?What did you find," he asked.

"Nothing," she said quickly."Nothing yet.It'll take a bit longer."

She was lying.

Midii swallowed and turned away.She couldn't tell him about her father.What if he didn't understand?What if he hated her all over again for what she'd done so long ago?She glanced at him over her shoulder, then looked away again.What if he found out and he wouldn't forgive her?Her heart pounded nervously.

She stiffened when he put his hands on the soft material that covered her shoulders, then she relaxed, the familiar warmth of his touch comforting her as always and she leaned back against him, shutting her eyes.

"Oh Trowa," she murmured."Please hold me."

His arms wrapped around her willingly, tightening as she pressed herself against him.He buried his nose in her hair.She had taken a bath and smelled like lavender again, all the feelings of love and desire that they shared started to build in him, to replace Eva's ugly words.

This was Midii.They loved each other.She loved him.It was true.

"Look at me," he whispered gently, turning her face toward him carefully."What happened tonight?"

She looked at him but her eyes were shuttered, she smiled hesitantly, a crooked little twist of the lips, so unlike her usual bright smile.

"It was nothing.Only the heat like Relena said.I'm sorry I worried you," she whispered.Her soft cool hands caressed his face and she gazed at him pleadingly.

Believe me, her look said. But he knew she was lying.He couldn't shake it.

That smile, that smile so like before.Like the one from his memory.

And what would she say this time? What would she say when everyone he cared about was dead?

"I'm sorry," she whispered again, tiptoeing to plant soft kisses on his face.

This time he couldn't let Midii destroy the lives of the people he cared about.He disentangled himself from her embrace and pushed open the balcony doors stepping outside and looked at the stars.

After a time she came out and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her face against his back.

"Trowa," she ventured."What's wrong?"

"I-I can't stay," he said, pulling away again.He couldn't look at her hurt face, he couldn't let himself be tempted to hold her and believe that she could be trusted as the others did.He needed distance, he needed time to think.

He had been warned, he knew better.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Eva's sharp nails dug through the thin material of Ichiban's shirt and she struggled to control the triumphant smile that kept threatening to appear on her face.He'd been silent as they listened to Marguerite's conversation through the device she had planted, but she could feel the tension growing in his shoulders.And when the Preventer stepped out on her balcony only Eva's hand on his arm had kept him from bursting from the car gun in hand.

Of course moments after Midii predictably followed, rubbing herself against her lover in a provocative, kittenish way that sealed her fate with Ichiban.She was betraying him.She was sleeping with the enemy.

"It's him," Ichiban muttered, recognizing the form of the Preventer officer he'd confronted at the reception earlier.He didn't even feel the pain as blood oozed from the cuts caused by Eva's grip on his shoulder.

"Let go of me," he hissed."I promised I'd rip her heart out if she betrayed me and I intend to make good on that.Then we have to move on.Who knows what damage she's caused.I have to get it under control."

"Wait Richard," Eva said, her grip tightening as their eyes locked."I have been working on my own revenge.You are not the only one she has betrayed.She killed Stefan as well.I will not let her go unpunished for that."

"You see," she continued, gesturing eloquently at the balcony as Trowa left Midii alone, "he no longer trusts her either.We can use this situation to our advantage and bring the entire Preventer agency down.We'll place the blame for the next incident on their little operative.She'll be dead and they'll be discredited and we'll have everything just the way we planned."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Excuse me," Trowa mumbled as he bumped into a figure in the lobby.He tried to forget the look on her face when he left.She had looked almost desperate.But until he was sure, he couldn't stay with her, no matter how much he wanted to.Everything was different this time.

He cared so much more for her now, the instinctive protective feelings he'd had for her as a child so much stronger, multiplied by a thousand it seemed.But the responsibility he had to others had grown just as much.These were people he couldn't let her betray, no matter what his personal feelings were.He'd willingly risk his own life to believe her.But not his friends' lives, not innocent bystanders.His heart felt like it had gone through the paper shredder in Heero's office.

And always nagging in the back of his mind."What if I'm wrong?Will she ever forgive me?"

"Barton," a familiar voice called and he felt a restraining hand on his shoulder."What's the matter with you?"

He thought he could detect a note of concern buried deep beneath the arrogant overtones of the voice.

Wufei would know.He could shed some light on the time they had spent here in Brussels before the rest of them had arrived.Maybe, Trowa thought, he could disprove the things the other woman had said about Midii.He had no real reason to believe her, except that she seemed to know so much about them.It had added a note of credulity to her story.

"Can we talk," he said, his voice unemotional.But Wufei raised a narrow eyebrow.There was emotion in those green eyes.They had never been close but it wasn't difficult to sense something was wrong.He cast his black eyes up at the ceiling.That woman.What had she done now, he wondered irritably.

"I could stand a cup of coffee," he said, by way of agreeing to a conversation.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I would have won you know.If we hadn't been interrupted," Duo said in the darkness as Hilde snuggled against his side making contented sounds.

"Mmmmhmmm, whatever Duo," she muttered, wanting only to sleep in the aftermath of their lovemaking."If it makes you happy to think so.After all it always ends up the same way, _both of us always lose all our clothes in the end."_

"Ah-ha!So you admit it, I would've won," he answered, his hand sleepily caressing her delicate shoulder.She could feel rather than see the triumphant grin on his face.Duo enjoyed victory and that was a fact.Even if it were only a strip poker game with his own wife.

"You're impossible, you know that," she said, but she emphasized her derisive words with a soft kiss that grazed his earlobe.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"You're thinking that she dishonored you," Wufei exclaimed, barely containing his outrage and keeping his voice at a normal volume.

"No," Trowa hissed."I don't think that.I just want to know everything that happened before I got here."

Wufei closed his eyes in thought, his face so still, for what seemed such a long period of time to his anxious friend that Trowa thought he'd fallen asleep.

"Wufei," he said, startled when the eyes popped open immediately as he reached out to shake him.

"What exactly do you want to know," the Chinese pilot asked testily.The suspicions he'd had early in the mission about Midii Une returning upon his careful thought.

"Well . . . was she ever alone with the enemy?Or were you always with her," Trowa said, his eyes on the floor.

"Of course I was with her," Wufei said defensively, not liking how Trowa seemed ready to blame him for any irregularities in her conduct."Except the first night."

Trowa raised a brow.This was like pulling teeth.

"Why not," he prodded.

"She tricked me and went off alone," Wufei said, a slight flush of embarrassmenttinting his face at the memory.

"How long was she gone," Trowa questioned.

"I don't know," Wufei admitted."I went out to look for her and when I got back here it was past 2 am and she was asleep.In your underwear."

It was Trowa's turn to flush, so that had been where his favorite boxers disappeared to, his face grew warm thinking how much better they looked on her than on him.

"You looked," he said, his voice loud enough to garner some odd glances from the rest of the early-morning crowd at the coffee bar.

"Oh please," Wufei said. "As if I'd be interested in a back-stabbing, dishonorable, skinny little—"

He stopped as Trowa's hand fisted in his shirt and his green eyes glowed with warning."Just go on, then what happened," Trowa said, releasing Wufei's shirt.

"By the next night she had everything under control and it looked like they had accepted her back easily enough.It was all smooth sailing until the afternoon she disappeared and that's where you came in," Wufei said.

"So what are you thinking," Wufei asked, after examining Trowa's faraway look for several seconds.

He was thinking that Wufei's story meshed with that of the woman's at the reception.Nothing he said could prove Midii's innocence, it only showed that she'd had plenty of opportunity to reacquaint herself with Ichiban that first night.Why hadn't she taken Wufei along, if her intentions had been good, Trowa wondered.

Next time on The Price of Redemption (this feature back by popular demand ^_~) . . . in Trowa's mind the evidence is stacked against Midii . . . Midii's distracted behavior works against her . . . Ichiban and Eva perfect their plan for revenge . . . Duo's priestly garb comes in handy. 


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Sorry for the delay, another difficult chapter to write, it's not easy to fool Trowa (whoops is that a spoiler ^_^;).As always I do not own Gundam Wing © Bandai, Sunrise, Sotsu Agency and Midii Une is a character from Mobile Suit Gundam Wing Episode Zero, Act 5, AC 190 . . . I couldn't resist this interesting and ironic tidbit I found doing background research on Belgium.I found this one long after choosing the title and theme for this sequel to Alone/Together.The Chapel of Our Lady of Redemption in the Cathedral of St. Michael in Brussels is a real place, you can just imagine how excited I was to spot that little tidbit ^_~Some of the descriptions are genuine from information in the tour book and the rest is imagination.__

_ _

_ _

_There you are_

_in a darkened room_

_And you're all alone_

_looking out the window_

_your heart is cold_

_and lost the will to love . . . _

--Desmond Child, Victoria Shaw & GaryBurr

© 2000 Sony Music Entertainment, Inc.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Price of Redemption

by Midii Une

Chapter 9

Midii stared at the ceiling, her eyes burning and tearless.Redemption, trust, forgiveness, these were all the things Sally had promised her in return for her help.

That wasn't the way it was working out.Trowa trusted her less now than he ever had and she didn't know why.She only knew that the sound of his voice was different when he talked to her now and his eyes did not seek hers as they always had.

She wracked her brain for a reason why Trowa wouldn't stay with her.She could feel the touch of his hands on her arms, only the way he touched her was still the same as always, soft but firm, possessive.His fingers had lingered on her skin, teasing her senses with his nearness, but he had left anyway.Left when she needed him beside her so badly.

I am yours and you are mine, she whispered in the empty room.A bitter laugh formed in her throat that came out sounding like a sob.

She ignored the insistent flashing emanating from her laptop for a good five minutes before pulling herself wearily off the bed.She hadn't slept all night; it had only been an hour since she'd managed to match the faces of the men in that room with names.A distinguished group indeed.But Midii felt no satisfaction or relief that the job was done, she had merely forwarded the information to Sally and Lady Une and then gone to lay on top of the bed not even bothering to pull back the covers.

Listlessly Midii reached out with her index finger and pushed a button; Sally's jubilant face appeared on the screen.

"Congratulations," Sally said, her eyes bright and her smile as maternal and friendly as always."You did a wonderful job for us Midii.I can see why you were so highly regarded by your former--I mean the . . ."

"That's alright," Midii said dully."I understand."

"Is Trowa there," Sally said, flushing a little at her faux pas in bringing up Midii's past.

Midii stared at her for so long that Sally grew uncomfortable with her silence and wondered briefly if they'd lost contact and the screen had frozen on the frame that captured her face.

"Actually, no," Midii finally said, her voice flat.

"Oh," Sally said, not knowing what to make of this turn of events. "I was hoping to speak to both of you about this.I'm sorry, you've done so much already, but there's just one more thing--"

"I've done more than enough already," Midii said, her voice cracking under the strain."I can't keep stringing Richard along anymore and Trowa--Trowa --"

Midii's trembling voice and despairing tone spurred a memory in Sally.A memory of the war.The look on Lucrezia Noin's face, the sound of her voice as she chose her path at the key moment, in Sally's eyes she'd made the wrong choice, and although she still considered the other woman her friend a bit of her respect for Noin had slipped that day.The day she chose Zechs Marquise's love over her responsibility to the world.

"Midii," Sally said, raising her voice a little, trying to get her attention and wishing they were talking face to face instead of over the impersonal vidscreen."If you do this you have to do it because you know it's right.Not because it's what you think Trowa or I want you to do.You realize that don't you? However, there's something I realized during the war and I've tried to live by it ever since.If I follow the lead of these pilots, these Gundam pilots I always know I'm choosing the right path.Do you hear me Midii?"

She thought she saw Midii nod her head slightly before she reached out to terminate the connection.

"Damnit," Sally cursed as the screen faded to black. They were so close, so close to stopping this thing.Was some lovers' spat between Trowa and Midii going to ruin it all?

Midii stared at the blank screen.Sally was right of course and she would be wrong not to help, just because there was some small problem between her and Trowa. It had to be small, something that could be fixed.It just had to be, she repeated, trying to convince herself it was true.

A knock sounded on the door and Midii's heart began to pound in her chest. Relief made her smile weakly, everything would be all right now.He was back.She rushed over and flung the door open ready to pounce.

The delivery boy stepped back a bit as the door opened suddenly and he was met by an overly excited looking girl who looked ready to jump on him.Her pretty face fell as she realized he obviously wasn't whom she expected.

"Mademoiselle Doce," he asked, his voice questioning, she seemed too young to have a room by herself in an expensive hotel like this one, almost childish, especially with the disappointed look she wore as she started to slam the door in his face.

"Yes," she said, pausing to glance at him disinterestedly, her voice tired.

"Can I bring these flowers in," he asked, hefting the heavy arrangement of lilies in his arms and peeking at her over the top of them. 

Something in the back of Midii's mind warned her against having anyone enter the room; this was still a mission, no matter how she longed for it to be over.

"I'll just take them," she said, taking the flowers and shutting the door quickly, hastily throwing the deadbolt as an extra precaution.

Midii, unhappy with everyone and everything at the moment, looked at the flowers distastefully.

"Who sent these," she wondered."It looks like something you'd see at a funeral."

She looked but there was no card.

The smell of the flowers was so strong it made her head ache and she went out on the balcony.Midii closed her eyes and felt Trowa beside her.She wondered again why he had left so suddenly.The sun was fully up now, casting a golden glow on the old buildings and the cobblestoned streets.People were laughing and talking below but she felt so alone.

"I'm caught in the middle," she thought despairingly. "I'm not who I used to be anymore but I don't know who I want to become."

Finally a tear fell from her dry, burning eyes.She could feel the liquid heat of it against her cheek in the cool breeze.The mornings were chilly now; fall was definitely in the air.In the distance she saw tall spires dark against the bright sky.How long had it been since she really prayed, she thought suddenly.How long since she had stopped believing that anyone could help her? Even God?

She stepped back into the room and the heavy smell of the lilies assaulted her immediately with their sickening-sweet, cloying fragrance.It clung to her like the unfamiliar smell of the perfume she'd worn the night before.Richard had liked it, or so he told her.The flowers must be from him she guessed.If he happened to stop by to see her today he'd wonder where the flowers were she knew but nevertheless she opened the door and put the ugly arrangement outside for the maid.

"I thought you had better taste than that Richard," she thought as she buttoned the prim, round-collared blouse and smoothed her navy skirt.The smell of the flowers lingered even though she had thrown them out, lingered like the past she couldn't forget.Automatically she studied herself in the mirror, tying back her hair with a navy chiffon scarf and pulling forward a few red-gold curls to frame her face. Midii grabbed her keys and left, slamming the door behind her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ichiban rubbed his chin, the unfamiliar feel of unshaven stubble harsh beneath his fingers.Would she heed his warning or simply ignore his flowers?He'd send one twice as big to the little bitch's funeral.He closed his eyes and saw her pressed against the tall body of that Preventer officer.He could almost hear her sweet, pleading voice as she must have begged him to stay with her.

But the Preventer was smarter than he was, at least according to Eva.He took a gulp of coffee, the hot steam swirling up in the nippy morning air as he watched her window and alternately the door in case she should come out.But Midii wasn't an early riser, he shouldn't expect to see her much before noon, he thought derisively.Eva had urged him to wait.Revenge tomorrow would be far sweeter than any he could take today.Revenge tomorrow, revenge done right, could help him save face, save all they had worked for.

All Eva's words and warnings made sense.They made perfect sense till he saw Midii step past the doorman, heard the faint sound of her soft, sweet voice thanking the man even as he stood across the street.He smirked at her prim attire.She looked like a proper schoolgirl, her skirt fluttering just above her knees, soft ivory stockings and little dark blue flats.So innocent.He wondered idly why women dressed that way, especially women like Midii who were as far as one could get from the sweet and pure image they projected.

What could she be up to now, he thought, and although he was stone sober he felt almost drunk with anger.He saw her glance around nonchalantly but the gesture wasn't without meaning. Her gestures never were. Was she looking to see if he was there? Did she suspect he was on to her?Had the flowers given him away?No, the answer was none of the above he realized.

It made him angrier to realize he was still jealous even though she'd betrayed him.She wasn't looking for him at all.She was looking for the Preventer.Trowa Barton.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Cathedral of St. Michael sat in the heart of Brussels, as long as two of Duo's beloved American football fields and as full of pomp and religious imagery as even Shinigami could wish.

"Wow," thought Duo, bending down on one knee to let his fingers carefully trace the ancient wooden carving of the fall of Adam and Eve on the pulpit.Of course he totally ignored the discreet sign urging visitors not to touch the 12th century relic, which had been carefully preserved.And there his thought stopped, so enthralled was he by the monstrous building.It was as lofty and quiet as some faraway heaven and it was enough to awe the talkative Mr. Maxwell into an uncharacteristic silence.At least the place resembled the heaven Father Maxwell and Sister Helen had described in sermons and catechism lessons.

But Duo had decided for himself that heaven would not be at all like a church, not even one as awesome as this was.Tomorrow this would be his mission, stay behind the scenes.He could even dress like a priest for a good cause for a change.Lady Une had looked at him a bit coldly and disapprovingly when she'd told him that.It had been the funniest thing that had happened to Duo, since, well hell, he really had to think about that one a minute.

He chuckled suddenly, his laughter almost lost in the huge building.He remembered now that it was the funniest thing since the time he'd come across Heero trying to shoot Relena on that OZ dock so long ago and the look on Heero's face when she had yelled at Duo for stopping him. Now that had been really funny.A lingering, wistful smirk played across his lips.He was better at this undercover stuff than most, but it was galling to all of them really.A whole bunch of the new governments big wigs, including the President and Relena would be here for some commemorative ceremony.Lady Une was nervous but Duo had to admit he doubted their cowardly terrorists would make such a big strike.Besides they had the names now and it wouldn't be long till the whole damn thing was over.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Midii ducked behind a pillar as she caught sight of Duo sauntering out of the cathedral.Part of her wanted to approach him and ask him if he knew where Trowa was, the other part of her wanted to be alone.She'd left a message at the hotel desk, if Trowa wanted to find her he'd know where to look, she told herself.She glanced down the street, somehow hoping to see him appear, even though she had been glancing behind her constantly the entire time she'd been walking.

No one was there.

She felt dwarfed by the heavy, carved wooden doors, she could barely manage to push open the large door without help, but she managed to push it open enough to squeeze her slight figure between the crack she opened.It was cool and dark and serene inside.Candles flickered along the sides of the church, a building so huge she could barely see the end of it.Midii walked slowly up the aisle, somehow ashamed to lift her eyes to the altar.It had been so long and she had done so much since the last time she'd entered a church.So much to be sorry for.Did she even dare to ask for her heart's desire?For Trowa's love?

She stopped, her head down as she stared at the ancient stone floor.How many countless people had come here seeking something over the centuries this cathedral had stood?How many of them had found it, she wondered.A draft of air caressed her face and fluttered her skirt, brushing softly across her ankles.She glanced up to see where the air was coming from and noticed an alcove off to the right of the huge altar.She swallowed painfully as she saw the words carved into the stone over the arched entrance that was covered in heavy plastic. 

**The Chapel of Our Lady of Redemption.**

Midii walked toward the plastic and pushed it aside almost reverently, ignoring the signs warning her to keep out of the construction area.These old cathedrals were always in some stage of renovation to keep them intact for generations to come.She gasped as she stepped behind the flimsy barrier.The room was ablaze with colored light as the sun cast its rays through the loveliest stained glass windows she had ever seen.An unusual sense of peace and tranquility flooded her heart.This place, you could almost feel forgiveness in this room she thought, as her gaze met the colored glass eyes of the Virgin Mary depicted in the window.

"You are so lovely, ma toute douce Marguerite," a hushed voice whispered from a corner.

"Richard," she mumbled the feeling of peace immediately dispelled by his voice."What are you doing here?"

"Why looking for you of course," he said."I barely slept last night, I was worried about you."

"You're so sweet to me Richard," she said automatically, smiling up at him as he came to take her in his arms."I got the flowers this morning, what a lovely gesture."

"I'm glad you liked them," he said, kissing her with more passion than was appropriate in such a place.

"Not here," she protested, pushing her hands against his chest.

"No," he said dully, her protest one more proof of her betrayal, but he kept his hands on her shoulders, "of course not."

"This place stands for everything I hate," he said suddenly, his voice bitter."It's a symbol of the old world Midii.A world I want to see dead and gone."

"It will happen soon," he said staring into her eyes as if he were looking for something.Speaking as if he dared her to protest his intentions.

"What do you mean Richard?What's going to happen," Midii asked, remembering Sally's request.Ichiban seemed strange and bitter and she knew she couldn't play with him much longer.There was a limit and she was close to overstepping it.

"Don't trouble yourself my love," he said, putting off her question."Never fear, you will be very important when the key moment comes.Very important."

The heavy chime of the tower bells sounded through the stone cathedral, breaking into Midii's thoughts as she stared searchingly into Richard's eyes.Did he suspect, she wondered."I have to leave," she said, trying to hide her discomfort by looking at her watch.She was glad to have an excuse to get away from him."I'm meeting Relena Yuy for lunch and I'm already late."

He smiled at her then and her fears were forgotten as he put an arm around her shoulders and walked with her out of the Cathedral.They stopped on the stairs and he turned her in his arms staring down at her."You look perfect for lunch with our former Queen," he complimented her, tugging playfully on the scarf that held back her hair."I'm sure she won't mind if you're a bit late.I need to talk to you Deejii-chan."

She looked at him and nodded, urging him to continue.

"I'm leaving Brussels later today," he said, placing his fingers over her lips as she opened her mouth to protest."Shh, I'm just going to Blankenberge on the coast.Pay close attention Marguerite, no matter what you hear tomorrow you are not to worry.Remember there is a purpose to everything."

He kissed her chastely on the forehead and turned away, suppressing a grin as he jogged down the stairs.He had her attention; he could almost see the wheels turning behind those lovely blue eyes of hers.His smile widened as he heard her footsteps racing down the stairs behind him.

"Richard," she said, tugging on his sleeve."What do you mean?Shouldn't I come with you?"

"I know you want to help," he said, patting her cheek patronizingly."But it's best if you stay here, it's not something I want you to see.It's going to be dangerous, the casualties will be high.The nations will be in an uproar and ready to take action."

"Ichiban," Midii said, her voice intense, her face pale with fear."Don't treat me like this.What's going to happen?You're going to take care of this yourself, aren't you?"

He shrugged but inside he congratulated himself.He had her now; she was hanging eagerly on his every word."Yes," he admitted."I'm going to make sure nothing goes wrong and the best way is to do it myself.Nothing can stop us now Marguerite, absolutely nothing.There'll be widespread panic."

She watched him walk away and disappear into the lunchtime crowd.Here was her answer, she thought.The way to earn her redemption was to stop Richard, stop him herself.

Heavy casualties, she thought.Richard had to be stopped.She couldn't wait for the slow wheels of Sally Po's bureaucratic justice to click into motion.People were going to die.

Preventer had their rules but she had never been one to follow rules.I'll stop Richard, she decided, I'll stop him myself.The carved words above the chapel felt engraved on her mind.

"This is the price of my redemption," she thought.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Trying to sleep for a few hours had been a waste of time; the coffee he had drunk with Wufei combined with his thoughts about Midii had made closing his eyes impossible.But still, he was so tired he couldn't think straight.She was driving him crazy, his doubts about her were driving him to the point where he was becoming a liability to her and everyone else who depended on him.Without sleep he couldn't protect anybody or make a competent decision on who was to be trusted and who wasn't.

Trowa closed his eyes again, trying to remember his training as a soldier.You slept and ate when you had too, it was part of fighting.But this time, for the first time, he couldn't do what was best.He could only think about Midii.

"You're right not to trust me," she said, her words from the past like a warning, keeping him from sleeping."Maybe I can never change."

But he hadn't cared then.He had believed in Provence those months ago that even though he didn't completely trust her he could control his feelings, only be in love with her halfway so to speak.But over time that had changed.He loved her completely now, despite everything she had ever done, despite anything she might be doing now. 

The knock on the door was like a godsend, swerving the treacherous direction of his thoughts away from his suspicions.That was probably Midii now, he thought.He prayed it was.He had missed her last night and he had lied to her too, making excuses and leaving her alone.But he had needed time, time to think.But if she was here now he'd talk to her and they'd sort this out together.She had to have her reasons for her behavior since coming to Brussels, she would be able to explain.

A snide little voice inside reminded him that if Midii was good at anything at all it was explaining her actions.Trowa tore a restless, hand, jittery with caffeine through his bangs and pulled the door open.

"Hello Trowa," she said, emphasizing his name with her sultry voice, dark eyes taking in his attire, a white tank-style undershirt and slim-fitting Preventer uniform pants.Her lips curved seductively.

"Don't let me disturb you," she said, pushing past him as she spoke and sitting on the edge of the bed, crossing one black-stockinged leg over the other.Her fingers, the nails bright red with glossy polish, moved in suggestive circles over the white pillowcase."Don't let me stop you from getting your rest, Trowa.Do you want to come back to bed?"

It was the woman from the reception, unwillingly his eyes were drawn to the deep slit in her black mini-skirt and from there up to the abundant cleavage revealed by her snug red v-neck top.

She grinned, amusement and gratification apparent on her face, as an angry, embarrassed blush suffused his cheeks with red.

"Who the hell are you," he asked, struggling to maintain his composure in the face of her obvious amusement and lack of fear.

She rested back on her elbows, not missing the way his eyes shifted away from her as she displayed her assets.Her painted lips pushed out in a pout and irrational anger at Midii renewed itself.

"I promised you information last night Trowa," she purred."Have you forgotten?Isn't this important to your organization?"

Eva felt a stir of longing quicken in the pit of her stomach as Trowa leaned against the wall in aggravation, stretching his long muscular arms.Dear God, she thought, he is more man than that pale little girl deserves.

She let her passionate instincts guide her and rose from her seat on the bed, closing her eyes briefly as she let her fingertips glide over the smooth skin of his shoulder.When he turned his head to look at her she stepped back a bit unsettled.The green eyes burned with a furious fire and she was suddenly afraid she might be playing out of her league.But stronger than the fear was the realization that he was not tempted by what she was so blatantly offering.

Eva walked over to the chair by the window and sat down with a huff, crossing her arms beneath her breasts and staring angrily at Trowa.Then she smirked, letting her eyes run over him appreciatively. He was infuriating but so very attractive.

"I can see why she wouldn't mind playing with you," she said."Even a cold little bitch like Midii would warm up to you, Trowa."

She blinked as he strode over to her angrily and again she felt fear as those eyes snapped at her.She almost felt like apologizing, but he stopped a few feet away from her, balling his fists to keep from reaching out and shaking her.

"I asked who you are," he said again, his voice tight with fury.

"My name is Eva Ketto," she said."And I'm here to tell you what I know."

"Get out," Trowa said."I know who you are.She told me about you.Get out."

Eva laughed until small tears sparkled at the edges of her lush black lashes.

"Oh Trowa, you are priceless," she said, gasping for breath and struggling to control her laughter."And you believed her sad little story that I put something in her coffee?It was an excuse darling, an excuse she gave you to make you feel sorry for her when all the time she was voluntarily spending the night with Ichiban.Did you honestly expect her to tell the truth?Even if she was on your side, which I promise you she isn't, did you really think Ichiban would take her word that she was his ally without a little physical evidence of her loyalty.That's how things work for people like us."

"She's not like you," Trowa said, looking at Eva distastefully, even as her words burned in his heart.Everything she said made so much sense.Why would Ichiban trust Midii, unless . . .

"I'm sorry to disillusion you, darling," Eva said, shrugging her shoulders."But she is exactly like me.Tomorrow you'll see just what the truth is about Midii Une.She'll keep her secrets from you right up to the end."

He was eerily silent and Eva's sense of discomfort grew.It would be best to leave she thought to herself.

As she reached for the handle he was suddenly in front of her, his movement as quick and graceful as a tiger in the jungle she thought, a small gasp of shock escaping her lips.

She regained her assurance and her quick instincts forced an unconcerned look of boredom to wash over her sultry features.

"Don't try to stop me from leaving Trowa," she warned."We wouldn't want to alert the wrong people that I've been confiding in you, would we?Why who knows what would happen?"

Trowa forced himself to peer deeply into those black eyes, but they were inscrutable, she knew the trick of hiding her feelings, her eyes were a blank, so unlike Midii's.Midii's eyes were always so full of emotion.The trouble was discerning whether her emotion was real.Eva's eyes were a blank.

"You still don't trust in my information," she said, stating the obvious."Try Marguerite then and see if she'll tell you anything more.But if not, meet me in Blankenberge tomorrow.It's about 60 kilometres to the west, in the Dutch quarter of Belgium, on the coast.For your promise of immunity I'll reveal everything."

Her voice grew husky and her eyes gleamed as she said the last words.She reached out and tucked a slip of paper with an address scrawled on it into his back pocket, brushing herself against him and breathing him in as she did so.Her eyes hardened as he once again ignored her unspoken invitation.He was silent and didn't try to stop her as she left.

She paused outside the closed door regretfully.It was unfortunate she had been unable to get him into bed for good measure, but she was fairly happy with her results.If only Richard had been as successful on his end of the scheme.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Midii's face hurt from her false smiles and laughter.An afternoon of lunching and shopping with Relena compounded by the addition of Dorothy Catalonia to their little group had been a trial she hadn't expected.She got along fine with Dorothy when Quatre was around.But the other girl had been particularly catty today, hinting in none-too-subtle terms that the space shuttle explosion might have been avoided if certain people had done their job better.And all Midii could do was smile.But she had kept her secret about Blankenberge, the coastal war museum and the thousands of tourists who visited there were Ichiban's targets but she would stop him.She planned her movements in her mind.Once she killed him the whole plot would crumble like a child's tower of blocks.There would be no Preventers present, she would do it herself.

"You'll see Papa," she promised, clicking the bullet clip into her pistol with a practiced movement."I'll make up for everything I've done and someone will love me.Trowa will love me after this."

She blinked back tears; she was exhausted and haunted by her father's betrayal and worry about Trowa's odd behavior the night before.

She caught a movement out of the corner of her eye, the turning of the doorknob, and for a moment she feared Richard had come back for her unexpectedly.Midii knelt quickly and shoved the loaded pistol between the mattress and the boxspring as the door opened.

He frowned as he saw her kneeling there on the floor.What was she hiding?She smiled softly at him and stood hastily, but her smile didn't reach her eyes and Trowa wondered what she was hiding.Please, he thought desperately, confide in me, tell me the truth tonight Midii or I don't know what I'll do.He was torn between anger, wanting to believe in her and fear at what the others would do if they found out she had lied to them.

"Why," he wondered, as she moved into his arms.The intense reaction of his body to the touch of hers was the same as always, more intense if anything.The fear of losing her over this making her all the more precious in a way.Yet part of him despised his weakness in still caring about her.

"Midii, do you have something to tell me," he whispered into her hair, his hands moving on their own to undo the buttons of the girlish white blouse she wore.She's not like Eva, she's not, his heart insisted as his mind roiled with confusion.

She nodded and time stopped as he waited.

"I missed you," she said, tiptoeing to kiss him, looking up at him flirtatiously through her long, silky lashes.

Her lie hurt like a dagger to his heart.Everything she said, every move she made backed up Eva's accusations.Midii was working against them, from the minute she'd opened that apartment door months ago, probably from the time she'd met Cathrine 'accidentally' on the street.She had planned this.Planned to get back in his life, planned to get close to his friends.She'd made them trust her and it had all been because of him.They trusted him, trusted his judgment.But he had picked the wrong person to love.He was an experienced soldier, he never gave his emotions carelessly and yet she had done it to him twice, taken his heart and used it against him.

He let her slide her hands beneath his shirt, the familiar feel of her cool fingers caressing his skin.Her breath coming more rapidly as his own hands slid the straps of her bra over her shoulders.

"I missed you, Trowa," she repeated, her voice breathy with passion.

"Midii," he said, his voice rough, as he tightened his arms around her and closed his mouth over hers.He felt the scrape of her nails across his back as he deepened the kiss.He lifted her up against him to gain easier access to her mouth and she moaned softly and clung harder, wrapping her legs around his waist. Trowa stumbled over to the bed, pushing her down beneath him and struggling with the zipper on his pants and hastily pushing her skirt above her thighs as he fought to remove her silk stockings.He didn't feel romantic; he felt primitive, angry passion that overcame every other thought.

Midii's gasp of surprise at the suddenness and intensity of his onslaught was lost beneath his kiss.She bit her lip as his mouth sucked at the delicate skin of her throat and the graze of his teeth as he left a blotchy red mark of possession there.

He was making love to her like there was no tomorrow, so different from his customary slow, excruciatingly gentle caresses and tender kisses.Her lips felt bruised by the pressure of his mouth.Far back in her mind a twist of fear moved and tried to get her attention.Something was wrong.But stronger than the fear was her reaction to Trowa's intense passion and all her attention pinpointed on the feel of his hands and mouth that seemed to be everywhere on her body at once as he crushed her against the mattress.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Daylight stole into the room like a thief, suddenly and silently, but the brightness didn't wake her up.Trowa stood over the bed fully dressed.He had been up for hours, watching her as she slept.It was so hard to believe she wasn't what she seemed.

For months she had been hiding her true self, her true feelings.She had never loved him.He had only been a convenient diversion, a chance to practice her skills and congratulate herself for fooling him so completely.

If only she could have kept it up forever, his treacherous heart whispered. Even now he wished that he'd never found her out that he could still believe. Still be a fool for her love.It had seemed so genuine . . .

No, this time he wouldn't let Midii Une destroy the people he'd worked with for peace, his real friends.This time she wouldn't betray him again, he wouldn't let her.

Suddenly Midii woke with a start, her sleepy blue-gray eyes darting between the clock and her lover with a mixture of surprise and annoyance.

"Trowa? Why are you dressed," she asked, moving to get out of bed."What's wrong? Were you going to leave without saying goodbye?"

He stopped her with a hand and looked into her eyes, she noticed the somber look and flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Trowa," she said, her voice questioning and tremulous, his hands caressing the warm silk of her nightgown automatically.She was still so beautiful to him, he still wanted so much to hold her, to feel her in his arms.

"What's wrong Trowa?You've been acting so strangely.After today it will all be over we can go back to the way it was.It's all under control, please don't worry," Midii whispered, her breath tickling his ear softly, her arms twining around his neck and keeping him close.

He looked into her eyes.The illusion of love was in them.But he had seen the same tenderness there when she looked at Ichiban.A killer of innocents, a smooth liar, a villain on the grandest of scales.She looked at Ichiban the same way she had looked at him.He could see her now gazing up at him adoringly, leaning her head on his coat sleeve and rubbing her cheek against it softly at the reception, the burning in his own heart.

"I know you've been lying to me, Midii," he said, holding her away from him, steeling himself against the vision of her shocked face.

"What do you mean," she whispered."Trowa, how can you say that after last night?You said you understood."

"I do understand," he said."How does it feel to be on the other end of things?I loved you with all my heart.Does it make you happy?You had me fooled for months and even now I can't hurt you, can't hate you.What is it about you?I know what you are but I can never stop caring, never stop making excuses.God, how I wish we'd never met."

Her breath was ragged as she stared at him disbelievingly, as if he'd struck her."Trowa," she sobbed."I don't understand.What—"

"Please don't talk.I'm so tired of hearing your lies.I'm leaving.I'm going to find out what's going on and put a stop to it," he said, his grip tightening painfully on her arms.

"Alright," Midii pleaded."I'll tell you everything, you'll understand why I had to lie Trowa.Please listen . . ."

"Just shut up," he yelled and both of them were silent and stared at each other, shocked by his unusual outburst.Trowa never raised his voice."I gave you every chance Midii.Because I loved you.But I'm not going to listen anymore.When I get back I'll decide what to do about this."

"I'm coming with you.Trowa, you'll see . . ."

He cut her off as she moved to get out of the bed."You're not going anywhere today," he said, swinging her up in his arms and dumping her unceremoniously in the closet.

"Trowa," she screamed, jumping to her feet as he slammed the door and lockedit from the outside."You have to listen.Let me out right now."

She hit at the door with the flat of her hand and rattled the knob but it was useless.Midii looked around the dim interior of the closet but he had completely cleaned it out.No coat hangers, nothing anywhere.

"Trowa!! Let me out this instant," she shrieked, pounding on the heavy wood.

Trowa stuck the desk chair under the moving knob and stepped back a little, he could barely hear her screams, the door was fairly solid.From outside in the hall he hoped that no one would hear her and come let her out.

He hung the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door before walking away.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Eyes, like a predatory jungle cat's watched Trowa and Wufei leave the hotel.Where was she?Ichiban's glance rose to the window of her room, he knew it well.For two nights had he watched her slender silhouette outlined in the lamplight before she turned it off and went to sleep?But not alone, she hadn't been alone.He swallowed painfully, she had betrayed him all so that she could become the plaything of a Gundam pilot.

Midii huffed and sputtered in anger and frustration as she sank down against the door and rested her flushed face in her hands.Trowa believed the worst of her, he had held her and made love to her and all the time he had believed that she was going to betray them all.Through her pain, fury flared in her heart.She had done this for him, to make him believe in her and all she had accomplished was to turn him against her again, perhaps forever.

Her growing anger and confusion at the injustice to Trowa's behavior distracted her so she didn't hear the outside door crack open, but she did hear the creak of footsteps and the rustling sound of someone in the room.She opened her mouth to call his name, she had to believe he had thought better of locking her up like this.Midii held her breath.

Ichiban looked around the silent room, the chair propped against the closet door like a red warning sign.Eva had done her job very well, he had underestimated her it seemed, she had completely destroyed Trowa's trust in Midii. He smiled in anticipation as he picked up the key Trowa had left on the desk and opened the door to find Midii pressed against the back wall, her eyes wide and frightened.

Richard.He's supposed to already be in Blankenberge, she thought irrationally.Her face, pink and flushed with anger at Trowa and the exertions of pounding on the stubborn door, paled as at last she understood everything that had been happening.Richard knew everything.Richard had gotten to Trowa and made him suspect her.She backed slowly into the corner her mind racing.

Ichiban stared at her for a long moment.As always she played her role to perfection he thought vaguely, the trapped and terrified victim.Her performance didn't move him to pity, not at all, although he had to admit he appreciated her effort.

"Hello Marguerite," he said, reaching in and grasping her arm just above the elbow and pulling her against him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Next time on The Price of Redemption . . . Wufei thinks Trowa made the wrong choice concerning Midii and takes matters into his own hands . . . Ichiban sets Midii up to take the blame for a horrible act of terrorism . . . Duo gets a chance to give a sermon . . Quatre acts in Trowa's best interest but it may cost him everything . . .and what's wrong with Relena?


	10. Chapter 10

AN:C'mon everybody don't be mad at Trowa, remember the reader is omniscient in this piece and sees both Midii and Trowa's side of things.Trowa only sees his side and from there Midii seems pretty suspicious.At least I tried to make it that way, this fic is bringing all their unresolved issues into the light . . . anyway, all that said and with my undying love and worship for Tro-chan proclaimed, on with the angst.

Did I mention an angst warning?? Also lime (4xD) and language warning.Err, is anyone still reading this thing?????????Please, please review @_@

The Price of Redemption

By Midii Une

Chapter 10

"Rough night?"

Midii stared at Ichiban and self-consciously pulled the strap of her nightgown higher on her shoulder.Her fingers shook nervously as they tugged at the soft material.

"Umm . . . Richard," she said, trying to act as if his finding her locked in a closet was a normal and unsuspicious occurrence but failing miserably and stumbling over her words."I thought you were leaving Brussels?"

"Obviously," he said, his voice acid as he looked at her dishevelment; her tangled hair, her bruised lips and the marks Trowa had left on her ivory skin. 

"What are you going to do," she asked, sensing it was futile to argue her innocence.

His silence was more ominous than shouted threats, Midii thought, as her former lover stared at her bitterly.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Usually Wufei enjoyed silence, especially prior to a mission.It was conducive to finding his focus and meditating on the course he would take in the fight ahead.But Trowa's silence was worse than noise.It was a tense, ominous, unnatural quiet that was noted even by the usually self-involved Chinese pilot.

He actually felt a bit intimidated as he glanced over at Trowa, who was staring intently at the road ahead.Not a sound had passed his tight-pressed lips since he'd come out of the hotel, not even a nod of reaction to Wufei's terse greeting.

"Stop being such a weakling," Wufei adjured himself.He didn't exactly describe himself as Trowa's friend per se, but for lack of a better word 'friend' would have to suffice.They were more than acquaintances and had the benefit of sharing in many battles and experiences over the years since Operation Meteor.

"I do not fear Trowa," Wufei thought again, a frown of self-contempt appearing between his onyx eyes as anger welled up in his soul.To even think that he should consider fearing anyone was enough to stir him to pick a fight.

"Well," he said, deciding to take the offense, which he always deemed the best policy."Are you going to leave me in the dark?I agreed to come along on this wild-goose chase, I think you at least owe me an explanation as to what exactly is going on."

Trowa stared at the road ahead as if he hadn't heard Wufei's question, but his grip on the steering wheel tightened until his knuckles turned white with the pressure.

Wufei cleared his throat and spoke again."What about . . . Midii?"He hesitated a bit over the words, he rarely referred to any woman by her given name, usually lumping them all into one nameless group. 

"I'll take care of her when this is over," Trowa said, shooting a warning look at the other Preventer.

"If she betrayed us she needs to be taken into custody now," Wufei shouted, his dark eyes glinting with anger."You can't make this decision Trowa, you're useless when it comes to her.You don't have the authority--"

"I said I'll take care of it," Trowa said, his voice remaining at an even pitch though his memory was haunted by the look in her eyes when he'd left.

It was futile to argue with Trowa in his condition, even Wufei could see that.No matter, at the first opportunity he would contact Heero and tell him what was going on.Trowa's feelings were affecting his judgment where that woman was concerned.They'd all given her plenty of chances to prove herself and if Trowa had given up on her it was obvious she had turned on them.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"You've lost your edge, Midii," Ichiban taunted, her reaction so far was disappointing.He expected her to argue, to convince him he was wrong.He longed to throw her denials back in her face, but she seemed resigned and unwilling to argue with him.Was she just going to give up?

"Eva had you pegged from the start," he said, trying to elicit some type of response."I thought you were better at this than she was but how mistaken I was. You disappointed me in so many ways.I know she wishes she could be here to see you fall, but she has other loose ends to tie up.Your Preventer should be half-way to his rendezvous with her now.She hates you, you know.She blames you for Stefan's death."

Midii ignored the remarks about Stefan.Her head shot up and she grabbed Richard's arm."What about Trowa," she said urgently.

"That got your attention, didn't it," Ichiban said, shaking her off."Damn your lying little heart.You made me believe you loved me."

"What about Trowa," Midii repeated anxiously, her heart pounding, her fear for herself forgotten.

"Eva wants revenge, she wants to make you pay for Stefan's death," Ichiban said, his eyes glittering with satisfaction as he watched her react."You can imagine how she'll get it . . ."

Midii moved slowly, edging herself along the mattress, holding his eyes with hers before dropping quickly to the floor and shoving her hand between the mattress and the boxspring, searching for the pistol she had hidden the night before.

In an instant he was beside her, the weapon she searched for appearing in his hand.

"Looking for this," he chuckled."How good of your Preventer to leave you here so ill-prepared to defend yourself.Eva had such fun turning him against you, although I fear it wasn't much of a challenge.Poor Midii, you don't inspire trust in your lovers. You've truly lost your touch since the end of the war."

"Damn you," she cursed, grabbing for the gun but he held it out of her reach.

"I'm afraid you'll precede me to hell," he said, mock sorrow in his voice as he traced the lines of her face and throat with the barrel of the gun.She made a strangled sound as he pressed his lips to the pulse beat of her throat and ran a hand over the silk nightgown she wore, his breathing coming heavier.He pulled her to her feet, holding the gun on her threateningly.

"Now get dressed 'Marguerite', we'll be late for church," Ichiban said."I've thought of the perfect way for you to pay for your sins against me."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

Quatre ran the brush through the silky length of Dorothy's pale, moonlight-colored hair.The early morning sunlight poured softly through the elegant, transparent sheers of their hotel room, encasing her in a nimbus of golden light.She was different since the shuttle explosion.Gentler than she had ever been and now she was nearly purring with contentment as he continued to pull the brush through the satiny-smoothness of her long hair.

"Let's stay here," she said, falling back on the featherbed, the small poofing sound made by the weight of her body making Quatre smile as he bent to kiss her pouting lips. Her fingers tangled in the black suspenders he wore over his white shirt, holding him captive as she kissed him with increasing passion.She knew she could play the temptress very well if she had a mind too and being with Quatre always set her mind on that course.He looked like an angel but she knew just how to make him fall, to make him act basely human, to devour him with passion.

"We need to be there for the ceremony Dorothy," he protested unwillingly.She made it so hard not to play hooky and he started to wonder what would be quicker, taking a cold shower or giving in to her demands.The blonde on the bed beneath him made the decision for him as she felt him waver in his resolve, her hands tugging at the zipper of his black dress pants and her teeth nibbling at his lower lip.His aquamarine eyes lit with an uncharacteristic wickedness as his long, artistic fingers played her like a piano, stroking her through the thin cotton gown she wore until she snarled at him to hurry.

He wanted to spend all day with her but duty called so he gently nudged her thighs apart, his eyes widening in surprise as she arched to meet him and they both came quickly to a climax, moaning each others names softly.Quatre lay with his head pillowed on her breasts a moment, listening to her fiercely pounding heartbeat.He wished again that they could stay there, that he could pull the covers up and make love to her slowly.He wanted to order breakfast in bed and feed her ripe raspberries, crushing the soft fruit between their lips.He thought about dribbling champagne on her skin and tasting the intoxicating combination flavors.Dorothy was like a drug and he couldn't get enough. 

Quatre sighed; maybe he did have time for a quick cold shower after all.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The interior of the Cathedral of St. Michael was chilly and silent.A few people spoke softly in quiet tones, but it was relatively empty, there being plenty of time to spare before the scheduled commemorative ceremony.Midii stumbled but Richard's tight grip on her arm kept her upright, he shoved the pistol she had loaded herself painfully into her side.She couldn't look at him and she couldn't meet his eyes.Her face flushed and her eyes stung with tears of humiliation.He had made her undress in front of him.She could feel his hands lingering on her legs as he put her stockings on her himself.

"This is where he fucked you isn't it," Richard had hissed, his hands on her body, pushing at her nightgown, his body pinning hers to the bed.

He'd made her beg and plead for him to stop before he'd laughed in her face.

"Don't worry Midii-chan," he'd whispered rising off her as if she disgusted him."I don't want the Preventer's leftovers.Now get dressed, I told you we're going to be late."

She kept her eyes on the ground, almost uncaring what he did to her although deep down a voice urged her to try to fight him but she was too heartsick to make an attempt.

He let go of her arm and she lost her balance as he pushed aside the plastic and shoved her into the chapel they had spoken in the day before.It was still just as beautiful, filled with glorious crimson, azure and golden light from the windows.Midii pushed herself up off her knees and found herself looking at the window.The faces did not look forgiving today.They looked pleased, pleased that someone like her was finally going to get exactly what she deserved.

She heard an odd scraping sound and turned back toward Richard.Out of the corner of her eye she could see he was going to hit her with something, her eyes widened and she tried to move away but her realization came too late.

Blood spattered the ancient gray stones and Richard dropped the heavy trowel, hardly believing he had actually hit her with it.He had killed her.It skittered across the hard floor smearing blood from its edge.Midii lay crumpled in a shaft of rosy-red light, blood splotched on her white dress like hideous scarlet polka dots.

He knelt beside her and smoothed the red-gold curls back from the uninjured side of her face gently, averting his eyes from the gaping wound on her right temple that oozed a steady stream of blood.

"You made me do this Midii," he croaked."I loved you, I truly did . . ."

He leaned to kiss her unresponsive lips, the edge of his white shirt cuff wicking up her blood and staining his sleeve bright red.Ichiban didn't notice.He pulled himself together."You deserved this Midii, you brought it on yourself," he repeated to her still form, but his voice shook a little, as if he was trying to convince himself that he was in the right.She looked eerily like the statues on the tombs in the crypt beneath the church, her body as still as if it was carved from stone and her face oddly serene.He pulled a cylindrical device from his pockets and pressed a few buttons and the numbers 12:00 appeared in the digital time window.He pressed the automatic detonation device into Midii's limp hand and walked away.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Preventers!!Die, die.Bang, bang," the boy yelled, pointing his finger at Trowa and Wufei as if it were a gun and rolling away from them on the concrete pathway and into some nearby bushes.

Mobile suits and mobile dolls stood at attention throughout the park beside the glittering blue water of the channel.The bright late morning sun flashed off the titanium and reflected in the two men's sunglasses as the boy's mother scolded him and delivered a sharp swat to his bottom.The boy stuck his tongue out at Trowa and Wufei and let his mother drag him along to the next exhibit.

"Mama," the boy whined, his voice carrying back to the two former Gundam pilots."Are you sure the mobile suits can't fire?"

"Yes dear," the woman said tiredly, her son was a handful."They disabled them before putting them on display here as a reminder to people about the horrors of war."

"That sucks," the boy yowled."I wanna see'em blow something up like in those kick-ass mecha shows daddy watches on TV."

"Jonathan, your language," his mother protested as they moved out of earshot.

Wufei folded his arms and glared at the mobile dolls, he had always detested fighting them and against inferior mobile suit pilots.Mobile suits were all around them; there were even Cancers and Pisces floating in the bay, anchored and disabled of course.As the woman had said the War Museum at Blankenberge, Belgium was intended as a reminder and a warning of the mistakes of the past.But if that boy was any example the place was more of a play land for potential young mobile suit pilots who would never get their chance.

"Makes me glad I destroyed Nataku myself," Wufei muttered, looking after the spoiled child with disgust written on his features.He cringed internally to think of his beloved Gundam on display in a place like this, gawked at by people who didn't know what it meant to fight for any cause, right or wrong.He didn't want to be here, the place sickened him, children carrying bright-colored balloons and frolicking in the shadows of mobile suit weaponry.It wasn't right, it was disgusting and some of the discouragement that had spurred him to join Mariemaia's army stirred in his soul at the sight.

Trowa's face was a blank, any emotion or regret for Heavyarms masked by the sunglasses and his concentration on more important matters.Strangely nothing seemed out of place or suspicious here.

Wufei vocally echoed Trowa's silent concern."I don't see that anything's wrong here, at least nothing threatening, although personally I think they should close this place down and destroy these suits honorably.This place has no integrity."

Inside the museum's technical department a young man lay on his back, chocolate brown eyes that had once sparkled with appreciation for mechanics and pretty women were glazed and set, they stared up unblinkingly at the metal beams of the old Alliance hangar.He had been dead for hours.What had seemed too good to be true had been of course.The unexplained appearance of a beautiful, voluptuous woman with an insatiable interest in how mobile dolls worked and an equally insatiable interest in his physique should have alerted him to his danger, but it hadn't.She was a professional.

Eva Ketto stepped carefully around the stiffening body of her victim and her fingers caressed the slim black control box she held.

"Thank you so much darling," she said, a secretive smile playing on her full lips as she tossed back her dark hair and smoothed her dress.The young man, not much more than a boy actually, had been so very helpful.He'd been a genius with mobile suits and completely under the control of raging hormones.Her coup had been much too easy. He'd died happy after proving to her that he was fully capable of rearming one of the mobile dolls.She remembered the lascivious glint in his eyes as she leaned forward to listen to him and how they'd widened when she'd taken his hand and pressed it to her heart.It had almost been a shame to kill him, he had been an eager, if inexperienced, lover but time might have changed that, given a chance.

Now she just had to wait for Trowa to find her.She had such a surprise for him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ichiban walked down the side aisle, what he'd done to Midii preying on his mind.He'd killed before, so many times, but this was different.He'd loved her once, could still remember exactly how it felt to kiss her awake after the few heavenly nights he'd spent sleeping beside her and yet he'd murdered her in cold blood.He kept seeing the look in her eyes as she turned and his hand had seemed to move of its own volition to strike.For some reason he hadn't expected the blood, when he closed his eyes he could see it spattered on the walls and her dress.

"She deserved it," he muttered to himself, exerting his self-control to keep himself from running from the Cathedral and the body sprawled on the floor of the little Chapel.

Relena was lost in her own thoughts; the ceremony today intended to commemorate all those who had given their lives for peace.She walked slowly up the side aisle of the cathedral, enjoying a few moments to herself; her mind was on her fathers, both real and adopted, both dead because of the people's urge to fight.Maybe that's what had her feeling so tired lately, exhaustion that never seemed to ease up, it was only the stress the feelings of this day were bound to bring.She wouldn't be able to hide it from Heero much longer she knew.Last night she had fallen asleep while he was taking a shower, she hadn't even woken up when he crawled into bed beside her and taken her in his arms.

"Ugh," she breathed, the air forced out of her body, as someone slammed into her, not surprising since neither of them were looking where they were going.

"Madame Yuy, please excuse me," Ichiban said in greeting, trying desperately to gather the remnants of his usual aplomb around him.

"Are you quite well Richard," Relena asked.It was still so unbelievable that the charming and handsome young man she had known and had even briefly considered going out with was a criminal mastermind.He didn't look well today, not at all, his face was gray and haggard and his hands seemed to tremble.

"I'm fine.How gracious of you to concern yourself," Richard said, automatically taking her hand in his and out of long habit raising it gracefully to his lips.

Relena lowered her eyes and felt her stomach heave sickeningly.His sleeve was soaked an unmistakable crimson color.The material appeared damp and heavy with blood.

Ichiban heard her shocked gasp and saw her face turn pale, he tightened his hand on hers as he followed her gaze.Midii's blood, all over him, everywhere.He noticed tiny red droplets on the front of his shirt that matched the deep red that stained his sleeve.He narrowed his golden eyes, his gaze focused on her slender throat. It would be so easy, so easy after what he'd done to kill again.A soft whimper escaped Relena's throat as his hand tightened painfully on hers, drawing her inexorably closer, she could feel the disgusting dampness of his sleeve against the bare skin of her wrist as he held her.

"Relena, are you in here," a feminine voice called from the back of the church.Ichiban raised his eyes and saw a petite dark-haired girl standing in a square of sunlight near the church door, her eyes scanning the interior with seeming amazement.

He thrust Relena away from him roughly and she fell against one of the wooden pews and he ran, not caring who saw him or what they thought.The plan was in motion and nothing could stop it now, at least if he wasn't caught.

Ichiban brushed past the dark-haired pixie that had thwarted his attempt on Relena's life and out a side entrance to the cathedral.

"Stop! Stop or I'll shoot," the girl shouted, but he didn't stop to look and see if she had a weapon and he never heard the sound of a shot.He grinned victoriously, and slowed his pace to a sedate walk as he lost sight of the cathedral, his initial feelings of remorse disappearing as his triumph seemed with in reach.

"Damn," Hilde cursed as she fumbled with her gun; it had gotten caught up in the hidden holster she was wearing.It wouldn't be diplomatic to carry a visible weapon into a church.And had she just cursed?She glanced apologetically toward the altar before remembering Relena.She opened the door and called to Heero.

"Hurry, I need help.Something's happened to Relena," she shouted, before racing to the Vice Foreign Minister's side.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Trowa slipped inside the technician's hangar and peered into the darkness.He had commissioned Wufei to speak to the management and ask them to clear the civilians from the grounds.Between the two of them Wufei was more comfortable flashing his Preventer credentials and giving orders in an appropriately condescending tone.

It was suspiciously dark and quiet inside.Someone should be on duty in here, even on a Sunday morning Trowa thought, forcing himself to concentrate on the mission.He moved silently through the building, most mobile suit hangars were similar in layout and having been a soldier most of his life the lack of light did not deter his exploration.Finally his foot met something that seemed out of place, he nudged the object, it was soft and gave with pressure. He pulled a flashlight from his pocket to investigate and as he flipped it on the entire building flooded with almost-blinding light.

"Congratulations Trowa," Eva said, her voice echoing in the vast empty building."You finally found me."

Wufei watched as the people slowly exited under the direction of the museum's employees.He ignored the continued protests of the director.

"Preventer safety concerns take precedence," he said shortly, as the man continued to complain.Wufei glanced toward the hangar where Trowa had disappeared.It was no surprise that he had shirked this duty of closing down the exhibits.He shrugged, if it was in his power he'd destroy the whole place.He grimaced as he recognized the voice of young Jonathan protesting the park's closing.

"This is so unfair," he squalled, kicking at his mother and tempting Wufei to give the youngster a spanking he'd not soon forget.

Now was his opportunity to contact Heero at least.Midii Une had to be taken care of one way or another.Whether Trowa liked it or not.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Heero carried Relena from the church, ignoring her protests that she was completely fine.

"He surprised me that's all.Something's wrong Heero.There was blood all over him," she said, desperately trying to get him to listen.But he was single-minded.She was going to the hospital if he had to drag her there kicking and screaming.

Heero tossed his cell phone to Quatre."You take charge here," he said briefly."I'll be back as soon as I can.Relena said she saw bloodstains on the suspect.I want the place evacuated.Put Duo on it. The ceremony is cancelled."

Before Quatre could answer or question him, Heero had placed Relena in the passenger's seat of the nearest official car and taken off with her.

Almost as soon as Heero's car disappeared and Quatre had dispatched Hilde to find Duo, Heero's cell phone beeped.Quatre snapped it open.

"Winner," he said.

"Winner," Wufei growled."Where's Heero, this is urgent?"

"Something happened to Miss Relena, it doesn't seem serious but he took her to the hospital," Quatre confided."What's wrong?"

Wufei hesitated, Quatre would be worse than Trowa where Midii Une was concerned.Even the last time he had always stuck up for her and defended her innocence.Still, he had to tell somebody or he wouldn't be doing his duty.

"Send someone over to the hotel immediately and have Midii Une arrested.She's double-crossing us," he said, his eyes on the hangar, half-expecting Trowa to appear to stop him.

"Midii?Wufei that's impossible.Where's Trowa, isn't he with her?I thought that's why he wasn't here this morning," Quatre persisted, a feeling of guilt descending over him.Trowa had needed to talk the other day and he had brushed him off without really listening.What had been happening?

"Just do it Winner, I have to get back to Barton.You'll see when we get back," Wufei snapped, terminating the call as a flash of light sliced through the steel wall of the hangar revealing a black Taurus MD.And it was obviously fully operational.

Screams erupted from the departing crowd and this time it was Jonathan who tugged on his mother's hand, trying to get her to hurry.

His mama had been wrong. The mobile suits could still fire.A wall of red-hot molten metal fell away from the huge hangar building, slamming down so hard that the ground shook.Sparks shot up and flames roared and leapt in jagged crimson and gold spurts.It was awesome and horrific at the same time and he didn't want to look at it anymore.It was nothing like it seemed on TV.The little boy wanted nothing more than to get home. In real life a mobile suit blast was too loud, too bright and too frightening.

Eva smirked as she surveyed the damage and waved the controller teasingly at Trowa.

"It feels so good to destroy, doesn't it Trowa," she asked."You were rather good at this yourself once, weren't you?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Then out of the temple in heaven came another angel, who likewise held a sharp sickle.A second angel, who was in charge of the fire at the altar of incense, cried out in a loud voice to the one who held the sharp sickle, "Use your sharp sickle and gather the grapes from the vines of the earth, for the clusters are ripe."So the angel wielded his sickle over the earth and gathered the grapes of the earth.He threw them into the huge winepress of God's wrath. --REV 15, 17-19

_ _

They'd never heard cool stuff like that in religion class, Duo thought grinning and slamming shut the massive bible that sat on a pedestal.He liked the sound of this angel with a sharp sickle.Sounded like quite a guy.He took a surreptitious sip of the communion wine and straightened his collar.All quiet.Did they really suspect there'd be anything fishy back here with these old guys he wondered, eyeing the boring old priests and bishops and stifling a yawn.

The sacred and somnolent atmosphere was shattered by the slap of running feet on the stone floor and the door burst open to reveal a breathless Hilde.

"Babe!What's wrong," Duo cried, grabbing her in his arms and holding her close as she caught her breath and tried to speak.

"Father Maxwell! Who is this young woman and what is the meaning of this behavior," an older priest asked in a shaking voice.

"Undercover.Preventers," Duo said, pulling his papers from beneath his cassock and flashing them at the startled cleric.

"Duo," Hilde said, her voice low and urgent."You have to get everyone out of here now.We don't know what's going to happen but someone attacked Relena."

"Gotcha babe, leave it to me.Just do me a favor and get the hell out of here yourself," Duo said, grabbing her around the waist and kissing her, his lips reluctantly parting from hers as she turned and dashed out the little door at the side of the vestibule.

He turned to the others.

"What in the name of God is happening here, young man," the archbishop asked.

"It's not happening in God's name, that's for sure," Duo said."You heard the lady, get out of here now, unless you want a glimpse of the hell you've been trying so hard to miss out on."

Duo rushed out to the altar and jogged up the stairs of the wooden pulpit.He pauseda second and gazed out over the gathering crowd.He cleared his throat but the conversational buzz continued.

"HEY!!! Pay attention out there," he yelled, his tone reminiscent of Shinigami's battle cry from a time not too far past.

The congregation grew silent, gazing at the priest with burning violet eyes and the long chestnut braid that swayed a little with the motion of his arms when he spoke.They were not regular churchgoers they were here for an official ceremony.Duo spotted some of the faces from Midii's list and smelled double cross.Looked like the rats were turning on each other.But right now wasn't the time to separate the wheat from the chaff and all that other judgment day stuff.He had to warn everyone, there was no leeway to make distinctions between who was worthy and who wasn't.

"You've all got about one minute to get your asses the hell out of here," he warned, raising his voice and moving his arms as if to encompass all of them."You all know the story about God's wrath and you know not when the hour is coming, don't you?Well head's up people God's wrath is upon you and the hour is now.So get a move on."

They stared at him, some with mouths actually hanging open in wonder.

"This isn't symbolic for Christ's sake," Duo shrieked, staring back at them in disbelief."Run for your goddamned lives."

They moved then, not forgetting to grab up their personal possessions and worldly goods as they exited, Duo noticed.Now it was time to get out himself, he was nowhere near ready to visit hell himself, he turned to take a last look at the sanctuary of the church and automatically made a long-forgotten sign of the cross as his eyes met those of the crucified Christ.He backed right into Quatre.

"Weren't ya listening to my speech Quatre," Duo asked, putting a hand up behind his head."Don't tell me it was all a false alarm?"

Quatre shook his head.They had heard from the hospital.Preliminary results had showed Relena was perfectly fine.But they had performed a rapid test on a bloodstain Ichiban had left on her wrist.

A perfect match for Midii Une.

"You need to get out of here Duo," Quatre said, his voice faltering a little."But on the way out keep an eye out for anybody remaining behind.I think Midii may still be in here."

"Dontcha' think she heard my stirring speech, Quatre," Duo asked, his smile fading at the look on Quatre's face.

"I-I think she may be hurt.The blood Relena saw . . ."

"Shit," Duo said."You think she's already dead?Don't say that, we're not gonna lose anybody today.Do you hear me?"

"Then we need to look for her, but don't take any chances," Quatre said."You take the left side, I'll take the right."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*

Trowa ignored Eva, ignored the sick feeling that he had made a bad choice somewhere along the line that had led him to this point.It was obvious now that the object he had kicked as he investigated the hangar was a body.Automatically he knelt beside it both out of concern and to buy time, to think what to do.

"The boy is dead," Eva said, her smile turning vicious when Trowa finally peered up at her through his bangs.He crouched lightly on his feet prepared to strike if he could.

"As dead as poor Midii must be by now," she continued, watching him sharply. "I'm rather disappointed you didn't kill her yourself for betraying you again Trowa.That would have made my revenge perfect.But then, you don't work that way.What did you plan to do when you got back, I wonder.But sadly now we'll never know."

She pressed a button again, cutting another blazing path through the hangar wall with the suit's beam saber.

"I fooled you, you see.The real show today is back in Brussels," she said, dropping the controller to the floor and crushing it under her three-inch heel as she produced a concealed gun."Did you ever think that the two of you had a very shaky relationship to begin with?What with you being so suspicious and Midii so secretive?But there, I'm speaking ill of the dead and as the winner I shouldn't gloat."

Eva waited.She wanted to see rage, tears, denial.She wanted to feel his hands on her, wanted him to try and punish her before she blew him away.But not even this, it seemed, could touch him.

"Nothing to say Trowa," she said finally, her voice irritated at the emotionless mask that confronted her and the icy silence that filled the hangar."Can't you even cry or question fate?"

The emerald eyes continued glittering at her silently, inscrutable and frightening, like a wild creature patiently waiting for her to make a mistake.But she wouldn't, Eva told herself, unwillingly dropping her eyes from his then raising them back again defiantly.

"A viszontlátásra,[1]" she whispered, aiming her gun at him, hesitating with her shot as he continued to stare at her as if nothing in this world had ever mattered or been worth living for.

As she continued to stare at him Trowa finally reached and grabbed her wrist with an iron grasp, pulling her hand forward till the barrel pressed against his chest point blank.

"What are you waiting for," he asked, his voice as casual as if he were asking a stranger the time of day."I am already dead."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Midii," Quatre screamed, his footsteps and voice echoing through the cavernous stone cathedral, his voice small and lost in the huge building as the last of the people evacuated.Was she still here somewhere?Had she ever been here?

Duo's figure grew smaller as he checked for stragglers and signs of Midii and Quatre turned back in the other direction.A dark room glowing with candlelight was situated behind the altar, it beckoned.He almost forgot he had to hurry, the atmosphere was so serene and peaceful here.

In a dim corner a pale figure knelt, the candlelight flickering on its features and making it seem almost alive.Before Quatre could even feel relief that he'd found Midii at last he realized it was only a marble saint's statue.A trick of the light and his own desperation had fooled him momentarily.Time grew short but the statue seemed to draw him and he crossed the small room to examine it. It was a woman, kneeling in prayer, a penitent expression on her delicate, beautifully carved face.Her head was bent and a tear trickled down the perfect marble cheek, framed by long, sculpted waves of hair.

Midii, he thought wonderingly.The statue captured her beauty and sorrow in a way that was uncanny. The candlelight flickered on a gold plate at the base of the sculpture. 

Mary Magdalene.

Pain, pain tinged with regret, deep sorrow and unfulfilled love crashed over him like a wave and he clutched his hands over his heart.It was like contact, but not directly.An echo of a pleading voice begging for help.

He backed slowly out of the little side chapel and inhaled deeply, the incense-laden air and the sensation of pain he had felt made him almost dizzy. She was here, he was certain now but the cathedral was sprawling and full of other dark and tiny alcoves lit only by flickering votives.

Quatre continued walking rapidly and finally saw a doorway covered with heavy plastic to seal it off from the rest of the building and a construction sign. The Chapel of Our Lady of Redemption.There was a picture of what the chapel would look like when it was completely renovated.He glanced at the clear, heavy plastic as he rushed by, calling out for Midii again.A splotch of red showed through the plastic and Quatre heard the church bell ring, the beginning of the noon bells, the midii bells. 

Dorothy, he thought.He had to leave now or risk breaking the heart of the one he loved most.But the emotions he had felt in the little chapel to the Christian saint and what he dreaded finding behind the wall of plastic beckoned like a siren's call.He turned back and pulled at the plastic enough so he could enter the chapel

The red was her blood, Midii's blood pooling around her pale body.He didn't

even hear the bells anymore as he gazed at her in horror.

Dead, she was already dead, the sunlight streamed through the newly-installed stained glass window casting an unearthly radiance over her still body. Her hand lay limp and

tucked inside it a timed detonating device lay blinking at him.He could stop

it, he thought crazily, somehow turn off the switch.The huge bells rocked and chimed 10.Quatre reached for the device, it felt warm, warm from her hand. 

It blinked 12:00, as if in warning.

"Midii," he whispered, looking at her again as the bells continued to clang, he thought he saw her chest move, perhaps an illusion of the wavering colored light.He looked down at the device in his hand and the bell tolled 12 and Quatre heard a faraway rumble as a chain reaction of explosions rocked the building.

Next time on The Price of Redemption . . . Chapter 11 . . . Cathrine arrives in Brussels . . . Relena has news for Heero . . . a grief-stricken Dorothy rages.

[1] farewell

AN:Again, in the Cathedral of St. Michael in Brussels there really is a chapel dedicated to Mary Magdalene, the statue is fictional unfortunately.The comparison of Midii to Mary Magdalene is inspired by the fanfiction of Karan Seraph, she gives Midii the alias Magdalene Noinori in her wonderful stories.Check out my websites for a link to Seraph's great writings!


	11. Chapter 11

Important Author's Note: The Price of Redemption: Chapter 11  
  
On September 11, 2001 a group of terrorists hijacked four American planes and took  
the passengers on suicide missions targeting such landmarks as the World Trade Center  
towers in New York City and the Pentagon in Washington D.C. Thousands of lives  
were lost.  
  
Gundam Wing fans by their nature are part of a group interested in analyzing the  
effects of war on various people, from the common man, to the soldiers to the leaders  
who make decisions which affect everyone in the universal struggle to attain peace.  
  
The Price of Redemption is a Gundam Wing fanfiction which, in part, undertook to  
study the effect of terrorist actions on a world which had just recently acquired a sense  
of that peace after a long, terrible struggle.  
  
This story, and specifically Chapter 11 which contains plot points very similar to what  
happened in the United States on September 11, 2002, was begun months before the  
tragedy occurred. Chapter 11 was originally published on March 14, 2001. After the  
tragedy I removed the chapter from the internet, unsure of whether it would be  
appropriate to keep this part of the story intact. After input from readers and careful  
thought I decided to restore the chapter as it was with the addition of this dedication  
page.  
  
Before reading this chapter, take a moment to remember what was lost on September  
11, 2001. Keep the victims and their families and the heroes in your hearts and prayers.  
  
--Midii Une  
January 9, 2002  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Price of Redemption  
By Midii Une  
  
Chapter 11  
  
  
Mathematics. Architecture. An in-depth knowledge of these two sciences was not exactly mandatory for a mobile suit pilot. Even for a Gundam pilot. Of course rudimentary mathematics was a necessity, but Quatre had shown during the battle against  
Dekim Barton's forces that he had an amazing ability to calculate even the most difficult equations in the space of an instant.  
  
The ominous rumbling continued, coming closer and closer as he stood looking down at the woman that meant everything to his best friend. As much as he'd always wanted him to find happiness he'd never dreamed he'd ever see Trowa the way he'd been with Midii. He couldn't leave here her even if she were dead. But that was beside the point, they were trapped anyway.  
  
His usually gentle aquamarine eyes narrowed and his gaze intensified as billows of dust came up from the trembling floor and the noise outside the chapel became deafening. All of this occurring in a matter of seconds that seemed to drag as death approached. How many buildings had he seen demolished, whether in battle or while clearing space on resource satellites? What were their chances?  
  
He raised his eyes heavenward and he glimpsed blue sky through a thick white fog. The roof was noting more than heavy plastic over the ceiling, replacing the ancient wood timbers had been removed and were going to be replaced. It was a chance. The glass of the window could be as deadly as the heavy stones but again the chances were better beneath it. The stained glass was less of a threat than shards of plate glass would have been.   
  
"We'll make it," he thought, his hope bolstered as much by a spirit that never gave up as by the actual circumstances that seemed in their favor.  
  
The force of the explosion propelled him as he jumped to cover Midii's body with his own. He pressed his head against her chest and wrapped his arms around her limp body. Quatre thought he could make out a fading, erratic heartbeat, so very different from the strong pulse of life that had throbbed in Dorothy's chest as he rested against her after their lovemaking just hours before.  
  
This was like some nightmarish parody of that beautiful moment, he thought, focusing his thoughts on Dorothy as he pressed his face into the curve of Midii's neck. I love you Dorothy. She had to know that, she had to.  
  
A fury of sound and light swept over the two of them and carried them into blackness . . .   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Orange flame and charcoal-colored smoke blasted into the air and even at his distance from the cathedral Ichiban could hear the sickening roar as thousands of years of history, worship and beauty collapsed in upon itself with a dreadful finality.  
  
He leaned casually on the railing of a felicitously located bridge, the perfect spot to view the accomplishment of a lifetime. He had pulled it off. Richard held binoculars up to his face and watched the swirling dust cloud; he stared at the unsettling empty space in the skyline of Brussels. The awe-inspiring twin towers of the Cathedral of St. Michael's absent for the first time in so many centuries. To the people of the city it must seem like a nightmare, an illusion that could not possibly be true. The spires had always been there and suddenly they were no more.  
  
The fall of a great building and, he hoped, the fall of the entire world government and the Preventer organization as well. He had planned it so that a great number of important people would be inside when the place exploded. And when they finally discovered poor Midii's body they would find the detonator in her hand. Preventer had put her in a osition of trust and it would look like she'd betrayed them with the ultimate act of terrorism then gotten caught in her own trap, unable to escape before the blast caught up with her.  
  
A feeling of intense satisfaction replaced the lingering regret that he had killed Midii. In a way she was with him in this whether that had been her intent or not. When his clique came to power and the economy was restored by the threat of international terrorism his poor dead love would not have lost her life in vain. For him it was a very good cause indeed.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Duo looked around him wildly, counting heads and coughing as dust and debris rained down on the strangely quiet circle of people that stood beyond the force of the blast. He saw Heero jump out of a car without putting it into park and the vehicle careened madly into a fire hydrant, sending up a fountain of water that sparkled in sunlight that filtered through the haze that filled the air. That was so ludicrous and so not Heero, Duo thought. But he couldn't laugh, couldn't even feel. Dread overwhelmed every other sense until he met a pair of vivid, sea-blue eyes wet with tears of horror and disbelief and he found  
what he'd been looking for.  
  
Hilde. She was safe; she'd made it out. He'd been certain she'd left when he told her to but stranger things had happened to him in this life. Silently she went into his arms and silently he held onto her as if she was the edge of a cliff and he was hanging on for his very survival. His grip hurt but Hilde didn't complain. Duo was alive, for a horrible minute she hadn't known where he was.  
  
The unnatural silence gave way to a cacophony of sound: sirens, alarms, screams and tears as shock gave way to sorrowful acknowledgment.  
  
And on the edge of it all she stood.  
  
Alone. Alone, even in the pressing crowd of people.  
  
Dorothy Catalonia refused to give in to the fear that pressed down on her with claustrophobic intensity. It was chaos, people were running everywhere and there was no organization. The perimeter of the Cathedral was massive, several city blocks, and  
there were more than a dozen exits.  
  
Quatre wasn't dead.  
  
She'd feel his touch on her arm in a second and she'd make a spectacle of herself like Hilde Maxwell. She tried to feel superior and believe she'd act in a much more dignified manner but she had to admit she was about ready to drop her pretenses and act like a complete idiot.  
  
What was taking him so long? It wasn't like him to be so inconsiderate and worry her like this. If only he would come.  
  
"Hurry Quatre," unconsciously she spoke aloud. But no one appeared. He didn't come.  
  
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Heero talking to Duo. Hilde still had her arms wrapped around Duo's neck like she would never let go. They all looked at her and she saw the oddest expression on Heero's face.   
  
Dorothy's eyes flew to the crumbling ruins. She scanned the crowd again with a desperation in her heart she'd never felt before. She started trembling, tears were burning in her chest but she wouldn't let them out. To cry now would be to give in, to stop believing. He had gotten out. He had.  
  
Dorothy backed away as Heero started toward her, refusing to meet his eyes as he drew closer. If he talked to her he would break her concentration and she would lose Quatre, she was certain of that, she felt it so strongly deep within her. If only no one spoke to her she could still believe and he would never be gone. As Heero approached an emergency worker stopped him.  
  
"Did everybody get out," the man asked, drawn automatically to the stern looking young man was apparently in charge. He had the look of no-nonsense authority clinging to him despite his youth.  
  
'We've got two people missing," Heero said. His mind raced with the thought that he had left with Relena; he had put Quatre in charge. He would not lose Quatre. It was unacceptable. "I believe they're still inside. I want your best effort; get dogs in  
here, the best international rescue teams. But get them out of there."  
  
The man hesitated. The Preventer was crazy. Maybe they were his people, but didn't he realize they had to be dead?  
  
As if he read the man's traitorous thoughts, Heero fisted his hand in the emergency worker's shirt and pulled him close, there was determination in his eyes and blossoming anger too. Like Dorothy he had to believe that if he acted in a prescribed manner  
and if he made all the correct commands his mission would be a success. It had always been that way; it was how he had been conditioned. "Now," he said, the single word and the tone of his voice propelling the man to action.  
  
Dorothy stared at the rubble, Heero's words repeating echoing through her thoughts. He meant Quatre. Quatre was missing. In there? Nothing could be alive in there, but if he were she'd dig him out with her bare hands.  
  
"Dorothy," Heero said, struggling to inject kindness and pity into his voice. He avoided Dorothy when he could, he didn't like the way she had behaved toward Relena during the war. That was something he found hard to forget, even her actions with White Fang were more easily forgiven.  
  
But this was for Quatre and basic human pity stirred in him as well. Relena was opening him up to every emotion and feeling that had been repressed. And there was guilt besides; he should have been in there, not Quatre. Maybe he would have been  
better equipped, he would have survived. Duo had told him Quatre was looking for Midii and if that was true then he was still in there. Heero knew Quatre would never leave if anyone he cared for were in danger. He himself would have calculated the risks and he also would have realized from the amount of blood that Relena had seen that the odds were overwhelming that Midii had probably been dead long before Quatre ever set foot in the building.  
  
He suddenly wondered where the hell Trowa and Wufei were. Their absence and what was happening were connected somehow.  
  
"Dorothy," he said again, putting a hand on her arm and wishing Relena were here. Relena liked Dorothy, had forgiven Dorothy. She could have helped her; it was what Quatre would have wanted. He didn't even realize himself that he was thinking of Quatre in the past tense.  
  
"Get away from me," Dorothy spat, yanking her arm from Heero's strangely gentle grasp. "I need to find Quatre."  
  
She darted toward the collapsed building and started scrambling over a fallen pillar to get inside, ignoring the dirt and sharp edges that tore at her expensive silk dress and cut into her hands, making them bleed. Heero and Duo dashed after her and pulled her back, their combined strength barely restraining her.  
  
Dorothy started screaming.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Eva snarled in frustration. There was no satisfaction in her revenge. Trowa's willingness to die without even a protest infuriated her. Who was Midii Une to inspire such devotion? That a man would die because she no longer lived? He was a soldier, a  
man who'd survived a horrible war. Was he just going to stand there and let her kill him? Because Midii was gone?  
  
She couldn't pull away even if she wanted to; she felt the small bones in her wrist crack painfully under the pressure of his grip.  
  
And she knew then that she had never been loved like this. Never been someone's heart and soul and reason for being. Stefan had loved her body but never her. Tears streaked her cheeks as her finger trembled nervously on the trigger.  
  
Wufei crept silently through the hangar, glancing warily at the mobile doll. The dead green eyes still glowed. The thing was still active, meanwhile Trowa was apparently trying to stare down that partner of Ichiban's. It was time, in his opinion, to move  
things along. She was a threat that had to be terminated. No more games, no more subterfuge. Things had gone too far for the type of games Midii Une and lately even Sally herself had seemed so fond of playing.  
  
He took careful aim and fired at a spot between Eva's shoulder blades. At the sound Trowa glanced up and his grip on her wrist loosened a bit, her body jolted as the bullet impacted her. Her arm jerked up and her fingers clenched as she fell, pressing the trigger and firing the gun she held. Her final act. She was dead before she hit the floor, tears still wet on her cheeks.  
  
The bullet ripped up through Trowa's collarbone, throwing him back onto the concrete floor.  
  
Wufei glanced at the woman sprawled on the floor. No question. She was dead. He reached over and closed the lids of her staring black eyes, before turning his attention to Trowa.  
  
The other pilot was sitting up, ignoring the blood that soaked his jacket, not even lifting a hand to put pressure on the wound.  
  
"Is he in shock," Wufei wondered impatiently. A soft, but unmistakable, beeping distracted him and he automatically flattened himself on the floor as the mobile doll shot a blast through the open wall and decimated a cluster of mobile suits that were part  
of the display.  
  
It had adjusted to the destruction of the programmer Eva had crushed. How were they supposed to stop it? He looked at the dazed Trowa and the shattered remote on the floor. His instincts recovered quickly and a plan formed in his mind before he even picked himself up off the floor and made his way over to the other pilot.  
  
"Its target is the other suits," he explained. "I'll fight it in one of the disabled suits. But Trowa you have to get up there and disarm it."  
  
"Trowa," he repeated. "Can you do it?"  
  
He looked in those green eyes and was horrified by what he saw, nothing, less than nothing. Was he hurt more seriously than he appeared? It looked like little more than a nasty flesh wound, but his expression made it appear he'd been hit in the heart. His face and eyes drained of every human emotion but intense pain. He didn't even look human . . .   
  
Another blast went past them, so close they could feel the blistering heat as it went by. Trowa didn't flinch.  
  
"What's the matter with you," Wufei shouted, forgetting Trowa's wound and grabbing him by both shoulders to shake him.  
  
The intense physical pain broke through the cloud over Trowa's mind. His thoughts ran over and over the same lines. Why wasn't he dead? How could she have missed?  
  
"Trowa," Wufei insisted, biting back his pride. He had to admit he couldn't pull this off alone. "I can't do this without you."  
  
He nodded, barely. It had to be enough, Wufei thought, leaving him there and clambering up into the first undamaged mobile suit he came upon. He strapped himself into the cockpit, a feeling of degradation washed over him momentarily at having to  
fight in such a suit. In a suit with no power, he could only move and defend. In a way though it was a hell of a challenge, a challenge worthy of Nataku's spirit.  
  
He stalked toward the mobile doll, agilely avoiding the blasts and maneuvering behind it, gripping it in a giant bear hug and holding it immobile. He wouldn't be able to keep it up long, he could only hope the injured Trowa could manage to get up and disable the rampaging suit. There were still people out there, gawking at the scene and if he could help it there would be no civilian casualties on his watch, no matter how foolish their behavior. They had been ordered to leave after all.  
  
A flash of movement at the corner of his visual monitor caught his eye as Trowa seemingly defied gravity and flew up to the dangling mechanic's cable of the Taurus MD pushing his perfectly-toned body into a stunning one-handed vault. Wufei strained  
to hold the mobile doll a little longer, the arms of his mobile suit screeching with the pressure. He gritted his teeth and unconsciously emitted a low growl of anger and frustration. It was taking too long. The mobile doll inexorably strained against  
the confining grasp of Wufei's mobile suit, intent on its programmed mission. Wufei fell back, his suit clattering to the floor with a resounding boom, his head snapping forward painfully on his neck. He saw a familiar red glow as the mobile doll's beam rifle  
powered to life. What dishonor to die like this, he thought, more upset by the humiliating manner of his demise than the actual thought of death itself.   
  
The glow brightened and then faded. Wufei breathed again and caught a glimpse of Trowa landing on his feet nearby, a handful of wires dropping from his hand and landing in a colorful heap on the concrete floor.  
  
Applause and raucous cheers rose from the crowd outside the sealed gates. They'd seen a whole lot more than they bargained for that day.  
  
Wufei looked at Trowa and there was a rare gleam of admiration in his eyes. He was a true soldier, efficient and unflinching even as he bled. A doctor emerged from the crowd and someone let him through the gate, he started giving preliminary attention to Trowa's wound, Trowa didn't try to stop him or speak to him.  
  
"Trowa," Wufei questioned again, he couldn't shake the idea that something more than the bullet wound was wrong with him. He hadn't made any move to fight off that crazed, dark-haired bitch.  
  
"Midii's gone," Trowa finally said, his face paling but he remained unflinching as the doctor probed the wound and announced the bullet had passed right through, knicking but not shattering the bone.  
  
"What," Wufei asked.  
  
"We have to return to Brussels," Trowa said, apparently not in the mood to explain what he'd just said. "Can you get in touch with Heero? Something's going to happen, we have to stop it."  
  
Wufei looked a bit shame-faced, he had gone behind Trowa's back on this.  
  
"I talked to Quatre not half an hour ago," Wufei said. "Everything was fine. I did what I thought was best. I told them to take her into custody Trowa. It was what had to be done, you weren't thinking right . . . "  
  
The buzz of Wufei's phone startled both of them and deep in Trowa's soul hope stirred. Had Quatre gotten to Midii before Ichiban? He would have protected her. Quatre knew, he was the only one who really knew what she meant to him. Not even she really knew and even if she never forgave his betrayal she had to be safe . . . she would have been safe with Quatre.  
  
"A bomb," Wufei gasped, clicking off the connection. A Preventer agent had finally tracked his signal and contacted them. "They blew up the Cathedral, it was supposed to go off with everyone inside . . ."  
  
Outrage filled his deep black eyes as he looked with disgust at the dead woman on the floor.  
  
"How many dead," Trowa asked, the tragedy eclipsing his personal concerns momentarily.  
  
"Maxwell got the civilians out, they had enough warning," Wufei said uneasily, hesitating with his next words then deciding just to blurt it out. There was no good way to say these things and death was something they all had lived with for so long.  
  
"Quatre and Midii are missing. Trowa, they're pretty sure they got caught in the blast."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sally insisted on joining the rescue team, regardless of the protests of the others. Heero was already inside, climbing easily over the broken stones, heading toward the section of the cathedral where Duo had last seen Quatre. At least they had somewhere to start. Still there was danger from stones teetering precariously throughout the building, just waiting to fall. The sound of the stones falling continually punctuated the stillness with awful, bone-jarring crashes.  
  
Duo and Hilde stayed with Dorothy in uncomfortable silence. Sally had finally threatened to sedate her and her fury had subsided to glares, her fists were tightly clenched, thin trickles of blood rolled down her palms from her nails cutting into the soft  
flesh. She stared unblinking at the ruined building, as if she were concentrating all her formidable will on Quatre's survival. Duo wondered uneasily how long they could contain her.  
  
"That goddamn phone," she hissed suddenly, breaking free of Duo's comforting embrace, an embrace that doubled as a restraint to keep her out of trouble. "He still has Heero's cell phone."  
  
"Yeah," Duo said, not understanding right away. "He probably does."  
  
His voice was patient and he talked to Dorothy as if she were a small child.  
  
"Don't patronize me, damn you," Dorothy shrieked, pulling completely from his arms with almost superhuman strength. She balled her fist and punched the stunned Duo in the face, blood poured from his nose.  
  
"Now," she said, breathing heavily, her lavender eyes glinting with fire, "you call Heero and tell him to call his cell phone. They might be able to hear it and find Quatre. They need to find him . . . they need to . . . they have to . . ."  
  
Her voice trailed off and the energy borne of her fury and desperation gave out. She broke down into sobs finally, a dam burst of tears. This had to work; this had to be the key. Please, she begged, supplicating the souls of her father, grandfather and even her cousin Treize to help her in her most painful hour. Please . . . .   
  
Tears of sympathy and her own pent-up sorrow rolled down Hilde's pale cheek and she pulled Dorothy to her in a close embrace, crooning softly and wordlessly as she rocked the other girl and cried into her hair. She glanced up at Duo who stared at the both of them and tried to staunch the flow of blood that streamed from his nose.  
  
"Do what she said, Duo," Hilde whispered. "Do it now."  
  
Duo tipped back his head to stop the bleeding and pressed the button to connect with Heero inside.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
The rescue team looked at each other in wonder as a soft trilling sound emanated faintly from behind a wall of fallen stone. Heero pushed himself up, placing his foot on a smoothly polished stone carved with the word Redemption, there was a space in  
the rubble higher up and he struggled to reach it, dreading to look beyond to where the cell phone buzzed incessantly, dreading what he'd see.  
  
Sunlight streamed through the broken walls, pouring radiantly through the tiny spaces in the stone as if they were heavy black clouds. Broken glass was strewn everywhere, the colors like jewels glittering in the tiny sunbeams. It was somehow so beautiful, like a dark cave full of soft light and sparkling treasure and in the center he saw them. Quatre was sprawled over Midii, the stained glass shimmering over both of them. There was no movement but he couldn't see much in the dim light, only that they were there.  
  
"Get this wall down," he said, his voice controlled. "They're in there."  
  
Sally met his eyes, afraid to speak. "I don't know. I couldn't tell. It's possible," he said in answer to her unasked question.   
  
"We've got an opening," the rescue supervisor shouted, pulling their attention back to the wall. It was small, but Heero had always been a bit smaller than average, his muscles thin and wiry. It was enough space for him to slip through and he left Sally with a look that spoke volumes.  
  
After he slipped through they continued widening the opening enough so the others could gain access. Heero hesitated and knelt beside Quatre, this close he could see the dark, spreading bloodstain on the floor that seemed to be coming from Midii. He reached out to brush off some of the glass, transformed by the blast into pieces as small as sand, from Quatre's back, he let his fingers settle on the ripped, blood-speckled shirt that covered him.  
  
"Get in here," he yelled. "Quatre's still alive. Call back to Duo."  
  
He moved away, afraid to feel much confidence, he didn't know how bad the damage was. His foot kicked a small cylindrical object and he bent to pick it up and found his fingers touching Midii's. He couldn't see much of her, but her skin was cold and  
deathly pale. What happened, he wondered, his analytical soldier's mind could not make sense of the fact that she was here and Trowa had done nothing to stop it? Automatically his hand slid up to her wrist.   
  
Nothing. Had she been alive when the explosion occurred? Quatre had thought so; he'd tried to protect her, sacrificed himself. Heero's eyes narrowed and he pressed her wrist harder. It was faint and irregular, but there was something there, a  
spark of life that seemed to be ebbing fast.  
  
He heard Sally's frightened sob behind him as the rest of them poured through the opening the rescue team had managed create. She came and knelt beside him, taking Midii's hand in hers.  
  
"I thought I felt something," Heero said, looking at Sally's hopeless tear-stained face.  
  
"She's not going to make it," Sally said, after a moment. "There's a faint pulse but she won't last till we get her out of here."  
  
"That's not true," Heero insisted. "Quatre didn't go through this for nothing."  
  
"Midii," Sally whispered, squeezing the hand she held as Heero helped move Quatre. "Please."  
  
"We've got a bleeder," a voice exclaimed. "We need you here Sally!"  
  
Sally sprang up, dropping Midii's hand and rushing to Quatre's side. "More light," Sally ordered and she saw that when they'd lifted a beam off his arm the limb had started bleeding, the beam had been acting as a tourniquet. Quatre's left arm had been  
nearly severed. Carefully they lifted him off Midii and onto a stretcher.  
  
"There are doctors out there," Sally said, pulling her belt off and strapping it on Quatre's arm as a makeshift tourniquet. "He'll be alright. I'll stay here until they get her out. You go with him Heero."  
  
Heero nodded and Sally rushed back to Midii her eyes meeting the paramedics. One was counting, the other performing CPR in a desperate attempt to regain the pulse beat they'd been picking up.  
  
He stopped as Sally approached.  
  
"I'm sorry, we lost her," he said, looking sadly down at the girl on the floor, even the tiny flicker of heartbeat had stopped. She had been so young.  
  
"No," Sally said. "No!"  
  
She pushed the paramedic aside and started pounding on Midii's chest. "You can't die now. Not now. Midii, you made it this far. Do you hear me? Help me out, just breathe. We'll help you, but you have to help us. Breathe, damnit."  
  
She glared at the men surrounding her. "I'm, not going to give up. I can't," she said. One paramedic nodded and started pumping the manual oxygen mask he'd placed over Midii's face.  
  
"C'mon sweetheart you can do it," he whispered. "Listen to Sally." He pressed the bag rhythmically while Sally pounded, sweat beading on her face.  
  
The stunned crowd dispersed only slightly as a helicopter touched down outside the disaster scene. Trowa and Wufei, jumped out. The sight left them speechless; the total destruction of the huge building was almost incomprehensible. The two years  
since the end of the war had made them forget that such things were possible and the memories came back as hard-hitting as a blind punch to the gut.  
  
Dorothy turned at the sound of the helicopter, lifting her tear-streaked face from Hilde's shoulder.  
  
Trowa.  
  
This was all Trowa's fault. Where had he been? This was because of him somehow; she could read it on his pale, stricken face.  
  
She rose unsteadily to her feet, a trembling hand reaching to push the tangled strands of her hair away from her damp face. She wanted to hurt him; she wanted to kill him . . .   
  
"Dorothy," Duo yelled back from the entrance. "Quatre's alive. They're bringing him out.  
  
She whirled, forgetting Trowa and ran toward the entrance.  
  
"Oh God, Oh God," she whispered, her relief and happiness shattered by what she saw. He was unconscious and there was so much blood.  
  
"Quatre! Please, please, don't leave me," she whispered, her face hardening and her voice changing, the tone of command she'd used on Libra returning as she gave her orders to the medical team. "You will do everything possible. He has to be alright."  
  
Heero put a hand on her arm to help her into the back of the ambulance.  
  
"They think he'll be fine Dorothy," he said.  
  
"He'd better be," she said bitterly. "It shouldn't have been Quatre. You know that Heero." She looked over Heero's shoulder and met Trowa's stunned eyes. "You know it too."  
  
The ambulance pulled away and Heero turned to Trowa. He had so many questions he didn't even know where to start and he was sure Trowa had questions for him. Questions he didn't want to answer. His com unit beeped and he snapped it open in irritation, holding Trowa's eyes with his, asking him silently to wait.  
  
"Yuy," he said, his tone indicating this had better be important.  
  
"This is Anderson inside the site," the speaker said, his voice cracking with sadness. "Can you get in here? Preventer Water's breaking down. We lost that girl, hell she was barely alive in the first place, but Sally won't stop. She . . .anyway, we just want to get them both out of here. It's dangerous, there's still a lot of falling debris. But Sally won't quit. We need you in here."  
  
"I read you," Heero said, glancing at Trowa, who stared at him trying to decipher the conversation. "I'll be right in."  
  
"Is it Midii," Trowa asked, reading the answer in Heero's eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry Trowa," Heero said. "Quatre tried. Sally tried. There was nothing they could do . . . I'm going in to get Sally. She's taking it badly."  
  
He eyed Trowa suspiciously but he was oddly calm.  
  
"Can I come with you," he asked and Heero nodded.  
  
They disappeared inside the building.  
  
Sally continued pounding on Midii's chest; she grimaced as she felt one of her desperate blows crack a rib.  
  
"Please, Midii. Please," she repeated over and over. It couldn't end this way, but she was getting so tired, she was getting sloppy. She slammed down once more with both hands and collapsed sobbing on Midii's chest.  
  
She was really dead.  
  
Sally heard a commotion near the opening and glanced up.   
  
"Trowa," she whispered, lifting her sad blue eyes to meet his questioning gaze.  
  
She put a hand up suddenly, stopping him from speaking, pressing her head closer to Midii's chest. It came again; she heard a thump, then silence, and then faintly another struggling heartbeat. Her eyes widened and her strength renewed.  
  
"We've got her back," she cried.  
  
"She's not breathing," Anderson said, looking at her with growing concern. She was taking this case so personally. "Sally, give it up."  
  
"Listen to this," Sally growled, pulling Anderson's head down on Midii's chest and glaring at him.  
  
He smiled slowly. "By God, you did get her going after all," he said, looking at Sally in awe, he put his hands on either side of her face and kissed her fiercely on the lips before he started shouting orders.   
  
"Bag her, let's go, her heart's going but she's still not getting any air," he said, his words terse but given with an air of authority and confidence that inspired his team. "Stabilize her and move her now. We don't want to waste Sally's miracle."  
  
Trowa tried to push through, he had to see, had to see the rise of her chest. Over and over they'd said she was dead, but now had she forgiven him? Had she made a conscious decision to stay? Her heart had started beating again when Sally said his name. Had that really been what brought her back or was it his own conceit that Midii would love him always, no matter what?  
  
It was his fault this had happened to her. There had still been anger buried in his soul because of what she'd done so long ago. But now he knew what it was like to want someone's forgiveness and love so badly that it eclipsed all other feeling. She had  
felt this way for him but he hadn't been able to truly love and forgive her past. Until now. And now, if she woke up, he wasn't sure if she'd ever want to see his face again.  
  
  
How had she stood it? His distrust, his constant suspicion and his refusal to ever totally give in to the love he couldn't help but feel for her. Love he admitted he'd been ashamed to feel, as if she hadn't been worthy. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to take it if she opened her eyes and looked at him. If when he met those eyes again they were cold and devoid of emotion.  
  
Everything died. Even the strongest love, and she had put up with so much from him. Did he even dare to hope for another chance?  
  
He shouldered past the tightly clustered rescue workers, drawn inexorably toward her still form. Sally had said she was alive but the atmosphere still seemed electric with urgency. Finally he squeezed himself in through a small gap and his heart seemed to stop beating as he saw her there. He knew then that even if she forgave him he would never forgive himself for this. Midii lay there frail and broken, they'd already started an emergency transfusion because she'd lost so much blood, it stained the floor red around her and the thick gauze pad they'd taped to the side of her face was already splotched with crimson. She was wearing a white dress, a dress he loved seeing her in, she looked like an angel in it. He'd told her that, hadn't he, how he thought she was like an angel? He couldn't remember.  
  
"Midii," he croaked, taking a step closer, a metallic clang sounding as something skittered across the floor as it made contact with his foot. He dragged his eyes away from the pitiful sight of the woman he loved and he tracked the object that made the sound. It was a bricklayer's trowel, sharp and heavy, its edge stained dark red with dry blood. He couldn't tear his eyes away from it.   
  
"Buddy," an annoyed voice yelled, breaking through his thoughts. "Get your ass out of the way, we've got to get this girl to the hospital. She'll die if we don't and we're not gonna lose her cause you're standing around sightseeing!"  
  
Heero stepped over and pulled Trowa out of their path and Sally approached him, concern in her tired sapphire eyes.  
  
"Trowa? You're hurt. What happened," Sally asked, her eyes flicking over his injury in a quick, professional assessment.  
  
She gasped aloud when he raised his eyes to hers; she had never seen such naked hurt and guilt in anyone's face.   
  
"You're not blaming yourself, Trowa," she said, grabbing his uninjured arm.  
  
He swallowed and looked at the floor, she followed his gaze to the bloodstained tool on the floor. Tears filled her eyes.  
  
"Trowa," Heero said, his voice harsher than he intended, but it wasn't safe here. Everything was still so unstable. "I'll take you to the hospital. Midii needs you. Quatre needs you."  
  
He went with Heero without protest, only too glad to leave that horrible bloodstained room behind.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
They were calling it a miracle. It wasn't by chance. Lady Une had released the information they had about the explosion to the media herself. And she had learned from the best how to put the proper spin on what the public saw. Her organization would  
survive this tragedy, become even stronger and more indispensable to the public because of it.  
  
The Miracle of St. Michael's. She smiled to herself. Mr. Treize would have approved her choice of words. He had invoked the deity often, made it seem as if God were on his side and the people had believed him, inspired more by Treize's charisma than belief in a faraway God.  
  
The unhesitating sacrifice of the two Preventer agents sent in to find the detonator and their amazing survival in the face of certain death would inspire the people of the United Earth Nation far better than anything she could have planned. And the perpetrator Richard Ichiban would be a hunted man. The people that had supported him, their names supplied by one of the injured agents, had already been arrested and made full confessions.  
  
For who would dare question the word of a young woman who had almost become a martyr for peace? No need to tell the whole story, the sordid tale of Midii's past sexual involvement with Ichiban and his vengeful attempt to murder her and pin the blame on Preventer. That would cause doubts in the mind of the people. Lady Une's story would become unquestionable fact.  
  
The smiling faces of Quatre and Midii flashed on every video screen, on every city on Earth and the colonies. Lady Une couldn't have asked for a more perfect blonde and blue-eyed poster couple. And the name Preventer was synonymous with hero again, even as the title Gundam pilot had been revered after the Eve Wars.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ichiban stared at the huge vidscreen in the central atrium of the spaceport.  
  
A miracle? It was impossible. She had been dead. He thought of how he'd left Midii and his stomach twisted queasily. So much blood and the gaping wound the trowel had left at the side of her head, she had to be dead! When the giddy, vacuous newscasters stopped chattering about their precious miracle he saw his own face and Eva's appear on the screen, the two of them looking dark and conniving after all the wholesome shots some public relations' genius had planted of the Preventers heroes. Someone had twisted everything. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. They'd all been arrested, every man  
who'd been in that room the night of the reception. Darling Midii had obviously been taking attendance despite her heartache over her treacherous Papa.  
  
He learned that Eva was not only late for their rendezvous; she was permanently "late." She had failed, even as he had. The excited news reporters gushed over how thousands had been saved by the fortuitous appearance of two Preventer agents that morning at the museum in Blankenberge.  
  
"This Sunday has truly been a day for miracles," the reporters gloated. A good day for news too, their ratings would go through the roof.  
  
So he would have to disappear, Richard thought, his quick brain continuing to plan even as his hopes and dreams seemed to be shattered around him. He so wished he could stop by the hospital to pay his respects but time did not allow. He'd send flowers instead and he would never, never forget.  
  
Ichiban ducked into the men's room and pulled off his jacket, discarding the bloodstained shirt deep in a trash container. He slicked back his dark hair with water and adjusted his sunglasses. They were probably all at the hospital waiting for word on their friends. The perfect Preventers would be paralyzed for the moment. He had time to escape, time to regroup, before planning his next move.  
  
Perhaps Stefan had been right and Midii did have nine lives like a cat, but eventually she'd run out of luck. He only prayed that he stayed alive till that day came.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Cathrine sat in the comfortably cushioned seat of an earth-bound shuttle, unaware as her fingernails tore at the fabric of the chair until tiny pieces of the foam padding were balled in her fists.  
  
War again, or at least the threat of it; coming to torment her and the ones she loved. She had no idea what had actually happened. News headlines focused on heroism and the miraculous nature of Midii and Quatre's survival. But there was no actual mention of their condition and she had heard nothing from or about Trowa.  
  
She would have a few choice words for the people who had done this to him. Why now, when he had finally found happiness at last, she wondered sadly, her sadness tinged with anger at the injustice of it all.   
  
He and Midii had suffered enough and so had she. She had had enough of seeing the ones she loved torn apart and almost killed for the sake of keeping the peace. With much difficulty she kept her temper, but woe to the first person she met that she held responsible for this. Trowa's so-called friends. Did they care nothing about his newfound happiness? Her usually cheerful temperament could burst into hot fury when Trowa was threatened. He had taken the place of the helpless baby brother she had loved so dearly and part of her would always see Trowa that way. She could remember him trembling in her arms when she'd found him in the rain on that colony during the war. His memory shattered, his body wracked with pain.  
  
For the moment, Cathrine held her peace, but anyone who would dare to look in those burning violet eyes would have hastened away from the oncoming storm.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Madame Yuy," a young nurse said, hesitating to interrupt the Vice Foreign Minister as she sat beside her friend, holding her hand and whispering to her reassuringly.  
  
"What is it," Relena said, standing at once and swaying slightly from the rapid movement. What an awful day. "Do you have news? Has something happened to Heero?"  
  
"We've heard the ambulance will be here shortly with the young lady," the nurse said; glad to have some type of news to impart.  
  
"Then she's alright," Relena said, sinking back down thankfully. She was anxious to have Heero beside her, she needed his strength, she always had.  
  
"The doctors here are some of the best in the world," the young nurse said, looking at Relena admiringly. "Mr. Winner and Miss Une will have the best care possible, I assure you. But I needed to discuss something else with you. I think you'll be pleased."  
  
The girl beamed at Relena.  
  
Relena nodded a bit impatiently, she needed to give her full attention to Dorothy. They'd had no news about Quatre since they'd rushed him into surgery.  
  
"Your test results are in! Congratulations, you're going to have a baby," the girl said proudly as Relena's face turned white with shock.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Next time on The Price of Redemption . . . Cathrine's anger leads to a passionate admission from the man of her dreams . . .Dorothy finally confronts Trowa . . Trowa volunteers for a difficult mission. 


	12. Chapter 12

AN:Just a little note of clarification since I've been getting mail on this subject -_-;Yes, I do know that Cathrine is Trowa's sister.However, I think that although _we_ know this to be a fact from scenes in Episode Zero, it is unlikely that they are aware that they are truly related, although they obviously share feelings and concern for each other, and that's how I've chosen to portray them in this story.

The Price of Redemption

By Midii Une

Chapter 12

"She'll be like that for two weeks," Hilde whispered, turning her eyes on Sally, silently begging her to say it wasn't true.

Sally looked around at the shocked and tired faces, it was nearly midnight now and none of them had left the hospital or slept, except Relena.She sat beside Heero now on a hard, plastic-cushioned sofa and slept heavily against his shoulder. They didn't want to hear what she had to say and she hadn't wanted to say it.At least the news about Quatre had been more optimistic.

"Isn't that kind of, well . . ." Duo hesitated, glancing uneasily at Trowa,". . . well, kinda creepy?

Yes, it was, Sally thought to herself.The tubes, the wires, the unnatural cold, that ghastly blue light.The new technology did wonders but it seemed so horrible, so impersonal, like some nightmarish, futuristic hell.

It made her glad she didn't practice medicine for a living anymore.She didn't think she could stand the day-to-day agony of giving people bad news about the ones they loved.

Trowa moved past her silently.His movement something of a surprise to the rest, he had stood in a corner for hours while they waited for any update on Midii and Quatre.

"Trowa," Sally protested, her sharp eyes noting his pallor and that he still wore his bloodstained Preventer shirt."You did go down to Emergency and have that wound taken care of?"

"Are you kidding," Duo said, rolling his eyes expressively and launching into a full-blown Shinigami-style rant."If looks could kill you'd be dead for suggesting it Sally."

They all looked uncomfortable.Wufei had gotten himself into a one-sided argument on the same subject with the silent Trowa and had gone out a few hours back to cool down.

Trowa ignored Duo, as he had ignored Wufei's argument that he wasn't doing himself or 'that woman' any good by standing there and refusing medical treatment. 

"Are you saying I can't go in," he said, speaking for the first time in hours and raising dull, emerald eyes to Sally's face.

"No, I'm not saying that Trowa," she said reasonably."But you're hurt, you're tired and you're upset.Seeing her now will only be more difficult.Let me take a look at your shoulder and at least take a nap first.I'm sorry, but weren't you listening to me?It won't make any difference to Midii if you're there or not."

He'd heard.He'd heard every word, but he couldn't get past the hope that he could go in that room and touch her hand and get some type of response.If only her fingers would move or he could see her lashes flutter he would know he'd been forgiven.Sally's words: artificial coma, respirator, completely shut down skimmed over his consciousness.She would know he was there, she had to know.

The words didn't prepare him for what he saw.

Midii lay perfectly still in the center of the room, beneath an eerie blue light that shone down on her white skin.So much white: the sheet, the mattress, and her face.Her hair, the only spot of color, spread around her on the sheet, held back from her face with white gauze bandaging.Machinery hissed constantly in the room and monitors flashed statistics and readings.

"When the damage is so great," Sally had said."They shut down the patient's body using drugs to keep them in artificial coma-like state.The machines do everything: control breathing, maintain the heartbeat and regulate body temperature in a constant environment that facilitates healing.Midii's body can focus on healing, everything else the machines will do for her.It's a wonderful technology in these kind of cases although it does seem a bit . . ."

Duo had cut her off with his statement that the whole thing was just creepy.

Trowa edged closer, unable to reconcile to himself that it would not be as it had last time.She would wake up, he would hold her in his arms again.He could beg her to forgive him.The words were already framed in his mind . . . but the nearer he got to the corpse-like figure on the narrow bed the farther away her forgiveness seemed.

Her face was obscured by the oxygen mask that helped her breathe and he studied the regular rise and fall of her chest beneath the thin white sheet.The eyes hidden beneath her lids were still; she dreamed no dreams, happy or otherwise.She merely existed in an unnatural state of limbo in a place he couldn't reach her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The pushcart creaked under the weight of the flowers, more than a hundred pure white lilies scattered through with a dozen blood-red tiger lilies producing a stunning visual display that resembled drops of scarlet blood on a field of sparkling snow.

$10,000 resided in the delivery boy's pocket, his to keep if the flowers were delivered to a certain party.He kept on moving through the halls, the scent of the lilies and the creak of the cart announcing his presence as he continued on without seeking permission from the proper channels.For this kind of pay he'd get the flowers to the lady in question, a heroine if you judged her by the news accounts.The flowers were certainly from an admirer.Her story was tragic and her innocent beauty revealed in the pictures that constantly flashed on screens, was heartrending . . . 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He felt the stinging first, from a myriad of tiny cuts caused by shattered glass and splintered stone."We _will_ make it," his last thought, his first thought.Was it over?The pain was strangely dull and half his body felt totally numb.Midii was gone and he was alone . . .

"Open your eyes," a familiar voice begged in an unfamiliar tone.A voice unaccustomed to pleading, a voice more confident in making demands than seeking favors in a hushed, wistful tone.But the voice was one he loved in all its moods and tones.He complied with its request, the signal to his brain instantaneous at her command.

Dorothy's breath caught in her throat as Quatre's lids fluttered slowly and he focused his gaze on her face.

And suddenly she couldn't think what to say, what to do.Every thought fled from her burdened mind in her relief and happiness.

"Hi," she managed.Hi, she thought, what made me say that? How totally inappropriate, and on and on her mind raced in giddy, mundane channels as she stared blissfully at Quatre. He was alive; he'd opened his eyes.

"Hi," he croaked, his voice hoarse from disuse and the anesthetic tube they'd run down it during the difficult operation to reattach his arm. Dorothy felt a tightening in the fingers she held.A smile like a sunrise after a storm suffused her weary face that was awash in happy tears.

The ominous noises starting to erupt in the hall outside the door did not exist for her.

Quatre had opened his eyes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The boy stared down the barrel of a gun, too terrified to move or speak, as the bizarre man with the bruised nose and the long braid hanging down his back tried to read the card attached to the flowers.He'd made it so close, made it to her floor before finding himself in his current predicament.Suddenly the money in his pocket seemed as nothing as he looked into the eyes of Death himself.

"Shit," the violet-eyed man cursed finally, tossing the card to his partner, who sat holding a woman on a couch in the hospital waiting area."I can't read this Japanese crap.What does it say Heero?"

Relena startled awake and blinked sleepily as Heero moved to grab the card out of the air.

_ _

# Kokochiyoshi

_aki no hiyori o_

_shide no tabi_[1]__

_ _

Heero's eyes narrowed as he shot the boy a glare."Do you know what this says?Who sent you here," he demanded, getting up to face the intruder.

_ _

The boy shook with fear, the steel-blue eyes even more frightening than those of the man who seemed to be taking great pleasure in leveling a gun at his forehead.

"My boss sent me," the young man said in a quavering voice."The order came in over the computer as well as the payment.$10,000 to whoever got these flowers to the lady, Miss Une.I volunteered.I need the money."

"Let him go Duo," Heero said, his eyes dropping to the ostentatious display of flowers."He is nothing."

The boy backed away and then ran as if the devil himself were after him.

"Okay Heero, you read the card so what does it mean," Duo demanded, looking uneasily at the flowers.They reminded him of blood on snow.

_"A bright and pleasant_

_autumn day to make_

_death's journey," _Heero translated."It's a Japanese death haiku_."_

_ _

"Not exactly a well-wisher then I take it," Duo said, grimacing.Trouble had the knack, she certainly did.

Heero looked at Duo in annoyance, the remark deserved no answer. Without preamble he flipped on his communicator and started giving rapid-fire orders."I want a bomb squad in here now," he commanded."I want all non-critical patients evacuated and all other patients moved from this floor except Midii and Quatre. From now on see that no one makes it up to this floor without authorization. Send someone up to take my wife and Maxwell's out of here and track down Wufei."

He signed off, expecting his orders to be followed without question.Over his tenure at Preventer he had unconsciously assumed the status of a commander and there was gossip around the Agency as to whose orders would be followed in the event Heero's ever conflicted with Lady Une's or Sally Po's.

"You think there's another bomb," Duo squeaked.

"No, it's unlikely," Heero admitted."But it's best to check it out."

_ _

He turned to Relena, expecting her to protest his order for her to leave but she was quietly gathering her things and preparing to go.

"May I stop in to check on Dorothy first Heero?I'm afraid she won't be willing to leave," she questioned, something new and unfathomable in her bright blue eyes.He suspected she was keeping something from him, but he didn't have time to find out what right now.

"I won't ask that of her," Heero said gruffly."But you and Hilde should go back and rest, I don't believe there's much chance of anything happening but there's also nothing more you can do here right now."

"I see," Relena said, baffling Heero still more with her unexpected compliance."But hurry back to me when you can Heero.I must speak with you."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Maybe it was the feeling of helplessness and the endless futility of hoping for a peaceful existence.No matter how hard she tried to protect Trowa she always seemed powerless to shield him from hurt.She felt again like the child sitting by the side of the road amongst the smoking ruins of a circus wagon, the still figures of her parents seeming to accuse her.Her mother's dying voice choked with tears."Triton . . . my baby . . ."

She hadn't been able to protect Triton and she couldn't protect Trowa.She couldn't stop the cycle of pain.War and hate were stronger than her love.She knew she was drawn to the young pilot because he reminded her of her brother.But it had been a long time since she had started loving him for himself instead of as a chance for her own redemption.

Cathrine took a deep breath, striving to be reasonable one last time.

"I need to get in," she said in a clipped voice that belied the emotion seething beneath the surface of her quietly controlled request.

"Sorry miss," the uncomfortable Preventer repeated, squirming a bit under her cold, steady gaze."Listen, one of the patients has been getting death threats and Heero Yuy himself said nobody gets in.Nobody."

The young woman raised her violet eyes to the guard's slowly, staring at him in disbelief for a second.He wasn't going to let her go in to be by Trowa's side?He needed her, she knew it.

"You can tell your Heero Yuy to go screw himself," she shouted, a sharp crack resounding through the chaos as her hand made contact with his cheek in a stinging slap.

The officer looked at her in mute surprise as she continued staring at him, her chest heaving in frustration and rage, her violet eyes flashing angrily.

"The only place you're going is to jail to cool off," he glared, attempting to imitate his maligned idol Heero Yuy.Nobody hit a Preventer and nobody insulted Heero Yuy.Period.

Cathrine squirmed as he grasped her arm and wrenched herself out of his grip.

"Don't you dare touch me," she shouted, wishing she could have just one chance to have this man pinned against her target board.Her eyes glinted as she imagined the look on his face as her knives whizzed past him. How dare he try to stop her?

Was there no quiet place left in this city where a person could find peace, Wufei wondered as his path led him back toward the hospital.The vidscreens displayed prominently throughout the city continually flashed the horrors over and over.He'd even looked up once to see a home video taken by a visitor to that ridiculous museum.The last thing he'd wanted to look up and see was himself flat on his back in a disabled mobile suit about to get blown away by a mobile doll, the video of one of his most embarrassing moments as a warrior being viewed by millions.It had been the icing on the cake of a wonderful day.

As he approached the hospital the flash of emergency lights and the squeal of sirens seemed out of place.Voices bawled over loud speakers and he could even see one of the less important officers engaging in a loud argument with a woman.Now what was going on, he thought in irritation?Would this hellacious day ever end?

He glanced at the irate woman again and his dark eyes widened in recognition and he pushed his way through the crowd towards the scene.

"What's going on here," he said, his voice deceptively calm, his tone hiding the outrage that had filled his stoic heart when he saw her in trouble.

"Sir," the officer gasped, backing down.Not many of them really admired Wufei as they did Heero. His manner was even more intimidating and his holier-than-thou attitude did not endear him to the peons.

Cathrine was past caring who had stepped in on her behalf.There was not one person she wanted to see right now besides Trowa.The wave of anger was fading and fresh tears of frustration and sadness overwhelmed her.

"Cathrine," Wufei said softly, unaccustomed gentleness characterizing his movements as he touched her shoulders carefully, turning her to face him.

"He wouldn't let me go in to see Trowa," Cathrine said, her voice puzzled as if she couldn't understand why someone would stop her from being with him, now, when he needed her."Someone said he was hurt, and somebody else said he was just fine. I don't know anything and it's driving me crazy!And Midii. . . no one is saying anything."

Her voice changed again, the continual hindrances in her quest squelching her attempts to regain control of her emotions.

"Why does this keep happening," she shouted at Wufei."Why do all of you people keep dragging Trowa into this? We just want to be left alone.The war is over.OVER!!! Do you understand?I hate you; I hate all of you, anyone that fights.It has to stop."

She sank to her knees as he watched her with a strange anguish in his heart.The sight of her as she sobbed into her hands on the harsh, cold pavement stirring emotions in him he'd never felt before.

It was weak, what she was doing was weak.But she was also right.They had fought so hard in order for it to end.Trowa and all the rest of them just kept on sacrificing but it never seemed to be over.He found himself beside her, holding her tightly in his arms.His lips whispered comforting sounds into her hair and as she curled against him trustingly.Something melted, the glacier that had always protected his heart from the encroachments of loving another.This sobbing, needy, wonderful, sweet, beautiful girl was doing something to him, he didn't understand. 

It was something he couldn't fight, something for which there was no defense.

Cathrine felt the soft touch of fingers on her face and her senses focused on the touch.Never had anyone touched her so gently, as if she were a glass ornament threatened by a strong breeze.

"Don't cry anymore," a low voice promised in her ear."You're strong, you are. And I am here.I'll help you."

A warm pair of lips pressed against her forehead and she sobbed again and tightened her grip on the steady rock that held her.She felt that something wonderful and unique was happening, even in her sorrow the edges of her lips curved with an anticipatory thrill as she felt his hands move of their own volition to pull her closer in a possessive embrace.

She looked up and was lost in black pools that seemed to hold her very future within them.

She closed her eyes and felt the heavenly sensation of his lips brushing lightly and reverently against hers, heard his promise in her heart that everything would be all right now.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Duo blinked, the picture he saw framed between the silently gliding elevator doors had to be a figment of his imagination.Had Dorothy knocked something loose in his brain when she'd hit him?

He gaped as he saw the card-carrying President of the Eternal Bachelors' Club carefully drying Cathrine Bloom's tears, saw his fingers linger on the curve of her cheek, saw him place a supporting arm tenderly around her shoulder.

Saw Wufei, _Chang Wufei_, doing all these things.And doing them very well indeed.Cathrine rewarded his efforts with a brief, watery smile.

As Cathrine disappeared into Midii's room with a quick, grateful glance at the handsome, Chinese pilot Duo ducked his head.He knew that despite the situation he'd bust out laughing if he met Wufei's self-righteous gaze right now.It seemed that a certain someone's invincible heart had been conquered at last.

_ _

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_ _

_ _

"Midii," Quatre whispered, looking anxiously at Dorothy, unshed tears making his aqua-blue eyes shimmer in the dim light of the room.

Dorothy bit back her words.She didn't know and she didn't care.She knew it was wrong. Quatre had cared enough to risk his own life but it was that very fact that embittered her even more against a young woman she'd always found herself hard-pressed to even be civil to.With friends like Midii and Trowa did Quatre really need enemies?

"I don't know.I haven't heard anything yet, but they brought her here after the explosion," Dorothy said soothingly, averting her eyes from Quatre's wounded arm.Trust her beloved to ask about Midii before wondering about himself.

"How's Trowa?Is he alright," a concerned frown creased Quatre's forehead as he concentrated his precious energy on his friends. 

Relena's face appeared over Dorothy's shoulder and she placed her hand gently over her friend and Quatre's clasped hands, giving them both a soft squeeze.

"Don't worry, Trowa is fine and Midii just got out of surgery.Sally expects a full recovery; she'll need to stay here a few weeks though.Trowa's in with her now," Relena said, a reassuring smile brightening her face.Her words almost convincing herself as well as her two friends that all would really be well.

"You look tired," Quatre told Relena."You and Dorothy should both go and get some rest."

As Relena had warned Heero, Dorothy immediately protested.

"I think you're stuck with Dorothy for the duration," Relena smiled again, the expression a bit forced.She was tired, horribly tired and she'd barely had time to think about the life-changing news she'd had earlier in the day.Tears stung her eyes.She should be so happy.So very happy. But doubts assailed her from every side.Doubts about everything in her own life and the very world she lived in.

"I'll bring you some things tomorrow morning Dorothy," she said, hastily cloaking her emotions.Luckily Dorothy was in no temper to pry or notice that Relena was rather subdued.She barely said goodbye before she focused all her attention on Quatre again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Cathrine raised a trembling hand to her mouth to stifle her gasp of horror.She'd had no preparation for what she was about to see, not like the others had.

Trowa kept his eyes on Midii's heart monitor, the only proof that there was someone still alive in the cold, still body on the narrow bed.He'd stared at her immobile face for so long that his eyes were dry and burning but there was nothing and time moved so slowly in here.The minutes he'd spent at her side seemed like hours, hours without hope.He'd dared once to brush his fingers against hers and the cold touch of them felt branded on his skin.

He startled visibly, a tremor quaking through his body, as Cathrine reached out silently to tug on his sleeve.

"Oh Trowa," she whispered, gazing down at Midii with sorrow in her pale violet eyes."How did this happen?"

How did it happen?He hadn't believed.Hadn't believed that someone like Midii could really love him, that anyone could love him.He wasn't like other people, someone who loved and was loved in return.It was Midii, always Midii that got under his skin and made him believe he could be like that.And it always ended in disaster.

Cathrine was speaking but he didn't hear her words, only her question repeated itself in his mind.How did it happen?Her voice came to him as if through a fog, she whispered softly to Midii, held her hand. All the things he should be doing but wasn't. 

His heart protested.He could love.He did love.He loved Midii.

But maybe that wasn't enough.They were like two people that were meant to be together but had been changed so much by the war they had lived through that now they didn't fit together anymore.It had changed them so they could never be whole again.

Who had he been so long ago, before he'd become Nanashi? 

_"By the time we met it was already too late for us, wasn't it Trowa?"_

_ _

Midii's words from the past echoed in his mind.He hadn't really listened to her then, in his happiness at finding her, his eagerness to be with her at last.He'd been ready to cast aside every doubt in the overwhelming bliss that loving her made him feel.

It had all been a dream.Too good to be true.He was a soldier and that was all, all he ever had been.

Cathy loved Midii, just as she loved him, with her generous heart that knew how to love.She'd be there for her as he couldn't be.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_ _

The three ex-Gundam Pilots stared at the pile of evidence mounded on the table in front of them.It went without saying that Ichiban had to be found.The flowers had been traced back to him, as if there had ever been any doubt.They filled the waiting area with their sweet, heady fragrance, giving the small room the aura of a funeral home.

He'd been headed to the Moon.It seemed Ichiban knew what he was doing and he would make a formidable enemy.From the Moon you could get a shuttle anywhere, it was the biggest spaceport either on Earth or in space and flights were available even to the burgeoning Mars colony.

Now it all came down to who would go after him.It was a difficult, time-consuming project and though all of Preventer would be on alert someone needed to head up the investigation.And it would have to be one of the three of them.

Quatre and Trowa were obviously not going to be available this time.

Heero hesitated on the verge of volunteering. He was the best person for the job, with his knowledge of computers and his basic instinct for this type of mission.But it would mean leaving Relena behind for an undetermined amount of time and that was an issue.There had been something in her eyes tonight that called to him and he had noticed the odd tiredness that plagued her lately.He admitted, if only to himself, that maybe he shouldn't be the one to go.

"Uh, Tro," Duo said, looking up to find a pair of green eyes staring at them almost accusingly.

Trowa's eyes scanned the table:Midii's laptop, a man's white shirt splotched with gruesome bloodstains that someone had found at the spaceport and the small, pale blue card with tiny, Japanese characters, starkly black against the fragile paper.

He held the card, peering at the writing, the meaning of the words like steel in his soul.

"Where is he," he asked, raising his eyes to look at all of them.

"We'll find him Trowa," Heero said, making his decision.He was the only one who could handle this."In fact I'll be leaving to take care of it right after I stop back at the hotel to pack."

_"A bright and pleasant_

_autumn day to make_

_death's journey,"_Trowa whispered_._"I will be the one to send him on that journey.I'll find him."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Trowa ignored Duo and Heero's protests as if he'd never heard them.Wufei silently agreed with Trowa on this one.It was a matter of honor after all and no one had more motivation to find and terminate this threat than Trowa.

The tall Preventer walked slowly down the hall.Midii was not the only one he had failed or the only one for whom he wanted to seek vengeance.Carefully he pushed open the door to Quatre's room.

Dorothy's eyes popped open; she had finally started to doze off, her eyes narrowed as she caught a glimpse of Trowa's pale, unhappy face in the doorway.She looked at Quatre; he was out again, the result of the drugs and the aftereffect of the anesthesia from the operation.Only for this would she leave his side.She had a few choice words for Trowa Barton and nothing would stop her from saying them.

She put a slender figure to her lips and shook her head and Trowa stepped back from the door.Dorothy silently rose from the chair she'd been sitting in for hours.She longed to stretch her cramped and tired limbs but her anger drove her immediately out of the room after Quatre's best friend.

"Did you come to apologize," Dorothy said in a low, angry voice that caught Trowa like a knife in the heart.He turned back towards her slowly.

"Don't worry, he'll forgive you.You already know that," she said, but there was nothing comforting or kind in her words, only a thinly suppressed rage.

"Yes, I came to apologize and to say goodbye," Trowa said, trying to keep his voice steady under the weight of Dorothy's wrath.He had been wrong about her too.She really did love Quatre; she cared more for his well being than even he did. He should have trusted Quatre's feelings for this fiery woman; he had been in no position to judge her.

"Leaving!Why am I not surprised?Did you come to ask Quatre to watch over Midii while you're off playing the clown somewhere," Dorothy spat."If you have any courage at all you'll stay here.I don't care if I ever see your face or hers again but Quatre cares for you, both of you and it will hurt him if you leave now."

"I have to do this, please understand," Trowa said softly."I'm going to find the man responsible for this.I have to protect Midii and Quatre too . . ."

"You'd do them a hell of a lot more good if you stayed here where you're needed," Dorothy shot back."If you leave now you're abandoning everyone who ever cared about you.I don't give damn about your little Midii Une.She's nothing but trouble.But if you leave I'll tell her to wash her hands of you.You don't even know how to love someone, do you?You're afraid to even try, that's why you're going on this mission.If you leave don't even bother coming back Trowa."

She blinked at him disbelievingly as a half-smile curved his lips and he reached out to bring her hand to his lips and kissed it gently.

"Quatre was right about you Dorothy," he said, looking into her eyes."You are kind.You should tell her that.I don't know how to love her.I never did.She should find someone else."

He turned and walked away, leaving the angry Dorothy with a strangely dissatisfied feeling and an odd urge to cry.But her tears would not be for Quatre.She knew that he would be all right.She wanted to cry for Trowa.

Next time on The Price of Redemption:Relena has a talk with Heero . . . Midii wakes up and decides what to do with her future.

[1] Ichiban's Japanese Death Haiku found at the following site:

[http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/1120/][1]

   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/1120/



	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note:Sorry for the delay!! (bad case o'writer's block :P)And a plea: please, please read and review my April Fool's fic _The First of April_ @_@I know the summary is weak and it doesn't seem like my normal material, but trust me if you like this story you'll also like that one—be open-minded and give it a chance!! And I'd like to dedicate the HeeroxRelena sap in this chapter to my friend and A-1 Reviewer Nikki-chan who always compliments me on my 1xR characterizations.Thanks Nikki, here's your fluff ^_~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Price of Redemption

By Midii Une

Chapter 13

Hot silent tears of discouragement slid down Relena's cheeks and lay glittering like crystal ornaments on her outspread hair before they melted away, leaving behind damp spots on her pillow.

How frightening it was to have a child.Until this day she had never understood the real tragedy of her parents' death.She could imagine their terror now and feel how much they must have wanted to live, to be there for her and Milliardo.

The tiny life within her had transformed her from a purposeful, confident woman to a weeping, terrified wreck.

Heero.Heero had had parents too . . . perhaps he had.He had no recollection and his eyes and face masked any sadness that fact must cause him.How must they feel, what had happened to those shadowy people that they had allowed their child to be used for such a purpose? What parents could let someone steal their child's humanity?

Another choked sob wracked Relena's weary body.She knew she should stop tormenting herself but new maternal instincts had taken firm hold of her and her mind fixed avidly on all the things that could threaten her precious baby.

"I'm so afraid," she whispered to the darkness.

The sound of Heero's key card in the hotel door startled her.She wasn't ready to share her happiness or her fears . . . Relena curled on her side and forced herself to breathe evenly, hiding herself in the pretense of sleep.

Heero winced as he eased off his shirt and let it drop soundlessly to the floor.Despite his attempts to clean up in the hospital washroom he was still contaminated with blood and sweat and grime from this horrible, endless day.He was haunted by so many things, Quatre's hair shining in the sunlight as he tossed him his cell phone, the smeared blood on Relena's pale wrist, the sound of his phone from behind that wall of rock.He felt so dirty but all he wanted to do was fall into the bed beside Relena and bury his face in her hair.Hair that smelled like a rainy spring day, fresh and sweet.

She had always been much stronger than he was, he had to hide his feelings behind a wall it was the only way he could fight.Dr. J had seen that . . . 

He gave in to temptation and slid beneath the sheet, burying his face in the pillow, feeling the damp cotton beneath his cheek.

She'd been crying.

The puzzlement that had always overwhelmed him when it came to her washed over him like a wave of cold water.Relena hardly ever cried.Not tears of sadness anyway.She was so strong and tears from her always had the power to confuse him.Tears were a natural reaction to the day they'd all had, he concluded, his analytical brain forcing him to ponder the damp pillowcase until some theory had been reached.

Deep, deep down inside he wondered if she had cried alone before, cried when he was not there to see her do it.Did she think he would love her less if he saw her cry.A twinge of insecurity twisted in Heero's soul as a restless movement clued him to the fact that she only pretended to sleep.

Relena felt a strong hand slide over her shoulder, gentle fingers toying with the thin strap of her nightgown.He knew she was awake, he always knew . . .she turned towards him and let him gather her close silently as she forced herself not to cry, still tears pricked her eyes beneath her tightly closed lids.

"What is it," Heero whispered, her closeness reassuring him that she was here, she was safe, that she had been untouched by the disaster of the previous day.It was a new day, they would all start over and forget.

The sound of his voice cracked her resolve.

"Heero, I'm afraid," she whispered in a trembling, childish voice, a tone he'd never heard her use before.

He sat up instantly and flipped on the light to examine her tear-stained face and red-rimmed eyes.

"Because of what happened," he asked, somehow knowing that wasn't it.

She shook her head and swallowed, it seemed there was a lump in her throat as big as the tiara she'd worn when they'd crowned her Queen Relena.Finally she raised her eyes to his and confessed.

"We're going to have a baby," she whispered, breaking into a torrent of fresh tears.

"And you're unhappy," he asked, the news not yet affecting the stoic former soldier, all he cared about at the moment was Relena's fear and unhappiness.

"I don't know," she said."It changes everything.It makes me wonder if what I'm doing is the right thing.It's so dangerous and we have a child I'd never want to have to leave them alone.Alone like I was, like you were Heero . . . ."

He lifted her from the bed and sat with her in an armchair, cuddling her close and crooning soft words that sprang naturally from his lips, though he'd never done such a thing before.

"We were alone," he agreed."But it made us strong.Our child will be strong too and we will be there, I promise you."

Her sobs subsided and he felt her lips on his neck and her breath in his ear.Gently he held her away from him.  
  
"Relena, I feel so dirty, I . . ."

She smiled and jumped off his lap and back onto the king-size bed they shared.She tilted her head toward the bathroom.

"Hurry," she urged.

The hot water streamed over his hard, muscular body, he wished it could wash away more than the blood—his own blood, Quatre's blood, Midii's blood-- that swirled down the drain in pale pink rivulets.Wished he could wash away his past.His child, their child would help him do that.He would be a father.

Cool air rushed into the steaming shower cubicle as the frosted glass door cracked open and Relena stepped in.Heero felt almost like purring as her gentle hands traced a pattern through the moisture on his back followed by the satisfying roughness of a loofah sponge rich with lather as she scrubbed his back.

She made him clean again, literally and figuratively and he turned his face up to the shower spray and let the water hit his face as she continued her tender ministrations, the abrasiveness of the sponge contrasting with the smooth caress of her fingers.After a while he felt her warm wet body pressing against his back; smooth wet skin gliding easily against smooth wet skin, Relena's soft curves the opposite of his angular, muscular frame.

Heero turned to take her in his arms.She was smiling again, he would have to get used to this, the mood swings, the tears, the laughter.He pulled her close in his arms as the water battered them gently.Heero pressed his lips to her forehead reverently then trailed kisses down to the tip of her nose.She giggled as he knelt before her, water streaming from the dark brown bangs plastered to his forehead.Relena tipped her head back and braced her arms against the marble shower stall, the marble cool even as steam rose from the water.He kissed the soft skin beneath her navel and pressed his cheek against the spot, his arms holding her close.

"Aishiteru," he whispered.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The sensation of touch was the first to return, the feel of a hand that held hers.A touch so warm and strong, gentle like a mother's.She felt safe even in the mysterious darkness.

Cathrine tightened her hold on Midii's hand as she felt the small, cold fingers move slightly in her grasp.She bent forward eagerly.For more than two weeks she'd sat beside her, whispering encouragement, crying a little when she was sure no one was around.Despite everything Sally said it had seemed so hopeless . . . she'd wondered if that had been why Trowa had left . . . 

"Midii," she whispered softly."Wake up Midii . . ."

Tears sparkled in Cathrine's sweet violet eyes.Tears of happiness and sorrow as well.It had been three days since they'd discontinued Midii's medication.There'd been a tense moment when they waited to see if she breathed on her own when they removed the oxygen mask.She flushed as she remembered his hand stealing over to hold hers in that endless moment before the slight figure on the bed spasmed convulsively once and went slightly blue at the lips before choking in one independent breath and then another . . . 

Wufei.He'd been her secret pillar of strength through it all, bringing her dinner and ordering her back to the hotel to rest with a grim look on his face.But he meant it kindly, she had the feeling that he didn't know how to show her he cared.How she hoped that was what it meant because since that horrible day when he had kissed her, her thoughts had often wandered back to that moment.The reverent, gentle sensation of his lips on hers.A little bit of heaven on a day from hell.

So while she was happy that Midii was reacting to an outside presence at last she was also heartbroken because when she did wake up Trowa would not be there.

And she would have to tell her something.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_Rain splattered the windows and summer lightning flashed through the sky briefly illuminating the darkness.It was only afternoon but the thunderclouds made it seem like it was midnight._

_ _

_Trowa paused in the hallway, hurriedly shaking the excess water from his umbrella.No light shone under her apartment door.He smiled as he fumbled for the key, trying to discern with his fingers which was the key to her door and which was the key to his.Had she forgotten to pay the light bill again?Or maybe the power had gone out in this sector of the colony.It was rare, but it still happened._

_ _

_She was standing by the window, fingers tracing the raindrops on the other side of the cold, fogged glass.It seemed like she hadn't heard him come in even though he took no care to shut the door quietly, letting it swing shut with a casual push of his hand._

_ _

_He watched her silently, he rarely saw her like this, quiet and sad and lost in reverie._

_ _

_"Midii," he called finally and she turned to look at him as lightning flashed outside, illuminating her face for a brief second, the shadowed impression of the raindrops appearing as tears streaking her cheeks._

_ _

_She literally flew into his arms, regardless of the drenched trenchcoat that hung gracefully from his tall frame.She pressed her face into the cold, wet material and clung to him tightly._

_ _

_He could feel her, the heat of her body, how she shivered as the dampness from his coatchilled her, the snug and welcome embrace of her slender arms.When she looked up he wasn't sure if there were tears on his face or if they were only the trails of raindrops that had dripped down from his wet bangs._

_ _

_"Oh Trowa," she whispered, pressing her face back against his chest."I'm glad you're back.I missed you."_

_ _

_He tilted her chin and pressed his lips to the cool, wet skin of her forehead, he heard the little sound of pleasure she made as he trailed kisses down the graceful column of her neck._

_ _

_"Where else would I be, in weather like this," he teased, the joke springing as much from a desire to see her smile as much as from the instinctive need of lovers to test their partner's devotion with gentle torments._

_ _

_What he was really saying was "I'll always be here as long as you want me.Tell me you want me to stay forever . . ."_

_ _

_He rested his damp face on her soft, warm hair and simply held her there as the rain spattered loudly on the glass of the window and slowly the crashing sound of the lightning died away as the storm moved on._

_ _

It seemed like she was slipping from his grasp and as he tightened his embrace he whispered her name . . . Midii.

"Midii," he whispered sleepily, his arms tightening on the pillow he held.A crash of lightning boomed and he woke up, hearing the rain pelt the glass in a sharp, staccato rhythm.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Midii stared at the ceiling as they discussed her future, a storm building in her head like the faraway sound of thunder on a hot day on Earth.She didn't really understand, her memories were like shards of broken glass, painfully sharp when she tried to pick them up and remember what happened. The events of the last month seemed out of sequence and misty as if she watched a badly-edited movie filmed through a fogged-over camera lens.

Trowa.

A subject to be avoided.They wore embarrassed smiles and made excuses, especially Cathy, always Cathrine.Cathrine who sat beside her now, fiercely defensive as the lions Trowa treated as pets.Trowa.The casual drift of his name in her mind brought the storm closer and her eyes blurred as the 'discussion' heated up.

"We'll go back home," the older girl said, including them all in her glance, letting her violet gaze linger a bit longer on the sleek form of the dark-haired pilot, Wufei."She needs rest and I can take good care of her."

Rest, Midii, thought.She would go mad if she had to submit to Cathrine's brand of 'rest' much longer.She hovered over her as she took each tentative step toward recovery, her hand always inches from her elbow when she tried to walk and an urgent and pleading expression in her eyes when she was too tired to eat 'just one more bite.'

Heero calculated the risks of letting them return to the circus.Trowa had left much unsaid and his state of mind when he'd left had been incomprehensible to all of them.Heero thought the chances were even that if he let them go back Ichiban would find Midii before Trowa found Ichiban.With very little emotion involved in the realization, Heero knew that if that happened and something happened to Midii Trowa would kill him or he'd be forced to kill Trowa. 

Quatre pushed himself out of the easy chair in the corner, his face paling and Dorothy reached out automatically but snatched back her hand.In his place she wouldn't want to be treated as an invalid.He was fine, he'll be perfectly fine she told herself, but her eyes never left him as he smiled in spite of the pain the effort caused him and made his way to the bed.

"Come back and stay with Dorothy and I," he insisted, his good hand reaching to squeeze Midii's limp one."And Cathrine, too, of course.I know that's what Trowa would want . . .

His voice faded and Midii wished passionately that all of them would go away and leave her alone, that they would stop saying his name.Didn't they know how it hurt her to hear it?Hurt in a way that was purely physical.

_"I gave you every chance Midii.Because I loved you.But I'm not going to listen_

_anymore.When I get back I'll decide what to do about this."_

_ _

She remembered eyes that snapped green fire.Loved.The past tense.He had loved her and now, after what had happened he felt sorry for her.They were in the past.

The storm of pain was almost upon her.It stabbed white hot in her temple and her fingers rose to the small white bandage.

"Midii . . ." 

Quatre's voice was far away.

"What's wrong . . ."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sally let the crisp autumn breeze play with the loose strands of gold that had escaped her efficiently braided hair.

She closed her eyes and let herself slide slowly to the ground, the smooth bark of the tree she leaned against felt wonderful and she rubbed her aching back against it like a grateful cat.

A warm, fragrant waft of steam touched her cheek and her eyes flew open.

"You look like you could use a jolt, or should I just let you fall asleep here," the low, masculine voice questioned.He didn't say what he thought, that she looked of perfectly at home there, the soft smile on her face from the small pleasure of the night breeze and the feel of the cool, dewy grass beneath her fingers.

"Can't sleep, I'm just taking a break," Sally said, reaching gratefully for the coffee he offered and inviting him to sit beside her with a glance.

Anderson readily accepted, sitting close to her to avail himself of the support offered by the slender trunk of the little tree.

"What's wrong," he asked, sensing the nearness of the warm, slender fingers so close beside his own on the cool grass."How's our little miracle patient?"

Sally smiled.He was so compassionate and she appreciated his concern for her friend.Ever since he'd witnessed her bringing Midii back from the brink in that cathedral he'd stuck around.Always appearing almost magically when her spirits were flagging and needed bolstering.

"Another setback, I'm afraid.She had some type of seizure tonight, she was in a lot of pain," Sally sighed, automatically glancing up at the towering medical facility.She had to get back in, there would be news.She smirked a bit, Cathrine would find her if she didn't return soon anway.She was like a mother hen with one chick.

Anderson frowned."Sounds like residual pain from the injury, maybe it's being spurred as she's trying to remember what happened?"

"I'm afraid so," Sally agreed."The tests are just a precautionary measure.But I have no idea if we can guarantee this won't keep happening. Poor Midii . . . I-I feel so responsible, I asked her, bribed her really, to get involved in this.And now--now . . ."

"It's not your fault," Anderson said."We all have a free will, you were just giving that little girl a chance to believe in herself.Now you have to follow through with your promise.It's not too late for that." 

Her companion put a comforting arm around Sally's shoulder as she took a deep breath and shook her head.She would not lose control.

"Thank you. You're right.I need to do something for Midii and not just sit here feeling sorry for myself," she said, standing up and offering a hand to the man who stared up at her with warm, brown eyes.He took the proffered hand and pushed himself up, keeping her hand in his.

"You're a wonderful woman Sally," he said, his voice a bit hoarse as he finally said the words he'd been wanting to say ever since he saw her in the wreckage of that blown-out building.Her compassion and strength gave her a beauty that was hard to match.

She cast her eyes down at the grass that moved softly in the cooling breeze and she shivered a little.She had always been a soldier, never really sought the admiration of men before.Well, they had always admired her for her fighting skill.But he, this man, seemed to admire her for more than that and the realization made her feel warm inside and her blood seemed to tingle slightly.It felt like she'd had too much coffee, her mind was buzzing and yet she'd only had a sip, the little Styrofoam cup he'd handed her lay spilled on the grass.

Sally took his hand and they went back in together.She felt like she had found a friend, and maybe something more.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Old instincts died hard and besides she felt so disoriented and dazed.Hadn't she been talking to the others?Wasn't it still daylight?Her head felt strangely empty as if the storm of pain had been a heavy weight and now that it was gone it left her light-headed and dizzy. Still her instincts quivered and her muscles tensed.Someone was there, in the darkness.

Midii kept herself still waiting for her eyes to adjust to the dark.The man's unruly hair gleamed faintly with a black-brown sheen in the ambient light that shone under the door.

He heard her breath catch for the brief fraction of a second.He was trained to notice those kinds of discrepancies.Her breathing returned to a deep, even pattern and if he wasn't so sure of what he'd heard he'd believe she was still asleep.

Even weak and recovering her talent was so obvious, she was good at what she did and oddly he trusted her.Perhaps Sally's idea had merit, it could be the perfect solution.

Midii peered beneath her lids, as the figure moved restlessly on silent feet and her heartbeat steadied to a pace that matched her breathing.Her concentration distracted her from the memory of pain, from the vague, disturbing memories of Trowa and that other—Ichiban.She'd thought it was him at first, the hair was nearly the same.But her visitor didn't have his height, though they both had the same slender build that concealed hidden strength.

What did _he_ want?

Before the pain he had been there, silent, watchful.

As if he were assessing her.

Was this a test?Her eyes opened a bit wider, the blue-gray gleaming almost silver in the soft light.Anger and frustration tinged her emotions.How dare he watch her, judge her? She'd risked everything for Preventers' little mission. 

'What do you want, Heero," she whispered, her hand closing over the little box she kept in bed beside her, the nurse's call button, the light switch all controlled from the small plastic object.She pressed on the light button, satisfied to see him startle for a brief second as the room filled with light and there was approval on that stern face before it smoothed to a blank mask again.

"Sally wanted to ask you something," Heero said."She wants you to work with us, at Headquarters.But I had to be sure first.Before she asked you."

"I'm tired Heero.Tired and beyond caring what Trowa or his friends think of me. Just get out," Midii said, turning her face away and shutting her eyes, hoping he'd leave, leave and stop tormenting her, hoping he believed she didn't what Trowa thought.He'd left her hadn't he?She had no choice but to stop caring.It didn't work before, a sarcastic little voice inside taunted, you tried so hard to forget him before and it never worked, you could never forget . . .

She huffed and opened her eyes again, silencing the small voice in her heart.Heero hadn't left.She could feel those steely eyes staring at her dispassionately.

"Well," she said."You don't trust me and that's that so I'll ask you again.What do you want Heero?"

He turned on his heel and started to leave.

Midii groaned and sat up her curiosity piqued by his odd behavior.

"Aren't you going to answer me," she called.

He turned back, only partially, his angular profile revealed nothing to her scrutinizing gaze."Maybe you aren't as perceptive as I believed," he said."Maybe Sally was wrong to go to so much trouble to win you over."

"Win me over," Midii said, her voice puzzled."Stop being so damned vague Yuy and tell me what you're trying to say."

"I'm trying to say that Sally trusts you and wants you with us on L-1," he said."I'm saying I don't think she's wrong."

He stalked out.

Midii pressed the light switch and lay gingerly back on the bed.

They trusted her.

Trowa's friends trusted her.

But he still didn't.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He'd never noticed the resemblance before but an image of Trowa seemed to superimpose itself over the girl who called herself his sister.Her lanky, but voluptuously curved frame leaned casually against the wall opposite Midii's door, her head bent forward so her auburn curls shielded her face and her slender arms were crossed beneath her breasts.

"Leave Midii alone," she said as he passed by her, her head lifting to reveal cold and angry violet eyes. 

What was in this girl's past, Heero wondered, that drove her to be so protective of those she loved.He'd heard both Duo and even Quatre joke about her treatment of them during the war when they'd approached Trowa at the circus.

"It's her decision and I think she'll come to L-1," Heero said.The words 'I'm sorry' seemed to linger unspoken at the end of his sentence.Her pretty face was so bereft, as if she knew what Midii would choose to do.

"Alright then," she said finally, breaking the uncomfortable silence between them."But I'm coming too."

They both turned as the metal doors that connected the hospital wings swung open, Cathrine started.Was it Trowa?

She wanted it to be him so much that even though the newcomer was Wufei she couldn't help but breathe a loud, unhappy sigh.He came to stand beside her, though he refused to betray himself and his growing feelings to Heero by taking her hand or glancing at her.

"You're here," Heero said, glancing at his watch.There was nothing official but between them they made sure someone was always in the hall outside Midii's door."I'll say goodnight then.Oh and Wufei, it looks like we'll be heading back to headquarters as soon as possible."

Wufei nodded tersely but odd thoughts swirled in his brain.It seemed like a foolish decision to leave Midii and Cathrine unguarded.Cathrine.He had grown so used to seeing her face each day, hearing her voice . . .was it over?Over already?

"Midii and Cathrine will be joining us. It's what Sally wants," Heero tossed back over his shoulder as the doors swung shut behind him.

Her decision to stay with Midii had implications she hadn't considered, Cathrine realized, an unconscious flush rising in her cheeks as she felt his eyes upon her wonderingly.She would still be able to see him . . . and perhaps it would happen again . . . he would kiss her.

She looked at him from under her lashes and thought she saw begrudging satisfaction on the stern warrior's face and a little of her unhappiness was erased by the new possibilities this move opened up.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Women did not have a monopoly on gossip and teasing.Things had been very quiet lately at Preventer Headquarters in the two months since the bombing in Brussels.There was little else to do but plan mischief.The agents in the fourth floor office wing cast each other eager little glances.It would be a good laugh to set the new guy up for failure.

Diarmid Walker wasn't an easy target however; his bright blue eyes were quick to notice that his new office mates had something planned.After the usual introductions and the traditional round of handshakes the conversation of course wound it's way to women.

"Sure, there's plenty of girls here but all the good ones are taken," one man griped.

"Oh come on!There must be 1000 people working here at headquarters, tell me there's not one good-looking girl that's available," Diarmid said, taking the bait.They were going to set him up for a fall eventually, better sooner than later.Once they'd had their fun he could settle in and get down to the business he was interested in, keeping the peace his brother and so many others had died for.

"Well," another of his officemates confided, as if he were revealing a jealously guarded secret. "There is our mystery girl.No one knows much about her really, but she's high up."He curled two of his fingers tightly together and waved them in Diarmid's face."Hell, she's like this with Heero Yuy himself and Preventer Water as well."

"Pretty," Diarmid asked, already guessing the answer, he was more interested in her connections with the famous Preventer Yuy, ex-Gundam Pilot.He didn't want his career bogged down with the office help like these guys.He wanted in on the action, he wanted to go straight to the top.

"Ever see those old spy movies on TV? The ones with the outrageous adventures and the girls too beautiful to be real," the first man queried.

"Sure," Diarmid laughed."I love those old spy flicks. Christ but they're a hoot."

"That's what _she_ looks like," one of his new friends said, the others nodding agreement."Rumor has it she even was a spy, during the war.But we're all on the same side now.You name it, we're all here.Ex-Alliance, Ex-OZ, Ex-Gundam pilots all getting cozy under the same roof."

"Well, good thing it's a damn big roof," Diarmid joked rolling his eyes and pushing a hand through his unruly dark red hair. 

"So Walker, what do you think?Think you can get cozy with our Miss Une," a man who hadn't spoken before said, his eyes glinting with interest and curiosity.

Diarmid's eyes narrowed, that guy had rejection written all over his face. He knew what they all wanted to see.They wanted to see her reject him, wanted to see this Miss Une give him the cold shoulder.There was some secret they were keeping about her, he wondered what it was.

A hand clapped him on the shoulder and one of the younger agents pointed to a security vidscreen in the corner of the office.The halls were monitored to prevent any surprise attacks.

Diarmid looked up and he heard a snicker and a few sighs of commiseration as his jaw dropped and he sat down heavily in a chair.He expected to see her glance at him from the screen but of course she couldn't know he was watching.And even if she did know would she even care?Unlikely, he thought.She was an angel, a goddess too lofty to trouble herself with the cares and desires of mere mortals.Finally he pulled his eyes away and focused on the man beside her, Heero Yuy.Walker smirked as he heard her voice for the first time, raised in irritation as she argued with the famous Preventer.He liked a woman who wasn't afraid to speak her mind.

There was something about her, it pulled to him.Yes, she was beautiful but that wasn't it.It was more of the sad vulnerability on her face that showed even as she argued heatedly with Yuy.

Was Yuy himself the reason all the others had failed? Diarmid studied the cold, impassive face.No, she was nothing to him, that was obvious.

"Fine," he said suddenly, forcing his eyes from the screen.She was disappearing from view anyway."I'll ask her out.What have I got to lose?"

Diarmid thought he heard a snort of derisive laughter from inside one of the cubicles.

"What have I let myself in for," he wondered. But the memory of the girl he'd seen so briefly on the screen strengthened his resolve.She was lonely, as lonely as he was.Her isolation was apparent from his brief glimpse of her and he wanted to break down that wall around her.

The teasing died away and Walker settled into his new surroundings, his first order of business to research Miss Une.He found himself staring at her personnel file.Not much there in the way of information.A picture, her large blue-gray eyes were cloaked and mysterious, revealing nothing.No address, no other personal information than her age: 19.When he tried to access the rest he was denied.

Next time on The Price of Redemption . . . Diarmid is surprised by Midii's answer to his question . . .Trowa's closer to Ichiban than he thinks . . . Wufei is happy with Cathrine's new living arrangements.


	14. Chapter 14

The Price of Redemption

Author's Note:Some violence and kinda 'gross' stuff in this chapter, I kept it pretty toned down but just beware!

The Price of Redemption

By Midii Une

Chapter 14

Midii knew she was behaving childishly.But everything that had happened over the last few months had her emotions as raw and uncontrollable as a child's.Love and hate intermingled with confusion and desperation chipped away at her hard-won shell of cool confidence.

Right now she could barely resist the desperate urge to break something.Heero treated her like his glorified secretary.He never let her do anything resembling a _real _mission, it was enough to make Midii believe Heero and Sally didn't really trust her.Maybe they had just insisted she live and work here at headquarters on L1 to keep an eye on her?Unlikely, she grudgingly decided.They wouldn't give her such open access to the Preventer database unless they trusted her.Heero meant well. Cathrine meant well.But they were smothering her. 

"And what do _you_ mean Trowa," she asked the silence, sitting in the desk chair and spinning it slowly with her feet.Midii closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself, remembering the feeling of being rocked in his arms. Tears threatened and she made herself hate him to ward off the overwhelming pain.He hadn't contacted her since the last time she'd seen him in Brussels.He was cold and heartless, he didn't care whether she lived or died, she would probably never see him again.

"Please understand, Midii.He needs time," the soft voice of Sally always insisted, it played back in her mind like a comforting mantra.But the words were starting to lose their power to make her feel better.Everybody insisted he would come back, that he cared about her. But no one would tell her when this was going to happen and why he never called or where exactly he was.

Midii smiled sadly, the love and pain slowly overtaking the anger and hate.She saw her own petulant child's face and the blank stare on his when she tried to reach him when they first met.He was complicated, her Trowa, even now she didn't understand him.But what had provoked her to hate and envy as a child had long since been replaced by the compelling love that had always been in her heart for him and him alone. She wanted to see him again and yet she was afraid too.The man she'd last seen hadn't been the Trowa who had been her lover for months.He'd been Nanashi again seeing only what he thought of as her betrayal and not the reasons behind it.She had let herself forget in those warm, sweet days together how he could be.

Tears sparkled and clung to her lashes but she defiantly wiped them away with the back of her hand before they could fall.Could they ever fix things? Should they even try?Destiny seemed set against them.Maybe if _they_ would let her do more than 'creative computing' and actually let her go on a mission, she could start to forget.But all Trowa's friends, her friends now she supposed, wanted to shelter her from the world.They had good reason, she was still prone to overwhelming headaches that came over her without warning since the bombing.And Richard was still out there. 

Richard.

He was her excuse and Trowa's.It always circled back to Trowa.The argument with Heero, her anxious restlessness.Midii didn't know how long she could play this role without him.

A tentative knock rattled her office door in its frame and she glanced up at the video security and frowned.A stranger, a stranger who wore a look that was too familiar.

"Come in," she sighed.A distraction was a distraction and if she thought about Trowa or Richard or her unhappiness with her job any longer, she'd be sure to get another headache.Then Heero would say "I told you so" and Cathy would fuss and make enough soup to feed a goddamned army.

"Can I help you," she asked.

"Sorry," he said, bright blue eyes flashing with a combination of mischief and admiration."I thought this was Sally Po's office.My mistake."

She scowled at him in disbelief.What a lame line.

Shit, Diarmid cursed silently, she was a tough cookie to crumble, he had to look long and hard to find the vulnerability he'd seen on that video screen.

"This isn't Sally's office, she's the chief, she has the penthouse office.You know the one with all the windows and the brass plate on the door that clearly reads Sally Po," Midii said, feeling uncomfortable under his intense scrutiny.It was if he was trying to see inside her soul.She was a young woman who guarded her true self jealously, it was a protective measure and an important part of what she did for a living.

He grinned at her disarmingly.

"Okay, I'm lying," he confessed, sitting casually on the edge of her desk and looking down on her."And I do need your help."

Diarmid thought he saw a flicker of compassion in the wide blue eyes.Perhaps he had a chance and honesty was the best policy after all.He wanted to show those fourth-floor blowhards that he could do this and he wanted to be with her.She raised a slender eyebrow and folded her hands signaling her impatience with his game.

"I'm new, at least to this office," he continued, watching her hopefully for signs of weakness."I transferred from Earth headquarters.It seems I'm the victim of a little scheme here and I'm afraid the gentlemen, and I call them that lightly, in my office have involved you …"

"That's enough," Midii said, standing.Nice try, she thought, a tiny smirk curving her lips."Please leave.There are a lot of reasons I don't see anyone from the office and none of them are any of your business."

"Please Miss Une," he persisted."Have pity on a poor lonely newcomer.I just want to be your friend, on my honor."

She smiled unwillingly as he crossed his heart to make his promise.

"Well, perhaps . . ." Midii started.

"Dinner?"

She shook her head.No, this wasn't right.

"I can't really," she protested, letting her eyes really look at him.When had she ever seen eyes like that, cheerful blue eyes full of nothing but admiration and wanting nothing from her but her time?Eyes that didn't judge.Her heart beat nervously and painfully, these thoughts were treacherous.Trowa had every right to be angry and suspicious after all she'd put him through.It was her fault he had left her behind again, all her fault, as it always had been.

Diarmid watched her face, it was almost like she had physically left the room, she was so lost in her thoughts.

"Okay," he said."I know I'm presuming too much.I haven't even introduced myself.What do you even know about me?"

"I just …"

He cut her off again and she couldn't help but smile again, it was odd to be the one who couldn't get a word in.

"My name's Diarmid Walker," he said finally sticking out his hand. She hesitated and held out hers, feeling her fingers engulfed in a warm, strong grip.

"I'm Midii Une," she said.

His eyes widened a little in remembrance and recognition.

"You were in that accident in Brussels," he said, still holding her hand."The one they called a miracle."

She pulled her hand away and turned from him."I think you should leave," she said.

"Please Midii," he said."Can you give me a break?It would mean so much to me?Okay, I understand dinner's out, maybe lunch is out too?"

She nodded.

He took a deep breath."Can you resist coffee and cinnamon rolls?The ones from the bakery across the street?I've been told I pull off a mighty fine breakfast delivery."

He was persistent, this Diarmid Walker.Maybe a cup of coffee here at the office couldn't hurt, you had to know when to cut your losses, she thought and besides, she was growing tired of putting him off, lately she seemed to tire of everything so easily.He wasn't the type to take no for an answer and overnight she could think of a way to put him off.Hmmph, a small voice inside suggested, just have Heero pop in for a second.He's enough to intimidate anyone.

"Alright," she said, turning back and shrugging.

He stifled the urge to grab her around the waist and spin her around in celebration and yell Thank you, Thank you.He could almost feel what it would be like to see her strawberry-streaked blonde hair twirling around her and a genuine smile on that pretty face.But touching her now would be fatal.Still he couldn't help flashing her a huge grin and his heart raced when she couldn't resist a small smile in return.

"Well then," he said."Only one question left and I'll leave you alone Midii.I can call you Midii," he asked.

She nodded.

"Orange or cranberry," he asked.

She looked puzzled.

"Juice," he prompted.

"Oh, neither.Grapefruit," she said as he disappeared, closing her door gently behind him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She lay on a blanket of blood-red roses, the petals soft as velvet, covering the bed in a liquid, silken mass.The bright blonde hair that spread over the crimson petals was brassy, obviously dyed.But the customer wanted a blonde and what the customer wanted, the customer always got.

"Beg me," he whispered, his teeth grazing the delicate skin of her flat stomach."Say 'Richard, please don't.'"

She tangled her hand in his lush, gleaming brown hair and caught her nails, shining with hot pink nail polish in his thick locks. 

"Richard, please don't," she said, tugging at his hair and half-heartedly trying to pull him away, his lips on her skin and his rough hands yanked hers away and circled her wrists painfully.

The golden eyes narrowed, examining her with disapproval.The man's eyes burned with cold intensity that bordered on obsession and her fear became more genuine and her false struggles took on a note of real urgency.

The little whore was a poor substitute with her hackneyed and false French accent and her gaudy makeup.Richard shut his eyes and nuzzled her neck, breathing in the lavender scent he'd insisted she douse herself with.

"Midii," he groaned.

Blood, warm and liquid, flowed over his long, slender fingers to mingle with the scarlet petals and this time there was no remorse.None at all.He owed Miss Midii Une a debt and it would be paid. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The living arrangement was working out rather well after all.As long as Midii didn't attempt cooking and Cathy didn't attempt decorating life was fairly harmonious.

Still it was nice to be alone, Midii thought, staring out at the apartment window at the stark colonial skyline.The designers of this colony had been into science fiction.Some colonies did their best to mimic Earth but the founding fathers of this one had lived out their fantasies of creating a wildly-futuristic technological dream. 

She thought it was hideous.

Black, white and steel gray dominated the landscape and even the trees and shrubs, where they existed at all, were strictly fashioned topiaries.Midii turned from the window and let her gaze slide to the trompe l'oeil mural she was attempting on the pantry doors.She moved closer to the little scene that portrayed a view of the French countryside.A very particular French countryside.

"I'm not very good," she muttered, smiling at herself derisively.But to her this view was better than the one the window provided.Her hand reached out and she touched the painted ropes of the swing that hung from an ancient tree.She rummaged in the cupboard beneath the sink and pulled out a little bottle of lilac-colored paint and a tiny brush then sat cross-legged before the doors dabbing on color and creating a blooming lavender field.

The view from her bedroom window at home, the memory of the happiest time of her life . . . 

"Trowa," she whispered, her mind wandering and her eyes going slightly unfocussed.If only he would come through that door right now.She smiled a bit and told herself she could be a bit more outrageous with her wishes, this was a fantasy after all.If only she could open her eyes and be there now, home on Earth, in France, with the sweet smell of grass around her and the breeze on her skin as she sat in her swing.If one gazed hard enough they could almost see the ocean from the little hill where the house sat and he would find her there as he had before.It was autumn now and they could go inside and he would build a fire and she would pour the wine and then the warm touch of his fingers on her face . . . 

"Midii! Where are you?I'm back," Cathrine's voice called out.

Midii hastily rubbed her paint-smeared hands down the legs of her worn jeans and rubbed the sleeve of her shirt over her eyes, they were misty with dreams and a few unshed tears.

"Right here," she croaked, her voice a little hoarse."Umm, right here," she called again, clearing her throat and peering over the countertop."How was dinner?Didn't he want to come in?"

Cathy beamed and shook her head."I would say he's shy but that isn't really it," she said, flopping on the couch and snuggling a small velvet pillow with silky fringe."He's just unsure of himself still.But yes, dinner was wonderful."

"That's true," Midii agreed, sinking into a chair opposite Cathrine."I would never consider describing Mr. Chang as shy."

She peered sharply at her friend and Cathy had to smile at the reappearance of a mischievous grin she hadn't seen on Midii's face in months. ****

"Do you have anything to tell me?Perhaps a small confidence to share," Midii questioned, her eyes sparkling as she tucked her legs underneath her and bounced slightly on the cushion.

Cathy smiled back, the expression on her face suddenly shy, but definitely radiant.

"He kissed me good night!"

The violet eyes danced joyously as she let her mind drift back to the last few moments with him.She saw again the lean, handsome face almost grim with determination but the soft look in his eyes had made her heart beat with slow, hard pulses as he leaned toward her.

Suddenly Midii frowned and her face lost its glow."Why do you suppose he wouldn't come up?Maybe it's me?Oh, Cath, I'm so sorry.I'm in your way."

Cathrine's face softened.

"Don't say that Midii," she protested, realizing herself that it was Wufei's respect for her and his sense of honor that had their relationship moving at such a snail's pace.It had nothing to do with Midii's presence."I came here to be with you, to take care of you.There'll be time enough for Wufei and I to work on our relationship.Trowa will be back soon . . ." 

"Did he call you," Midii questioned, her voice a bit bitter as she squashed Cathrine's attempt at reassurance."Have you even heard from him?"

"I'd tell you right away if he called," Cathy said, feeling a bit uncomfortable.Trowa was coming back, she was certain, but still his long, silent absence was starting to make her nervous . . . 

She changed the subject.

"Did you eat something?"

Midii shook her head.

"Actually, I'm really tired," she whispered, standing quickly and rushing out of the room.

Cathrine bit her lip and stared at the closed door listening to the muffled sobs coming from behind it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Duo took a deep breath as he walked down the hall at Preventer Headquarters looking for Heero.Beneath his arm a huge and solemn-faced teddy bear with black button eyes resided and Duo grinned in anticipation of waving it in front of Heero's face.Whenever he visited he brought along a particularly obnoxious gift with which to torment the Papa-to-be.This particular bear was covered in long, fuchsia-colored fur and would take up a great deal of floor space in the Yuy nursery.Duo's grin widened but his thoughts of teasing Heero were swayed by an enticing smell coming from the end of the hall, a warm, spicy, breakfast smell that was a combination of cinnamon, sugar and coffee.

Hell, Heero wasn't gonna be offering him any breakfast after the bear stunt, Duo thought, adjusting the unwieldy toy under his arm and damn that stuff smelled good.He followed his nose until he came upon a forlorn young man about his age sitting on the floor outside a locked office door.

Duo's violet gaze flicked up to the small nameplate on the door.Midii Une.He sighed.What are you getting into now Trouble, he thought, his eyes sharply scanning the dejected Preventer who waited with stubborn patience.This guy needed some friendly advice.

"Listen pal," he started, smirking as the man examined him, giving him the look he often got when people met him the first time.Okay, so he was a trip on first acquaintance.Well, Shinigami prided himself on being different."She ain't coming in today.She's not the most reliable chick y'know, health problems, emotional problems and all.Oh yeah, and one other really big problem."

Diarmid raised an eyebrow at the babbling American.Who the hell was this guy?

The teddy bear fell to the floor in an ungainly heap as Duo stuck out a hand.Walker got awkwardly to his feet and shook the offered hand, a quizzical look on his face.

"Duo Maxwell," the brown-braided young man said, smiling as recognition flashed over the other man's face."Nice to meet ya!For some of what you've got in the bag there and one of those coffees you can walk down the hall with me and I'll tell you a little secret about Trouble."

"Errr, Trouble," Walker repeated, glancing at Midii's closed door.He might have known her acceptance of his invitation yesterday was too good to be true.

He trotted along beside Duo until they came to a framed picture directly outside Lady Une's office.It was an awe-inspiring portrait of five pilots posing in front of a mobile suit and holding space helmets, all in Preventer uniform.Walker recognized Heero Yuy and Duo, the guy he was with, right away.All the others were familiar looking too--the Gundam Pilots.

"What does this have to do with anything," he asked, looking at Duo as if he were slightly crazy.

Duo shook his head, there was something like sympathy in his face.He punched the painted shoulder of the tall pilot on the left, the one who peered solemnly out from under auburn bangs.

"That's my buddy The Silencer," Duo said softly."Some things are meant to be y'see and people shouldn't mess with that kind of thing, no matter what the temptation."

Diarmid saw, he saw very clearly.This was Midii's boyfriend.The Silencer.Shit, what a nickname.The guys in the office must be laughing their asses off right about now.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Quatre massaged the palm and fingers of his left hand over his knee, pressing hard trying to feel something.Maybe there was something there, the rough sensation of cloth beneath his palm.Or maybe it was just wishful thinking.He looked down at his hand and then closed his eyes tightly in concentration.Move, he thought, wished, prayed.Sweat popped out on his creased, pale forehead and the fingertips jerked ever so slightly. Then the fingers of his right hand slid over the ivory keys before him in a practiced move that sent a hint of melody soaring through the acoustically perfect conservatory.

He would have it all back, all the feeling and dexterity, in time.But for now his hand still felt numb and clumsy.Hesitantly he lifted the nerve-damaged fingers and touched the keys, wincing at the jarring sound that his touch evoked from the instrument.

"Sorry," he whispered, the word coming automatically to his lips, it just made him feel apologetic to hear such an awful sound coming from such a beautiful piano.

Dorothy paused silently in the doorway.He was so brave and what he bore so tolerantly only made her angry, the whole situation made her want to rail at the unfairness of it all.

He could have been a world-class pianist, he could have been so many things but war had made him this, a wounded ex-pilot.It was an eye-opening experience to Dorothy who had hidden the reality of conflict behind the glorious outer trappings of battle.There was so much beneath the surface.So much loss, so many possibilities crushed by the reality of what war did to people.

She snorted, now she was beginning to sound like Miss Relena.

Quatre's unfinished tune played in her mind, she knew it, though she hadn't touched a piano since Papa died.He'd been the one to insist on her lessons and when he'd died she'd refused to play again.She'd only done it to please him and her disobedience had been like a tribute to his death.Yet now her fingers tingled to make music.For Quatre.

Wordlessly she slid next to him on the piano bench and began to play.A simple tune, a beginner's melody yet he looked at her, awed.The warmth of simple happiness flooded her cheeks as she felt him lay his head on her back while his left arm hugged her waist and his fingers tugged gently but awkwardly at her hair.

He was getting better.They would have it all back again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Duo's warning flew out the window when Midii came back to work a few days later.Walker accepted her terse, but vaguely timid, apology wholeheartedly.

"You sure you should be back here," he questioned, she was pale and her eyes were bloodshot and red-rimmed.

She groaned and he saw her smile."Not you too!My roommate, my friends, everyone treats me like I'll break in a strong breeze."

He held up his hands in apology and smiled."Okay, not another word.I promise.ButI'm sure your friends are only worried about you."

Midii adopted a perky grin and giggled raising her shoulders and shrugging cutely, she hadn't spent all that time with Cathy for nothing.Then she sighed as Diarmid eyed her strangely.

"Sorry," she apologized."I love my roommate truly, but she wants to drown me in soup!"

"I had an Irish mother myself," Walker laughed."She believed in meat and potatoes. That would be my prescription for you."

He reached out to casually touch her slender arm but she moved out of reach effortlessly and he pulled back the offending hand, making it seem as if he'd never really reached out at all.

"Well," Midii said."I truly am sorry about the other day."

Trouble.Emotional problems, health problems, and personal problems with some scary-looking Gundam pilot who had eyes like ice.He didn't care.That something in her eyes that touched his heart more than her looks was still there and bigger than before.She was hurting deep inside.

He'd gone back to stare at him, at Trowa Barton.He looked so cold, like he was more fighting machine than man.Did he open up for Midii, did he smile for her?Was his touch warm and gentle?

"Can we try again," he asked."Dinner tonight?No soup, I promise."

She smiled slightly.He caught on quickly.But she shook her head. "No I promised to only work half a day and if I don't come home on time Cathy will come down here and drag me back for a nap.But I do feel badly about this.Would you like to go for coffee tomorrow morning?"

Walker frowned."I sure would love that Midii darling," he said, struggling to keep his voice smooth and jovial."But I'm leaving on a mission tomorrow morning.But, if you'll let me say so you really look like you could use that coffee right about now."

He was surprised when she nodded, and he was infatuated enough not to notice that her interest had increased when he used the word mission.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Midii debated to herself but she couldn't find an angle to look at this that made the situation fair.He was a rookie, had never been on a mission of any kind, and had always been an office agent.And they were sending _him_ on a mission!

She would have been perfect, she thought in irritation, staring at Heero's office door.He was out.Relena had an ultrasound scheduled later and he had just taken the entire day off. 

"Baby Yuy, you're a very convenient child," Midii whispered, hacking the code into Heero's office.If she could only get a look at the mission details . . . she moved quietly into the dim room and breathed a sigh of relief when she made it to the comfortable leather chair behind the desk.

She almost screamed when the laptop in front of her flared to life all on it's own.

"Trowa," she breathed, her face pale as she stared at the image on Heero's vidscreen.Her heart thumped painfully in her chest.She hadn't seen Trowa since he'd shut that closet door, she could still envision the anger and betrayal in his eyes. Involuntarily she stiffened and pressed herself against the back of Heero's chair.

Trowa was speechless.What was she doing in Heero's office?Still, to see her again . . .the longing for her he had suppressed for months struck him like a blow.Midii . . . 

She closed her eyes briefly as if it hurt her to see him and her face was white and dismal.Her eyes opened and focused on him again.He had so much to say, he didn't know how to start."I love you, I'll come home right now if you want me.I miss you.I need you."

He said none of those things.

"Is Heero there," Trowa managed to ask, as Midii sank further down in the chair and put her fingertips to her right temple, shutting her eyes momentarily again.Her eyes opened and she stared searchingly at Trowa for a second before answering.

"He's at home," she said softly, "I'll connect you straight through."

She pressed a button and Trowa disappeared, his call forwarded to the private line in Heero's home office.Midii lay her head on her arms, her head was throbbing.Dammit, she cursed, I thought I was done with all this.Hot tears of hurt pricked her eyelids, after all this time he had nothing to say to her and yet seeing him had meant so much.

"I love you Trowa," the words sprang to her lips automatically and emerged as a soft whisper.She wished she had kept him on the line longer.Maybe he would have said something . . . she groaned and stopped thinking of Trowa, the pain of the headache overwhelming her senses.She reached for her purse and spilled the contents sloppily on Heero's desk, looking for her prescription.

"Dammit," she cursed, she'd left them at home, it had been almost a month since she'd had an attack, but now it was back full-force, blinding white-hot pain that made thought or movement impossible.

"Are you all right," Diarmid asked, he'd seen her sneak into Yuy's office after he left her and his curiosity had gotten the better of him.Midii could barely lift her head but she sensed him kneeling beside her chair and felt his hand on her arm.She couldn't even protest his touch.

"A headache," she muttered through gritted teeth."I get them since . . ."

Her words were cut off by a soft moan of pain.

"Should I get you to a doctor," he asked, even through the haze of agony she could sense the concern, the worry.Her guard against him dropped, it felt good to have someone care, she couldn't even function.She needed him.

"No, I have pills at home," she whispered."But, I don't think I can drive."

"That's obvious," he said."I'll take you home.You'll be alright." 

He helped her stand and she swayed on her feet, her head pounding mercilessly as she moved.

She was a mess, she could barely stand. Something must have brought this on, she had been fine when he'd seen her in the hall moments ago.Diarmid lifted her slight figure in his arms, half-expecting her to protest his familiarity but she laid her head trustingly on his shoulder her arms going around his neck.

"It's okay sweetheart," he whispered, her gesture tugging at his heartstrings."I'm here.I'll always be here."

Lord, he thought, staring down at her pale face, she felt so right in his arms he never wanted to let her go.She was the loveliest girl he'd ever seen.He'd thought of giving up, she obviously wasn't interested.But she needed him, he saw that now.She'd been alone too long with no one to count on.Even Trowa had proven he couldn't be counted on when she needed someone most.But he would be, he'd make her see that. He brushed his lips softly over her clammy forehead.I could fall in love with you Midii darling, he thought as he carried her to his car.He didn't want to think what it would mean if he already had.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The man at the counter had been there a long time.So long that the waitresses on duty at the all-night coffee shop had changed shifts.

Molly was a rookie, she'd only worked there a few weeks.And the new hires got the roughest shift.Midnight to 8 am.Still, a job was a job and she was innately cheerful so the odd hours didn't bother her much.She was a lot luckier than some of the people who came in for coffee at this time of night.At least she had a better place to be, home with her family. They needed the money, though, and that was why she worked this job.She smiled softly at the thought of her younger brothers, asleep in their beds, their soft blonde hair and sleep-flushed cheeks.The people who came in probably didn't even have that much. 

The man at the counter kept catching her eye, although she couldn't see much of him beyond the color of his hair.He studied the countertop as if it held some type of answers that would mend his broken heart.

She smiled wryly at the thought.How do you know his heart is broken, she asked herself.It was obvious, her own heart answered, you could tell just by the way he held his shoulders and didn't look around or meet anyone's eyes. He wasn't the type who should be in a place like this alone.

"Refill," she asked softly, receiving the barest of nods.

Molly turned away, brushing a strand of golden hair back behind her ear and digging a hair clip out of her pocket to hold back the stubborn locks that were always falling forward.She started measuring out scoops of coffee beans to refill the grinder.

The irritating grinding noise broke through Trowa's self-imposed solitude, he glanced up and for a moment he saw Midii there behind the counter. Her hair was long again, the familiar golden color, like a dream of when they had been happy together, the soft waves falling nearly to her waist.Except Midii would never have been caught dead in a blue polyester waitress's uniform, a small smile curved his mouth at the thought of her distaste.Somehow she'd always found a way to live as elegantly as she could on her small salary, even at the expense of lights and even food.Memories of their life together assailed him, she was candlelight and silk; fine wine and satin sheets; love and passion.He missed her so much but he could never go back. ****

His eyes were drawn to the girl again, she had turned and he could see now that her resemblance to Midii was a product of his imagination and the color of her hair.The waitress had a sunny, open smile and she leaned unselfconsciously on the counter in front of him.She's probably never told more than a little white lie her whole life, Trowa thought, mesmerized by the honesty of her sweet face.

"Can I get you something else," she asked.Molly had checked his bill, he'd only had coffee, nothing to eat."Come on," she tried again, after he shook his head."We've got great chicken soup here, homemade.I bet you've never had anything like it."

"Sure," Trowa said, he felt almost obligated to eat when she put it that way.She sounded so much like Cathy and his heart ached for her as well as Midii.At least they're together, he thought, and probably Cathy wanted him to come back although Midii obviously wanted him to stay away.Her pained expression when she'd answered his call in Heero's office haunted him, he'd wanted to project himself through the screen and hold her. But she'd been so cold, so distant and her voice had been strained and polite.As if he were a stranger.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Diarmid carefully lifted the damp cloth off Midii's forehead.She was finally asleep, it had taken those damn pills way too long to take effect, he thought in irritation.He'd been ready to track down Sally Po and drag her to Midii's apartment by those braids of hers and make her help her, but then she'd finally fallen asleep, the pained look replaced by a calm, angelic expression.

It almost hurt his heart to look at her delicate beauty and think of all that life had put her through.Let me in Midii darling, I can make you happy again, he thought, his hand tracing the lines of her face with a touch he wouldn't dare if she were awake.She tolerated him as a friend but he knew she'd freeze up if he crossed her invisible line.Right now she was still clinging stubbornly to the belief that she and Trowa had something.

But Diarmid was philosophical, he'd take what he could get and someday she'd realize that that perhaps that Gundam pilot wasn't the only man who could make her happy, that maybe she deserved more than love tainted by guilt and distrust.He looked at her sleeping face tenderly.Did Trowa Barton see what he did?That hers was a sweet and badly wounded soul that needed love and forgiveness.No, Diarmid decided, he couldn't see because if he did nothing would keep him away from her side.Childhood dreams died hard, but he would be persistent and he would always be there for her.

He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't hear the door open, but he heard the voices in the other room.The soft, cheerful voice that could only be Midii's roommate Cathy and a vaguely familiar whisper.When he recognized it, he barely choked down a laugh.Chang Wufei, the ominous Preventer, had a sweetheart?Picturing Wufei whispering and cuddling with any woman was nearly unimaginable, he put up such a stoic and stern front.He also had the feeling this Cathy wasn't going to be happy to find a stranger in Midii's bedroom that was for sure, but he didn't want her waking Midii up either, after the medicine had finally put her to sleep.

Here we go, he thought, stepping out of Midii's bedroom and closing the door behind him softly.

Walker went down in a heavy, awkward heap as he was tackled from behind by a lithe but hard-hitting assailant.The cold metal of a gun barrel pressed painfully against his temple with obvious intent.

"Whoever you are you'd better have a damned good reason for being here," the soft voice hissed.The weight on his back that held him in place on the floor, a floor, which he oddly noticed, was meticulously clean, shifted as a slender figure brushed past them and hurried into the bedroom.

"Cathrine! Stupid onna, wait for me before running into a dark room," the assailant grumbled, hauling Diarmid to his feet and following her inside.

A girl with auburn curls bent anxiously over the bed."I think she's just asleep," she said, her voice shaking with relief.She left the room and closed the door softly behind her.

Her calm escaped her as she turned on the stranger and fisted her small hand in his shirt as Wufei held him.A nearly invisible smirk of pride twitched Wufei's lips at her reaction before he hid it again under a stern professional mask.How dare an intruder come into _his_ woman's apartment!

"Who are you," Cathrine demanded."If you've hurt Midii I'll get my knives and skewer you.I can do it too! I'm a professional." 

Diarmid finally found his voice.

"I'm from Preventer," he said."You'll find my ID in my wallet, in my jacket, on the couch."

Cathrine dug through the jacket pockets and turned up the promised ID and Wufei reluctantly turned the intruder loose, albeit he kept a suspicious eye pinned on him.

"What happened," Cathrine asked, glowering darkly at the interloper. Could it be that Midii was giving up on Trowa? She couldn't.He needed her, he would realize it soon and come back to them both."Why are you here?You aren't seeing Midii!She's waiting for Trowa.You should know she loves Trowa.Just leave her alone!"

"Trowa," Diarmid shot back, "is the whole reason I'm here.She saw him this afternoon and it brought back the headaches.She couldn't even drive. I stayed with her till the pills knocked her out."

"Where did she see Trowa," Cathy asked, peering around the room as if her brother might pop out from behind the couch or a chair.

"She was working in Heero's office when he called in his weekly report," Diarmid said.

"Has he tracked down Ichiban yet," Wufei asked, standing beside Cathrine and placing an arm around her waist. ****

Diarmid shook his head. "I checked in with Preventer Yuy, I figured he'd be upset that she 'borrowed' his office.He said there was no progress."

"Oh," Cathrine said, disappointment evident in her voice."Then he's not coming back anytime soon?I don't understand why it has to be Trowa to go on this mission.He should be here with us.He's done enough already."

"Yes, he has," Diarmid said, unable to keep a note of sarcasm from his voice."It is his choice to be on this mission although I can't totally fault him.I can't honestly say I wouldn't like a crack at that bastard Ichiban myself."

"How is Midii," Cathrine said, glaring at the interloper."Did you give her the right number of pills?Is she asleep."

Diarmid nodded and Cathrine sighed."Thank you then, for bringing her home.You're right that she shouldn't drive when she has the attacks," she said, justice forcing her to apologize for her earlier reaction.

"It was no problem," Diarmid said."I care about her and I'll be her friend or whatever else she needs in spite of your opinion Miss Bloom."

Cathrine glared at the door, which shut softly behind Diarmid.

Wufei looked at the door too.Trowa should come back, he thought, or he'd find himself alone.Women were fickle creatures and Walker seemed determined to make Midii change her mind.His fingers slid lovingly over the smooth skin of Cathrine's slender wrist, before he shook himself out of his sentimental reverie.

"I should go," he said, noticing Cathrine was impatient to check on Midii."I'll call you."

Cathrine smiled and gave Wufei a smacking kiss on the lips."Good night," she whispered in his ear, pressing herself against him."I had a wonderful time.But I really want to go sit with Midii and be sure she's alright. Thank you for understanding."

She sighed and rested her head on his chest, enjoying the feeling of his arms around her a moment longer.

"Trowa is coming back," she said, more to herself than Wufei."He just has to.They love each other so much."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~

_I leap from depthsShakusen no_

_of debt into the skies:fuchi kara tenjo_

_autumn of the dragon.tatsu no aki[1]_

_ _

Trowa brushed his hair out of his face and peered at the little card found among the roses.The roses that were withered and wilted but still gave off a delicate, if musty, flowery scent.It was barely there, an undertone to the horrific and fetid stench that filled the room.

The smell lingered and stuck in his throat but he fought back the natural nausea that occurred even in someone that had seen and done all that he had in his years as a soldier.

He had to look; he had forced his way into the investigation with his Preventer's credentials.The discovery of the haiku had piqued his interest in what seemed a typical murder case.Prostitutes got murdered in the line of 'duty'.It was a hazard of the job.Typical except for the poem and the obvious expense the killer had undertaken to set up just the right atmosphere.His gut clenched as he heard the investigators compare the scene to a recent murder that had taken place on the Moon.Could it have been at the same time Ichiban had hidden there?

"Listen pal, Preventer orders or no, we gotta get that dead chick outta here.This place is rank," an impatient police officer prodded.

Trowa swallowed but could get no moisture worked up in his cotton-dry mouth.All he could see was the long blonde hair streaming over the curled brown rose petals.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Cathrine scowled and flung an arm over her face.She'd fallen asleep on the couch without pulling the blinds and the artificial sunlight was pouring into the room as bright as a lighthouse beacon.

She stumbled off the couch and yawned, stretching the kinks out of her back, but her scowl remained.Imagine the nerve of that man, that Walker person, putting the moves on Midii.She shook her head, poor Midii, they'd been hoping the headaches had gone away.She'd better take a peek and see how she was.

Her soft violet eyes scanned the room in shock and sleepy disbelief.She was gone.She looked at her watch.6:45 am.Midii and 6:45 am was an unheard of combination

She was gone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Next time on Price of Redemption . . . Being a field Preventer isn't an easy task . . . Trowa plays the clown . . . Is it _that_ easy to kill Richard Ichiban?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Author's Note:Need a Trowa/Midii fluffy citrus fix?Please go read [Au Revoir][1], I really need feedback on that fic!!

[1]Ichiban's death haiku was found at this site:[http://www.geocities.com/TokyoFlats/1120][2]

I'm running out of good ones so if there are any poets reading this why not submit your haiku to me for use in this story?? I'll give you full credit in the story of course.Deadline May 14, 2001.Send to [MidiiUne@gundamwing.org][3]Til' next time!!

   [1]: http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=257535
   [2]: http://www.geocities.com/TokyoFlats/1120
   [3]: mailto:MidiiUne@gundamwing.org



	15. Chapter 15

The Price of Redemption  
By Midii Une  
  
Chapter 15  
  
Emptiness.  
  
When he'd found her again and the inevitable conclusion to their reunion had been reached he had thought that emptiness inside him would be a thing of the past.  
  
But that wasn't to be. It was back but this time there were sharp edges left behind. Their present, their future destroyed, he couldn't protect it from the destructive forces that threatened from the outside.  
  
He'd always envied those who had something to protect, maybe it had all started with Midii, the conviction in her voice when she told him why she'd destroyed his world. And then he had finally gotten his wish, he had someone to protect. Only in finding her he had lost the single-mindedness that made him what he was.  
  
Were they right? Had he been lucky during the war, lucky not to have strong feelings for anyone, enemy or friend. Midii had said so and later, after the war was over he'd met someone he'd fought with before moving to L3. And Ralph had said the same thing as Midii.  
  
"I think I envied you Trowa," he'd said, and although the words were an attempt to gain his friendship there was truth in them. "You had no doubts, no distractions. You were the perfect soldier."  
  
Had he been better off then? He had cared about no one and no one could beat him. And now he cared too much and he couldn't even find one man. It didn't matter that that man had been trained to hide himself, was as good as Midii was at disappearing.   
  
"I found her once," he reminded himself, remembering the little stone house, the days of perfect happiness.  
  
"I'll find him."  
  
He didn't feel reassured.  
  
The digital clock numbers flipped. It was 2:30 am. Sleep, Trowa commanded himself. There had been a time when he had been so disciplined that that had been all it took. Now his eyelids sprung open. He didn't know if he'd feel any better once he found Ichiban but it was the driving force that kept him going right now in a world where Midii looked at him with icy detachment in her eyes and even his dreams of her were marred by blood.  
  
Trowa got out of bed, he was fully dressed, it barely seemed worth the trouble to take his clothes off when he knew he wouldn't sleep. Trowa turned on the cold-water tap and let the water run over his hand till it was icy and then he ran his fingers over his face. He rolled his shoulder, easing out the stiffness where Eva had shot him as she died. Why, he wondered, why was it so easy for her to make me doubt Midii? Why did losing her have to be the price of his doubt?   
  
Inside the little diner it was bright and warm. Perpetually cheerful, perpetually daylight. The door squeaked and Molly felt her heart race a little when the tall, familiar figure came in. He'd told her he wouldn't be around long but with the inter-colonial space shuttle pilots' strike threatening he might get stranded here. If that happened it would be like it had used to be before the war had ended. It didn't bother Molly much, she had never traveled off this colony but a lot of the customers spent a lot of time complaining about it.  
  
And somehow she was pleased that it meant he might stay. Trowa.  
  
"Molly," an amused voice sang. "Oh Molly, you're staring!"  
  
She blushed and turned back to the coffee grinder. "Stop it Heidi! He'll hear you," she protested, shooting her co-worker a look of embarrassed dismay. "I just think he's handsome that's all. Tell me you don't think so? Besides he's so nice."  
  
"How can you tell," Heidi snorted derisively. "He never says anything. Although he does usually leave a decent tip."  
  
"I can just tell," Molly said softly, her eyes focused with yearning on the handsome, mysterious stranger.  
  
It was always a shock when she leaned into the booth and poured his coffee, in that first second her likeness to Midii was almost like a slap in the face.  
  
"It's quiet tonight," she said, sliding into the seat across from him. When he really looked at her the feeling faded, she was nothing like Midii.   
  
"Talk to me," he said, raising his eyes from the table to look at her pretty face. She looked happy and innocent, if a bit tired from all the work she did. Had Midii ever in her life looked like that? Genuinely innocent and really happy? How would he even know it if she did, the mask she wore was as real as the one he did when he performed in the circus.  
  
It was odd for Trowa to pry into the life of strangers but now he wondered what it was like to be just a regular person. Not an orphaned soldier with extraordinary skills that was in love with a girl that had killed the only people he'd felt were his family, but just a person who didn't have the weight of the world on their shoulders. Someone like Molly.  
  
"Oh gosh," she said, a blush creeping over her cheeks as she became flustered by his request. "I'm so boring Trowa. I take care of my brothers, sleep a little while they're at school and work here at night. That's about all I've ever done. I've worked all kinds of little jobs to support them since my Dad died. I love them a lot. Maybe you'll meet them some day."  
  
"That must have been hard on you," Trowa said. Maybe no one had had it easy, it was all in the way you handled it. What was it that made Midii so different than Molly? He'd asked her about her brothers once but she'd shied away from the question as if he'd touched an open wound. He wasn't being fair to her, he knew, everyone had different circumstances.  
  
Molly nodded. "It was tough, but things are finally better now they're older and they help me out. I just wish I could do more for them, we really don't have a lot."  
  
He was silent awhile before she dared to ask the question that had been on her mind.  
  
"Why are you here Trowa," she asked. "Don't you have anyone? Tell me about you."  
  
What could he say? His own life was so bizarre no one like her would believe and if they did they'd be shocked.  
  
"It didn't work out," he sighed.  
  
"I'm so sorry," she said sincerely. "Do you want to talk about it? What happened?"   
  
Molly couldn't imagine any girl breaking things off with this guy. He had something special about him she couldn't put her finger on. He was far from ordinary and his being here alone like this with only her for a friend seemed very odd.  
  
"I got angry," he said, actually considering and looking at what happened, forcing himself to relive it. "We knew each other when we were children and something awful happened between us. We got back together not so long ago and everything was great but something happened and it was like our past slapped me in the face. She hadn't done anything wrong but I overreacted, I couldn't believe in her after what happened before. I said horrible things, I know I hurt her . . ."  
  
"Won't she forgive you?" Molly asked, shocked by his confession. It was hard to believe this kind, quiet man could ever have such an awful break-up with someone he cared for and she could tell by his voice that he still loved the girl he talked about.  
  
He shook his head. "I haven't even told you all of it. She nearly died, how could she forgive me? I saw her the other day, I called someone I knew and she was there. The look on her face . . .she wanted so much for me to believe in her and I couldn't. Maybe I should never have tracked her down in the first place but I wanted to be with her so much that I didn't let it matter."  
  
Molly reached her small hand, reddened by time spent in dishwater, toward Trowa's and laid it over his comfortingly. They sat in silence as she wondered about what he said. It all seemed so unreal, so far away from the bright pleasant diner, so dark and unbelievable.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Molly rubbed her eyes. It had taken so much longer than usual to fall asleep and she wondered if the boys were home already as the doorbell rang insistently again. She looked at the clock. It was only noon.  
  
"Coming," she shouted, as she climbed reluctantly out of bed and stumbled to the door.  
  
She stared with sleep-dazed eyes at the huge bouquet of perfect blood-red roses the delivery boy held out to her.  
  
"For me," she asked, disbelief coloring her voice. No one had ever sent her flowers before.  
  
"Molly Adams," the boy asked, impatient to get his tip and leave.  
  
The tired girl nodded and he handed her the flowers and looked at her expectantly. "Oh a tip," she said, smiling softly as the lovely fragrance of the roses surrounded her. She was a waitress and she knew the value of a tip. Molly ran to the kitchen and returned with some crumpled bills from the hidden stash in the unused teapot and paid the boy before turning her attention to the flowers.  
  
She opened the little white card.  
  
It only lingers   
Your touch shall now disappear  
I´ll see tomorrow[1]  
  
"A little poem," she said wonderingly, guessing at it's meaning. It made very little sense and there was no signature.  
  
"These must be from Trowa," she thought, touching the soft petals gently with her fingertips and smiling happily. He'd walked her home, telling her it was dangerous to be out so early in the morning with so few people around and he'd finally accepted her invitation to dinner tonight to meet her brothers.  
  
Was it possible he could ever forget the girl who was causing him so much heartache? Her heart pounded with excitement before she cautioned herself not to read too much into his sending her flowers. He was just being nice and it seemed clear that they couldn't be more than friends. But she couldn't help smiling even if she didn't know what the words he'd written her meant.  
  
She glanced around the cramped little apartment. Her excitement over the flowers banished her exhaustion and she felt a sudden urge to clean the place until it shone. Molly pulled open the heavy blinds and blinked out at the sunny sky, marred by a criss-cross of wires that ran over the nearby hydro-power plant that provided most of the energy for their sector of the colony. Their proximity to the plant made the apartment more affordable but she really didn't mind the view and the ever-present roar of the turbulent swirling water was soothing in a way.  
  
She shivered a little despite the sunlight as she looked at the rough water. Sometimes though she had nightmares that Andy, her youngest brother was teetering on the edge of the abyss. But that was silly, she could admit in the daylight. The surrounding walls were too high for a 6-year-old to manage. He was safe. Absently she fingered the bouquet of roses still in her hand.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Cathrine's eyes glittered. Wasn't Heero going to do anything about Midii's disappearance? They were all taking this way too calmly. He should call Trowa right now; he'd come home for sure. If he didn't come back soon he'd be stranded wherever he was by the stupid shuttle pilots' strike everyone was talking about.  
  
"Aren't you listening? Midii's gone. I know something's happened to her," Cathrine said for the third time, her frustration increasing as Heero looked at her blankly. "Those flowers came after she left. The card scared me. You need to look for her."  
  
The tears she sheds on parting will  
turn to dew when morning comes  
Those tears, like pearls, fall in vain[2]  
  
Heero read over the card that Cathrine threw on his desk. His eyes narrowed, definitely another threat from Ichiban. But why would he send the flowers to Midii if he had already made her disappear?  
  
Finally he spoke.  
  
"I think all of us are getting a little tired of Midii's disappearing. We have no reason to believe Richard Ichiban is on this colony. The spaceports are being carefully monitored and according to Trowa's last report the suspect in the Brussels incident is still on the same colony he is," Heero said. "Midii Une is not in Preventer custody, she's an employee. Of course if she doesn't show up at work in a few days she'll lose her position but that's it."  
  
Cathrine glared but it was ineffectual, Heero had seen much worse in his life.  
  
"I want you to contact Trowa and let him decide," she said, reaching up to tug on her earring, forgetting momentarily that she'd misplaced her lucky star-shaped jewelry. It seemed like a bad sign on a day that was already setting her on edge.  
  
"If she's not back next time he checks in then I'll mention it to him," Heero said, effectively ending their meeting. He had a good idea where Midii might be and if she was successful he'd let the matter drop. It was at Sally's insistence that he'd kept her from going out on a few easy missions. She'd just better not mess things up. Still he had a feeling she was just the person they needed on this particular case.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Diarmid Walker restrained himself, but only barely, from slamming the door of Thomas Bertrand's office. He'd learned absolutely nothing from the Union President except the strike was nearly a sure thing. The Preventer Agency could not let this happen but their offer of help with the important negotiations had been summarily turned down.  
  
He'd been so confident when Lady Une had given him this chance.  
  
"Your superiors on Earth have described you as loyal and charming," she'd said, almost smiling back as he grinned at her.  
  
"Use those skills to get a foothold with the Union President, Mr. Bertrand," she continued. "This strike must be avoided at all costs. It's almost as if someone is trying to stop people from traveling between colonies. That was one of the main complaints of people in space during the war and we have to maintain the people's confidence in their freedom. Do you understand?"  
  
And he'd assured her that he could easily manage this mission. Who'd have guessed Bertrand would turn out to be such a stubborn jerk? In a way though it was almost as if he'd been frightened. Walker needed to determine what had this powerful man so afraid of their help. And he needed to do it fast. The contract deadline was almost upon them and without a new contract space travel would shut down and throw the colonies into turmoil.  
  
He was lost in thought and didn't notice the girl staring out the window and tugging on her hair, primping her reflection in the window.  
  
Determination glinted in her eyes as she caught the young man in the corner of her eye and kept her back turned until he was out of sight. She smiled at the departing figure thinking she owed him a favor for helping her out last night and since she was unofficial someone other than herself would have to take the credit for the successful mission. And it would be successful. She reached up and touched the star-shaped earring she wore for good luck and replaced the smile with a shy and nervous expression.  
  
Bertrand looked up from his desk at a sound in the doorway.  
  
"Who the hell are you," he asked, disapproval in his voice, as he looked the girl over. Her sun-streaked blonde hair was caught up in two large ponytails on each side of her head and she wore tiny yellow-tinted sunglasses on the tip of her nose that had to be for decoration rather than to see with. She looked like she belonged in a dance club serving drinks, not here in his office. Her bangle bracelets clanged together as she lifted a hand to tug on her hair shyly.  
  
She stuck out a hand and smiled at him disarmingly.  
  
"Why I'm Mimi Dunn, of course. The temporary the service sent over. I'm so happy to meet you Mr. Bertrand," she said, a soft Australian accent coloring her voice.  
  
Bertrand sighed as the girl knocked over the pencil holder on his desk and kept chattering as she picked up the mess. First that irritating Preventer agent and now this inept temporary secretary, could his day get any worse?  
  
The girl, Mimi, complained about the room being stuffy and opened a window, the stiff winter breeze blowing important contract documents around the room and he wondered why he had asked himself such a stupid question.  
  
"Sorry," she blushed, bending to pick up the papers, allowing him a glimpse at the deep V in the snug-fitting orange shirt she wore over a short yellow suede skirt.  
  
He swallowed painfully, she was clumsy and seemed rather stupid but she was really a cute girl and he didn't have the heart to fire her when she smiled at him hopefully her eyes shining behind those ridiculous little sunglasses. He was 45 years old, his hair starting to thin and his middle starting to thicken and he was totally willing prey to the charms of 19-year-old girls.  
  
Secretarial skills were optional. Just looking at Miss Dunn would relieve the stress these negotiations were overwhelming him with.  
  
"Strange," Midii thought, returning her attention to the papers she picked up as she crawled around on the floor affording Bertrand a better view of her assets and cementing his decision to let her stay in his employ. It seemed as if they weren't even trying to negotiate this important issue. Half these papers hadn't even been updated. Something was rotten in this office and she was just the agent to find it out  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was happening again, she was unhappy and frightened and he had this ungodly urge to do something about it. Chang Wufei did not like being overwhelmed by anything, particularly things that had to do with emotions. Most particularly emotions that had to do with women.  
  
First he'd only wanted her to stop ranting about Heero and Trowa and Richard Ichiban. He was thankful she hadn't expected him to go running after her wayward roommate. He cringed at the thought of entangling himself in that woman's life again. Their few short days working together in Brussels had been more than enough for one lifetime, thank you very much. Trowa was welcome to her and even he had finally had the sense to run from the walking disaster that was Midii Une.  
  
Cathrine however held on tightly to those she loved, fierce as a mother lion. And she loved Midii having gotten the odd notion in her head that she was the only girl for Trowa.   
  
So while she hadn't actually said she wanted him to go over Heero's head and order an active search for Midii he could sense her turbulence and genuine anxiety. Part of him was touched by her obvious sense of honor; even now she wouldn't use their relationship to get what she wanted from him. Cathrine Bloom was a rare woman and beautiful as well.  
  
Finally she came to rest beside him, her nervous motion stilled by tiredness and a deep need, a need to be held and reassured. Cathy sat cross-legged on the couch and clutched one of the many little velvet pillows that Midii had filled the room with, most of them were too small to actually curl up and lay your head on but Cathrine had found they were wonderful just to hold on to. Her fingers tangled in the silky fringe as she swallowed back her tears. She didn't want to cry, not in front of him. His opinion meant so much to her and she wished she could meet her problems with the serenity and conviction this man seemed to have.   
  
"Close your eyes," he said, the voice matter-of-fact with no trace of condescension or even sympathy. He simply was.  
  
"Close your eyes," he said again and she did as he said, feeling the strong fluid motion of his fingers softly stroking the back of her neck in a soothing rhythm.  
  
"We can't control people. The only individual we have power over is ourselves. Each person makes their own decisions and is responsible for their own well-being," he said quietly, repeating the ancient wisdom of his childhood studies.  
  
Her eyes flew open and she shook her head stubbornly, so like a child, her auburn curls shaking with the motion of her head and her full lower lip pushing out slightly.  
  
"You have to take care of the ones you love," she insisted, meeting his eyes. "You have to keep them safe."  
  
Trying to do that was like banging your head against a brick wall, Wufei thought, banishing memories of Meiran and then forcing himself to think of her. Perhaps this was the time after all . . .   
  
"I was married," he said, almost smiling at the total surprise on her face. Her face was so expressive and she never hid her emotions.  
  
"Huh? Married? What happened," she asked. He could tell that if nothing else at least his story would distract her, but he hoped that it would help her too.  
  
"She died. I thought a strong husband should protect his wife but she died anyway. I fought the war to honor her spirit. She wanted to be justice-Nataku, I couldn't stop her or protect her."  
  
"I'm sorry, so sorry," Cathrine said. But she was puzzled. Surely after what happened to him he must see her point of view.   
  
'I don't understand," she sighed. "You know I'm right, you lost someone. Why don't you see?"  
  
On top of everything else had they all been right about him? Had she been considering giving her heart to someone who was cold and unfeeling, someone constrained from loving because of his own overwhelming sense of self-righteousness?  
  
Were the two of them so far apart in philosophy that being together like this was ridiculous? She had admired him, his strength, his quiet dignity, the beauty she saw in the silky black strands that framed his face. Had she been wrong?  
  
The soothing fingers caressing her neck stopped their motion. Where were things heading? He could sense her quickened breathing as her emotions rose; see the fire building in her pale violet eyes. Cathrine.  
  
Fiery and gentle, a truly incendiary combination in a woman.  
  
As far as he was concerned . . .   
  
His fingers began moving again, caressing instead of massaging, the feel of her skin sending signals up the network of nerve endings and setting off something primitive and uncontrolled, dissolving a wall that had seemed so solid and strong.  
  
The black eyes that studied her inscrutably seemed veiled as always but they held an oddly alert look as if he was weighing her character.  
  
The fire hidden in Cathrine Bloom sparked and flashed suddenly, the effect devastating. Her eyes sparkled beneath slanted lids, giving her an exotic gypsyish quality and passion transformed her face into that of a gorgeous avenging angel.  
  
"You wont' say it but you're thinking I'm a weak fool! Aren't you? I always thought you were just quiet that there was more inside of you," Cathrine said, her doubts and suspicions about her companion flooding to the surface and breaking forth like a burst dam. "I can't be like you. Can't care only for the big picture. What does the big picture matter if you can't save the ones you love?"  
  
He couldn't answer and as his fingers trailed down the soft, heated skin of her arm she yanked away violently.  
  
"Go away," she said. "I'd rather be alone than be with someone who just doesn't care about anyone else."  
  
Time stopped and everything seemed magnified and terribly intense. It was as if each of her breaths, each of her heartbeats was like his own, keeping them both alive. Angry tears glittered like tiny jewels on the edge of her lashes and the rise and fall of her breasts was rapid, mirroring the unprecedented racing of his own heart.  
  
Leave her? Get out of her life?  
  
Because she thought he didn't care.   
  
Wufei stood, honor battling with growing despair. If he left he knew he would never allow himself to come back. Her red lips trembled slightly as she looked up at him with angry, luminous eyes.  
  
Was he just going to leave, she wondered, had her accusations been correct? Part of her had hoped he'd defend himself at least. Prove to her he cared about something, someone.   
  
Her.  
  
Black eyes held violet in a battle of wills. Wufei saw Trowa beneath his sword, the look in his eyes bringing doubts as he used his strength to protect Dekim Barton. The same look in Cathrine's eyes, some uncanny link between them.  
  
Her beliefs were not his and yet she was not wrong. Except on one point. He cared for someone.  
  
Her.  
  
Cathrine.  
  
Unbelievably his own voice was breaking the heavy silence between them. His tone soft and coming from a place deep in the hidden recesses of his heart. A place he had never looked before, a place that had never been touched by another.  
  
"I won't leave then," he said, sitting back down beside her and firmly replacing his hand on her arm in a possessive grasp. "I won't back down. You have to let people live their own lives, they will Cathrine, no matter how you fight it. But I do know what it is to care and maybe I love you because you care so much, because you can show me how."  
  
A tear dropped from the edge of her lash and his hand rose to catch it. A warm diamond in his hand before it soaked in.  
  
"You love me," she whispered, her anger dying as she heard his confession, her face as beautiful as realization brought a soft look of passion as it had been in the heat of her anger.  
  
"I can show you," he said, drawing closer. "There are no words. But if you let me . . ."  
  
She took his hand and brought it to the curve of her cheek, pressing herself against his fingers and closing her eyes.  
  
"Please," she said. "Show me."  
  
Her hand guided his to the curve of her breast, the soft skin swelling over the snug material of her shirt. It was warm beneath his hand, the pounding of her heart an intoxicating rhythm that heated his blood. Inside something stirred, his sense of honor protested the step he was about to take, but as she bent forward to touch his lips with hers passion overwhelmed honor.  
  
Gratification as fierce and strong as victory in battle swept over him as she whispered her love and clung to him as he showed her what he felt.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Midii felt eyes on her and smiled over the top of her computer screen, fingers ready to hide the files she was copying. Perhaps she looked too busy, too competent, she worried, reaching for a tube of cotton-candy flavored lip gloss she kept in her desk drawer right next to the little sandpaper nail file and all Mimi Dunn's other important accessories.  
  
She applied the gloss generously, humming a little, pursing her lips and seeming to admire her reflection in the computer screen as she scanned the incriminating information. Her attention wavered as the cotton candy scent lingered sweet and sugary in the air.  
  
He hid something behind his back; she'd glimpsed the pink wrapped in plastic before he hurried to conceal his secret from her prying eyes.   
  
"Flowers! Oh Trowa," she shrieked in delight, more that he had thought to make the romantic gesture than from excitement over the flowers themselves.  
  
He shook his head and backed away, biting back laughter.  
  
"Don't try to hide! I already saw," she said smugly, confident he could hide nothing from her.  
  
Slowly he withdrew the gift from behind his back.  
  
"Cotton candy?! You brought me a bouquet of cotton candy," she said, her voice teasing as they played their game. She knew exactly where it would lead them. "Trowa that stuff is junk. Nothing but pure sugar."  
  
"Then you don't like it," he asked, turning the tables and affecting a pout. "It's called a stick of cotton candy Midii, not a bouquet."  
  
She laughed and shrugged, shaking her head over the novelty of Trowa, pouting. In all her dreams of being with him she had never hoped for something as simple as this.  
  
"Okay," she admitted, coughing slightly. "It's a lovely gift. Very pretty pink. But what do you expect me to do with it?"  
  
He looked at her as if she were stupid.  
  
"You eat it Midii."  
  
"The thought makes my teeth hurt," she protested. "Besides, I'll get fat!"  
  
Trowa tossed the candy aside and caught her around the waist lifting her easily over his head until she was suspended above him looking down between curtains of golden hair.  
  
"Let me down, you'll drop me," she begged, gasping with laughter as he held her in place close to the ceiling, his arms unshaking. She felt her stomach flip-flop as he took his hands away and she fell through the air for a second before he caught her again and pulled her close for a kiss, feeling her heart pound against his chest.  
  
They stood quietly wrapped in each other's arms, it was that way sometimes between them a magical moment when they both realized how lucky they were to be together, despite everything. Finally he let go to retrieve his candy and hold it out to her again.  
  
"Okay," she sighed in defeat. "One bite."  
  
She reached out and gingerly pulled off a small fluffy piece of the pink spun sugar.   
  
"Wouldn't chocolates with raspberry liqueur inside been more appropriate she asked, stalling, and raising an inquisitive eyebrow at her lover.  
  
Trowa sighed and Midii mimicked the sound then stuck out her tongue before backing away to avoid any other sneak attacks, feeling she'd spent enough time in the air for one day.  
  
She popped the bit of cotton candy in her mouth and her eyes lit with that childlike bliss the stuff seemed to inspire in everyone. Midii saw his triumphant gaze and tried to resist but her hand seemed to move on it's own to grab another, larger piece of the candy.  
  
"D'accord," she said, smiling with slightly-sticky pink lips. "It's not so bad."  
  
"You're not doing it right," Trowa said, pulling the stick away as she reached for another piece.  
  
"What! I'm eating it. I said it was good," Midii protested. "What makes you so difficult to please tonight?"  
  
"I'm a professional," Trowa said, demonstrating the proper way to eat a stick of cotton candy, bending his into the pink cloud and coming away with fluffy bits stuck to his nose.  
  
"Well," Midii said dryly, "your way does have its advantages you look so cute with that stuff in your hair."  
  
"Shit," Trowa cursed. 'It's in my hair?"  
  
She nodded and made a grab for the candy, making a dash for the bedroom and bouncing onto the bed as he followed, peering at himself in the mirror over her dresser and examining his hair. Midii continued giggling, he was strangely protective of his hair and it was rather comical to see him searching through the long bangs for some sign of confectionary contamination.  
  
Hesitantly she leaned into the candy and cautiously bit into the billowing mass, feeling the stickiness cling to her face. Definitely she decided, the stuff was very, very good. Pure, processed, sugary, happiness, she admitted.  
  
The stick disappeared as she leaned forward for another taste and she found herself nose-to-nose instead with a very put out clown.  
  
"There was no candy in my hair," Trowa growled as Midii put on her most angelic face.  
  
"Sorry, I couldn't resist," she whispered, snuggling closer and reaching around him to grab another piece, placing it gently between Trowa's parted lips. The back of her knees tingled as her finger touched the glittering sugar crystals that stuck to his lips and he pushed her back on the bed. He leaned in close and she kissed him, tasting the sugar on his lips and cheeks and the tip of his nose. So sweet . . .   
  
Miss Dunn? Miss Dunn, is everything alright," Mr. Bertrand said, unable to help but admire the dreamy look on the little secretary's face.  
  
She startled and flushed apologetically, hastily closing the file before her.  
  
"I'm sorry. What is it," she asked.  
  
"It's 5 o'clock," he said. "You can leave now."  
  
Midii nodded and grabbed her things, she'd let time get away from her but with the passwords she had acquired she could hack into the system from the comfort of her hotel room. By morning she'd be at the bottom of it all and then Preventer would have a leg to stand on in these negotiations.  
  
But it was so hard to keep her mind on the mission; it was well in hand, a piece of cake so to speak. She'd be home tomorrow night if everything went to plan. She picked up the little tube of lip gloss and stuffed it in her pocket as she walked out.  
  
"Oh Trowa,"she wondered. "Where are you and what are you thinking about right now?"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Trowa's eyes kept returning to the single dusty bottle of Chardonnay pushed to the back of the top wine shelf.  
  
Maison Petitvert, AC 189 [3]  
  
"Taste this one," she whispered in his ear, blowing gently. He could feel the smile on her face as they sat in the dark lit by a single candle.  
  
"I get it," he said. "You're trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me."  
  
She sighed. "No, no. That's not it. Although I will take advantage of you later if you wish. I really need you to tell me which one of these you like better."  
  
It was like the first night, the night that Cathy had sent him on a transparent errand to meet her 'friend.' Did she realize how similar it was? The wine, the candlelight, the two of them so close in the dark. He drove the thoughts away. Tonight was a much happier occasion, one month since he'd found her again in Provence. One month since their arrangement had been put into place.  
  
"I still say you're up to something," he insisted, but his voice was light as he reached out to grasp a strand of her wavy hair.  
  
"I am always up to something," she admitted, affecting a sultry Russian accent that sent tingles up his spine. "But you should cooperate, I promise it's for your own good."  
  
He obediently sipped the glass of wine she held out as she watched him closely, waiting for his reaction.   
  
The wine was smooth and he held the glass so the candlelight shone through the shimmering gold liquid. This one was really good, the perfect blend of dry and fruity, he could taste pears and apples and the Chardonnay grapes and a vague flavor of oak from the barrel it had aged in. He found himself wondering momentarily where she'd gotten the funding for this little wine tasting adventure of hers but at that point in their relationship he was learning it was best not to ask about some things.  
  
His eyes met her hopeful ones. "This one," he said finally, as a happy smile dawned on her expectant face. "It's perfect. Just like you."  
  
"Trowa," she said, sadness edging her voice. "I'm not perfect."  
  
"Perfect for me," he said, taking another sip and holding the glass out to her, watching as she turned the glass and put her lips on the spot his had been, letting them linger on the glass suggestively as her eyes met his. The gesture making the pulse beat in his throat quicken.  
  
"So you're sure," she said, dropping the painful subject of perfection. "This is the one you like the best?"  
  
He nodded and she leaned forward to pick up the bottle.  
  
"I'm so glad," she whispered, her eyes shining in the candlelight. "This is our wine now, our special wine. Whenever something important or wonderful happens this is what we'll drink. I'll have to start collecting it, it's not easy to find."  
  
"And you think we'll need a lot," he asked, his voice growing husky as he set down the glass and nuzzled her neck.  
  
"Mmmmm," she murmured contentedly as his hand slipped to the hem of the skirt that rode up her thighs. She gasped as his cool fingers touched her warm skin and, her lips parted beneath his, he could taste her and the wine. . . sweet and tangy . . .she squeaked as the bottle tipped and he felt the cold liquid trickle of wine dripping down his back.  
  
"Sorry," she smiled. "Your fingers were cold . . .   
  
She moved behind him and her slender fingers eased off his shirt, he could feel her lips against his skin, her arms encircling him from behind as she kissed away the sticky feeling of the drying wine, her hands moving in slow, sensuous circles over his chest and lower . . .   
  
Voices disrupted his thoughts.  
  
"Just grab something," a woman said to her husband. "We're supposed to be there at 5 o'clock and it's already that now."  
  
He'd be late too Trowa thought, but instead of the red wine Molly had requested to accompany dinner he reached out for the Chardonnay, his fingers tracing the dusty label. Would he ever drink this with her again, he wondered as he quickly and without thought snatched a bottle of red wine from the shelf.  
  
The cashier raised an eyebrow and whistled at the Chardonnay.  
  
"Hey this is good stuff and we don't get much in," she said, admiring Trowa from beneath her lashes and engaging in a dream that he would invite her to share a glass.   
  
Trowa didn't notice. But the bottle was hope for him too, hope that he would see her again and that they would have something to celebrate. Being together.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To be continued . . .   
  
Sowwy it's getting too long so I'm gonna cut here, gosh darn Cotton Candy dreams and Chardonnay wishes took too many pages!! Ichiban: But you cut MY flashback (sob)   
  
Tune in next time on The Price of Redemption where Ichiban may get his flashback and even share it with Trowa. (///_-: No thanks) . . . Diarmid complicates Midii's mission . . . and our hero and anti-hero (but not Heero ^_^) take a dive.   
  
Thanks to all who contributed haiku to this story!! They were all lovely. I'll use more next time.  
[1] Raven/DarkWindDragon's written by her  
[2]Haiku submitted by Celena from "Sei Shonagon's Pillow Book"  
[3] Maison Petitvert (a nod to one of my fave 3xMU authors: Little Green ^_~)  
  
  



	16. Chapter 16

January, AC 195

Author's Note:Forgive me for the delay but I wanted to get everything I planned in this chapter and that took some doing -_-;Good news is it's a double-size chapter and the next chapter is already 90 percent complete since I've written ahead.Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!! The Price of Redemption Chapter 16 By Midii Une ~*~*Winter, AC 194~*~* 

She moved silently, all of them did, an early lesson in stealth.You learned it quickly or you were caught.Stefan came clattering in after her, the sound of his wet boots squished in the hall.Niente was good, but only when he had to be, otherwise he exhibited the normal restless energy of any young teenage boy.

Richard looked up from the book he was reading to watch her kneel by the fireplace, she held out her small hands to the flames but she didn't relax as the heat flushed her cheeks.He was sure he saw her shivering in the jacket she wore.He didn't recognize the affiliation but that was common.Midii always went out looking like a shivering waif and it never failed, someone always gave her the coat off their back.They just couldn't help it and she was just that good. 

Stefan came in announced by an exaggerated yawn and executed a graceful vault over the back of the couch.He looked at his partner and rolled his eyes, she had nothing to be upset about, they'd led the troops to the core of the rebel forces in record time.They'd be moved up for sure, out of this rat-trap of an old military dormitory forgotten by the world. They'd be infiltrating offices next and before you knew it right at the top, no more shivering in the cold and eating the leftover rations donated by sympathetic rebels.Even he shrank a little at taking charity from the very people they'd been sent to betray.

The device around Midii's neck beeped softly and she lifted her hand and yanked the chain off, tossing the little game necklace into the fire.

"Yes," Stefan cheered."Finally you're celebrating.We were awesome.They'll see Midii, there's nothing the two of us can't do together.They'll see we're beyond this crap.We're better than this, we can do so much more."

She turned desolate eyes on the older boy and ran out of the room.Richard's lips thinned and he glared at Stefan.

"You don't understand her at all," he said softly, his voice accusing.

Stefan shrugged."I know all I need to know.She may be melodramatic and swimming in guilt but when the chips are down she never flinches.That's all the matters to me about Midii Une."

Richard found her in a window seat, shivering in earnest.Insulation and heating weren't top priority in the abandoned barracks where the Alliance kept their secrets under wraps.No trick was too dirty in the battle for universal dominance.

"Midii, come back where the fire is at least," Richard said.

She shook her head.

"I'm so tired," she muttered, leaning her head wearily against the wall and closing her eyes briefly."Thanks anyway, but I think I'll go to bed."

"How long were you out this time," he asked, noticing she was thinner than the last time he'd seen her.But still pretty in that pitiful heart-wrenching way that had the power to disarm whole troops of soldiers.She made them think of their daughters at home, maybe even the girlfriends they'd left behind. She was growing up and her charms hadn't gone unnoticed by him even if Stefan persisted in calling her a skinny little crybaby. 

"Six weeks," she said, her voice catching slightly.Six weeks to get to know the people she had to betray.Six weeks to learn their names, hear their stories.One man, the one who'd given her the coat had even offered to take her home as soon as he got the chance.

"As soon as I can, I'll help you get home, Little One," he'd said one night, stroking her hair softly as they sat by the campfire.

She'd watched him die with empty eyes that couldn't even cry anymore.

"Six weeks," Richard repeated thoughtfully."Somebody's probably stolen your blanket by now.Come on you can have my bed tonight."

Her eyes widened and she shied away like a startled rabbit.

"I didn't mean that. How about you just take my blanket? I'm going to stay up and read anyway," he amended.

She nodded and followed him to the stark little room.

A nasty younger boy with sly, squinting eyes peered out his own door at them.

"Watch it Ichiban.I'll turn you in for bringing a girl to your room," he warned.

"Fuck you," Richard stated, sliding an arm over Midii's thin shoulders protectively.

The boy scowled, those two thought they were better than everyone else when they were nothing but betraying scum just like all the rest of them here.

Midii paled and pulled away.

"I better go.I can't get in trouble.My family . . . ," she whispered, shaking her head a bit fearfully.

He tightened his hold on her hand and pulled her into his room and yanked the blanket off the bed.

"Just take it," he said."That little rat won't tell.He's all talk."

"Why are you being so nice to me," Midii said, raising her eyes to look at him."You should stay away from me. Everyone should.I'll betray you eventually.That's what I'm good at and it isn't all talk."

"They make you do those things.It isn't your fault.You need to look at it like it's just a job.Midii, we don't know whether the Alliance is wrong or right.Those rebels you turn in are killing people too.They're fighting and killing people every day.What you do saves people's lives as well.Don't forget that."

She looked away again and touched the bruised spot on her neck where she'd torn away the chain.

"Is that what you really think," she asked, there was hope in her voice that quickly became suspicious. He was starting to sound too much like them.They twisted their words to make it seem what they did was right.But she had seen too much and the memory of Nanashi wouldn't let her take comfort from their lies.

"I like you Midii," Richard said, replacing the arm around her shoulder and bending his face toward hers so their noses almost brushed."I really like you.I wish we could work together."

Midii shook her head."I've always been with Stefan, since the first time . . ."

The first time, she thought.The worst time.The time she had betrayed Nanashi.She didn't like to think of him and yet some nights she tortured herself with the memory of that first mission and the boy she'd given her heart to.He'd gone away and never given it back.How often she wished he'd just shot her.He could have saved her from this awfulness, from the horror of repeating her sin over and over again until she was almost immune to the pain of others.She knew she'd never see him again.

"Can I kiss you," the boy beside her whispered, already his lips were brushing her cheek.

"You're not afraid of me," she asked.

He shook his head and took her hand."You're not so bad Midii," he said, holding her eyes with his, making her listen."Whoever told you that was wrong.We all do what we have to to stay alive.To keep the ones we love alive."

"Is that why you're here too," she whispered.

He shook his head."We lived by a military base, back home on the colony," he said."It was dangerous but all we could afford.They fought, my parents fought all the time and I would run away. One morning when I came back the apartment building was just gone."

His voice grew hollow and quiet and he felt the warmth of her shining, sympathetic eyes gazing at him and he loved her for it in that minute, the admiration and interest transforming their relationship.She still cared about people, beneath it all, she felt something for what he'd lost.Sweet, beautiful Midii.

"I remember the ash falling around me like snow.Dead people, dead pets were lying everywhere.A mobile suit had fallen in some terrorist attack.God Midii, it was like some hellish domino effect, crushing and burning . . ."

"Oh Richard," she said, grateful deep inside, despite what it meant for her, that her father and brothers were alive somewhere."Then why, if you have no one, why are you here?"

"I want to stop the fighting, and this is my only chance. I want it all Midii, not just to follow their orders but to someday give the orders.I wouldn't let things like that happen," he said.

"All I have is my family," Midii said, tears appearing on her thin cheeks."I'm not like you, I only do this for them.I only want to go home and have things the way they were again."

Sympathy and shared sorrow turned to soft kisses and touches.He looked into her eyes, surprised to see the naked sorrow and disbelief clear for him to see.

"You really don't think I'm a horrible person, for what I've done," she asked again, her voice pleading.He promised and kissed her until she smiled a little.

"Thank you Richard," she said, her face beaming as if he'd given her a wonderful gift.

~*~*~*Winter, AC 199*~*~*~*

He had been a child to think there could be a world without death and terror.What forgotten passion had possessed him to believe he could ever make a difference?

Circumstance had made Richard Ichiban everything he had always hated and nothing was as it seemed.Not the world and not Midii.How could he have known that finding her again would lead to this when he had wanted those things so much?Was it so much to ask? To have her?Was this punishment for the acts of terrorism he had condoned?He'd only done it to realize his dream of peace.His mind wouldn't let him equate the images of the shuttle explosion he'd orchestrated with the destruction of the apartment building on L1 so long ago . . .

Watching _her_ was like having a knife twist in his heart.She _was_ Midii, untainted and beautiful.All the false sweetness and innocence that Midii wielded as a weapon over everyone she met was personified in this little nobody from this overlooked corner of the universe.

The little waitress was so much like Midii, even down to the man she chose to give herself to.Ultimately it was all _his_ fault, he had turned Midii against her old friends and especially against him until instead of his beloved she became his most hated enemy.

The taste of tobacco, bitter and sharp, filled his mouth as he took a deep drag off the cigarette he held and considered his options.

If he didn't get out of here soon he'd be trapped on this colony with Barton and he could only evade him for so long.The other day he'd nearly rounded a corner and smacked into him.But _she_ had saved him.He'd seen her through the window of that tacky little diner, her likeness to Midii transfixing him immediately.Of course Barton had found her too, both of them drawn like moths to their favorite flame.

He could leave now and finish things between himself and Midii, with luck he'd beat the strike and be off colony before the distracted Preventer could make a move to follow.

Maybe if she knew, if Midii knew . . . his breath caught as he pictured her pleading for forgiveness, begging him to give her another chance . . . .

Damn her, why couldn't it have been true? That night at the reception when the world was so close to being his?The same night Eva had shown him Midii's true self.

The roar of the water from the hydropower plant nearby almost kept him from noticing the roar of an approaching motorcycle.

Almost.

He slid into the shadows, blending expertly into his surroundings.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Molly peered anxiously between the thin and faded flowered curtains at the window, a happy smile brightening her face.

"Trowa!"

She flushed unconsciously as he came up the stairs and smoothed a hand over her hair.

"Troooowaaaaaaa!!" her 14-year-old brother squeaked in a high-pitched giddy voice that mimicked he own.He soon had the younger two rolling on the floor laughing.

"Shhhhhhhh," Molly begged, her eyes wide and pleading with them to behave themselves as she opened the door.

I hope he can't hear my heart beating, she thought, as she looked shyly up into those wonderful green eyes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Diarmid blinked.Was this his boss?She'd seemed so nice this morning, praising his reputation and oozing confidence in his ability to solve this matter.The woman on the screen seemed an entirely different person.Were the rumors about her true?Was it dangerous to get on the wrong side of the Chief of Preventers?

"Agent Walker," Lady Une said, her eyes narrowing in an almost frightening manner."Perhaps I did not make myself clear this morning but this issue must be solved tonight.I entrusted this mission to you, are you saying you are not able to rise to the occasion?"

Diarmid gulped, his blue eyes glittering with embarrassment.Did she have to put it quite that way?He shook his head, his capacity for speech momentarily deserting him.

"Let me be blunt," she said, withering his self-esteem as dignity and an air of command rang in her voice."The Preventer Agency has high expectations.Only the finest candidates are brought to our headquarters' facility.We have given you this chance to prove yourself and your ability to be successful on an important mission.This is no game or training mission.Such an opportunity won't come again. I suggest in the strongest of terms you make the most of it Walker."

"God in heaven, please say I don't look like a beached fish gasping for air," Walker prayed, glancing at himself in the mirror as she briskly cut the transmission.There was no room for protest, no time for explanations.

"Does she think I'm a bloody miracle worker," Diarmid muttered, annoyed that his face was pale and blotched with the red spots that plagued redheads when they were nervous.

He knew Lady Une was right and he wanted to succeed for so many reasons.He realized very well that a shuttle pilots' strike would be highly detrimental to the peace initiative that Preventer was sworn to uphold.And besides, he admitted deep in a secret space in his heart, if he failed how could he ever face Midii again?He wanted to impress her and he definitely wanted to remain working in the same office building.Failure might mean a one-way ticket back to Earth and far away from her.

But that wasn't all.He had to live up to his brother's legacy.He'd been a mobile suit pilot and engineer, a member of the OZ specials, they'd all been so proud of him.The light in his parents' eyes had gone out permanently when Sean had been killed at the Corsica base during the war.As an added outrage it turned out his death was a highlight in the evening news.The image of his brother's exploding Aries mobile suit played in his mind and reoccurred in his nightmares with awful clarity.

He couldn't let down Sean's memory.He'd been the pride of their parents, the decorated and commended underling of Lt. Zechs Merquise.How could he, Diarmid, fail where Sean had done so well?He would be as loyal to Preventer as his big brother had been to OZ.He would succeed in this.

"Shit," he said, splashing cold water on his face to get rid of the scarlet blotches."How the hell am I gonna pull this off?"

Diarmid turned on his heel suddenly and pulled on his Preventer jacket.It was time for another meeting with Mr. Bertrand and this time he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Andy Adams clung to his sister's neck and peered at the tall stranger standing awkwardly in their tiny living room.He was nearly 7 years old but still very shy. 

"Don't be such a baby Andy," his older brother hissed, embarrassed by the display of childish behavior.Tom, age 10, thought Molly's date was totally cool.He had the most awesome leather Preventer jacket. He hadn't even known Preventer agents came to their colony!

Andy's lip trembled and he buried his face in his sister's hair.Molly's hair always smelled comfortingly of baby shampoo that came from the big, economy-sized bottle they kept in the tiny shower they all had to make do with.Molly insisted on the tear-free brand for her youngest brother although the older boys complained it made them smell like babies.

An unwilling smile twitched Trowa's lips as Molly looked at him apologetically, her brother clinging to her like one of the little monkeys they sometimes kept at the circus.The thought gave him an idea.

He crouched down in front of the little boy, studying the childish lines of the little face that portrayed an innocence he had never seen before.A feeling of regret that had been buried deep inside of him for so long that he had nearly forgotten he'd ever felt it.His eyes blurred momentarily as memories overwhelmed him. Trowa looked at the soft childish hand tangled in Molly's hair.When he'd been that age his hands were already rough and calloused, a child's smaller fingers in demand for specialized mobile suit repair.

"Hi Andy," he said, purposely keeping his voice gentle."I'm Trowa."

The little boy hid his face in his sister's shoulder again, his hair was the same color as Molly's--and Midii's.Trowa pushed down the pain the thought brought."Why am I here," he wondered suddenly."She's not Midii."

"Andy," Molly whispered, starting to feel nervous that Trowa would think her brother was strange."What's the matter?"

"He's scary," the little boy murmured.The older boys, Tom and Jack, couldn't help laughing at that remark.

"He's very nice.He's my friend," Molly said, raising a finger to her lips and glaring at her two other brothers.

"I've seen men in those coats on TV!They've got guns," Andy said, a frightened tear trickling down his little round cheek.

Trowa unobtrusively slipped off his jacket.

"I only wear that jacket sometimes," Trowa said, wishing he'd brought another jacket."Guess what my other job is."

The boy peered at him with round, curious eyes and shook his head.

"I dunno," he whispered.

"A clown," Trowa announced, rolling forward and up into a handstand.He bounced on his hands a few times before lifting himself up and balancing on one finger for a split second before making the little boy laugh by doing a comic fall.

Molly grinned as Andy hopped off her lap and forgot his shyness as he begged for more tricks.

"Thank you," she whispered, tiptoeing to kiss Trowa's cheek and escaped into the kitchen to finish dinner.

"He's so perfect," she thought, as she lit the candles on the table, the ones she saved for special occasions.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Midii nibbled on a croissant, impatiently brushing the crumbs from her orange sweater as she tested password combinations on her laptop to break into Bertrand's files.Her eyes widened as she saw indications of activity from the home file location.

"He's still in the office," she whispered."I wonder why he wanted to get rid of me so quickly?"

She put in an earpiece and flipped a switch to tune into the bugging device she'd planted in the office before she'd left.Midii frowned but her heart pounded with a burst of adrenaline as she listened to Bertrand reveal his position to the "security guard" in his office.He sounded so confident.Too bad he didn't know who he was up against, she thought, her lips twitching in a confident smile of her own as she propped her foot up on the desk chair and buckled a slender leather thigh holster around the top of her leg.

With speedy fingers she forwarded the information she had to Heero's office."Just in case," she whispered, although fear of failure was the furthest thing from her mind.She found the thin-barrelled, inconspicuous gun tucked in a corner of her suitcase and slid it into the holster before shrugging on her jacket and locking the door behind her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"You're definitely Andy's hero now," Molly said, kicking off her shoes and settling on the sagging old sofa of indiscriminate color at the opposite end from her guest."He was so excited I can't believe he finally drifted off."

"I didn't realize I'd have to perform for my supper," Trowa joked, unable to help admiring her when she smiled.Happiness made her eyes shine and a little dimple appeared irresistibly to dent the creamy smoothness of her cheek.She made him wonder what it would be like to just stay here on this small, unimportant colony.Would anyone care if he just disappeared?He'd wrap things up with Ichiban first of course because no matter how Midii felt about him now he'd never expose her to danger.Besides she wasn't the only one threatened.The unwanted vision of what he'd seen in that hotel room the other night tightened his stomach and cold sweat popped out on his face.Trowa shut his eyes tightly and opened them again to find the girl had slid across the cushions to stare at him with a mixture of tenderness and concern.

"Are you okay," she whispered.Her face so close to his that her breath warmed his cheek.Her eyes were so pretty, thick black lashes fluttered shyly to frame the bright innocent cornflower blue.And it was over with Midii.He still loved her but her eyes held only pain and cold aloofness when he looked at her now.It hurt her to see him and somehow that was the hardest thing of all to bear.She'd made him need her, her touch, the physical closeness and he realized that she was the only girl he'd ever touched, ever kissed.Oddly he remembered Duo saying once that girls were like flavors of ice cream, they all tasted good.He remembered Hilde's wounded look too before Duo whispered to her that she was his favorite flavor.

Curiosity and the pain of his wounded heart motivated him.Molly caught her breath in disbelief.Those fascinating green eyes were on hers and she could see something in them that made her heart pound.A soft, almost soundless whimper escaped her throat as she felt his fingers close gently over a strand of her hair and his face relaxed with deep contentment as real as the look on Andy's face when she handed him his teddy bear at night.She forgot in that second, forgot he loved someone else, forgot he wasn't staying here and that he'd said he was going to leave.She knew he was going to kiss her.

Molly held her breath as he bent his head to hers and she felt the feather-light touch of his lips.She felt afraid to move, as if he would stop if she did.Slowly she relaxed, leaning into the kiss as his lips moved gently, wonderingly over the full, rosy lips beneath his that began to part tentatively in response.

Her hair was smooth and so soft in his hand.It had a warm, sweet, indefinable scent that was just like her. . . . Molly.But it was the familiar texture of it that made his pulse race with memories.How he could sit for her for hours in the dark, her slight body curled into his, the happy little sounds she made when he played with her hair . . . Midii.

This was different, nice, but he felt himself ignoring the invitation of the soft lips opening beneath his.Reluctantly he dropped his hand from her hair with a last lingering caress.He felt her expel her breath in disappointment as his lips brushed her cheek and he straightened.

"It's over," she thought sadly, seeing something in his face that told her his mind was elsewhere, that maybe he was regretting what he'd done.

She wouldn't have traded that moment for the world, when he was kissing her, when she felt the warmth of his hand tangled in her hair.But there had been something else too, an uncomfortable feeling that she was stealing from someone else.

"Trowa," she said, gathering her courage in the silence that was growing thick and uncomfortable between them."Why don't you go back to her?I don't know all that happened but I'm sure that if you talked it out . . ."

"I'm sorry Molly," Trowa said.

She grinned and somehow the act of smiling made her feel better."It was just a kiss," she said."A wonderful kiss.A wonderful night too.But you're changing the subject.Go home Trowa.I can see that you want to.It's written all over your face."

"I can't—

She leaned forward and shushed him with her fingers.

"Don't say can't.I tell my brothers that and I'm telling you.You're not being fair to her Trowa.Did you ever ask her how she felt?Or did you just assume," she asked."Maybe she's hurt because you went away.Did you ever think of that Trowa?"

Her words were like an epiphany.Go back and try to explain how he felt.Why was it the obvious answer seemed like such a novel idea?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Velvety darkness blanketed the lovers that lay entwined in an embrace of mutual bliss on the comfortable sofa in Cathrine and Midii's apartment.It was a moment of perfect peace as they savored the moment of wonder and contentment.

Of course as many detractors of the current political climate often stated, peace wasn't meant to last.

The doorbell rang sending a perky, irritating dinging sound through the room that immediately sent Wufei and Cathrine scurrying for clothing that had somehow gotten scattered hopelessly around the room.

"Midii?Cathy?" a familiar voice called uncertainly."I can't believe it! We're an hour late getting in because of all the confusion at the spaceport and they go out? Exactly the manners I'd expect from those two.I told you this was all a big mistake," an aristocratic voice hissed, none too quietly.

"Winner?What the hell?Great timing.Just GREAT!!" Wufei yelled, making Cathrine snicker and lean over to peck him gently on the nose.

"I love you," she whispered, as a faint blush crept into his tanned cheeks."With everything that happened I forgot that Midii told me they were coming for dinner tonight."

Her face fell.

"She's still not back.I know that something must be wrong," she whispered, sinking back on the couch with her blouse only halfway buttoned.

Dorothy's voice filtered in from under the door."I swear I heard something!They must be in there.Ring the doorbell again Quatre."

Wufei winced as the cheerful little bell sounded again.

"Just a second!We'll be right there," he shouted, kneeling in front of Cathrine to finish buttoning her blouse.

"Wufei? Chang Wufei?"Dorothy and Quatre said simultaneously, looking at each other with startled eyes.It couldn't be!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Midii pressed herself silently against the door, not even breathing as she slid the thin plastic keycard into the slot to let herself into the office as silently as possible.She bit back a startled scream as the door seemed to open of it's own accord and a rough hand closed around her upper arm to drag her inside.

She blinked, the room was so bright compared to the darkness of the hallway.

"Let go," she whispered, attempting to pull free of the iron grip that held her.Angrily she jammed her elbow into the man's ribs, disheartened when his only response was a brief chuckle.

"Feisty little thing, aren't you?Tell me who you are missy and what you're doing here," he said, his whisper matching hers and telling her that someone was in the inner office with Bertrand.

"I'm Mimi, Mr. Bertrand's new secretary.I left my nail polish in my desk drawer and I'm going out tonight so if you'd get your hands off the merchandise I'll just grab it and leave," Midii said.

His grip tightened painfully."Secretary? That lucky bastard doesn't miss a trick does he?"

"Well if you're not going to let go maybe you'd like to go barhopping with me tonight," Midii asked, winking at her captor.

"Sorry baby, you're not going anywhere till I clear you with the boss.We've got Preventer breathing down our necks and we can't take any chances. Capisce?"

Midii giggled."Me?A Preventer?"

The dark-haired giant laughed too.It was rather funny to think that this pretty little piece of fluff could be a Preventer agent.He let go of her arm.

"I suppose you're no threat sweetheart.Get your stuff and hightail it out of here. And do old Johnny a favor and don't mention this to Bertrand," he said.

Midii pouted and rubbed her arm."I think you left a mark," she said, going to her desk and using the cover of the computer to retrieve the hidden gun from its holster on her thigh.

"And for that," she said, pointing the weapon at the shocked bodyguard, "you'll have a bit of explaining to do once I turn in my report to headquarters."

"Why you little bitch," he hissed, moving towards her but stopping when she clicked the safety of the gun.

"Now, now," Midii scolded."Let's not have any name calling.Shall we pay a visit to the boss? He has a few things to explain."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The night had been a revelation for Trowa.He'd always believed that if only Midii would change things would be perfect between them.But now face to face with a girl that was everything he thought he wanted he truly realized that Midii had been what he needed all along.He wanted her, just her.The goodness and selflessness that she kept inside of her was like a treasure that only he knew about.

From the minute he'd first seen her again he'd felt that love from her, the love she'd been the very first to show him.He remembered the tone of her voice when she called him Nanashi.She'd always made it sound like a name.And when she gave him the cross, there had been something in her face that reached into his heart and claimed it for her own.That was why, why it had hurt so badly when she betrayed him, but even though he left her behind she never stopped loving him.He believed that.Suddenly he wanted to be back with her so badly that his body ached with physical longing.

With sudden clarity he remembered all the times he'd turned his back on her and left her behind.He had to go home.He loved her.Loved all the sorrows and mysteries that made her Midii, made her his.

"Trowa," Molly ventured."I have to get ready to go to work.You look like you're thinking about what I said."

He nodded and rose reluctantly to his feet."I think I've overstayed my welcome," he said.

Molly shook her head."Of course not! You're welcome to stay.I know Tom is still awake and if you give him the chance he'll talk your ear off about your job with Prevnters."

"Thanks anyway.I need to do some thinking," he said.

She took his hand."I know she'll forgive you Trowa," Molly whispered."You just need to go back.But don't leave without saying goodbye."

"Of course not," he said, leaning to kiss her cheek."I promise."

A light flashed on Trowa's answering machine and he debated whether to pick it up.Probably just Heero, wanting his report, no one else knew where he was and he'd just left Molly's.It was humiliating and frustrating to have nothing new and now his determination was stronger than ever before.He had to get back to Midii.

He sighed and pressed the message button.It was Molly.

"Trowa," she said, her voice apologetic and hurried."I totally forgot to thank you for the beautiful roses. Did you write that poem yourself? You must think I'm horrible.Don't call back I'm leaving for work.I'll be there if you can't sleep and want to talk.I had a wonderful time tonight.I'll never forget it.Good night."

Trowa frowned.He hadn't brought flowers . . . 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Thomas Bertrand's eyes widened with surprise.

"Johnny! What's the meaning of this?I told you to stay outside while I discuss business with Mr. Walker.This isn't the time to bring some little bimbo. . . My God is that Miss Dunn?"

"I think you've got something to tell me about those unsigned contracts, don't you Mr. Betrand," Midii said, trying to catch Diarmid's eye.Damn, he was looking at her as if he didn't recognize her.The room was dark, the only light came from a small lamp on Bertrand's desk.

Bertrand thought fast.Who was Miss Dunn really working for?She couldn't be from Preventer or Walker would recognize her.

"So Agent Walker," he said cordially to the man in front of him."You want to help with the negotiations?Deal with my secretary.It seems she's the one whose been blackmailing me to stall the contract signing."

"What," Midii gasped, too surprised to react as Diarmid turned and knocked the gun out of her stunned hand with a quick blow.

Walker looked at Bertrand's secretary victoriously as he slapped one end of handcuff over her slender wrist.He had the culprit.He was going to be a great success.He'd be up for a promotion.Midii would be sure to be impressed.Midii?The angry-eyed girl evading his attempt to catch her other wrist looked just like her.

"Midii?My God darlin' what are you doing . . . 

Midii cursed and fell to her knees as the shocked man dropped her wrist, scrambling for her gun and sitting back on her heels as the big dark-haired man waved it in her face.

"Looking for this sweetheart," he teased.

"Call your buffoon off Bertrand," Diarmid said, stepping in front of Midii, his heart racing as he hoped his voice sounded more confident than he felt."This is my, umm, my partner."

Bertrand raised a skeptical brow."Suppose you let Miss Dunn explain herself, Agent Walker."

"You should know I've already contacted headquarters with the bulk of my evidence against you Mr. Bertrand," Midii said coldly, warily eying the madly grinning Johnny.He seemed awfully happy to have the tables turned on her she thought.

"I do believe you're bluffing Mimi my dear," he said."I'm sorry Agent Walker but I'm afraid our negotiations are at an end.Johnny, you know what to do with our guests?"

The big man nodded, reaching out to tug on Cathrine's star earring playfully."We're gonna have fun tonight after all," he said, letting his blunt fingers brush her cheek.

Midii shuddered.This was not going as expected, not at all.

"You big brute!Don't even think about touching her," Walker shouted, trying to figure a way to recover from his having blown her cover.

Johnny chuckled and looked down at the fuming shorter man."How cute.The little guy's trying to protect the dame.Just like in the movies," he chortled."Did you two ever see the one where the couple gets handcuffed together and the bad guy chases them with the gun?Wanna try?"

This could work, Midii thought, catching a welcome gleam in Walker's hip pocket.It would certainly be worth a try.

"Oh God! Oh God Diarmid! He's going to kill us," she cried hysterically, as Johnny snapped the other cuff on Walker's wrist.She threw herself into his arms and cried loudly.

"Shhhh, don't blow it," she whispered in his ear quietly between sobs."You have to protect me," she cried in a louder voice as her hand closed around the cool metal handle of the pistol in his pocket.

"That's enough.It's time to play," Johnny said, placing a meaty hand on her shoulder to pull her out of Walker's embrace only to find himself nose to nose with a gun again.

"Hand your weapon to Agent Walker mate," she said."The game's over."

When both guns were in their possession it wasn't long before Bertrand was ready to confess.

"Call a meeting of your board of executives Mr. Bertrand," Midii said."I think we've made it clear that the Preventer Agency is committed to the success of these negotiations.I hope you won't be giving my fellow agent any more trouble?"

"No ma'am," Bertrand said sulkily.

Diarmid followed Midii out into the hall as backup arrived to help "oversee" the negotiations and take their 'friend' Johnny into custody.

"What the hell happened in there," he asked."Who are you Midii?"

"You'll learn that you have to get creative in this business," she said."And never reveal who your allies are until the right moment.I've been doing this nearly all my life.It does take a bit of practice and the right instincts.You'll learn."

"I almost got you killed," he said, his voice filled with remorse. "If anything had happened to you . . ."

"Shhh," Midii said, laying her fingers gently over his lips."I've had closer calls. Don't worry about me.Congratulations Agent Walker, I think Lady Une will be pleased.Just be sure to keep our secret!"

He watched her walk away down the hall.

"Midii, why?" he called.

She stopped a second to look at him over her shoulder.

"We're friends aren't we," she asked.

"Yeah," he agreed."Friends."

He looked after her as she disappeared, something melting inside as he remembered the brief instant she'd pressed herself up against him and the tickle of her hair against his cheek.He blushed and his face grew hot remembering the feel of her hand in his pocket.

"Just friends," he said, turning back to the office."I'll tryMidii.I swear I will."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Molly tightened her coat around herself and yawned as she walked beneath the wall of the power plant and through the chilly mist that was ever present around it.She was tired but once she got to work and had a few cups of coffee she'd be fine.She hoped Trowa would be happy even if there really was no hope for them.She could always treasure that kiss, that brief look of admiration in his eyes.

She had to roll her eyes at her thoughts.She was being so melodramatic.It was only a kiss.

"Right," she said aloud."Only a kiss from the handsomest guy you've ever seen."

Lost in her thoughts she bumped into something solid and felt a pair of arms reach out to steady her.

"You should be more careful," a masculine voice, cultured and elegant, said.

"Oh! Excuse me," Molly said, looking up into a pair of golden eyes that smiled down on her from beneath brown hair that was attractively tousled by the wind and the misty air.

"My pleasure I'm sure," he said, gazing at her intently."A lovely young lady like you is no bother at all."

His gaze was disconcerting, almost a stare and Molly pulled away as he reached out to trace the curve of her cheek.

"Well, still, I'm sorry I bumped into you," she repeated, backing away."Please excuse me."

"You look like her you know," he said as she turned away."Did Trowa tell you that?"

She turned to look at the stranger. He knew Trowa?

"Like who," she asked curiously.

"Midii," he said, his voice caressing the word with an eerie, dreamy quality that made Molly shiver inside her coat."That's why I sent you those flowers."

Her heart thumped painfully in her chest as he walked toward her, primitive fear seeming to freeze her in place.Something was wrong.

"Molly," a familiar voice called and she let her breath out in a painful gasp as Trowa came up beside her and placed an arm around her shoulders.

"Are you alright," he asked, his eyes studying her.

"Of course," she said, her earlier fears seeming silly now that he was here.

"Our valiant hero makes it on time for once in his life," Ichiban snickered.

"Go home, Molly and lock the door.Call the police," Trowa said.

She hesitated a second, staring at him.He was different from the Trowa she knew.And suddenly she felt like Andy had earlier.Frightened.Something horrible was going to happen.

"Get out of here Molly," he said again, but his eyes were on the man.She nodded and ran.

"Pretty girl," Ichiban said, letting his eyes follow the slender form of the retreating girl before turning back to Trowa conversationally. What would Midii think?Do you think she'd approve of your innocent little angel?"

"Let's take this discussion elsewhere," Richard suggested, Trowa's cold and silent stare making him uncomfortable."I don't want anyone interfering."

He turned on his heel and jumped up until his hand grasped the iron utility ladder fastened to the outside of the hydro basin.

Trowa followed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Midii yawned and reached up to tug the elastics from her hair as she walked tiredly from the elevator to the apartment door.

Please let Cathy be out, she prayed as she ran a hand through her hair.If nothing else at least since this little escapade her hair was almost its natural color again. Perhaps she _had_ overdone it though, she felt so tired.But it was a good, healthy tired with no sign of a headache.She just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for 12 hours.Midii was sure Cathy would never wake her up just to scold her, she'd believe sleep was more important.

She yawned again and fumbled for her key, hoping her assessment of Cathrine would be right.Midii needed time to come up with a reasonable explanation for her absence. It should have been easy but the thought of lying to her friend caused an unfamiliar anxious knot in her stomach.

_I'm changing . . . _

For the second time that night the door whipped open, seemingly of its own accord, when she had barely inserted the key in the hole and Midii found herself staring into two angry faces, the anger barely abated by the relief the two felt at seeing the prodigal return.

"C-Cathy! And Quatre? What a surprise," Midii stuttered, half tempted to turn on her heel and make a dash for the elevator.

They seemed to read her mind as panic flitted across her features and the unlikely duo reached out simultaneously to drag her into the apartment.

Midii winced as the door slammed shut and she scanned the room, seeing Dorothy perched on a stool at the breakfast bar calmly filing her nails and not even favoring her with a glance.On the other side of the room Wufei stared disinterestedly out the window.

She gulped before raising guilty blue-gray eyes to Cathrine's searching violet ones.She couldn't expect any support from Wufei or Dorothy that was certain.Her best chance was to claim a headache with Cathy or maybe try tears on Quatre? She looked from one to another indecisively as they barraged her with questions about where she'd been and what she'd been doing and why she'd worried them so quickly she couldn't even make out half of what they were saying.Finally she got a word in edgewise.

"Please Cathy, I'm sorry but I really need to sit down," Midii sighed."I'm so tired."

Cathrine's tirade faltered a bit as she noticed the deep purple circles ringing Midii's eyes.Midii contained a victorious smirk and let a tear slip down her cheek as she looked pleadingly at Quatre.

Remorse filled the two of them, they really had been concerned about her and then they'd attacked her the minute she walked in.

"Oh enough already," an irritated voice broke in as Cathrine helped Midii to the couch and Quatre started tucking an afghan around her."Can't you see she's manipulating you?She's only avoiding explaining herself!"

Quatre and Cathrine gasped and looked at Dorothy disapprovingly, Midii however blushed with shame.She was doing it again, doing it to people she truly cared about.

"She's right.I'm sorry," she whispered, looking down and pulling at the fuzzy fringe of the blanket Cathrine had made.

Dorothy raised a slender eyebrow in amusement and slid elegantly off the stool.

"Leave us alone," she said."I have a word or two for Miss Une."

"It's alright," Midii said, holding up a hand to still Cathrine and Quatre's protests."I'll talk to her."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A cold misty spray of water swirled around them as they stared at each other.The thunderous scream of the turbulent water below and the cold wet fog pervaded the atmosphere, muting their confrontation as if it were a dream.

Yet it was vividly real too, the crumbling stone wall rough and uneven beneath their booted feet and the encompassing chill of the wet air.Tiny rainbows shimmered in the spotlights that surrounded the basin, the illumination doing little to cut the odd, otherworldliness that hung over the scene like a smothering blanket.

Trowa's hair clung to his face in wet, auburn strands and his eyes gleamed in the sparkling wet light.He looked like he'd just risen from a mythical ocean, a vengeful god, cold-hearted and single-minded in his purpose [1].The evidence of his watery domain trickling in jeweled rivulets down his face and garments.

Richard was unimpressed as befitted a dark demon facing a god of light without fear, secure in his own skill and power.Golden eyes glittered in anticipation between unruly strands of sleek, heavy hair that clung to the sculpted contours of his face.

The words when they came, originated with Trowa.They were mundane words meant to spark the action rather than from any actual hope or desire that they would be obeyed.

"You're under arrest."

Ichiban tilted his head and searched Trowa's face for signs of a sense of humor he could somehow have overlooked.

He didn't find it.The sensuous lips curved into an amused smile.It was like dueling, all the finer points of protocol and etiquette had to be observed it seemed.

"Arrest?Do you think if you take me in and question me that you'll finally understand her?Understand what was between the two of us?You never could.You're not like her and I.You're engaged in a neverending struggle to capture something you can never have.Something that doesn't exist," Richard said, watching the silent tension build in the cords of muscle in his opponent's neck and the shift in his posture.

His voice continued the verbal attack.

"You're thinking that I tried to kill her, almost killed her.But I love her . . . 

Trowa took a step forward, he wanted to stop this conversation.

"You're under arrest," he repeated.

Ichiban laughed.

"For what?You've wanted it too.You know just how I feel about her.Has she ever betrayed you?Ever made you want to kill her?I thought I could do it, thought I could hate her but when it happened and her blood was on my hands . . ." the voice faltered and grew stronger again."She's like a siren.She'll kill everything you care about, destroy all you've worked for and yet when she holds out her arms to you, you can't resist.I've dreamed.Such vivid dreams . . . love . . . hate . . . blood. . . 

"Stop it," Trowa said, his voice ragged, the words too close to the truth as he saw how close he had come to killing her so long ago, the memory of moving the barrel of the gun so slightly at the last minute."I couldn't do it . . ."

"You are like me," Richard whispered, triumph momentarily lighting his slanting golden eyes as he stepped silently, cat-like toward the other man.First blood was his.The ledge was narrow and the stones shone slippery in the sparse light at the edge of the spotlight circles.

He lunged as the other man digested his poisonous words, burying his shoulder into Trowa's stomach, the momentum taking them both over the side of the ledge and hurtling toward the maelstrom below.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Midii felt at a disadvantage as Dorothy stared down at her, her arms folded.The other girl was elegant as usual and Midii pulled self-consciously at the short yellow skirt she still wore and reached up to pull off Cathrine's earring.

Dorothy's silent scrutiny increased her nervousness and Midii thought what a tough enemy the other girl could make.Her intentions were well-masked and if Dorothy didn't speak soon Midii was sure she would scream from all the tension.

"Nice outfit," Dorothy said finally, the corner of her lip turning up in a smirk.Sarcasm was one of her favorite weapons.It could be even more useful than a sword and it was always at hand.Miss Relena had been a fine opponent when she'd drawn her weapon on her, always coming up with the proper response to foil her attempts to shake her composure.

She doubted Midii would be as adept.She looked guilty and nervous and tired.Right where Dorothy wanted her.Dorothy was tired of competing with the traitorous little addition to their group.She was nothing but a troublemaker who didn't seem happy unless she was putting herself and others in danger.Dorothy would never forget the suffocating fear and loss of her self-control when Quatre had gotten himself trapped in that cathedral.Because of Midii.And tonight he'd been all set to rush out to look for her.Luckily she'd come home right when he'd been trying to talk the stoic Chinese pilot into accompanying him.At least someone else around here had some sense about that girl.

"What's the matter Midii?Did you come back because no one came after you?Couldn't you find any trouble to get into?I'm sure you're happy that Cathrine and Quatre fell right into your little scheme to get attention.They were very worried.You should be pleased with yourself.I hate to inform you that no one told Trowa though so your little plan to get him to come back and rescue you from the big, bad, unknown danger was a complete failure," Dorothy hissed.

An unfamiliar feeling of remorse crept in through an unguarded entrance to Dorothy's heart as Midii's face paled and she raised a shaking hand to rub her eyes wearily.She wasn't as satisfying an opponent as Miss Relena.There was nothing enjoyable about it at all.It was like kicking a wounded puppy and she suddenly and fervently hoped Quatre hadn't just overheard what she said.

"That's not what I wanted," Midii ventured, trying desperately to control her voice and match Dorothy's confident tone.Dorothy had plenty of reasons to be angry with her."I was only trying to help."

Midii's response fired Dorothy's anger again.Trying to help? Ha! Now would be the perfect time to tell her the things that she'd promised Trowa that day at the hospital.The day he'd run away from his responsibilities to Quatre.Of course Quatre never said a thing, but Dorothy knew he was hurt by Trowa's continued absence.

"I'll tell her you can't love anyone.That you don't know how.I'll tell her to find someone else . . . .

_ _

As Midii watched, Dorothy's face grew thoughtful, remembering.

_"Tell her," he'd said."Quatre was right, you are kind."_

_ _

She felt again the shock in her heart when she felt his lips on her hand, the kiss of forgiveness.She looked back at Midii and words she never meant to say came out of her mouth instead of the ones she'd planned.

"Just be patient.Trowa will come back.Understand how hard it was for him, all that happened in Brussels.He blames himself for what happened to you and Quatre," Dorothy said, surprising herself.

Tears streamed down Midii's face.

"Dorothy.I--" she said wonderingly.

"Hmmph," Dorothy said."Don't get all weepy.I can't believe you think he'd never come back.Remember he did promise to be Quatre's best man.And there's a reason we came to visit, even though you were so rudely not here although we had plans for dinner."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here," Midii apologized, wiping her face with the back of her hand."What was it you wanted?"

Quatre had talked her into this, but if left with a choice of one of his sisters, who were all either extremely flighty and silly like the youngest Safira or grim and stern like Yasmina, the oldest, she'd take the only other option available.She had so few women friends, or friends at all for that matter.Relena was the one she counted as her best friend but she had had to go and get pregnant.

"I can't believe she was so inconsiderate," Dorothy bewailed internally.

Here goes nothing, she thought, at least she could count on Midii to look good when the occasion warranted it although she looked rather trashy at the moment and smelled oddly of cotton candy lip gloss that shimmered on her lips.

"I was going to ask you to be in my wedding," Dorothy said."As Trowa's partner."

"Maid of honor," Midii asked, surprise evident in her voice. "Dorothy, I don't know what to say."

Dorothy frowned.Was she going to say no?Suddenly she felt unsure of herself and a wave of loneliness washed over her suddenly.

"Before you say no you should consider that you'll hurt Quatre's feelings if you do," Dorothy said tartly, trying to guard herself against possible rejection.

Midii smiled softly, realizing suddenly the meaning behind Dorothy's words.She had given her a gift.The gift of hope.For some reason the fact that Dorothy felt Trowa would come back meant a lot to her.She knew the other girl wouldn't say something like that just to soothe her feelings.

Could she want to be her friend?They really should get along since Quatre and Trowa were so close.Her eyes grew shadowed . . . if he ever came back, if he even wanted her back.But he would come home eventually, he'd definitely come back for Quatre's wedding.She had to believe that.

She chose her words carefully, Dorothy had a lot of pride and it was hard to decide just what to say.

"I'd love to Dorothy.Quatre's my friend as well as Trowa's and I'd never want to disappoint him.He's always been so kind to me.But I'll only do this if it's what you want as well.It's such a special time for you.You shouldn't have to make do with someone you don't want," Midii said, looking at Dorothy hopefully from beneath her lashes.

"Well," Dorothy said."You did help me out that time on Corsica, although it was your fault in the first place."

Midii had the grace to blush.

"And besides with Trowa gone at least I know you won't go and get pregnant like Relena," Dorothy said.

The two girls looked at each other and the tension broke, both of them were suddenly overwhelmed with relieved laughter.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Quatre and Cathrine were pressed against the door, listening anxiously to the conversation in the other room.

"I can't believe it," Cathrine said wonderingly."They made friends!"

"Of course," Quatre said, hiding his own surprise.He had hoped for this but still it came as rather a shock when it actually happened.

Wufei merely shrugged.

"Actually they were more interesting when they didn't get along," he said, surprising the other two with his words."I guess that means you've finally tamed that onna of yours Quatre.Her words don't cut like swords anymore."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ichiban grunted as his right hand caught on an outcrop of rock, the sharp stone cutting into his palm and coating it with silty grit.He swung his other hand up and grabbed onto the top ledge of the wall and hauled himself up, laying back on the solid stone and breathing in deep gasping breaths, opening his mouth to catch the mist of water on his tongue as his heartbeat slowed.

He'd pushed too hard, his anger overriding caution, if not for that lucky grab he'd be drowning in that swirling nightmare of cold, roaring water.He could hear sounds below the wall, sirens, shouts. Richard sat up, intent on flight when his gaze fell on a figure that seemed to be hovering some distance out over the hydro-basin.Trowa stood in the beam of one of the spotlights, hands stuffed unconcernedly in his jacket pockets, surrounded by the mist that obscured the wires that criss-crossed the water.Casually he started to walk in toward the wall, keeping his eyes on Richard, never even looking at the wire beneath his feet.

As Ichiban, stared disbelieving at the seemingly miraculous display Trowa disappeared again, landing on silent feet behind his prey.

Richard heard the sound of labored breathing behind him and whirled, arms up in defense against whatever apparition was there in the darkness.Green eyes, like a tiger's in the jungle, tracked him in the darkness.

"How," he muttered as a hard fist came flying out of the shrouded dimness.As he blocked the blow another hit followed, catching him in the jaw and knocking him back, the unforgiving stone of the ledge jolting his spine painfully and he tasted blood in his mouth.

Trowa reached down to fist his hand in the wet fabric of Ichiban's trenchcoat, drawing him close.

"I'm taking you in," he said.

"It's not over yet," Richard answered, raising his fingers in an upwards swooping motion in an attempt at a pressure point attack.

Trowa sidestepped and the hand slid past him, the air whooshing a bit from the missed blow.He dropped his hand from Ichiban's coat curled his other hand into a fist, ramming it into the other man's gut.

Richard felt the sensation of flying backward, felt the sickening certainty that there was nothing beneath his feet as he lost his footing and teetered over the edge of the crumbling wall for a second before Trowa grabbed his coat again and hauled him back.Trowa tossed him down onto his stomach, the fall knocking the air out of him as he felt the snap of a steel handcuff on his wrist.

"Do you ever think that your dear Vice Foreign Minister and your upstanding agency may not have all the answers," Ichiban said as Trowa groped for his other hand in the darkness."I regret the people who died on that shuttle but without nations and national armies the economic crisis will continue.It's inevitable.You can't stop it.Do you think Midii will admire you so much when she sees your side doesn't have all the answers?She believed in what I was doing, she knows what it's like to be poor, to starve, to see death.Those are the things that make people like me and like Midii. Everyone will lose their faith in what you've done when they find out that peace does not equate Utopia.I wanted peace once too, but it's a childish, impossible dream . . . it isn't the answer."

Richard blinked back hot, angry tears of frustration.He wouldn't be taken.Death was preferable to humiliation and their self-righteous lectures on peace.As Trowa's hand finally closed over his free wrist he twisted himself, sweeping his legs around and knocking the Preventer off balance.Before Trowa could scramble back to him, Ichiban disappeared over the side of the wall.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Next time on The Price of Redemption . . . Will Trowa finally come home?. . Diarmid can't resist temptation . . . Heero and Relena learn to breathe.

[1]Allusion to Triton, god of the sea 


	17. Chapter 17

The Price of Redemption

The Price of Redemption

Chapter 17

By Midii Une

Snowflakes drifted beyond the window and Midii admired them as they floated like delicate bits of lace against the iron-gray sky.It was a prank by some college interns, but it was someone else's problem not really hers.She privately thought it was beautiful; the sparkling and pure blanket of white somehow transformed even the stark ugliness of this L1 colony.Operation Whiteout had everyone working overtime but so far there'd been no luck on cleaning up the virus in the colonial weather control.

"Never thought I'd see a storm like this up here," Diarmid commented."I'd like to be there when they bring those little smart asses in to see Lady Une.I heard they're getting copycats on other colonies, it's amazing how some of these kids can get the data so they can postpone school and work while at the same time the great Heero Yuy can't find a clue."

Midii reluctantly turned from the window to return to her computer, everyone was supposed to be engaged in tracking the weather virus but so far with no luck.Still, it was rather amusing to hear Diarmid say aloud what they were all thinking.Was the great Heero Yuy being distracted by impending fatherhood?

"Perhaps you have an idea on how to stop this yourself Agent Walker," a cold voice asked.

Diarmid shrugged and Midii watched his chin jut out stubbornly.She was somehow impressed by his seeming lack of intimidation but as she looked at Heero in the doorway a wave of sick fear washed over her erasing all other feeling.Heero just didn't make unannounced visits to her office.There was something wrong.

There was no clue on his face but she doubted she'd ever see Heero's façade crack, despite all the joking among the ranks that becoming a parent was changing him.If that was indeed true then only Relena knew it.He was dressed in his formal Preventer uniform, the one both he and Trowa favored, black silk tie knotted perfectly at his throat and contrasting starkly with the crisp khaki shirt beneath.His deep forest jacket was perfectly creased and showed off his slender muscular frame in a way that drew admiring glances from female staff members.

Trowa, her mind screamed, something had happened to Trowa.Diarmid saw her hands clench into fists, balling in the fabric of the black skirt she wore.His eyes slid upward to the V of her blouse and he could see her pulse beat jumping wildly with a primitive terror that he saw mirrored in her eyes.He tore his gaze from her to the man in the doorway but there was nothing in that expressionless face as far as he could tell to make her so afraid.

"Midii? What is it," Walker asked, daring to slide his hand over one of her trembling ones.

Heero's eyes narrowed imperceptibly, the majority of the time Duo's gossipy chatter went right in one ear and then out the other.But the agent's obvious strong emotional reaction to Midii's distress brought something back.

"Tro's got some competition," Duo had said.There'd been amusement in his voice but also a silent plea for Heero himself to keep an eye on the situation.

"We need to talk Midii," he said."I've heard from Trowa."

He saw her let out her breath in a visible sigh of relief and a touch of color came back into her pale cheeks, he hadn't really thought what she might construe from his visit.

"Alone," he said significantly, noticing how the man at her side looked to her first before obeying his order to get out.She could be like Relena in some ways, having such a strong effect on people, even someone like Trowa who he had thought above such temptation.But then again, fairness forced him to admit that Relena had a very similar effect on him.Relena's intentions had always been pure however, while he doubted they'd ever know everything there was to know about Midii Une's past.

As soon as the door had shut behind the reluctant Walker, Midii attacked.

"You scared me half to death!Is Trowa alright," she demanded, rising from her chair, her blue-gray eyes sparking angrily.

"Perfectly fine," Heero answered, having never really considered that Trowa was in danger.He was a Gundam pilot and a soldier that had no equal, except himself of course, and perhaps the others.Women, however, were prone to unnecessary fears it seemed."I only thought it was fair to let you know that the situation has been resolved."

"Richard is dead," she whispered, the ghost of the young teen-aged girl she had been flinching.He hadn't always been someone to fear and to dread.Once, a long time ago, she had cared very much.But as with everything in her life since she had been 10 years old her feelings for Nanashi came first.They always would.She shivered though, she had betrayed Richard and now he was dead.

"When is Trowa coming back," she asked.She had to see him, had to know if there was any chance they could get things back to the way they had been before she'd gone to Brussels.

Heero shrugged and sat down in the straight chair across from Midii's desk."There are a lot of loose ends to tie up with Colonial authorities.Ichiban was wanted on some matters there as well and they're still waiting on official identification of the remains."

"When did all this happen," Midii asked, suspicion edging her voice.

"A week ago tomorrow," Heero said and Midii's heart dropped.A week had gone by already and he hadn't come back . . . she'd believed that as soon as he stopped Richard he would come back to her.

"There's something else I'd like to discuss if you don't mind," he continued."The shuttle pilots' strike has been averted.All the papers were finally signed this morning."

Midii nodded."Agent Walker told me," she said softly.

"What's your professional opinion of his performance on this case, Mimi," Heero asked.

"Ah, you knew then," Midii said, hardly surprised.

"Mimi Dunn.It was hard not to know.If I hadn't thought you could do it I'd have called you on it, but as it is the mission was a success," he said."What I don't know is how much you're responsible for.I need to know how far we can trust this agent's skills."

"He did a fine job but he still needs a guiding hand," Midii admitted, brightening a little in light of the fact that Heero wasn't angry about this at all."Do you want me to work with him?"

"No," Heero said shortly, thinking of Trowa and the stubborn look in the newcomer's eyes when he looked at Midii."I have something off colony in mind, he'll be working with Duo on it."

"That's a good idea.He really wants this and with some work he'll make a good addition to the agency," Midii agreed.Yes, distance would be good.She liked Diarmid very much, his friendly open personality and obvious admiration were oddly comforting in Trowa's absence, but there could never be anything but friendship in her heart for him or anyone else.

She returned to the window after Heero left her alone. "Trowa," she whispered desperately, leaning her forehead against the cool glass and wrapping her arms around herself tightly.She wanted to be in his arms, feel him squeeze her until she gasped for breath.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Almost a month had gone by, a month full of paper work and red tape and frustration. Trowa looked out the window of Molly's apartment at the falling snow.Her brothers were building a snow fort, enjoying the phenomenon of a snowstorm on the colony.The Operation Whiteout virus was spreading but aside from an increase in motor vehicle accidents and school closings it really wasn't very harmful.People almost seemed friendlier, smiling at each other as the drifts piled higher.It made life on the colonies that much more like the Earth some of them had never even experienced.

The hydropower plant defied the beauty of the snow it seemed, it's dirty gray hulk rising starkly above the piles of white.The weather was holding up the search for Ichiban's body but Trowa wanted to go home now, he was tired of waiting.The suspense was turning to agony. He had to face Midii, had to see if she would forgive him for the things that had happened in Brussels.He ran his slender fingers across his face, he didn't want to think of what he'd done or the things he'd said to her.But he knew he had to go back even if he wasn't sure how he was going to approach her or what he was going to say. His mind fast-forwarded over that part every time, jumping ahead to a place when she would already have forgiven him, a time when he could wake up holding her close in his arms and feel her hair spread across his chest and her breath on his skin.

He felt a touch on his arm and looked down into a pair of cornflower blue eyes staring up at him full of concern.He sighed and whispered his thanks as she handed him a mug of steaming coffee.Those eyes weren't as innocent as they had been when he'd met her.As he stared at the grim walls of the plant he was fiercely glad that Ichiban was dead.How could he ever have forgiven himself if something had happened to Molly? Already he regretted that her association with him had shown her an ugly side of the world that she hadn't known existed.

With Midii he didn't have to worry about things like that, she was like him; she'd seen so much and done so much.They were the same, that had been what attracted him to her in the first place.There had been a strange wonder in his soul so long ago when he brought her back to the mercenary camp.He had found someone like himself, someone lost and alone and forced to fight for their very existence.

"Oh Midii," he thought."I've been wrong about you so many times." But that first impression had been the true one.They were the same and they needed each other.

He was going home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Midii's hand reached for the doorknob but she drew it back as unmistakable noises drifted from under the door.A smile that was part wistful and part amused crossed her face then disappeared again as she tiptoed back down the hallway.

As she stepped back outside, breathing deeply of the frigid January air her amusement fled only to be replaced by mild annoyance.Cathrine did have a bedroom of her own, with a lock on the door no less!You'd think those two would stop acting like a pair of horny teenagers and save their passion for behind closed doors.

"You're just forgetting what it's like to have someone you feel that way about," she told herself.A little bit of Cathy and Wufei's happiness seemed to touch her, let her hope that maybe someday she would feel that way again.

"Oh Trowa," she thought longingly."When are you coming back?"

What if he never does, a small voice taunted, striking sharp pain in her heart.

Stop that, she scolded herself, he _will_ come back.But, some of the glow of Dorothy's encouraging words had faded in light of the fact he was in no hurry to see her again.It had been a whole month since his mission had ended and he hadn't contacted either her or Cathy.She sighed a little and trudged off through the glaze of snow, no real destination in mind, her only desire to leave the two lovers in peace for a bit.

He watched her walk away, alone in the dark.Her actions puzzled him, why hadn't she stayed upstairs?

In this weather the street was deserted.Didn't she realize there could be danger in the silent darkness?Even though Ichiban was dead he feared for her, she looked so frail and vulnerable.She was like one of the snowflakes that swirled around them, he was afraid she would melt at his touch.Their long absence from each other made her seem like an illusion.A snow maiden that would disappear perhaps when the sun touched her, too wonderful to be real.He followed after her silently, his eyes never leaving the slender form that preceded him. His heart pounded but now that she was so close he didn't know how to approach her.Would she even want to set eyes on him again, after what he'd put her through?

He wondered if Dorothy had made good on her promise to open Midii's eyes to just what kind of person he was.A man afraid to trust, afraid to love.But that wasn't absolutely true, his feelings for her were strong enough to draw him back, to make him long to try again.And he had always loved her, though he hadn't always gone about showing her in just the right way.Perhaps even now he should go away, leave her in peace, let her start again.She was safe and happy enough without him he supposed.

Trowa turned away.Not yet.

Midii glanced over her shoulder, unable to shake the eerie feeling that someone was silently following her.But there was nothing behind her but darkness.She shivered, but it was more than the cold.

"This is stupid," she told herself, speaking aloud to break the silence."Walking around in the cold, in the dark just because Cathy and Wufei have some weird couch fetish!"

She saw a church, lights glowing through the stained glass windows but the edifice held no comfort for her.She didn't think she'd willingly step foot inside one again and she smiled to remember that at least Quatre and Dorothy planned a garden wedding.For them too the Cathedral in Brussels held long-lasting memories they wouldn't want resurrected on their wedding day.

She glanced over her shoulder again but only the imposing stones of the church appeared behind her.There was no one there.

Eyes followed Midii once again.Tired eyes filled with determination.Fate had given him this second chance and he would not waste it.He had a promise to keep and destiny had brought her here, alone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Cathrine gripped at the cushions of the couch, her head tipped back and a soft smile curving her lips as the silky strands of Wufei's midnight hair slid over her and his lips pressed unerringly to the spots that pleased her most.

He was an intense lover, committing to memory every place on her body that set her trembling when he touched it.His black eyes lit with almost savage pride as a soft moan escaped her when his teeth tugged gently at her earlobe.His woman, his Cathrine, her sweet surrender lit a fire in him that only she could put out, but it was never gone completely.She burned like a smoldering ember inside him when they were apart, an ember that flared to a conflagration when they were together like this, alone in the dark.The firelight that glowed on the walls was like their passion, hot and flickering.

He couldn't get enough of the fire that burned him but afterward was a thing to be savored as well.The soft glow of her love wrapping around him, the feeling of protectiveness and tolerance only she could awaken in him.It was a weakness to feel this way for her and yet it took courage too, to let her into his solitary life like this, to let himself feel for her what he had felt for no one before, not even his wife Meiran.That had been a marriage made by others, Cathrine was his choice, and she was the one who had unlocked the heart he'd never known he'd had.

Wufei studied her in the firelight, the flames made her ivory body seem to glow with warmth and it burnished the edges her reddish-brown hair till it seemed tipped with gold.When she turned her violet eyes on him they burned with purple fire in the light.

A sharp knock on the door broke through his reverie.

"Oh! It must be Midii," Cathrine said, glancing at the clock guiltily."I lost track of time."

A pert, teasing smile appeared on her face as she winked at her lover and pulled her clothes on.

"Just a sec," she called out."We're not decent yet."

Wufei flushed, he loved her, but sometimes he didn't quite understand her outspoken, matter-of-fact ways.But she and Midii were like sisters now that Trowa had run off and he guessed they must talk about everything. It was a disconcerting thought, to say the least.

He watched her scamper off toward the door as he buttoned his shirt rapidly, not wanting to see that amused look in Midii's eyes or the sadness that never went away.The same sadness that he caught in Cathrine's eyes when she thought he wasn't looking.When would Trowa come to his senses and come back?

Love wasn't something you should throw away.Even if your choice of lover was an annoying, unpredictable onna like Midii Une.Still, he gave a silent prayer of thanks that fate had given him someone like Cathrine.Her little peculiarities were small in comparison.

He heard her gasp and jumped to alert.With Midii and himself so closely attached to Preventers there was always a risk of sudden danger.

"Trowa," he heard her shriek before she launched herself on the person at the door.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Midii," he said, his hand reaching out to grab her elbow and spin her around."I'm back."

"Diarmid," she cried, reaching out and squeezing his hand.The smile on her face was genuine."I missed you!When did you get back?"

"Just got in," he said, grinning at the sight of her smile and the fact that she had missed him."What are you doing out tonight . . . ahhh, don't tell me, the apartment is doubling as a love nest again?"

Midii shrugged."You said it, I didn't!"Then she laughed.He thought how much he loved her laugh, it made her seem so sweet and childish.

"How went the mission," she asked as they hurried through the snow to a small corner bar whose lights glowed warmly in the cold darkness.

"You won't believe it," he said as they slid into a booth."It was a couple of 10-year-old kids hacking into the system.Thought they were playing computer games or something.They teamed me up with Duo Maxwell on L2.He scared those two boys good, but luckily they were just kids.They couldn't do much harm at age 10 I suppose.And now we've got a good lead on stopping the virus everyywhere.It was fun while it lasted though, wasn't it?"

Midii stared at him, her face pale and sad.A 10-year-old could do a lot of damage, she knew that first hand.A 10-year-old could commit crimes that would follow them their whole life and ruin any chance of happiness.

"Christ, Midii," Diarmid said, noticing her expression, remembering rumors he'd heard about her past."I'm such an idiot.Still, these kids were just goofing around.There was nothing sinister.We did check it out thoroughly of course."

He cursed himself for bringing up unhappy memories.Her dismal face made his heart ache even as her nearness made desire flare in him.She was close enough to touch, he could feel the heat of her body near his and her hand rested so close beside his on the table.He'd missed her, Lord he had missed her.Her voice and the vision of her face carried in his heart the whole time he'd been away.Was she ready?He had to take a chance, he longed to kiss her and see her smile again as she had when he showed up.

Diarmid's hand slipped over to cover her small one and she looked up, her blue-gray eyes flashing a warning which he ignored.He felt like he had been patient so long and now all he had to do was bend his head closer to hers and claim those pale pink lips.

"Midii . . . darling," he breathed, one hand reaching to brush her cheek and pull her closer.He smiled and his nose brushed hers, she was holding her breath, he could tell and the little hand in his was cold when he rubbed his thumb over the back of it.He wanted to take her back to his apartment and cuddle up with her beneath the down comforter his mother had sent him when she heard about the snow.Christ, he could think of no better way to spend the rest of the winter than keeping her warm. Time stood still and he bent closer, already losing himself to visions of her in bed beside him under a mountain of blankets, her body curled beside his and he lost himself in those wide blue eyes."I love you," he whispered, letting his lips at last brush hers.

Heaven, he thought, exerting the lightest pressure on the soft lips beneath his as his hand slid into the silky mass of her hair.

"Oh Midii," he murmured, moving his other hand around her waist to pull her against him.

"No, please," she said, pushing at his chest and breaking off the kiss.Her blue-gray eyes shone with angry tears."We had an agreement.You promised," she said, her voice shaking.

"I couldn't help it.I'm sorry," Diarmid apologized hastily, shaken by the look in her eyes."I love you Midii, I can't stop how I feel.Duo told me that Ichiban is dead.But Trowa still hasn't come back, has he?"

Midii stared at her hands and he saw a teardrop fall and land with a splash on the back of her hand, he reached over to grasp her hand but she pulled away.

"I have to leave," she said dazedly, sliding out of the seat. "I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"Midii at least let me drive you," he begged, as he mentally cursed himself for blowing it all now and moving too fast when she was still hurting from Trowa's failure to come home.

She shook her head."I'll walk," she whispered.

"Like hell you will," Diarmid said, grabbing her arm more roughly than he intended."Don't be stupid, let me call you a taxi at least."

She nodded.Neither of them noticed the dark-haired man leaving the booth behind them, hands balled into fists in his pockets and a smile on his face.

He waited with her for the taxi to show up, an uncomfortable silence hanging between them.

"How about lunch tomorrow," he ventured.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she said, staring at the wet black marks on the floor left by snowy boots.The wind outside howled and snow swirled heavily in the air, transforming the night sky into a curtain of white.

She glanced out the window and saw the taxi pull up, the horn honked.

"Goodbye," she said, pushing the door open and stepping out into the snowstorm.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Oh Trowa, I can't believe you're home," Cathrine said for the hundredth time, she clung to his arm happily as water for tea boiled noisily on top of the stove.Wufei hung back a bit, uncomfortable with Trowa's return and his own new relationship with Cathrine."Midii will be back soon.She'll be so happy!"

The phone rang and Wufei volunteered to pick it up.Trowa raised an eyebrow.This was a surprise, Wufei so at home in Cathy and Midii's apartment.He squelched the urge to smile, Cathy should have been a magician, not a knife-thrower, she had worked wonders with Wufei.But he couldn't smile.Midii would be home soon and he wondered how she'd react to seeing him again.Was Cathy right?Could she possibly be happy to see him?

"That's impossible," Wufei said, his voice harsh and disbelieving."You can't mean he's here on this colony?Sally, the man is dead."

Trowa walked over to the vidscreen, the urgency of Wufei's voice demanding his attention.

"What is it," he asked, although part of him already knew.It was like a nightmare.He'd let down his guard and now he was out there.

"Ichiban's alive," Wufei said. "Heero said he was spotted on a routine surveillance tape at the spaceport.He came in on the same flight you did Trowa."

Ichiban was out there.

And so was Midii.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The taxi driver was tall with wavy black hair.The snowflakes showed white against it as he opened the door for Midii.Diarmid watched him, his mind taking note of little except the fact that she was leaving, that she wanted nothing more to do with him.The driver shut the door behind her with a slam; she hadn't even glanced at the man, in a hurry to get in the car and out of the snow.The tall, slender man, glanced over his shoulder, his golden eyes meeting Diarmid's blue ones through the glass momentarily before he raced around the taxi and got in the driver's seat.

As the bright yellow car pulled away from the curb, Diarmid turned and took a seat at the bar. "Irish whiskey," he muttered when the bartender looked askance at him."Just give me the whole bottle."

He bolted down a shot, the liquor burning in his throat, as he remembered the brief sensation of her lips beneath his, the feel of her hair beneath his hands.Saw her walking away through the snow without a backward glance.Saw the eyes of the taxi driver glancing at him.

Golden eyes. Every morning before work they had briefings and he knew that face from the top of the list of the agency's most wanted.

He got up from his seat so quickly he knocked over the bottle in front of him, the amber liquid pouring in a stream over the polished wood bar.Diarmid yanked on his coat and raced out the door, ignoring the protests of the outraged bartender.

"Midii," he yelled at the empty street, before racing towards his own car to follow the taxi.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Relena let her fingers caress the velvet burgundy curtains that framed the dark windows as she watched for Heero to come home.She hated to admit the snow was beautiful.She missed Earth but she would never confess that to her husband.As Vice Foreign Minister it was a good example to make her home on the colonies and here she could be with Heero.In the depths of her heart she knew that was even more important to her than setting a good example.

She turned from the window and took a seat in front of the fire, its glow the only light in the darkened room.She smiled to herself as her fingers stroked the taut skin over her bulging stomach.

"Your papa wouldn't be pleased to know that we're admiring the snow," she whispered, a slow maternal smile lighting her face."It makes him very angry you know that he hasn't stopped it yet.So it will just be our secret."

She closed her eyes in contentment as a pair of familiar lips touched her cheek and a hand joined hers to rest on her stomach.

"Mmmmmmm, Heero," she sighed as his strong fingers traveled over her shoulders, easing out the kinks and tension from her body.

"I brought you something," he whispered, smiling a little at her groan of disappointment as he moved away to remove his snow-covered coat.

"Ooooh? What is it," Relena asked, her eyes lighting expectantly as she took the small plastic bag from her husband.

He grabbed the bag back and shook his finger at her.

"Close your eyes and you'll see," he said.

Relena smiled, she loved when Heero succumbed to light-hearted teasing.

"I'll beat you yet Dr. J," she thought victoriously, she was winning her love over to his own humanity and the slow revelation of the inner Heero was sweet indeed.

She could hear him doing something to the sound system and after a minute soft, lilting oriental music filled the air."Keep your eyes closed and relax," Heero cautioned as he noticed her lids flutter.

Relena sighed happily as she felt him sit behind her on the floor before the fire, her body curling into his as if it had been designed to fit the curves of his body.The music was so beautiful, the distant flutes driving the last of the tension from her overtaxed body and letting her relax against her husband.

"Tonight," he whispered in her ear."We're going to learn to breathe . . . 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


Midii pulled off her cream-colored leather gloves and smoothed the fingers in her lap before tucking them in her pockets.It was warm in the taxi, but she liked it, it was so cold outside.She sighed, maybe she had overreacted to Diarmid's kiss.She had known how he felt, maybe it had been foolish of her to believe they could only be friends.She touched her fingers softly to her lips.The kiss had been pleasant, but that was all.She cared for him only as a friend.Her heart beat only for Trowa.She knew it always would, even if he never came back.

She pulled her gloves back on again, it was only a few blocks to the apartment, they'd be there in a minute.She raised her head to look out the window, the landmarks were unfamiliar and she realized that with her time spent daydreaming they should have reached the apartment long before this.Her eyes shifted to the rearview mirror and they were met by the glance of a pair of familiar eyes.

"Ma toute douce, so you finally notice me," he said.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Where could she be," Trowa asked Cathrine and Wufei frantically.He'd been with her and left her out there.This couldn't be happening, it was a nightmare he would wake up from, it had to be.It had been more than an hour, she should be back.

"Calm down," Wufei said."She's alright.There's a bar near headquarters, she goes there sometimes, a lot of the Preventers go there after hours.I'll call over there and they'll keep her there till we can get over there ourselves."

But the phone rang again before he could make the call.

"There's been a murder," Sally said, her face pale. "A taxi driver.The company says he was on his way to make a pickup at the bar near headquarters."

"Trowa's here.We'll get right on it," Wufei said.

"Is Midii there," Sally asked anxiously."Shouldn't someone stay with her and Cathrine with Ichiban out there?"

"We don't know where Midii is," Wufei said tersely, terminating the connection and following Trowa out the door.He had a bad feeling that she was in that hijacked taxi and that Ichiban was the driver.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Richard," Midii gasped, blinking her eyes in disbelief.

"Thank you for not saying you thought I was dead," he said, grinning."You should have known me better than that anyway."

Midii's eyes hardened, anger momentarily dispelling the inevitable fear and shock. He had taken everything away from her, he was the reason Trowa had left her behind. The cause of the headaches that would probably plague her as long as she managed to live.The cause of poor Quatre's injuries, suffered because he'd tried to save her.If he thought he was going to kill her that easily now, he was mistaken.A deep survival instinct surged inside her as she stared at him and silently weighed her options.

"Speechless Midii-chan," he asked."You won't be much of a loss to the Preventers.You've lost your touch, you had so many people following you tonight and you didn't notice any of us."

She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts.Could this really be happening?

He turned to her again and she jerked back against the seat as he stroked her cheek with the tips of his black-gloved fingers.

'It's really me.You're not the only lucky one Cherie.Don't you think I felt the same when I saw your pretty face up on those screens and heard them talking about miracles?I suppose you know now how I must have felt," he said

She let her eyes go wide and grabbed his shoulder.

"Richard," she shrieked."Look out."

He instinctively stepped on the brakes and the car slid on the icy road, the tires squealing as Ichiban fought to control the spinout.

"I still know a few tricks myself, you bastard," she said, pushing the door of the moving vehicle door open and jumping out, rolling to avoid injuring herself.She picked herself up and ran for the woods, her feet sinking deep in soft snow. 

"Fuck," Ichiban cursed, as the car continued to slide the harder he stepped on the brakes, he spun the wheel in the direction Midii had disappeared and let the car slam into a tree at the side of the road.He pulled the gun out of his coat and took aim at the disappearing trail of blond hair that was quickly lost in the dense stand of trees at the side of the highway.

He smiled a bit as he ran after her, hearing the crunch of her boots on the icy path cut through the trees.This was much more satisfying after all than shooting her like a sitting duck in that taxi.It was cold out here and he'd last much longer than she would, especially if she'd injured herself at all jumping out of the car. He knew cold, he could stand anything.This wasn't nearly as bad as when that hydroplant worker had pulled him from that icy water, the cold then had been all-encompassing. He picked up his pace and was rewarded with a sight of her running form ahead of him in the distance.He took aim at a tree next to her and pulled the trigger, laughing to see her startle and try to put on speed.

Diarmid's car screeched and spun on the icy pavement as he caught sight of the abandoned taxi on the side of the road.He pulled to the side and jumped out, landing mid-calf deep in snow; the storm was already erasing the footprints he picked up in the beam of his flashlight.The sharp report of a gunshot spurred him to action as he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.He had to reach Sally; he had to reach somebody . . . 

"Yes," Trowa said punching the car's speakerphone button, his hands clenched painfully, as memories of the dead prostitute's hair spread over the dried brown rose petals haunted him.

"Agent Walker called in," Sally said."She was in the taxi.I'm sorry Trowa.He found it abandoned at Mile marker 16 on the eastern highway.He's pursuing on foot.He'll do his best . . .but . . ."

Trowa hung up, he knew what she was thinking.

That it was already too late.

Midii's side burned with a cramp as she forced herself to keep running."He's playing with me," she thought as he kept a measured distance from her, firing his gun at the objects around her and laughing as she tried to run faster.The cold air burned in her lungs and stung her face.She wondered if there was any way to reason with him, but if he hadn't used his second chance at life to simply disappear but instead had chosen to come after her she knew that idea was hopeless.

Midii stumbled as her legs tired but she pushed herself back up and kept running almost mindlessly as a shot rushed by her head in whoosh of air.She could feel the tiny amount of heat from the speeding bullet going by.The report of the gun hung in the frozen, silent woods.It was like being alone in a nightmare, all she could do was run and run but the deep snow held her back and made it so hard to run.

"I can't keep it up.It's no use," she thought desperately, gasping for breath as she turned a corner in the path, the twist obscuring her from his view momentarily.She darted her eyes from side to side and noticed a break in the trees.Another, less-used path she thought, desperate hope motivating her.She had no choice but to try it, she thought as she made a sharp sudden turn.Ice-glazed branches hit her in the face as she ran through the bushes and tripped over a tree root that jutted up from the floor of the woods.A frantic shriek escaped her lips as she fell forward into a dark emptiness, there seemed to be nothing beneath her feet and she fell finally hitting the wall of a ravine and tumbling down the little hill, trying desperately to catch herself with her hands and failing.

"Where are you, you little bitch," Ichiban shouted, shining his flashlight over the snow and through the trees, she'd disappeared around a corner and when he'd followed she was nowhere in sight.He looked at the path ahead of him and it was covered with pure drifts of snow, no footprints to show that Midii had passed.

"You can't hide, Midii," he called into the silent woods.He'd had enough, it was cold and his breath rasped painfully in and out of his lungs from running.But the snowy woods were momentarily silent.

Then he heard it, a terrified little scream some yards behind him. He smiled in a predatory way and turned slowly.It was all over now.

Diarmid heard the distant scream and picked up his pace although his heart was already pounding from running through the deepening snow.

Ichiban heard the sound of running feet and took aim at where the figure's shoulder would be.He wanted to kill her slowly, look into those frightened eyes and see the expression there when he took her life.She had been so much trouble, ruining his chances at power and wealth and then being the cause of his being stalked by that madman Preventer of hers for endless months.It only made it worse that she was someone that he had once loved.

The bullet burned through Diarmid's shoulder, striking him as he turned the corner.

"Shit," Ichiban shouted, frustration cracking his voice."Who the fuck are you?This is getting goddamned ridiculous. It shouldn't be that difficult to kill one woman."

Diarmid was silent, his hand searching in the snow for his dropped weapon as Ichiban stalked toward him.The other man's words told him Midii wasn't dead and if she was running ahead of them this would improve her chances.

"Ah," Richard said, peering down at the fallen man with vague recognition."The idiot from the bar.You let her walk all over her you know. Midii would never want anyone like you, she likes them tall and quiet and above all green eyes, like Preventer Barton's.You wanted to be her hero, hmm?I almost feel sorry for you.We're in the same boat you and I.I loved her once, maybe I still do.At least I'll be doing you a favor, putting you out of your misery."

He lifted the gun and pointed at Diarmid's chest.Diarmid raised his hands in an attitude of surrender, he'd failed and there was no use arguing the point.He shut his eyes and a shot rang out.

"Christ," Diarmid shouted as Ichiban fell forward onto him, painfully knocking into his wounded shoulder.

"Where's Midii," Trowa shouted, yanking Ichiban up by the back of the coat and shaking his limp body."Where is she?"

Wufei helped Diarmid up."Do you know where she is," Wufei asked eyeing Trowa's outburst warily.

Diarmid shook his head."He hadn't caught up with her yet though, she's still alive, she must be.I heard her scream before I got to him."

He looked at Trowa and his bright blue eyes locked with the other man's emerald ones."Did you finally kill the motherfucker this time?"

Trowa dropped the body and fired two more shots into it for good measure.He looked back at Diarmid and nodded.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The sound of gunfire woke Midii up and she tried to get to her feet, crying out softly in pain as her ankle collapsed beneath her.She reached up and touched her forehead with her gloved hand, feeling it smear through wetness. She peered at her fingers in the darkness but though she couldn't see, she knew it was blood.Her teeth chattered from cold and fear.Richard was up there, he was shooting into the woods like a crazy person looking for her and she had no way to run anymore.She huddled next to the rock and sat as silently as she could, praying he wouldn't find her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So, this was Trowa Barton, the infamous Gundam pilot/circus clown/Midii's true love.True to form he had come dashing in to save the day, hell he'd even saved his sorry hide, Diarmid thought bitterly.He cut a hell of a figure in his Preventer uniform too, guaranteed to make the girls swoon, he thought sarcastically.Maybe he could have even liked him as he liked Duo and even Wufei here to some degree.But Midii loved him and so Diarmid hated him.She loved him and he treated her love like it was garbage he was too good to pick up.What wouldn't he give to have the chances this man had had with her?

He shook himself.Now was not the time to ponder his feelings for Trowa Barton.They had to find Midii, she could be hurt and it was so cold and she had been out here longer than any of them . . . all because he'd been stupid and tried to kiss her.

Trowa trudged off ahead on the path without a word to Wufei or Diarmid."Midii," he called, shining his flashlight carefully on both sides of the path, but the heavily falling snow had already obscured any footprints she and Ichiban had left.

"Midii! Please answer me," he called again.

Shit, Diarmid thought.The desperation even in the high and mighty Trowa's voice struck fear in his heart. Maybe Ichiban had hit her without realizing it.Why wouldn't she answer?

"I'm alright," he said, shaking Wufei off and ignoring the burning pain in his shoulder."We've got to split up and find her fast. Can you get more people in here?"

Wufei nodded and got on the phone to Sally as Diarmid went in the opposite direction of Trowa and shone his light on both sides of the path as the other man was doing. Ichiban had believed she was back here, that was why he had thought he was her . . . 

Midii cowered near a boulder, shivering violently.She heard the sound of her name, but it was a trick, it had to be a trick.He wanted to find her, to kill her.The moon shone eerily on the glimmering, ice-coated branches of the trees and she shut her eyes tightly.

How ironic, she thought, beginning to sob, he sounds just like Trowa.She covered her mouth with her gloved hands to keep him from hearing her cry.

Next time on The Price of Redemption . . . will Trowa or Diarmid find Midii before it's too late?

PS Sorry to those who thought it was cheesy that Ichiban survived -_-;it was necessary to the plot, I know it wasn't very original, it's such a handy plot contrivance, guess that's why it happens so often. Gomen!


	18. Chapter 18

The Price of Redemption

_We're on this rollercoaster ride_

_Hold on, I'll stay here by your side_

_We head up to the sky then we slide back down_

Upside down try to figure out 

_Not sure if we could work it out_

_I wanna be alone but you feel like home_

_Answer the phone, I know that you're home_

_I wanna get you alone, and do it again, do it again_

_Answer the phone, I know that you're home_

_I wanna get you alone, and do it again, do it again_

_The signals all are flashing red_

_It doesn't matter what was said_

_This bed is much too big without me and you_

_This all seems so ridiculous_

_Why can't we just get over this_

_Don't make me say the obvious_

_Without you_

_ _

_--Answer the Phone, Sugar Ray_

_ _

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Price of Redemption

Chapter 18

By Midii Une

He felt like he was completely alone in the frozen woods and he stopped to rest momentarily and gaze up at the sky, pinpricks of artificial light approximated stars in the metallic colony canopy high above.Ingeniously the little lights, actually massive lamps that looked small from this distance, mimicked the constellations on earth.The colonies were no more than smaller copies of the home planet, complete with everything it seemed.

But he had wanted to come here, to be up with the stars.Yet here, in space, you often couldn't even see the stars or the moon, only the metal walls of the colonies and artificial lights that gave the false impression of the celestial bodies.

Was everything in life a lie after all, Trowa thought despondently, as the cold cut through his coat and he shivered in reaction, even though his heartache dulled him from the sensation.

He had come to space to be closer to the stars, a childhood fantasy.He had come to space to escape from the hurt and betrayal inflicted on him by Midii and now here he was searching for her desperately.Wanting to find her more than he had ever wanted anything in his life.Maybe there was no chance for them to be together again.Maybe too much had happened, on both their parts for them to ever love each other like that again, with the total bliss and passion of young, first love. But he did love her and he realized he could never love anyone else, the first sight of Midii like an infection that consumed his heart.

Although he heard the voices of the others, far and distant, the sound dampened by the deep snow surrounding them he felt so alone.Without her he had always been alone. . . 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Diarmid pointed his dimming flashlight at a small break in the trees.He reached a finger to touch a small tree, it's limbs and twigs brittle with ice.At his touch more little twigs fell off easily and he shone the light down on them thoughtfully.The overhang of the trees was heavier here and it seemed like there were small pits in the snow, almost like footprints, slight hollows in the snow that grew more and more difficult to see as he stared at them.

"Midii! Please, help us find you," he yelled, his voice thin in the cold air and seeming to die away unheard in the vast woods.He pushed through the little break in the trees that was barely a path and his foot hit against a gnarled tree root jutting up from the ground, he flashed the light down again, gritting his teeth as pain from the jarring step shot through his wounded shoulder.Automatically he lifted his hand to the wound and it came back warm and wet with blood.Still bleeding, he thought, oh shit.But there was no way they were going to drag him out of this place until someone had found Midii.

He turned, obviously she hadn't gone this way, the path ended pretty damn abruptly.A sound tugged at his memory, her short scream that had been cut off suddenly with an awful finality.But Ichiban said he hadn't killed her.

He moved carefully back to the edge of the rocky ravine and flashed his dying light downward, it didn't give off much illumination in the pitch black but as the light moved over the ground, he thought he heard a soft sound, like a cry of pain or fear.

"Midii," he called again, moving the light."It's Diarmid, please answer me darling."

Silence.

The flashlight died then and Diarmid stood, indecisively at the edge of the ravine.It was cold, his shoulder hurt with an incredible intensity that sent shocks of pain through his entire body, making him feel light-headed.Going down there would be like a death sentence, he'd be as lost as she was.Hell, he wasn't even sure he'd heard something, he was listening for her so hard that maybe he'd conjured up the tiny sound.

Ichiban's mocking voice came back to him.She would never love him, he'd said and it was probably true.But he wanted to save her and be her hero, that much was also true, because no matter how she felt he still loved her.Trying as much as possible to protect his injured shoulder, Diarmid slid down the side of the ravine into the darkness.

After catching his breath he let his eyes adjust to the darkness and he heard small movements in the snow.An animal, he thought, trying to steel himself from disappointment.Hell no, animals were smarter than humans, they were all curled up somewhere in conditions like this.He saw clouds of white a few yards away and movement, then a faint groan of pain.

"Midii? Is it you," he called softly, not understanding who else it could possibly be and why she wasn't answering.

After awhile there seemed to be a tiny bit of ambient light from the stars that shone through the swirling snow and he saw her, the pale gleam of her hair, her gloved hands dark against it as she sat curled up against a rock, he could see her shaking.

Ignoring the pain in his shoulder Diarmid pushed himself up from the ground and ran over to her and dropping down in the snow beside her.

"Why?Why didn't you answer," he asked, pulling her shaking body against his roughly as his voice cracked with anger and fear.

"You have to be quiet or he'll find you," she whispered raising terror-stricken blue eyes to his. "He'll find you.He'll find you."

Her words trailed off and she cried in choking sobs as her body shivered uncontrollably.Diarmid pulled her closer with his good arm but he was in no condition to keep anybody warm right now.He was freezing to death himself.Trowa was going to have to be the one to save her after all, however much he hated to admit it.He wanted nothing more than to pick her up and carry her out of there himself but he couldn't.They needed help.

He propped her against him and pulled out his gun and shot it into the air. He put his arm around her and cuddled her close again, burying his face in her hair, hair that was cold and damp from melting snow. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

His hands turned her to muscles to liquid, drained her of all her strength until she was limp and relaxed.Her body was cupped in the curve of his, the two of them fitting together like a pair of spoons or two pieces of a difficult puzzle that after so much time had finally been fitted together.

Those hands were moving now as his voice murmured instructions in her ear.The humming of his words against her skin would have made her smile if she hadn't been so completely relaxed.Strong fingers moved up her arms, pressing firmly and sending a quiver through her chest as they reached the sensitive skin where her shoulders met her neck and a tiny sigh, all the sound she was capable of making at the moment escaped her throat.

Hoooh hooohhooooh,Heero breathed softly in Relena's ear, resisting the urge to nibble on the delicate pink skin so close to his lips."Three breaths," he repeated as the soft music made her feel like she was floating, a feeling that had become alien as her body thickened and grew more ungainly with each passing day.

Hoooh hooooh hooooooh, Relena repeated as Heero's hands traveled down the length of her arms to cradle her swelling abdomen.

The tiny person inside protested his mother's stillness, missing the familiar motion of her usual active behavior.Relena felt his smile against her cheek as a small foot jabbed his hand through her belly and she forgot the lesson as her attention was captured by the small intruder who was soon to take over their lives so completely.She placed her hands on Heero's and they sat in silence as the child put on an acrobatic display that would have put Uncle Trowa to shame.

"It doesn't hurt," Heero asked, awed by the miracle of life inside of her.

Relena shook her head."I'll miss it when the baby's born.It feels so wonderful to have a real part of us growing inside," she explained.

"Hn," Heero said, still unable to find the words to express his feelings.But she felt them in her heart.His hand circled her abdomen, feeling the small kicks and flutters and amazingly what felt like a tiny heel digging into his palm.He was awed when he pressed gently against the baby's tiny foot and he pressed back.

"He knows his Otousan," Relena said, smiling softly as the Japanese word for father rose automatically to her lips.She had so much to learn to properly raise her son in both European and Japanese ways, it was a challenge she looked forward to very much.

Both of them sighed simultaneously as Pagan appeared in the doorway of the cozy little sitting room.

"I have a communication from Miss Po. It seems urgent," the elderly butler announced, reluctantly interrupting their evening.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"We're down here. Watch the first step, it's a doozy,," Diarmid shouted, trying to steady his shaking voice.She was clinging painfully to his shoulder with all her strength and it hurt like hell but he wasn't about to push her away, he would never push her away.Trowa was back and he'd never get this chance again, he felt it with cold certainty in his heart. Trowa and Wufei slid carefully down the side of the ravine. Wufei aimed the beam of his flashlight at Diarmid and Midii.

"Midii, you're hurt," Trowa exclaimed pushing past Wufei, yanking off his jacket and kneeling to cover her with it.He glanced over at Diarmid, irrational jealousy heating his blood.Once again he hadn't been the one to find her.First Quatre and now this guy who looked at her with his heart in his eyes.Why was he never there when she needed him, he wondered.Was it some ironic twist of fate that because he'd left her behind that day so long ago he'd never get the chance to prove himself to her? I wanted to find you so much Midii, he said silently, pressing his face to her snow-damp hair and feeling her shiver against him, relief at finding her alive filling his eyes with the unfamiliar wetness of tears.

"Can you walk," he asked her as he set her carefully on her feet, wincing as he saw the blood, dark against her white face.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I can.I'm sorry," she sobbed, not daring to look up and meet his eyes at last. Midii took a tentative step and her teeth sunk into her lower lip as her ankle buckled beneath her weight.

"Shh, it's alright.I'm here, I have you," he whispered, glad of the excuse to sweep her into his arms and hold her close.He shut his eyes for a second as he felt her arms twine around his neck and he rested his chin on the top of her head momentarily as she hid her face in his shoulder with a sigh.

Damn, Diarmid thought, he'd known this would happen but it didn't stop it from hurting.What's with these guys, what makes them so perfect, he wondered dejectedly.It seemed so unfair that Trowa's flashlight worked and that he didn't seem to feel the cold without his coat as he just picked Midii up like a feather in his two perfectly healthy arms.He himself felt even colder without her tiny warmth nestled against him.It made him sick to keep hearing her apologize to Trowa in her choked little voice.She had nothing to be sorry for. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Midii felt her head swim, disconcerted by Trowa's appearance in her nightmare, she held herself tensely and clenched her eyes shut waiting for Richard to appear and shatter it all but nothing happened except for his arms tightening around as he slipped a little when climbing up the ravine.And then she was in a hazy sort of heaven, even if he was here out of duty or pity he was here, right there beside her and the familiar contentment that feeling brought soothed her terror.Nanashi, her mind repeated.In times of stress he ceased to be Trowa, Trowa was only a name he'd found after they met.In her heart he would always be Nanashi.

"Midii?"

Trowa paused to catch his breath, he hated to admit it would have been a relief to sit down right now.It had been difficult to hold her steady as he climbed and the stiffness of her body in his arms cut to his heart.Maybe she didn't even want him to touch her again . .. but there really was no other way although perhaps he was enjoying the bad situation too much because of the opportunity to hold her like this.He felt her body relax suddenly and she grew heavier in his arms.He called her name again.

Wufei impatiently aimed his flashlight in her face and shrugged.

"She fainted," he said, curling his lip in derision at the weakness of women, but secretly glad they had found her.Could he have faced Cathrine again, he wondered, if he'd let something happen to Midii?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Searching blue-gray eyes met his through the window and he put his fingers up against the glass but she violently wrenched her gaze from his as the intern carefully prodded her ankle and asked how much it hurt when he did it.

"Miss," he persisted as she stared at the people through the window out to the hall."You need to tell me what you're feeling.Did that one hurt?I kind of get the impression that it did."

Midii ignored the question.

"I have to speak to someone," she said finally, trying to swing her legs over the side of the examining table.

"Not yet.Whoever it is will wait," the young doctor said, losing his patience with the difficult patient."I can't help you unless you answer my questions."

He frowned as she continued to ignore him and focused her gaze on the group of people outside the window, before lowering her head and blinking her eyes rapidly to keep from crying.

The intern made an exasperated sound before stalking over to the window and flipping the blind shut with a twist of the cord. 

"Christ," he muttered as he noticed his patient was now perched dizzily on the edge of the table trying to get to the floor and stand."Put your head between your knees," he ordered as her face turned white and her eyes started to glaze over.Midii felt the dizziness recede as the blood flowed to her brain. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I know this is a difficult time but I need you to tell me exactly why it was necessary to kill the subject instead of bringing him in for questioning," Lady Une said, her soft voice hardening as Trowa continued to ignore her words and stare through the window and Wufei stared stubbornly at the wall as if none of it was his concern.For a long moment she examined the two young men and wished that Preventer was run by OZ, no one had dared then to hesitate when explaining their actions.

As she began to speak again the blinds to the examining room snapped shut and Trowa turned toward her dejectedly but although he was now looking at her he still stayed silent.Wufei sighed.Did he have to do everything around here?

"I realize Richard Ichiban was a valuable prisoner and we could have learned a lot from an interrogation and possibly a trial for his crimes," Wufei said."But you have to realize our situation.When we arrived on the scene he had shot and was actively threatening to kill Agent Walker and Trowa, I mean we, had suspicions that he had already harmed Agent Une.There was also strong reason to believe he murdered that taxi drive and those women on the Moon and the colony Trowa was investigating.I see no reason for any special investigation of the matter.There was no reason to show restraint in this case."

Lady Une glowered, she couldn't argue with Wufei's reasoning yet she was still unhappy with the lost opportunity to learn more about Ichiban's compatriots and schemes.

Trowa worried more about the closed blind than the conversation between Une and Wufei.Had she asked the doctor to do it so she couldn't see him?Her eyes had opened when they got to the hospital and the car door opened letting in the icy cold air.Had he imagined the softness in her eyes in that timeless second as they looked into his? He'd felt they were alone in the world, everything around them fading away before the emergency room staff took her away in a confusion of light and bright noise before he could even say a word.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Midii answered the intern's questions dully, as she tried to decipher the worry on Trowa's face.There had been a ghost of love and concern on his face when she opened her eyes.Her mouth had been so dry and her lips seemed unable to move, she'd wanted to whisper "I love you," but everything had happened so fast and then she was here with this man who seemed intent on torturing her.

Couldn't he see how much she wanted him with her, she wondered.Her heart ached.Her eyes fell on her gloves, which had been tossed aside when they brought her in.The soft ivory leather was streaked with blood.

"You're such a fool," she thought."Just because he helped you doesn't mean anything.He would help anyone who needed it.That's why you love him, why you've always loved him.All he feels now is obligation and pity.You ruined everything in Brussels . . ."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Maybe it had only been gratitude and he'd mistaken it for more.He couldn't cherish that tender look in her eyes, his conscience was still cringing from the doubts he'd had about her in Brussels.The memory of their lovemaking that night when he had been angry brought red heat to his cheeks.

"I'll talk to her later," he thought, as he started to walk away down the hall.As he passed the door of the examining room a hand stopped him.

"If you're leaving I think it's only fair to warn you that I'm going in," a voice rasped.

Trowa looked down at the belligerent shorter man whose blue eyes were determined and challenging.

Diarmid swallowed his intimidation, okay the guy was a Gundam Pilot, but he smelled fear on him.He sensed that Trowa wasn't all that sure about Midii's affection, there was something deeply wrong between the two of them.Sure, he wanted his chance with her but shouldn't what she wanted be what mattered right now?It hurt to admit that she wanted Trowa but she'd been up front with him about that from the beginning.

"I'm saying very clearly that she needs someone right now and if you're not going to be her someone I'm going to take my chances," Diarmid said, waiting for a fist to strike his cheek or shouted words.Being met only with silence he dared to continue.

"She's hurt and she's scared.Don't you have a heart?Couldn't you see how terrified she was?"

Trowa blinked.He had been thinking so much about his own fears that he had forgotten hers. No matter how she felt or what they would be to each other now he should be with her.

"Thanks," he said softly, putting a hand on Diarmid's uninjured shoulder."Thanks for everything."

"Yeah, sure," Diarmid whispered forlornly as Trowa disappeared inside Midii's door."Just call me Cupid."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Awkward silence hung in the little room broken only by the intern's endless questions as he wrapped Midii's ankle in an Ace bandage and pronounced it "a bad sprain."

The intern never knew how close he came to getting a knuckle sandwich for his midnight snack when his patient cried out in painful protest as he dabbed the scrape on her forehead with alcohol.Instead Trowa grabbed her hand and was rewarded with a smile that encouraged him enough that he kept hold of the cool little hand even when the smile faded.

"I-I'm sorry to be such a baby about this.Sorry about everything, Trowa.It's all my fault.I've done everything wrong," she whispered, dropping her eyes as the intern taped a gauze pad to her forehead.

"Midii, no," Trowa started.He was interrupted by Sally's sudden entrance and he stood back uncomfortably as the two girls embraced.Sally spoke soothingly and stroked Midii's hair, inquiring whether she was really all right.

"Hmm, she's not a very good patient," the intern grumbled.

Sally rolled her eyes and ignored the statement.

"Welcome back Trowa," she said, her eyes bright with relief as she thought things would have a happy ending for these two after all.They were together on the same colony at least, and that was a start."You can stay a few moments more but then we need to move her to a room.She's staying with us overnight."  
  


"I don't want to stay here.Can't I go home," Midii persisted, she'd spent enough time in hospitals and she felt a strange paranoia that Trowa would somehow disappear.She kept her eyes fastened on him even as she talked to Sally.

"Absolutely not," Sally said looking up from the intern's notes, aghast at the very thought."Your ankle is going to need therapy and you need someone to watch you every minute.Your concussion is mild but there could be complications when we take your old injury into account. Besides we don't want you going back out in the cold, you were near hypothermia."

"Ouch," Midii hissed as her friend the intern snuck up on her and gave her an injection.

"What's that," Trowa asked Sally.

"She needs to sleep, then we'll wake her up in 3 or 4 hours to check her condition," she explained.

Midii blinked, desperately trying to keep her eyes open, certain that once she closed her eyes he would leave.

"Trowa, please don't leave," she begged softly reaching out her hand for his again.

"Whatever you want Midii," he promised, taking her hand in both of his.

"I don't want to stay here," she repeated sleepily as her eyes closed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Darkness surrounded her, thick and heavy and she shivered and opened her eyes.There was no light only the blackness of the strange room.She struggled to move but she felt weighed down and helpless.A scream caught in her throat, coming out as a choking gasp of panic.

A dim light from the bedside table cast a meager light suddenly in the unfamiliar room and a hand caught hers like a lifeline.

"Midii.Shhhh, it's just a bad dream.You're safe," a voice said.Trowa's voice, she thought, her tenseness evaporating.She turned her head slightly to the side to see him sitting beside the bed in a chair.The mattress was so soft that she sank in deep and could barely move.She groaned and tried to pull herself up but the bed seemed to suck her in and her hands couldn't gain any purchase on the satin-smooth Egyptian cotton sheets.

He smiled in tender amusement as he saw her difficulty and she felt his arms around her pulling her up, when the midnight blue velvet blanket and ivory satin down comforter fell away from her bare arms she shivered again, goosebumps rising on her skin.Midii looked down at herself confused as the satin strap of the pale pink nightgown slipped over her shoulder.It wasn't hers, it seemed to be a size too big.It was all like a strange dream the occurrences of the night past seeming unreal and impossibly horrible here in the softly lit room.

Her ankle throbbed and the bandage on her forehead itched suddenly reminding her that it had all been real and perhaps this was the dream or maybe she had died back there and this was heaven.Except she wasn't sure that she was meant for Paradise . . .

A knot formed in her stomach as she glanced at Trowa, hardly believing he was really there.It was like they were alone in the world.His hand traveled the length of her arm, his fingers warm against her cool skin.

"You're still so cold," he frowned, turning away and flipping a switch on the wall.A gas fireplace in the opposite wall burst into life, orange and red flames flickering warmly in the darkness.

"How do you feel," he asked and caught her face in his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes.Trowa swallowed as he gazed into her eyes and he felt the soft texture of her skin send electric tingles through him. "How many fingers," he asked pulling himself back, holding up three fingers of his left hand.

"Three," she murmured, unconsciously leaning back toward his hand, missing his touch.His fingers smoothed the tape that held the small gauze pad on her forehead.If only she knew where she was, Midii thought, then she could be sure this wasn't a dream.Could he really be here with her?

"Where are we," she asked faintly, dreading her words would break the spell."I remember the hospital."

It seemed like he was blushing in the darkness and his eyes fell from her face.

"You said you didn't want to stay there," he admitted, peeking up at her from beneath his bangs."So I kind of kidnapped you.Heero and Relena are letting us stay. I hacked into the hospital computer to download your records, you're doing just fine."

"Oh Trowa. Kind of?," she whispered, their eyes catching for a moment before sudden shyness made them both look away.Midii giggled self-consciously.

"Sally's going to be very angry," she said.

"I'm sorry Midii," Trowa said suddenly, grabbing her hand again."I'd do anything you wanted, when you said you didn't want to stay there, I had to take you away.After everything that's happened I couldn't leave you behind again.I wanted you with me."

"But that day," Midii stuttered, her confession was akin to pinching herself to see if she was awake."I did lie to you, I kept secrets.This has all been my fault.I wanted too much.I didn't deserve your trust but I wanted it anyway.I always thought if you loved me a little and wanted me that would be enough.But after awhile I wanted all of you.But I'm so stupid, I couldn't even do that right, I don't deserve you and I proved that.Everything you said in Brussels was right Trowa.I almost wish you weren't being so nice to me now, it'll hurt so much when you remember and go away again."

Shock overwhelmed him with her words.Could she really think he would leave her now?His fingers crept up to her wrist, stroking the delicate skin of her inner arm tenderly, feeling the excited pulse beat beneath his fingers.Her skin was edged with gold in the dim light and the fire danced in her eyes.In the past it had always come to this and from long habit he leaned forward and kissed her, pushing her back into the pillows when he felt her breath quicken.

It felt like her heart was bursting, warm, happy radiance flowed inside when she felt his lips on hers.Her mouth opened and they tasted each other, she heard him sigh and it sent quivers through her mouth.She started to forget that they needed to talk as his hand found the loose strap of Relena's nightgown, his open palm moving in slow, seductive circles on her skin and her legs trembled as he finally brushed against the loose fabric that covered her breast.

Her arms pulled him closer and he gathered her in the circle of his arms, smelling her warm, sleep-scented skin and his hand closed firmly over the swell of her breast.

"We can go back, this is just how it was," she thought as he laid her flat and covered her body with his."I don't care, I asked too much, this is enough, it has to be enough, even if he never trusts me . . . 

She bit back a cry as his leg jarred her swollen ankle but he felt her tense slightly beneath him and he pulled away abruptly to look at her.Tears sparkled in her eyes but her hand reached out for him, curving around his cheek and pulling him back.He turned his head to press a kiss in her palm an she closed her eyes smiling, but a tear slid beneath her lashes and rolled down onto the pillow.

"Does it hurt," he asked, flipping back the covers and taking her foot into his lap.

"A little," she lied, as pain radiated from the twisted ligaments."It's alright though," she added, leaning forward and sliding her hand up his leg, slowly inching along his inner thigh.

He caught her hand before it reached its goal and pressed it against his chest so she could feel the rapid thumping of his heart.

"Midii, it's so easy to get carried away but I don't want it to be that way anymore," he said.

Her breath caught and she pulled her hand away from his and rolled over so her back was to him, the movement made her dizzy and her ankle throbbed horrendously and a sob choked her throat.He didn't even want her, so what was he doing here . . . 

When she turned from him it broke his heart and he wanted to leave, ask Heero and Relena to look after her and just go hide somewhere.It was so hard to do this right this time, so easy to go back to how it had been . . . her shoulders shook and he gently but firmly turned her back to face him.

They looked at each other for a long silent second.Let me do this right, Trowa wished silently before leaning forward and wrapping his arms around her tightly, laying his head on her chest over her heart surprising the unhappy girl with his tenderness.

"I want us to be forever this time," he whispered uncertainly."To take things slow and trust each other.No more misunderstandings Midii.You have to tell me everything, I'm ready for this, for us."

Next time on The Price of Redemption . . . Can Midii and Trowa work out there misunderstandings at last?

  
AN:Sometimes I feel like my fics are all just giant songfics ^_^If you remember POR opened with lyrics from Sugar Ray's Every Morning and it seems the fic's gone full circle with lyrics from their new CD.Many of their lyrics are very inspirational to me, their music is so upbeat but the words really make you think and seem very appropriate to Trowa and Midii's relationship. 


	19. Chapter 19

"Redemption's a good word

"Redemption's a good word.It means to buy back doesn't it, and you want to buy back the past so that you can reshape it in a way that'll fit your present."—Susan Howatch, The Wheel of Fortune

The Price of Redemption

Chapter 19

By Midii Une

She felt his hair soft beneath her chin as he clung to her slender waist and pillowed his head on her chest.

Could he really want to hear what she had to say?Was there a way to say it and still be able to meet that piercing green gaze?And could she hear what he had to say, bear the pain that he had faced in this world, because of her . . . 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"OH. MY. GOD."

Duo winced and burrowed into his pillow as Hilde's shriek penetrated his sleep-dazed brain.Giggling and munching sounds invaded the sacred silence of the dead of night and he dared to peek from under his arm at his wife.

Hilde was curled comfortably in an old armchair and was staring avidly at the vidscreen while chomping noisily on an apple.

Duo turned one sleepy eye from the oblivious Hilde to the digital clock on the nightstand.

2:45 a.m.What the hell . . . 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He raised his head to look into her eyes and she was too tired and dazed to hide herself, her true self, from him this time.Trowa could see fear and indecision in the cloudy blue-gray eyes that stared back into his.He caught her face easily in his hands as she tore her gaze from his.

"Don't run from me Midii.Don't be afraid . . . "

The lies and excuses her weary mind had been attempting to conjure up fled at his words and she was left with only the truth to fall back on.

Midii's heart thumped nervously.He would see her, really see her now and the thought of it was more frightening than any danger she had faced in all the years of the war and in the turbulent time after war when peace struggled for its foothold.Once he heard it all there could be no going back.

"I—I don't know where to begin," she stuttered."I don't know what you want."

She felt heat in her cheeks as his eyes seemed to probe down into her soul, her exhaustion leaving her defenseless.

He sighed, he wished she knew that nothing she could say tonight would change his feelings for her.He had made her afraid of him. He wanted to know because he wanted her, because he was ready for her and everything her past had made her. 

"I—"she began again but he shushed her with a kiss.Trowa could feel her holding herself stiffly, catching her breath.His fingers traced the line of her jaw and ran softly along the column of her throat until he felt her relax and breathe again.

"After what happened," Trowa said softly, so quietly that she had to strain to hear,"I thought I hated you."

There was no need to clarify the event he was talking about.Her betrayal, the catalyst of all that was between them.

"Before that I had never felt any strong emotion but what you did hurt so much that I froze you out.I wanted to run as far away from you as I could and after awhile I succeeded.I shut you out, everything about you, the good and the bad, the feel of your hand in mine, your smile.You were the only one who had ever smiled at me, Midii . . . I thought I had forgotten but I just closed myself off to hide the pain."

"I drifted and joined up with another group of mercenaries.I didn't even want to know their names or what they fought for.It was just an opportunity to work, to eat and have somewhere to sleep.And then they came . . . Ralph and Chris."

His voice cracked and Midii felt as if her heart were breaking.This was torture, to hear him pour his pain out like this."It's all my fault, all my fault," her mind whirled endlessly as she stared at him.

"Oh Midii," he continued."That's when I knew that I shouldn't have left you."

"What," she whispered incredulously, disbelief.

"They came and they were like us, so much like us.I saw Chris first and she looked so much like you.I probably scared her, even though I guess she was older than I was.I looked at her, glared at her in that way Heero has is more like it, and I saw you and I still hated you.She started crying and I saw Ralph smile at her and brush away the tears and it clicked."

"Who were these people," Midii asked, feeling his hand close around hers.

"Just two kids, just like us.Their colony was destroyed and he watched out for her, he took her with him Midii.I didn't see it then, most of the time he teased her or ignored her but he always protected her. I was only 12 or 13. God I don't even know how old I am," Trowa said, rolling over to lay beside her on his back with his head cushioned on his folded arms.He stared at the ceiling as if he could see it all again.

"It ripped something open in my heart and I remembered you and suddenly I wished so hard that you were still with me," he confessed.

"Oh Trowa," she whispered, lifting herself on her elbow and looking down at him, her hair falling forward a little.

He took a strand between his fingers and held it to keep her face close above his."You kept moving me Midii, like a piece on a chessboard.You took me away from the trap I was in with the Captain.We were achieving nothing, I see that now, it was inevitable that they would lose and we all would have been destroyed . . . 

"But it was me that did it Trowa," she reminded him, lowering her lids.

"I haven't forgotten," he assured her."And then you did it again.I couldn't stand to be there anymore.Every day there was Chris and Ralph and I couldn't stand it.All I wanted was someone to protect and I felt it so much, the fact that I had no one.They all admired me but I just wanted to be like them.I kept seeing what it would have been like if I hadn't left you there.That's when I left and went to space.Now I see it's like you were always with me. If it wasn't for the memory of you I would have stayed on Earth and forgotten about space but the ghost of what we could have had drove me there and I became a Gundam pilot."

"You really thought of me sometimes," Midii asked wonderingly, letting him pull her down against him.She shut her eyes tiredly as she felt his hand tangle in her hair.

"You slipped away again when I found Cathrine.She was so different than you Midii.After that I'd see blonde hair in a crowd and always look twice but I never thought I could find you again and eventually it was as if I didn't even know what I was looking for."

He laughed suddenly, the sound startling her.

"What," she asked, a tentative smile touching her lips.

"I even think it was you that drew me to Quatre.Now don't laugh, I know it's weird, but when I first saw him stepping out of his Gundam and the sun shone off his hair I trusted him.He reminded me of you and still I trusted him, it was as if I had that day we met to do all over again and I did it the same."

His arm tightened around her."When I saw you in that dark little apartment everything I felt for you clashed with what I'd started feeling for Cathrine, the other pilots had become my friends and when you said you'd still been spying Midii I panicked.You wanted to talk to me then, you tried to tell me the truth but I couldn't hear it.I'm sorry."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Relena twirled a strand of dark gold hair between her fingers as she leaned back against a pile of satin pillows on the chaise lounge in her bedroom. She smiled at Hilde's nearly hyperactive reaction to her news about Midii and Trowa's reunion as she struggled to find a more comfortable position before returning her attention to the vidscreen.

"Where's Heero," Hilde asked.

"Running interference with Sally for Trowa," Relena giggled.Poor Sally, she only wanted what was best and it really wasn't nice to laugh at her.

"I know," Hilde said suddenly, bouncing in front of the screen and mumbling with her mouth full of apple."Let's call Dorothy and Cathrine!!"

"Isn't it rather late," Relena wondered, there were time differences on all the colonies after all and even she had a difficult time keeping straight what time it was on each of them.

"It's never too late for girl talk," Hilde vowed loudly, as the unfortunate Duo pulled the pillow closer around his ears."This is just too romantic for words!! This calls for chocolate and an all-hands get-together."

"Well," Relena hesitated."I suppose Dorothy would like to know and Cathrine wouldn't mind an update . . ."

"You don't need to justify yourself Relena," Hilde scolded."Look I'm already setting up the four-way connection, you can blame it on me."

Dorothy's face contorted into a mask of disbelief as the girls filled her in on the latest dish."No! I refuse to believe it. You are not telling me my maid of honor has a sprained ankle.What have I ever done to deserve friends like all of you," the bride-to-be pouted. "Relena gets pregnant and now this!"

The girls heard Quatre's voice in the background.

"Is everything all right darling?"

"Oh fine! Just fine Quatre," she hissed sarcastically. "You don't want to know.I'll come back to bed in a few minutes," she called, blowing a kiss off screen.

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!Back to bed eh, did we disturb you Dorothy," Hilde smirked.

"I won't even dignify that remark with an answer," Dorothy growled, lifting her chin.

"But are you sure everything's going all right," Cathrine asked, voicing the $64 million question on everyone's mind."I wish I knew what was going on.Wufei hasn't told me anything. Why can't men find out the really important information? That's what I want to know!"

"Relena's right there! She could find out," Hilde suggested, as all three pairs of eyes turned pleadingly on the Vice Foreign Minister.

Relena shook her head slowly."Oh Hilde, girls, I don't think that's a good idea . . ."

"Oh come on!! Please?Just tiptoe down the hall and listen at the door Relena.I'm dying here.I gotta know what they're doing," Hilde begged, an evil grin lighting her face as Duo groaned and rolled over.

"I really don't think I—

Pagan entered Relena's room bearing a large crystal glass of hot milk on a silver tray.

"Releeeeeeeeena! Are you paying attention," Hilde questioned impatiently.

"Err, sorry.Pagan just came in," Relena apologized.

"Ha! Pagan! That's it," Dorothy said.

The elderly butler winced at the sound of Dorothy's voice.His memories of Miss Catalonia's time in the Cinq Kingdom were none too pleasant.No wonder Mr. Heero made it his business to stay clear of the bedroom when Miss Relena was occupied on the video communicator.A quick glance at the machine showed him the three anxious faces of Miss Relena's friends gazing at him thoughtfully. 

"What do you mean Dorothy," Relena asked, reaching for her hot milk and thanking Pagan graciously as she slowly sipped the calming beverage.Pagan had the feeling he should beat a hasty retreat from Miss Relena's boudoir and started backing slowly from the room.

"Why Miss Relena," Dorothy said."Don't play the innocent!You can send Pagan on our little mission of espionage.Midii won't be angry! How could she get mad?It would be like the pot calling the kettle black!"

"I don't know what they could be doing any way," Relena protested, but she signaled Pagan to stay with an elegant hand gesture."Midii's hurt her ankle and she must be exhausted . . ."

"I'd like to see the day I was too exhausted to get it on with a hot guy like Trowa Barton," Hilde giggled unthinkingly."Have I ever told you guys I could fall for that clown?"

"Several times," the others chorused tiredly, wondering exactly what Hilde was on tonight.

"Don't change the subject Relena," Dorothy glared."Just send Pagan along to see what's happening, he could just say he's checking or something."

"Miss Relena," Pagan said, his eyebrows rising in startled surprise."I don't think . . .

"You know," Dorothy said contemplatively."Rasid never hesitates when Quatre asks him to do something.Loyalty like that is certainly hard to find."

She stared at Pagan from the vidscreen and the faithful Peacecraft servant bristled angrily.

Was Miss Dorothy saying that that wild-haired barbarian was more loyal than he?It was inconceivable!! Hadn't he served the Peacecraft family for more than 50 years? Hadn't he brought Queen Katerina hot milk just like this every night when she was expecting Prince Milliardo and Princess Relena? 

"Injustice," Pagan thought angrily to himself.Out loud he said, "Miss Relena, I'll just go check and see if Mr. Trowa and Miss Midii need anything."

As the elderly man left the room the four girls giggled uncontrollably.

"Oooooooooh! I wonder what he'll find out," Hilde gasped.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Midii rolled off Trowa's shoulder and lay back tiredly on the feather pillows.She frowned, the damn bed was so soft she could hardly move in it.Hadn't Heero and Relena ever heard the wisdom about firm mattresses?Still, it was reather heavenly to be here in this room where everything was so warm and safe after the icy cold terror.It all seemed so far away.All she needed now was Trowa's forgiveness.But he hadn't really forgiven her yet.He hadn't heard her confession.

Trowa wondered what was going on in Midii's head.She looked like she was just going to curl up and go back to sleep.

She peered at him beneath her lashes and saw him watching her expectantly but she kept her eyes closed.Of course what he had told her had been a story without reproach in her eyes.She had deserved to be left behind after what she'd done, she had even wanted to die.She remembered the terrible anxiety and indecision until suddenly the attack was on them and there was nothing she could do to stop it.But at least Nanashi was safe, he had the cross, the cross meant to protect her . . . 

Trowa shook his head in disbelief as he noticed Midii shiver beneath the pile of blankets.It was almost as hot as a sauna in here, how could she still be cold?Women were certainly a mystery.He unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it aside before pulling the snug white T-shirt over his head and brushing his hair back into place.She made a little contented sound as he crawled under the blankets and pulled her against him, rubbing her cheek against the smooth skin of his chest, tight over hard muscles.

"Go to sleep Midii," he whispered. "I shouldn't have started this tonight . . . 

Her eyes fluttered open."No, I have to tell you, or I might never be brave enough again," she said.She moved against him and he felt her arms tighten convulsively around his waist.

"I love you," he said, suddenly certain of that elusive fact."No matter what Midii."

She shook her head."Not yet," she said, terrified that her story of lost hope and abandoned virtue might still be enough to close his heart against her again.

As she gathered her courage to speak a soft knock on the door startled both of them. It seemed like they were alone in the world instead of in a house inhabited by their friends.

The door opened and Relena's faithful servant poked his head in.

"I came to inquire if Miss Midii needs anything," Pagan said, studying the floor and wondering how he'd let Miss Dorothy provoke him into this.The awkwardness of the situation was thick enough to cut with a knife.The two young people were obviously having an important heart-to-heart talk.He smiled benevolently at the pale young girl on the bed.It was good to see that the horrors of that terrible war, everything that had started with the horrible assassination of Miss Relena's parents was finally being erased and people were finding happiness with each other again.Still, he couldn't help thinking to himself that Miss Midii looked definitely in need of a glass of hot milk.The little girl was definitely too thin and pale and she had been out in that cold so long Mr. Heero had said.

Midii gave the glass of hot milk a questionable look but she was determined to drink it.That nice old Pagan had been sweet to want to bring it to her and it helped stall the moment when she would have to tell Trowa everything.She couldn't help thinking though that a generous glass of brandy would have been more fortifying on this occasion.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"They were in bed drinking hot milk??!?!?Bleah!"

Hilde wrinkled her cute little nose in disappointment at the uninteresting results of Pagan's spy mission.Her facial contortions made the other girls start laughing at her silly antics.Even Dorothy was somewhat amused.

"I think you're overtired," Cathrine said finally, as their laughter died down."What time is it there anyway?"

Hilde looked towards the clock but a dark figure blocked the way.The slender, dark-haired girl gulped.

"Heh, heh," she laughed weakly as her cornflower blue eyes met a sparking pair of violet ones."I gotta go girls.Keep me updated on the lovebirds, okay?"

Before Relena could promise, Hilde's connection blanked out.

"How rude," Dorothy said as she caught a sleepy-eyed Quatre yawning in the doorway and looking at his watch."But, actually, look at the time . . . Relena now you make sure Midii does NOT walk on that ankle!She has to be up and around in time for my wedding! Ciao ladies."

Cathrine promised Relena she would stop by in the morning and bring Midii some soup.

"Poor Midii," Relena laughed to herself as she rose from the lounge and headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I could fall for that clown," Duo said in a squeaky voice."Sheesh Hilde, it's 3:30 in the morning and I have to hear you squealing over Trowa?"

"Awww Duo," Hilde protested, stepping out of her jeans and searching for her nightshirt."Just cause I think Trowa's cute doesn't mean anything!!You're my special guy, aren't you?"

"Damn straight," Duo pouted."What's going on out there anyway?I take it from all you girls' squealing that Trouble finally nabbed her man."

"We can only hope," Hilde said."Oh Duo, Relena told me all about it.It was sooo romantic.He kidnapped her from the hospital . . ."

"Whoa! Hospital? Is everybody all right," Duo asked.

"Sure," said Hilde disinterestedly getting back to the heart of the story."Trowa's so sweet, he just swept her off to Heero and Relena's mansion and now I just bet they're kissing and making up."

She sighed heavily before climbing into bed and stared at the ceiling dreamily.

A wicked gleam lit Duo's deep violet eyes.He slid out of bed and crept to the foot of the mattress.

"Duo?"

"Grarrrrr," Duo yelled, leaping up and pouncing on his petite wife like a cat on a mouse. He grabbed her slender wrists in one hand and pulled them up over her head.

"Duo, no!! I wanna go to sleep," Hilde protested weakly, struggling against his iron grip.

"I wanted to go to sleep around midnight," he said ominously."But someone was on the phone claiming it was 'never too late' for girl-talk."

"Eep," Hilde said.

"Mwahahahahahaha," Duo chortled."Shinigami says it's 'never too late' for tickle torture."

"DUOOOOOO," Hilde shrieked as he tickled her mercilessly until she was breathless.

He collapsed on top of her, nuzzling his face in her neck and nibbling her earlobe.

"Mmmm Duo," she groaned."You're so romantic . . ."

"Damn straight Babe," he said as his hand slipped beneath the soft, well-worn cotton T-shirt she wore to bed."Trowa's got nothing on me."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Next time on The Price of Redemption . . . Diarmid mopes and Midii tells all.


	20. Chapter 20

Now there's no point in placing the blame

_Now there's no point in placing the blame  
And you should know I suffer the same  
If I lose you  
My heart will be broken  
  
Love is a bird, she needs to fly  
Let all the hurt inside of you die  
You're frozen  
When your heart's not open_

_--Frozen, Madonna_

AN:Sorry for the delay!Blame it on vacation, writer's block and a strange phobia for ending this fic -_-;This isn't exactly the end but we're getting there!Thanks for sticking with me^_^Chapter 21 is imminent! If you haven't done so yet don't forget to stop by [The Spy and The Silencer][1] to read Trowa's translated Episode Zero. 

The Price of Redemption

Chapter 20

By Midii Une

It was so cold but snowflakes seemed to melt on her face, the wetness running down her cheeks like tears.

"Nanashi! Wait," she screamed.She watched him walk away and her heart broke in two.The little girl stood alone in the silent woods with death all around her and she knew she had lost the most precious thing in her life.She had made the wrong choice and he would never forgive her.He would never, never love her as she loved him.She had had his trust and thrown it away like so much garbage.

The snow swirled around her as she stood looking after the boy, the delicate flakes changing to heavy wet clumps that slapped against her face.The snow accumulated in deep drifts that wouldn't let her run.But she heard someone behind her, calling her name, getting closer and closer.A bullet rushed past her cheek, so close she could feel the heat and then she was falling, falling endlessly into a cold dark place.It was so cold that her silent tears froze on her cheeks as she huddled breathlessly in the dark.Someone was calling her name.Was it Trowa?Had Nanashi come back to find her and forgive her at last?

Strong arms surrounded her and she clung to him, pressing her face against the cold leather of his jacket.He smelled faintly of citrus and pine from the woods.The sullen gray clouds parted and moonlight flooded the woods, she looked up into his face.

"Ma toute douce," he whispered, dropping a kiss on her forehead."How I loved you.Why did you betray me?"

The moonlight made the woods as bright as day and his golden eyes glittered at her angrily.He pushed her back down into the snow and towered over her, the moon fading behind a cloud again leaving only his eyes visible.

"Midii, you always betray everyone.Especially the ones you love."

He pointed a gun at her heart, she felt the barrel pressed hard against her chest and she closed her eyes. "Richard, no . . . 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Trowa had started to doze himself when Midii flung out an arm and smacked him across the face.

"Midii," he whispered, reaching to turn on the dim bedside light so he could check on her.He put his hand on her head, it was perfectly cool, but when he touched her she arched her back and tossed her head to knock off his hand.Her lips moved but nothing came out.

A nightmare.Pagan's traditional hot milk was better than any sleeping pill it seemed, minutes after she drank it she was sound asleep, no surprise after the day they'd had.In a way Trowa had been relieved.They'd be much better able to face her past tomorrow.

Outside one of the trees that surrounded the vice foreign minister's estate stood shimmering with coated ice under the sliver of moon in the starry sky.The snow had stopped but the tree strained under the heavy unaccustomed weight of its white splendor.A branch broke with a sharp resounding crack that echoed through the clear night.

"Richard! No . . ." Midii screamed, her eyes flying open as she placed her hands over her heart, expecting to feel her own blood wet and warm beneath her fingertips.Trowa pulled her close whispering soothing sounds against her hair as her breathing returned to normal.She looked over his shoulder re-orienting herself to the room, it was warm and safe with dark wood paneling and a small fire crackling in the fireplace. She was far far away from the woods in her dream.But a question nagged at her.Where exactly was Richard?

"Trowa," she croaked and he handed her a glass of ice water.It tasted so good, she drank it quickly as if she'd just finished running a marathon.He took the glass and started asking her the familiar questions to monitor her concussion but she shook her head.

"I need to know," she said, staring at the window as if she expected someone to leap through it at any moment."What happened to Richard. Where is he?"

"He can't hurt you anymore Midii.It's all over.I shot him.He died in the woods," Trowa said comfortingly, surprised when she turned pale and clenched her eyes shut, sudden tears springing from beneath her long black lashes.His long fingers stroked her cheek softly but she turned away and began crying, her shoulders shaking with her sobs.He reached to grab her shoulder and turn her back but a memory stopped him.

_They had been lovers a long time ago, she had said . . . it must have hurt her to betray someone she once cared for . . . he remembered how it hurt when he thought she was betraying them in Brussels . . . he hadn't known what to do . . . _

"I need to ask you something," he said, his voice hesitant."It's been tearing me up inside.Why did Eva Ketto tell me you were sleeping with him?Is that why you're upset?Did you do it because of the mission?"

Midii turned to look at him sadly."You think I slept with Richard and still you're here," she said."I wouldn't do that Trowa.She wanted you to hate me because she though it was my fault Stefan died. I have other methods to get information from a man as you know.I'm a spy not a whore.Yes I slept with him when I was 15.I was scared and alone and he cared for me. He told me what I wanted to hear, that I wasn't unworthy of love and I so desperately wanted to be loved.I changed and he didn't but that girl will always be part of me too and she's wondering why I deserve this chance while Richard and Stefan had to die."

"He was trying to kill you Midii," Trowa said, touching the blonde hair that spread across the pillow. "You don't have to feel this way.It was him or you.He was beyond redemption."

"But he said I betrayed him.He said I betray everyone," she cried.

"I told you I understood.You did it for your family, you didn't have a choice," Trowa patiently reminded her, sliding beneath the covers and curving his body around hers, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close.

The room was silent except for the crackle of the fire and the sound of Midii's tears subsiding."Go back to sleep," Trowa said, reaching for the light. "We'll talk in the morning."

"It isn't true," Midii blurted suddenly, curling up tighter and pulling her knees to her chest."My father was never sick and he didn't use the money to take care of my brothers.I did it for nothing!Betrayed you for nothing, betrayed Richard and Stefan for nothing.I tricked so many people into believing me and taking me in and they died for NOTHING!"

"What do you mean," he asked, and she could feel the fingers that stroked her arm softly go still and his voice was hard.

I knew this would happen, I knew it that night in Brussels, Midii thought sadly.He can never forgive me.

"I think I felt it, looking back," she said."It felt so wrong what I had to do.I didn't want to do it but I went and I hoped something would happen so that I wouldn't have to use the device and then I met you.But I couldn't stop, I was too afraid.I was worried about Papa and my brothers.Sometimes I felt like I hated you, you made it so hard for me to do what I had come to do. But I loved you, so I gave you the cross.When you turned from me and walked away I knew I had made the wrong choice but it was too late. We were supposed to be together but I ruined it.I hurt you so much you can never trust me."

"Why," Trowa asked, firmly turning her until she lay on her back.She wouldn't look at him, she stared at the ceiling but at least he could see her face.

"That night in Brussels I found out.I wanted to die!I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me forever.My father never loved me.He betrayed me, he tricked me into working for the Alliance because of gambling debts.He didn't care what horrible things I did or what happened to me.He never loved me and he made me betray you, and you were the one I really loved."

She felt fresh hot tears roll down her cheeks as the bed dipped and creaked and he got out.She slid her eyes toward him and saw him pick up his shirt from the floor and pull it over his head.Midii flung her arm up over her eyes, she didn't want to see him walk away from her again.

Trowa looked out the window and pressed his forehead against the glass.It was so cool and his skin felt like it was burning. 

Was this it?Midii's confession.Her whole life was based on a horrible lie and she was apologizing to him.He could see everything so clearly now, everything she'd done in the past few months was because of him.Because when it came right down to it she hadn't trusted him to love her.It had never really been about him trusting her at all.She didn't trust him and that was the root of their problems. He thought of his own arrogance in accepting her love that day without giving her in return what she needed the most.

Midii loved him.She had always loved him and he had taken advantage of that.She had protested that they couldn't love without trust but he had insisted and she had given in.She had been uneasy then because she didn't trust him to love her in spite of everything.She thought she'd betrayed them but it was they who had betrayed her. Her father, Ichiban and especially himself. 

The room was so quiet Midii thought she was alone.The worst had happened. She had told the truth and he didn't love her anymore.He had never really loved her of course because she had never had the courage to tell the truth.Maybe there was no real Midii after all, her whole life merely an act as she tried to be what everyone wanted her to be. The only real thing had been her love for Nanashi.He couldn't go this time, he just couldn't.

"I don't care if you trust me or even love me anymore. I just want to be near you," she thought desperately.He was goodness and strength and her only reason to live. She tossed back the heavy comforter and blanket and jumped out of the bed.

Trowa turned from the window when he heard a loud thud shake the floor. Midii was sprawled on the floor, the nightgown strap falling over her shoulder and the skirt up around her thighs.She was trying to push herself up when she looked up and found him looking at her.

"You're still here," she said wonderingly, looking up at him through the long strands of hair that had fallen over her face as her ankle had given way beneath her.Trowa got down on the floor next to her and tilted her face to his.His fingers slid easily over her warm wet skin and he thought he'd do anything if only she'd believe in him. Was this how she had felt when she'd taken Sally's mission?But her mistrust was so subtle, the result of a lifetime of discovering that there was no one she could count on, it might take a lifetime just to prove his love.

A lifetime with her.

They sat there on the floor in breathless silence, neither one knowing what to say. His hand was in her hair, she could feel his fingers moving against her skin, his thumb was smearing the tears on her cheek.

There were no words.Her teary eyes sparkled in the firelight, deep pools of sorrow and pain in her small, pale face.Trowa's thumb moved lower to brush her trembling lips and Midii closed her eyes, leaning her cheek against the hand that was making love to her face with light feathery touches.She felt his breath on her lips and his other hand circling her waist, pulling her closer.He was kissing her, soft comforting kisses.Her lips were salty and sweet beneath his.

She had finally made it out of the woods, a refugee of a war that had attacked her from the inside.

"Let's not waste this chance.We can make the right choice now, Midii. I made you think you couldn't tell me this and maybe you were right.Ever since we met again I've handled this all wrong.The feelings came too fast and we never formed a base of trust for our relationship.I should have listened to you in Provence but you swept me away."

"Trowa, no! Don't blame yourself. How could I expect anyone to trust me after what I did? It was enough that you loved me and wanted to be with me.It was more than I deserved.I've hurt so many people," she protested.

He swept her in his arms, enjoying the look of startled surprise and the lopsided smile his gesture caused.

"I want to know everything about you. We'll start again from the very beginning," he said, an idea forming in his mind.

"Fall in love all over again," Midii whispered, a real smile appearing on her face.

He picked her up and put her back in bed, drawing the covers up, careful not to touch her too intimately.Like strangers, she thought.

"I noticed you at work today," Trowa said, his face completely serious."I was wondering, hoping you would have coffee with me?"

Midii looked a bit skeptical of his game, their day at 'work' had involved a deadly game of chase with her former lover through the frozen woods, but she held out her hand to him.A warm glow spread from their touching hands and she shivered when he drew his hand away lightly trailing his fingers against her palm.

"Can we make it breakfast," she said."I can't remember when I last ate."  
  


"Breakfast in bed isn't a proper first date," Trowa agreed."But I suppose we can break a few rules."

Midii nodded, she was suddenly starving and she noticed that the sky was already fading from black to a grayish-pink at the horizon.

"Tell me about your family," he asked, studying her intently with his emerald eyes as they waited for breakfast to come.

She leaned back against the pillows and looked at the ceiling."You don't have to now," he said, afraid to push too far.

"I want to," she answered softly."It's just so hard."

"I overheard that after my mother died my father became more and more addicted to gambling.You know that where I grew up wasn't far from Monte Carlo and it must have lured him like a magnet.I remember he was often away,I always believed he was visiting the doctor.I stayed with my brothers.Thierry was the youngest and my favorite.He was only a little older than two when I went away.Anyway, I did some research and it seems my father died in Monte Carlo in a fight.I-I guess I didn't earn enough money to pay his debts."

"Before I moved to L3 I looked for my brothers but I couldn't find any trace.The people that knew our family said they had been gone long before my father died.Finally I was able to track down Thierry, he had been adopted. I went to see him but I couldn't knock on their door.They were good people, a regular happy family.I saw him walking home from school, he looked happy, he had friends.And I, well, I was me.I couldn't ruin everything for him so I just left without saying anything.I knew he was better off without me in his life, trouble seemed to follow me.I hadn't gone to school, I couldn't get a job without lying so I just kept on living like I had.Cathy was the first real friend I ever had, I could almost tell her the truth. I did tell her the truth, as best I could."

"She's that way. It's like she wants to be everyone's big sister," Trowa agreed."She was my first real friend too.I went to the circus to hide my identity, I wanted to fade into the woodwork but Cathrine wouldn't have it.She adopted me and her goal in life seemed to be to make me smile.She even saved my life once."

Midii wondered vaguely why no romantic feelings had ever sprung up between the two of them.They complemented each other so well while at times she and Trowa seemed to do nothing but aggravate each other's weaknesses.Will he love the real me, she wondered.

"I've never seen you eat like that," Trowa said, semi-shocked by the way Midii was devouring everything in sight.She threw him a mock scowl and added an extra dab of butter to her croissant. 

"Just pass the strawberry jam and don't criticize," she said sweetly."I can't help it if being happy makes me hungry!"

Their fingers touched as he passed the dainty china jam pot and were surprised when both of them blushed.It really was like starting over, Midii thought.I'm so nervous. She quivered with excitement that made a shiver go down her spine.How strange to have nothing to hide and be free just to love him.So strange to have no guilt to hide behind that she felt almost shy.

"You've got butter on your cheek," she said, breaking the awkward moment.Trowa's heart pounded as she leaned forward and carefully dabbed his cheek with the pale pink linen napkin embroidered with an elaborate Y and the initials H and R surrounding it.

He took the napkin from Midii and waved it at her."Do you think something like this would be a good gift for Quatre's wedding," he asked.

The look on his face was so serious that Midii couldn't help but laugh.She fell back on the pillows and laughed until tears came to her eyes.

"Hey! Watch out, you'll spill everything.I think you hit your head harder than we originally thought," he scolded as he removed the tray.

"S-sorry," she gasped."It's just such a normal, wonderful discussion to be having.What present to get our friends for their wedding.And you! You of all people considering pale pink monogrammed napkins!"

"Well I thought it was a good idea," Trowa insisted."I have to get something special. I'm the best man, if Quatre still wants me. I have to ask his forgiveness too.I almost lost you both.I thought I was doing the right thing for both of you by leaving."

"I missed you and I know Quatre did.I'll be honest Trowa, it broke my heart when I woke up and you weren't there. I thought it meant you didn't care for me anymore," Midii said, the laughter fading from her face as their emotions swung from giddy joy to serious thought from moment to moment."But I understand, I hurt you first and I don't blame you for leaving.And of course Quatre will forgive you, he already has."

"I didn't leave because you hurt me," Trowa confessed."I left because I had hurt you, put you in danger by not trusting you.I thought you'd be better off."

She stared at him as he looked down at the midnight blue blanket, absently brushing the croissant crumbs off and avoiding her eyes.

The mattress dipped and Midii crawled behind him and hugged him close, pressing her cheek against his back."I'm never better without you.I love you," she whispered, feeling his hands close over hers.

"I love you too Midii. So much.When I came back here I just hoped we'd be able to fix things, I never hoped it would be like it was before.I never dreamed it could be better."

She rose on her knees and knelt behind him, he could feel her lips tickling his neck and the soft caress of her breath against his ear.

It felt so right with no secrets between them, only the peaceful silence.Trowa felt Midii yawn and laid her back on the bed.

"We've been up all night," he said, pushing her hair out of her face with both hands as she gazed up at him sleepily."Sally will kill me. You're supposed to be resting."

She patted the rumpled white sheet with her hand."Stay with me.Just hold me please.I want to be close to you."

There were things he should be discussing with Heero and reports to write.But he had new priorities.Top priority would be earning her trust.He crawled beneath the blanket and held her in his arms.She sighed and snuggled closer, the movement of her body spurring erotic memories of past encounters as she slipped her knee between his thighs to get closer.They lay in a comfortable tangle and he felt such an urge to kiss her into oblivion and show her with his body just how much she meant but that had never really worked in the past.They had their whole life ahead of them.It was like building a mobile suit, or building anything for that matter.Before their relationship could go further he had to lay the groundwork.

For now it was enough to hold her while she slept and accept the certain measure of trust that meant.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Next time on The Price of Redemption (or the new POR Lite as I like to call it -_-'). . . Diarmid gets an eyeful . . . Midii has a memorable physical therapy session. . . Trowa has awesome self-control . . . Quatre's sheltered sister Safira looks forward to the wedding (all those Preventers, so little time ^_~)

   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/spysilencer/newmain.html



	21. Chapter 21

The Price of Redemption

AN:Well here's the first chapter of POR Lite, these chapters kind of wrap up the story, tie up the loose ends and have a fairly light and fluffy humorous tone.There still may be a few surprises so keep reading while I let the characters have a well-deserved good time. I hope you enjoy. Some lemon-limey material ahead, beware.

The Price of Redemption

Chapter 21

By Midii Une

Midii sighed in exasperation and shifted in her chair trying to find a more comfortable spot, finally propping her ankle on an open desk drawer.She was so involved in her awkward maneuverings she didn't hear the knock on the door at first.

"Come in," she called."I can't get up."

Rather she didn't want to, though it had been almost a week she hadn't been able to make friends with her crutches.

"Mail for you," the young woman who made the drop-offs said."How's the ankle?"

"Better, thanks," Midii said.

The girl waved a flat oblong box, then held it to her nose, sniffing and making a dreamy sound."This smells absolutely heavenly.Chocolate is my guess," she said.

"Chocolate!"

Midii leaned over and snatched the box.There was a note attached.

_Yes this IS a bribe. Call me NOW!!!_ **~H~**

Hilde. Midii smiled and ripped into her box of chocolates, there was a place on L2 that made the best and the two of them had discovered it on one of their shopping sprees.She offered the box to the mail girl, who helped herself to the candy.

"Ummm, that's good stuff. Thanks," she said.

"Mmm, you bet.Bye Claire," Midii answered, licking some chocolate off her fingertips.The candy had gotten a bit melty during transport apparently but it was still luscious.

She dialed up Hilde.

"Wow you look great!Where are you going," she asked wistfully, feeling rather dowdy in her Preventer uniform complete with stunning Ace bandage accessory.Hilde on the other hand was dressed in a skintight, navy blue leather halter dress. She looked startlingly lovely and the new minimalist makeup style she was experimenting with suited her beautifully, dark liner around her sea blue eyes made them look deep and mysterious while rich red lipstick accentuated the paleness of her skin.

"Duo's taking me out. The junk business has been booming, so I forced the issue.  
You know how he is! He never wants to go out and then I end up having to drag him home because he's having so much fun he doesn't want to leave. I wish you and Trowa were here to come with us.It'd be even better," Hilde said.

"I'm not up for much dancing right now," Midii said, making a face.

"Soooo? Enough small talk," Hilde said."Tell me everything! You made up of course.But how was it?Was it wonderful?Did you make hot, passionate, soul-searing love in Relena's king-size feather bed?Gee, I love when we stay over there.She and Heero've got the best beds."

Midii looked at Hilde warily and picked up another chocolate and bit into it.Yuck, cocoanut, she hated the texture. She set it down and picked up a smooth meltaway mint and popped it in her mouth.Mmmm, much better.It reminded her of Trowa and the way he tasted, the dark bittersweet chocolate and the cool sweet mint ...

'Well," Hilde whined, snapping Midii to attention and out of her chocolate-enhanced fantasy."I can't talk long. Tell me!"

"I don't know what to say Hilde, it's private!But I guess I can say that everything between us is out in the open and we're starting over right from the beginning," Midii said.

"And," Hilde prodded, grinning with approval at her friend's starry-eyed look.

"And . . . Trowa's been an angel," Midii said, beaming happily."He brings me breakfast in bed and …

"…and makes hot passionate love to you 12 hours a day," Hilde supplied.

"Hilde stop it," Midii said, but she couldn't help laughing."I think he felt bad about my not staying in the hospital.He treats me like I'm made of glass. . . 

" . . .a glass he wants to make sweet, savage love to," Hilde asked innocently, her blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

It seemed Miss Hilde had definitely been perusing the titles in the romance aisle again.Sweet, savage love?

Midii glared at the obnoxious pixie she liked to call her friend, usually. "And he defended me when Duo made fun of my technique with the crutches."

Hilde winced."Yeah, I heard that.Was that really Trowa yelling at Duo?He's got quite the vocabulary!"

Midii sighed and blew a stray piece of hair out of her face.

"What's wrong," Hilde asked."I'm sorry, you know I'm just teasing."

"It's not that, but you're making me think that's all," the blonde pouted."I'm starting to worry, he kisses me and holds me but it never goes any farther than that."

"A guy can be _too _gentlemanly I guess," Hilde said."What're you going to do?"

Midii shrugged.

"I hate to bring it up," Hilde said."But you've got another problem -- Diarmid Walker.

". . ."Midii said (or didn't say)

"Midii! He's in love with you. He stayed with us on his last mission and all he did was talk about you with this big goofy grin plastered on his cute little face!!"

Hilde made a face that approximated Diarmid's lovestruck look and Midii groaned.She'd forgotten the kiss in the bar until this very moment; so much had happened that night and they'd barely gotten a chance to wave in the halls since.Trowa was always around and she notice that Diarmid avoided her when Trowa was in sight.

"He kissed me that night Hilde!I feel so bad," she confessed."Why can't men and women ever be just friends?"

"He kissed you? How was it?Is he a good kisser," Hilde demanded, leaning closer to the vidscreen, anxious for details.

Midii blushed. "It was nice, I suppose, I really wasn't paying much attention.It was one of those soft little investigating kisses . . ."

"And did you let him investigate," Hilde asked evilly.

"NO!!!"

"Anyway you can't be friends with a man because men are horny and they want it all the time," Hilde said primly with a saintly expression on her face.

Midii couldn't help but laugh."And we aren't?Tell me the truth Hilde wasn't the real reason you defected from OZ Duo's big violet eyes and that fabulous hair, not his political ideology as you so innocently claim."

"Hey! And who are you to notice Duo's eyes and hair," Hilde bristled indignantly."Aren't you my best friend?You've been checking Duo out!"

"And he's got a nice ass, verrrrrry nice," Midii said with a straight face.

"MIDIIIIIIIIIII!!!"

"Just a little payback Hilde, you see I've already talked to Dorothy.She's been calling constantly for ankle updates and she told me that you're absolutely DROOLING for Trowa."

Now it was Hilde's turn to blush. "Err, I-I was just having fun!!You wouldn't want a guy other girls didn't think was hot would you?"

Midii's vidcom started flashing."I have another call Hilde, can you hold," she asked.

Hilde shook her head."Duo thinks I'm getting ready and he's a bear when I'm late.Doesn't he know it just takes us longer to get ready? Besides we had important things to discuss."

"Okay.Thanks for the chocolate," Midii said."I'll talk to you later.See you soon!"

"Wait," Hilde panted and Midii looked at her impatiently. Her vidcom was flashing frantically.

"As maid of honor I think you should be the one to tell Dorothy she desperately needs a brow wax.You used to work at a salon Midii—"

"Not on your life Hilde!Not even Relena's diplomat enough to bring the brows up with Dorothy.If Quatre likes her with them I guess we don't have any leverage.Gotta run, bye!"

Midii raised her own delicately-shaped brows at the screen."Speak of the devil," she muttered.

Dorothy had left a voice mail, being patient and holding was definitely out of character, and almost reluctantly Midii reached forward to activate the message.

"I've found the answer.I'm so relieved. You don't know the anguish I've been suffering over this," Dorothy's voice announced dramatically."I've sent Dr Payne, the best physical therapist my research could come up with who was willing to take your case.

Can you believe one doctor refused to drop his entire schedule to travel out there and see someone with a 'mere' sprained ankle?Doesn't he understand that there can be NO limping at my wedding," Dorothy's message continued as Midii blinked in disbelief, suspicion dawning.

"Anyway," she went on, her voice very much that of the disinherited Romafeller duchess."I've only just now informed you because I know you Midii and you'd find a way out of this given time.Your appointment is now so it's off to the Preventer medical facility with you.Now shoo, give me no back talk and I believe the facility is in the basement, he'll be waiting for you.Ciao darling, and seriously this is for your own good!"

Dr. _Payne_?Midi shook her head.She didn't need physical therapy and where had Dorothy found a doctor with that particular name?I'm almost better anyway, she said to herself.She stood up and took a step."See, I'm fine," she said out loud.She took another step and then another.Ouch! 

"Damn you Dorothy," she groaned, reaching back desperately for her chair and looking askance at the crutches.They were certainly torture devices.But her ankle was far from 100 percent and Dorothy had obviously gone to a lot of trouble, plus she owed her for making the first gesture of friendship and asking her to be in the wedding.The least she could do was attempt a little cooperation.

"Okay, I'll try it, but if he hurts me Dr. Payne's going to find one of these crutches wrapped around his scrawny little neck," Midii muttered, her imagination conjuring a mad scientist that had the combined good lucks of Dr. J, Professor G, Master O, Instructor H and Doktor S combined.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Meanwhile . . . 

A certain green-eyed Preventer leaned forward on his desk, his nose level with a bottle of pale gold Chardonnay.His special bottle of Chardonnay that was usually kept safe in his desk, hidden away from Midii's prying eyes. It was being saved carefully for that very special occasion, if only he could find the right moment.The moment when he would know that he had done something to make her especially happy.The moment he was certain that she trusted in his love, trusted in him.

Trowa sighed and leaned back in his chair and propped his feet on his desk, stifling a yawn. He hadn't slept well since he'd gotten home.Of course Midii and Cathy's apartment didn't feel quite like home yet even though just being with the two of them was what meant home to him.And the couch he was sleeping on wasn't really very comfortable.They had all given him questioning looks when he set up camp there.But Trowa Barton had embarked on a quest, to win Midii's complete trust.And a good knight on a quest always abstained until the goal was attained, didn't he?

Wufei and Cathy seemed actually nervous about his choice of sleeping arrangements.Cathrine seemed jumpy and Wufei was, well, cranky was the only way to put it.It was as if the two of them had some weird prior claim to the couch or something.Sometimes Trowa could feel Wufei's coal black eyes staring holes into his back when he thought he wasn't paying attention.It was really odd.Did they think he was doing the wrong thing by taking his and Midii's new relationship slowly?It was still such a novel idea that Cathrine and Wufei were a couple at all that it was difficult to even ponder what the two of them could be thinking.

He needed to talk to someone about his problem and he ticked off the possibilities on his fingers.

Heero?Did anyone ever really talk to Heero about personal things? Scratch that choice, although he was the closest at hand and involved in a fairly stable relationship and he did have what could only be called an unlikely tolerance for Midii.Okay, Heero was a definite maybe, maybe when hell froze over.He'd have sunk very low indeed if he went back to Heero Yuy for emotional advice.Once had certainly been enough.

Duo?No.Simply, absolutely, no.Duo would be yowling like a hyena if he mentioned Midii and abstinence in the same sentence and he, Trowa, would never live it down.He actually shuddered.No.

Wufei?He had the feeling that Wufei somehow _wanted_ him sleeping in Midii's bed but he still hadn't figure out why.So it was no on Wufei as well.Too biased.

Leaving only Quatre.Easy, just call Quatre and ask how many dates he had taken Dorothy on before he felt it was gentlemanly to have sex with her, how many nights tossing on a too-small couch when he knew she was curled up in bed in the next room and he didn't know how long he could stand it . .sure, it would be easy … call Quatre. 

Quatre stared and stuttered when the question was posed. He blinked several times.

"But Trowa, haven't you two already? Well, I mean, you, umm, mentioned it once," the blonde said, embarrassment choking his voice and a sudden urge to laugh making it even more difficult to speak. The complete seriousness on Trowa's face helped him keep his hilarity under control though.

"I have to prove myself to her before things get umm, intimate, again," Trowa said.

"Prove yourself," Quatre repeated, his voice cracking a bit.When Midii and Trowa started proving themselves to each other bad things had always happened, at least in his experience.The fading scar on his arm gave a very definite twinge.

"You're not going to do something dangerous are you," he said, trying to glare at Trowa in a poor imitation of Heero.

"Dangerous?What makes you think that," Trowa asked, surprised by Quatre's reaction.

"Oh nothing," Quatre said sarcastically."It's just that when Midii tried to prove herself to you the city of Brussels nearly got blown off the map and all of us with it."

"Oh," Trowa said."Midii's a bit extreme.This is nothing like that, I just want to find something that will make her happy and show her I care about her.I know she loves me but she's told me things and I know that deep down she feels that she can't count on me.She's afraid I'll turn on her at the drop of a hat."

"I see," Quatre said thoughtfully. He could help here, definitely.When it came to kind gestures he was the master."Think of something she's told you that's making her sad and do your best to fix it.She'll know how much you care."

"Hmmm," Trowa said.

"By the way, have you met Dr. Payne?Has he seen Midii yet?Dorothy is very anxious that everything's perfect for the wedding," Quatre said.Trowa noticed that his friend looked rather harried and a bit ragged around the edges.

"What are you talking about," Trowa asked.

"Dorothy sent a physical therapist to ensure that Midii's ankle is healed in time for the wedding, it's just around the corner," Quatre prompted his clueless friend.

"She what?!?"

"I thought it was a very sweet of Dorothy to think of it Trowa," Quatre argued."We all want what's best for Midii."

"I suppose," Trowa said uncertainly, something uncomfortable flickering inside him that he couldn't put a finger on."What's he going to do to her anyway?  
  


"Something to do with close-contact massage and orbital manipulation I believe," Quatre said innocently.

Trowa's face darkened, a muscle in is his jaw twitched.

"Uh, Trowa?"

"Talk to you later.I need to have a little conference with Dorothy's Dr. Payne before he lays a finger on Midii!"

Trowa took off without bothering to terminate the connection and Quatre was left staring at the crazy revolution of Trowa's desk chair.He'd left so quickly the chair was spinning madly in his wake. Quatre really tried to control himself for a moment before raising his hand to his mouth to ward off a chuckle.The hand didn't help.Soon he was laughing helplessly, trying to catch his breath and pounding on the desk with his fists.

Trowa . . . in . . . love . . . was . . . .so . . . so . . . funny!

Rasid passed by the open office door and hearing the odd noises peeked in the office.Then he kept right on walking.It wasn't wise to disturb Master Quatre when he was laughing like that . . . .

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The bandage on his shoulder itched crazily.Diarmid cautiously moved his arm and the movement helped relieve the constriction caused by the wrappings but also sent a jolt of pain through the angry wound.It felt stiff when he didn't move it and it hurt like hell when he did, a double-edged sword.

He'd do it all again though to have back those moments in the woods with her, when she had needed him and held onto him for dear life.

And then you blew it all by playing Mr. Happy Hearts, he muttered to himself.His big chance to gain Midii's affection and gratitude for saving her and he'd thrown the ball to Trowa Barton.Sure it was the so-called right thing to do but in hindsight he should've just let the guy make the big mistake and walk away from her.So now here he was, he'd taken a bullet for her, frozen his ass off in those woods and looked into the crazed face of death and she was even farther out of reach than ever.

He could almost cry.The whole headquarters was buzzing with Trowa's transformation.Next thing you knew he'd be playing a guitar below Midii's office window while rose petals and sparkles magically fell from the sky!Basically Diarmid was pouting, he knew it, hated himself for it, but he couldn't help it.

"I have to go see her and talk to her," he said out loud, garnering himself a weird look from his office mates.If he didn't do it soon he knew he'd never get up the nerve again, not with Trowa Barton lurking around all the time.Still Trowa had his own work to do and he couldn't be in Midii's office all the time.Could he?Diarmid decided now would be a good time to go and see.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The basement was like any other basement, quiet and lonely and echoing with creepy silence.When Midii reached the health facility the receptionist was just leaving.

"Oh good you're here," she said."We kept the offices open for you and Dr. Payne.He's in the therapy room and you two can have the place as long as you want it."

"You're not leaving," Midii said, slightly panicked.There'll be no one to hear you scream, she thought semi-seriously.She dreaded this appointment, not wanting a stranger touching her poor tender ankle.

The receptionist stifled an amused smile. Why was it Preventers made the worst patients? She dashed out while Midii stared uneasily at the door. She'd been through much worse of course, but that was different than voluntarily going to see someone who was probably going to make her endure painful procedures!

The door stood ajar and the room looked eerily dim, the light flickering strangely.Midii gulped and squared her shoulders, making her way awkwardly on her crutches and peering into the room.It seemed empty.

"Good! He didn't wait," a self-congratulatory grin appeared on her face as she tossed her hair back over her shoulder and turned to make her escape.A hand reached out from behind the door and circled her wrist.Startled, Midii whirled, aiming her crutch where it would hurt a man the most.

"It's me," Trowa said, dodging her blow.

"Trowa!You surprised me," Midii said, putting her hand on her heart as if it would stop the pounding.She dropped her crutch in the process and lost her balance.Trowa grabbed her around the waist and steadied her, planting a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"Where's the doctor," Midii asked, looking around the room as he pulled her in.It was dim and quiet, a few small candles flickered in the corners of the room and there was soothing music playing very quietly in the background.

"I didn't like him," Trowa said shortly, lifting her onto the edge of the therapy table and bending down to remove the Ace bandage from her ankle. "But I did get his notes."

"I see," Midii purred, deciding she liked this turn of events.

"This is going to hurt a little," he said, glancing at the paper and testing the swelling around her ligaments with careful pressure from his fingers.

"Rate the pain on a scale of 1-10," he asked a little uncertainly.

"Three or four," Midii said, but she was biting her lip a little.

He pressed harder.

"Owww," she groaned, tears springing to her eyes.

"Sorry," Trowa said, leaning closer and kissing the angry, swollen ankle.

"All better," she said, smiling weakly.

"We'll just try 10 exercises today then and maybe a little at bedtime," he said.

She giggled. "You sound so professional!"

He smiled at her and told her how to push her foot against his hand as hard as she could.The notes were fairly simple but there was no way he had been going to let that doctor get in this position with Midii.From where he knelt on the floor he could see right up her skirt to a tantalizing shimmer of blue satin panties edged with black lace.

"Take a break," he said, pushing her gently back down on the table until she was lying flat, enjoying the highlights the candlelight brought out in her hair. 

_Make the patient comfortable and massage the surrounding area . . . _

_ _

No way in hell was that guy massaging _any_ of Midii's areas.Fortunately it had taken not much more than a glare to scare the infamous Dr. Payne away , Trowa thought smugly.His hands lingered on her satin-smooth skin.She was always so soft and smelled so good, it made him forget that he wanted to wait until just the right moment to make love to her again.The 'surrounding area' got bigger and bigger as his hands explored both her legs, sliding up her calves as she sighed softly in approval.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She must be down here somewhere.The secretary on her floor had said she had come down for a therapy appointment on her ankle.

Diarmid looked around uneasily.The place seemed deserted and even the receptionist had gone home.It was well after 6 and the second shift was much smaller than the full complement of Preventers that worked days.

He heard a soft sound coming from one of the closed doors, but it was as dark in the room as all the others seemed to be.Diarmid went up to the small square window and looked in.

"Christ," he muttered.

She looked like she was all alone as she lay flat on the therapy table in the soft candlelight that surrounded her like something out of a dream.Her arms were stretched over her head and her hair spilled over the edge of the table in warm, golden waves, the light making it glimmer magically.The black Preventer uniform skirt she wore had ridden up her thighs exposing most of her long, slender legs.She looked like a beautiful pagan sacrifice and something primitive made him wish he was the god coming to devour her.

Diarmid felt a little light-headed, his mind instantly transporting him inside with her and he was kissing those soft lips again and tangling his hands in her hair.

A figure rose up from the darkness at the end of the table, planting kisses on the inside of her thighs and Diarmid could hear her gasp of delighted surprise.

Trowa. Damn.

Diarmid walked away shakily, face bright red.The girl was going to drive him either insane or to an early grave.

He heard the echo of Duo's voice.

"Trouble."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Midii raised herself on her elbows to look at Trowa.All she could see were his sheltering bangs as he bent over her ankle, his hands straying upward with every stroke, a little farther each time until they teased gently at the hem of her skirt."Are you done," she asked a bit breathlessly, reaching to pull him closer.

Trowa cleared his throat and glanced at the doctor's orders.His throat felt thick and it was suddenly so warm in the dim little room.

_Have the patient disrobe and immerse in whirlpool bath.110 degrees Fahrenheit for best results._

_ _

He pushed her back on the table and stretched her arms out, his fingers twining with hers.She arched towards him, part instinctively, part flirtatiously.Her lips were parted and she peeked yearningly from beneath her lashes.

"Trowa," she whimpered.

He allowed himself a quick, unsatisfactory kiss, barely applying pressure to the soft pink lips that sought his hungrily.He was met with a curious scowl when he pulled away and glanced back at the notes.

_Have the patient disrobe. . ._

_ _

He leaned forward again, hearing her laugh softly in her throat as his bangs brushed her skin."We're not quite finished," he said, finding his voice, his fingers finding the small white buttons of her prim blouse.He eased each one from its buttonhole as he felt her small foot travel teasingly along his calf as he knelt above her.

The bra she wore was made of the same shimmering soft blue material edged with black lace as her panties, it contrasted dramatically with her pale winter-white skin.A pulsebeat throbbed quickly in her throat and he leaned closer, cupping the smooth fabric and gently squeezing the familiar softness it contained.He kissed her again, letting her lips cling to his and meeting her tongue with his as her mouth opened beneath the pressure.She twined an arm around his neck and pulled him closer.Midii's fingers made quick work of his buttons and pushed his shirt back over his arms, caressing the smooth skin over his shoulders.He squeezed her breast harder, feeling the nipple harden through the satiny covering.

Midii sighed contentedly and pulled him down on top of her, wriggling beneath him until she could feel his erection between her legs.

"Trowa," she whispered pleadingly.He disentangled himself from her grip and she rose back up on her elbows and watched him through messy strands of pale hair as he removed his shirt and pulled the t-shirt over his head.She admired the play of muscles in his perfectly sculptured chest, her fingers aching to feel the hot smooth skin and her body longing to be crushed beneath his weight.He was stepping out of his black pants now, clad only in a pair of forest green boxers that did nothing to hide his obvious reciprocal feelings.

She was looking at him, her cheeks flushed pink and her lips swollen from kissing.The black lace bra straps had fallen down her shoulders exposing the creamy expanse of her chest and long throat to his eyes right down to the barest peek of crumpled pink skin that surrounded her nipples.He slid his hand up her left leg and found the zipper in her skirt with the other, sliding it down with excruciating care and sliding off the black skirt, tossing it onto the pile with is pants and shirt.Trowa took Midii's hands and pulled her to a sitting position, pulling her against his chest and kissing her.His tongue flicking at the corners of her mouth and teasing her as she tried to capture him for a deeper kiss.He eased the blouse off her arms and tossed it on the growing pile on the floor, circling her slender waist with his hands and holding her close.Small, deft fingers were slipping under the leg of his boxers and brushing against him now and he jumped suddenly.

Her smile was positively wicked as he struggled to exert his self-control.Not yet, not here like this.

"We're getting a little off track," he said, his voice hoarse.

"Trowaaaa," Midii groaned dramatically, falling back on the table, her hair poofing up around her like a pale golden cloud for a second before settling back in place.

"Come on," he said, picking her up.She snuggled closer until he started walking toward the door. 

"What are you doing," she squeaked, struggling to get down."What if someone's out there?"

Trowa tightened his grip on his squirming bundle of trouble and leaned down to touch his nose to hers.

"Whirlpool therapy.And there's no one here.It's all closed up for the night," he explained.

Midii made a face.

"If we're all alone, why can't we stay here," she pouted, pressing her face close to his and nibbling rather sharply on his earlobe.

"Ouch," he said."Maybe next time I should let Dr. Payne keep his appointment."

"You wouldn't do that!You're jealous," she said pertly sticking out her tongue and making herself comfortable in his arms.

"I won't let anyone hurt you again, if I can help it," Trowa said, pushing open the door and carrying her to the spa room.

"I love you," she said, snuggling closer."You're being so wonderful to me."

"I want to show you that I'm going to always be here when you need me Midii," he explained."I want you to believe in that."They looked into each other's eyes, the strangeness still there as they easily saw straight through into each other's hearts, no barriers of guilt and distrust blocking the way.

Trowa broke the silence and pressed the button to start the whirlpool.Steam rose in wispy strands around the room and Midii's hair curled slightly in the humidity."Ready to get in," he asked.

"It looks hot," she said warily.

"110 degrees Fahrenheit for best results," Trowa quoted Dr. Payne.

"110 degrees?" Midii squealed."I'll turn out like something from Cathy's soup!"

"I'll get in with you," he said, stepping into the water.

"Ummm, that is good," Midii said, settling into the steaming hot water as it swirled about her."It's better than a bubble bath.I wish I had some bubbles with me!"

She snuggled next to Trowa, fitting herself into the curve of his arm and wondering how or if she should ask the question that was plaguing her mind.Was he afraid of hurting her?Was he unsure about the two of them?Was there some other reason she couldn't conceive of why he wouldn't make love to her?

He stayed in bed with her and cuddled every night but things never got out of hand and he always left after she fell asleep to spend the night on the couch.

That must really be burning Wufei and Cathy, she smirked.Then she sighed, what on Earth could be wrong?

He seemed to read her mind.

"What's wrong?Is the water too hot," Trowa asked, looking down on her.Her skin was rosy and glistened damply, her hair clung to her moist skin in spots.

"That's what I wanted to ask you," she said, taking his opening."Trowa? Why can't we be together like we were?"

"Oh Midii," he said, pulling her up on his lap and holding her close."I didn't even think to explain."

He cupped her cheek and pulled her close, kissing her passionately, leaving her breathless.He nuzzled her neck as his hands slid over her slick body in the turbulent water, their bodies making little sucking, wet sounds as they moved together, kissing and exploring.

"I love you, I want you so much," he whispered in her ear, feeling her shiver."I just don't want to make the same mistakes again.When we're together again I want it to be special. Soon, I promise you."

"Very soon.Promise," she groaned as he closed his mouth over hers again.He had come up with a plan at last, he could picture her happiness.He knew it would work and then the circle would be complete, if only he could hold out.His stomach was tightening and he ached with pent-up desire.If he didn't get her out of here and into some clothes right now all his restraint would be for nothing.

He helped her out of the tub and wrapped her in a terry cloth robe that was hanging on the back of the door.The huge robe enveloped her small frame, making her look fragile and delicate.She smiled at him as he dripped haphazardly around the room looking for a towel.

"What next," she asked

Trowa glanced at his notes.

"Ice pack," he said, fishing the last one out of the little freezer and wrapping it on her ankle.He wished he had an extra ice pack, he knew just where he would put it.Maybe he didn't have to wait, he thought hopefully. Maybe she already believed. . . .

"Happy," he asked casually.

She nodded."Oh Trowa it's wonderful.I'm so happy that it's like a dream.I'm only afraid I'll wake up too soon!"

She wasn't ready.She didn't believe.Not yet.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Safira Winner stared into her compact mirror, her aquamarine eyes sparkling like jewels in her excitement to be free of her smothering sisters.She pouted, her soft pink lower lip sticking out a bit, then she smiled and puckered her lips, making a kissy-face at herself as she examined her looks in the little mirror.

Her hair was the same color as father's but it had mother's length and texture.The long loose ringlets of sun-streaked brown framed a pretty round face with perfect ivory skin tinged with pink on her dainty cheekbones.Lush dark brown lashes framed her eyes, which were the same shade as her younger brother's.They were only six months apart in age.Safira had been the last of the Winner daughters and shortly after she was conceived her parents had decided to take the plunge and try natural childbirth.

She snapped the compact shut and leaned back in the shuttle seat, her pretty face momentarily shadowed with sadness.Like Quatre she had never known her mother and in the excitement over the birth of the heir she had been all but forgotten by Father.Her sisters had treated her like a little doll though and she had grown up sheltered and pampered while Quatre had traveled the world and lived the exciting life of a Gundam pilot.

Now her little brother was getting married and she'd hardly been out of the house!It was truly unfair.But Safira was cheerful by nature, and bore her brother no ill will.She only wanted to get out and live.And volunteering to help his fiancée put the last touches on the wedding plans was the perfect excuse.

Of course they had no idea she was coming.She'd left a terse note on her oldest sister Yasmina's pillow and set out on her grand adventure.Something was waiting for her out there, her romantically-inclined heart knew it.Maybe it was love?She shivered pleasurably.Her brother would have lots of friends at his wedding.All of them handsome, heroic Preventers just dying to sweep a rich, pretty girl like herself off her feet.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Next time on POR Lite ^_~ . . . the wedding day approaches . . . Trowa uncorks the wine . . . Safira lives it up.


	22. Chapter 22

AN: A thousand apologies for the delay on this story, we all went through a bad time in September and I lost my thread of thought on this story. Several weeks ago I again wrote some chapters but the editing took longer than expected! Thanks to Little Green for giving this chapter a test read and encouraging me to go on, as well as all the rest of you who've written in encouragement, it was much needed!! Since this was supposed to come out immediately after Chapter 21 it is again mostly a light-hearted, slice of life chapter. I'm sure you expected more action after the long wait, but Chapter 23 is almost done and is definitely more climactic. Please enjoy and stay tuned!  
  
The Price of Redemption  
Chapter 22  
  
By Midii Une  
  
Safira Winner laid her head wistfully on her folded arms, supported by the wide, white-painted windowsill as the limos pulled up. After a few embarrassing and awkward moments she had managed to find herself a comfortable niche in her brother's house.  
  
Which sister are you again, Quatre had asked when she arrived, somehow managing to look mystified and apologetic at the same time. Then grouchy old Yasmina had called and demanded she return home immediately. There had been a few tense moments but luckily her 'little' brother was very susceptible to tears and Safira had stayed.  
  
Yet life still hadn't found her. It was nearly as uneventful here as it had been at home with her sisters. But at least now her brother's friends were finally arriving. And only two of them were married! The others had girlfriends, Dorothy had said. But at least with them, Safira had told herself silently, a girl could hope!  
  
At last Dorothy's gold limo pulled up in the circular drive, followed by Quatre's more sedate black version. Safira's turquoise eyes widened as a young man stepped out of the first car. He was a bit shorter than Quatre but had a perfectly toned, compact body that looked as if it had been carved from marble by an Old World master. That had been a chapter of Art History where she had certainly paid close attention.   
  
Tousled dark brown hair framed his face perfectly, the unruly waves tempting her to run her fingers through them. He scanned the area with precision, narrowing his amazing blue eyes when he saw her in the window and noting her presence as non-threatening before moving on. Only when he was satisfied that all was clear did he reach a hand back into the limo to help out a young woman. She glowed with happiness as she stepped onto the circular drive, her cheeks were pink and her eyes sparkled. She rested the hand that wore a shining gold wedding band on her pregnant stomach and leaned to kiss the cheek of the dark, handsome soldier.  
  
A sick jolt of disappointment made Safira's heart drop. Of course he had to be one of the married ones!  
  
But she was like her brother, innately cheerful and she was quickly distracted as a second young man bounced from the car. He took a long drink from the soda can he held and set it up on top of the car, stretching his arms above his head and yawning. He leaned forward against the open door and worked the kinks from his back treating his secret audience to a rather complete view of his slender, muscular frame. A braid of chocolate brown hair gleamed in the artificial light and his voice washed over her sending tingles up her spine with its deep, sexy tones.   
  
Oh please dear Allah, surely this one had to be single?  
  
"OUCH!"  
  
The godlike young man yelped like an outraged child as a small hand reached from inside the car and pinched him hard on the backside. Safira blushed as he reached behind him to rub the sore place and she heard obscenities she had only seen in printed words and never heard aloud.  
  
"Shit Mrs. Maxwell!! What's eating you?"  
  
Mrs. Maxwell shoved her husband out of her way with two hands and hopped out of the car with a quick, graceful movement.  
  
"You're not the only one who's tired of sitting," she scolded, tugging on that luxurious braid of hair and not seeming the least bit impressed. The little dark-haired girl turned her back on her husband and darted up the stairs behind Relena Yuy to greet Quatre and his fiancée. The young man made a face behind his wife's back and lazily ambled up the steps after her.  
  
He was married too? Safira took a step or two back behind the sheer rose curtain and watched the door of the black limo expectantly. Abdul looked up at her window and waved at her and she couldn't help but smile. The Maganacs certainly spoiled her, treating her with the same loyal affection they did her brother and even Dorothy.  
  
Abdul opened the door with a flourish and a tall girl with curly red-brown hair stepped out. She was as lithe as a dancer and the cheerful smile on her face made Safira's own smile widen in spite of herself. It was contagious. The girl bent over, affording the lucky Abdul with a particularly good look down the low-cut sweater she wore as she coaxed someone inside the limo to come out.  
  
Finally a slender, dark-haired Chinese man stepped out of the limo, flipping down his sunglasses against the brightness. Silky black strands teased his face, artistically escaping his ponytail, as he slouched uncomfortably in a pair of black pants and a loose white shirt with a narrow black tie.  
  
"Doesn't he look wonderful," the girl loudly asked the group on the stairs, clinging to his arm. "Midii and I dressed him."  
  
There was a deadly silent pause as the girl's unthinking words sank in, then Safira heard raucous laughter and shrill catcalls that could only be originating from the man with the braid.  
  
"Shut up Maxwell," the Chinese man growled, but he put an arm around the red-haired girl's slender shoulder as she leaned over and kissed his cheek and murmured soft words of apology for her verbal faux pas. The braided man on the steps rubbed his eyes and then pretended to faint. The newcomers stepped over his prone body and ignored his antics.  
  
Quatre himself jogged down the steps, the watery sunlight gleaming off his platinum blonde hair as a tall man stepped out of the limo. Like Duo, he also stretched, but he had the grace of a panther. He bent his head toward his shorter friend and held out his hand. Quatre took it and they shook vigorously, keeping the contact of hand in hand longer than Safira expected and talking seriously in low tones.  
  
Quatre smiled his sunny smile, it lit his whole face and finally the other man raised his head and smiled a little too. They pulled each other into a fierce hug before Quatre leaned into the car, reaching in a hand and pulling out a small blonde girl. She looked shorter than Safira herself. The girl pushed impatiently at the bright gold waves of hair framing her face and kissed Quatre familiarly on the cheek with all the ease of a loved sister. The tall man tugged at her hair playfully and his smile grew so tender when she looked up at him that it made Safira's heart hurt to look at it.   
  
"Dorothy! Look, no limp," the blonde girl called out, spinning slightly on her toes so her thin flowered dress circled out around her.  
  
"I knew Dr. Payne would be a great success," Dorothy answered, keeping her dignity and sedately descending the stairs. The tall man and the girl looked at each other and laughed, their eyes sparkling with a shared secret. The girl looped her arm around his waist and they followed Quatre and Dorothy into the house.  
  
It seemed life had already passed her by, Safira thought desolately. Her brother had love and friends and she was so lonely. Dorothy was rather frightening and barely tolerated her. And though Quatre was the sweetest brother alive he did seem rather bewildered whenever he noticed her in the hall. She wanted a good relationship with him, easy affection like he had with that girl.   
  
As if he felt her sadness, Quatre looked up at his sister's window and smiled.   
  
"We have another guest," he told everyone. "My sister Safira has come to help Dorothy with the wedding."  
  
As they went in to meet Quatre's sister Midii felt a bit uncomfortable, the one sister she had already met had taken an instant dislike to her. Of course that had been because Yasmina had been one of the first to suspect that she, or rather Isabela Niente, was up to no good. Did all the Winners have such uncanny instincts?  
  
All the girls felt a bit uneasy in the face of Safira's pretty, angelic innocence as she came down to meet them all. She was a lovely young woman with pre-Raphaelite ringlets of tawny golden-brown hair that made a perfect frame for her shimmering aquamarine eyes. Her modest rose-colored dress with its frothy skirt enhanced her innocent, sheltered look and had all of them wishing they could be like her. How wonderful it would be to be sweet and untouched and totally oblivious to the horrors of war, pain and loss. Even Relena and Cathrine felt a bit jaded beside her and the girls who had actually been active in the war, Midii, Hilde and Dorothy, felt positively wicked.  
  
Duo broke the tension and made Safira blush by planting an extravagant kiss on her soft cheek. "Nice to meet ya babe," he announced, reminding the rest of their manners.  
  
The formalities over, Duo looped an arm around Quatre's neck and whispered in his ear as they all trooped into the hall.  
  
"How's the secret project? Has it been completed?"  
  
Quatre nodded mysteriously and the girls looked at each other wondering what the hell they were talking about. Dorothy shrugged as the other girl's telegraphed their unspoken question to her with looks and discreet coughs. She was rather irritated that she had no idea what the 'secret project' could be.  
  
"You mean it's done? Hallelujah!" Duo yelled. "Now you'll see, hee hee there'll be some ass-kicking tonight."  
  
"Excuse us ladies, we have something to look into," Heero said, restraining a competitive smirk behind his usual inscrutable façade and loosening his grip on Relena's hand.  
  
"Heero? A mission?" Relena's soft voice was tinged with worry.  
  
Heero looked grim, his eyes were cold and determined. "This won't take long. . .  
  
"We're coming with you," Dorothy and Hilde chorused determined to keep their men out of trouble.  
  
"There's nothing to worry about," Wufei told Cathrine, "I'll be there to make sure they play by the rules."  
  
They all trooped into the elevator, the girls looking nervous as it plummeted down farther and farther until it was several levels below the normal basement. What was it? Some secret weapon, new Gundams perhaps, a new crisis?  
  
The doors opened and Duo scurried out, pushing everyone out of the way.   
  
"You really did it! Wow look at that monitor, awesome!"  
  
His voice echoed in a vast dark space and the girls peered around the corner as the pilots disappeared. An annoying sound, one the girls couldn't immediately place, and consisting of squeaking and skidding filled the space and bright lights filled the room, shimmering on the gleaming, newly painted ivory walls and polished natural wood floor.  
  
"A ballroom," Safira gasped, closing her eyes and picturing herself in a beautiful dress in the arms of a handsome soldier who seemed to be a conglomerate of all Quatre's friends. She giggled and blushed as the one with the braid grabbed her around the waist and spun her around madly, waltzing her over the floor for a heavenly moment before letting her go. She swayed dizzily and groped for the wall to hold herself up. She glanced at the boy who winked at her and her blush deepened.  
  
"A basketball court," Heero said, getting down on the floor and becoming one with the cool, slick wood. Measuring the floor with his eyes he was satisfied to discover that the floor was perfectly level.  
  
The girls groaned and plopped into the velvet-covered armchairs conveniently lining the court as the boys ogled their playground.  
  
"This was the secret," Midii sniffed, relieved and disappointed at the same time. "Now we'll be stuck down here all night watching them sweat!"   
  
"Well," Hilde sighed in resignation, leaning back in her chair, "I hope Duo and Heero will be skins, at least that'll be something . . .   
  
But unfortunately Trowa and Quatre were ripping their shirts off as Wufei waved a coin that had landed tails in front of the disappointed Duo. Midii and Dorothy stuck their tongues out at Hilde and exchanged a discreet and ladylike "high five." Perhaps there were worse things than watching the boys sweat after all.  
  
There was a rustle of paper grocery bags and the insistent sound of a throat clearing. Cathrine jumped up and took the bags from Rasid.  
  
"Ah, I forgot all about these," she said, starting to look around the room for a place to work.  
  
"You brought groceries? Here? I assure you we have plenty of food," Dorothy frowned. Cathrine was certainly odd. No! It couldn't be! She wasn't planning on making-soup?  
  
"I'll help," Midii said immediately, knowing what Cathrine planned.  
  
Dorothy's unique brows rose in consternation. Now Midii was going to cook soup too? This was definitely not how she had planned this night. An elegant candlelit dinner followed by a intelligent conversation and then some private time between her and Quatre before they separated before the wedding, but not soup and basketball. Definitely not. Reluctantly she turned back to hear Miss Relena's never-ending chatter about her expected baby. She hoped she wouldn't be so boring if her time ever came.  
  
The fruity tang of freshly cut lemons, limes, oranges and apples accompanied the staccato thwack of Cathrine's knives as she sliced fruit for her famous Sangria as Midii popped the wine bottles expertly and mixed the soda water with it to give it sparkle and fizz. It was a recipe the roommates treated themselves to every Friday night after work and they were expert at it.  
  
"Mmm, Sangria," Relena exclaimed, drawn by the smell of the fruit and, ever hungry in her condition, snatching a few slices of apple and orange before Cathy dumped them into Midii's pitcher.  
  
"Yes," Cathrine said, handing Relena a brimming glass. "I intended to make it for everyone while we visited but it was kind of Rasid to bring my things down here since it appears we'll be here awhile. I've already mixed you a virgin variety."   
  
She smiled as Wufei's voice overpowered Duo's shouts as a call went against the 01 and 02 pilots in their hotly-contested game of two on two. Instead of arguing the call, Heero merely stared at Quatre like a snake charmer before snatching the ball away and scoring an easy two points.  
  
Despite her original irritation with the impromptu game Dorothy found herself leaping from her seat.  
  
"Don't let him take the ball away like that Quatre! DEFENSE," she shrieked, taking a quick gulp of the Sangria Midii handed her before sitting down beside her on a comfortable love seat.  
  
Midii chewed her lower lip, the professional-quality scoreboard showed that her team was losing by a healthy deficit. Despite her amusement at the adorable frown that creased Trowa's forehead a feeling of protectiveness surged in her heart at the unusual glimpse of visible emotion. Trowa's height and natural athleticism combined with Quatre's battlefield intelligence were proving to be an uneven match as Heero and Duo's disparate playing styles combined cold professionalism and vibrant enthusiasm to make the pair nearly unstoppable. A familiar sense of adrenaline surged in her as she spied a pair of opera glasses in a wooden box beneath the seat.  
  
"Quatre does think of everything," she murmured, fishing the glasses out and peering through them. Casually she scanned the floor, lingering on Trowa and Quatre taking a water break before glancing over where Heero and Duo were whispering in the corner. Her own lips moved softly as she narrowed her eyes and read their lips.  
  
"Separate them-" Heero was saying.  
  
"and move in for the kill," Duo finished gleefully.  
  
"Move in for the kill," Midii repeated thoughtfully, jumping when a voice whispered in her ear.  
  
"A leopard never changes its spots," Dorothy hissed, smiling as Midii's eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"You do want Trowa and Quatre to win this thing don't you," Midii asked, seeing the good humor behind Dorothy's statement.  
  
"But of course," Dorothy said, her gaze resting amorously on her love, her own competitive edge rising to the occasion. She squeezed Midii's hand in hers as they grinned at each other. "I think we should go offer the boys a better drink than water. I fear our brave knights need a bit more fortification."  
  
"And a bit of ill-gotten information never hurts either. Well hardly ever," Midii said.  
  
Dorothy smirked with the satisfaction of having a friend who was not above a little foul play when the occasion called for it  
  
"Isn't that cheating," Quatre asked, glancing wide-eyed at Heero and Duo's corner of the court.  
  
"Of course not," Dorothy said.  
  
"Of course not! They could have turned their backs. They do know who they're up against after all. And aren't we part of your team," Midii cajoled sweetly, expertly playing on Quatre's sentiments.  
  
"They do have an unfair advantage," Trowa admitted. "Heero did play college ball in '96. This will even it up. But I don't think we'll need any more reconnaissance."  
  
He made a mock frown but ran his finger gently down the tip of Midii's nose.  
  
"And Quatre, stop drinking that stuff. It's alcoholic you know," he ordered, pulling Dorothy's Sangria glass of out his friend's hand.  
  
"Alcoholic! I thought it was fruit juice," Quatre protested.  
  
"If you're quite ready," Heero said flatly, appearing silently beside the laughing group and the game resumed.  
  
Final Score: Trowa and Quatre 42, Heero and Duo 38 ^_^  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I still say they cheated somehow," Duo slurred over his fourth glass of fruited wine. He looked at Midii and it seemed she was giving him a blurry smile, but he couldn't be sure. All he was certain of was that Cathy mixed a damn good drink.  
  
The girls were huddled together on the couch, all of them as pretty as a bunch of flowers. Relena's really blooming, Duo joked to himself. Funny how alcohol could make a guy a poet. A poet who didn't even know it, he laughed.  
  
"Err, Duo? You okay," Quatre asked, ever the vigilant host.  
  
"This ain't nothing buddy. When we're on Earth we're going to have to have a proper send-off for you as you enter the mystical land of marriage," Duo pontificated.  
  
Quatre paled as he imagined exactly the type of mayhem Duo could come up with left to his own resources.  
  
Heero rolled his eyes and silently promised to pour Duo's next drink himself, altering the percentage of alchohol and fruit juice for a more pleasing result before the obnoxious American went completely over the deep end.  
  
"Oh, you've all had so many adventures. I really envy you. My life has been so dull," Safira said, looking from one girl to another. Relena hastened to assure the girl that she really had nothing to envy. They would all trade places with her in a heartbeat.  
  
"I know what you're saying," Safira admitted, still feeling slightly rebuffed. "But I did experience the war when my father died, although I admit we were never close. It's just that I feel so left out of things and you've all ended up with such wonderful lives. I can't help but wish for a little excitement!"  
  
Dorothy raised one of her unique brows at her future sister-in-law. She decided to change the subject.  
  
"Shall we go up and look at my wedding dress now ladies? I'm anxious for your opinion," she said, leading the excited girls up the stairs.  
  
Midii jumped, slightly startled and followed the others slowly. She had been watching Trowa beneath her lashes, it was an erotic experience just watching him eat the piece of orange that floated in his drink. The way his lips caressed the fruit and the way he licked his fingertips after, she shivered slightly.  
  
The evening was swiftly going downhill, Midii thought unhappily as she stared at the daffodil-colored dress Dorothy expected her to wear in the wedding. The style was elegant and the fabric absolutely lovely but yellow just wasn't her color. She noticed Dorothy wore the color often and their hair was nearly the same shade but she didn't care for it. Her head began to ache from all the bouncing at the basketball game and a little overindulgence in Cathy's Sangria. As the high-pitched sound of the girls' voices exclaiming over Dorothy's dress increased in volume the little ache started to erupt into one of her full-fledged killer headaches and she desperately wanted to escape to her room.  
  
Her last night with Trowa for a week and this had to happen, the thought made the pain worse. She excused herself and fled to the room she was going to share with Trowa. Bless Dorothy for arranging things this way, she thought briefly, before tossing items from her suitcase in an attempt to find her prescription. She sighed in relief when she found the bottle and crept into bed in the darkness.  
  
The sky was pale gray but the dim light still hurt her eyes slightly as she turned her face into the pillow to hide from the coming day. She made a soft, contented sound as someone moved beside her and she felt Trowa's hand moving through her hair.   
  
"There you are," he said softly, finding her face beneath the soft strands of gold.  
  
Midii groaned as the morning light brightened as she peeked at him and Trowa moved over her blocking the soft light diffusing through the curtains.  
  
"You okay," he asked. "Cathy said you got a headache and by the time I came up you were out."  
  
"Better I think," Midii said, she never knew for sure until she stood up. "Did you stay with me all night?"  
  
He nodded and bent to kiss her. "Are you upset that I'm leaving? Is that what brought it on?"  
  
She smiled at his attempt to diagnose her worries. "I will miss you but I don't think that's it. I really think it was all that awful bouncing of rubber on wood during the game that got to me."  
  
The mere memory of the sound made her head pound slightly and she pushed herself up and tried to put it out of her mind.  
  
"Besides, you don't want to stay here. I sense a battle royale coming with Dorothy over my dress. She picked yellow! Can you believe it? I'll look just awful in it," Midii huffed, folding her arms over her chest.  
  
Trowa looked at her, confused. "I'm sure you'll look fine," he said, not understanding what difference the color made.  
  
"Men," she sighed, smacking him lightly with a nearby pillow. "I'll look like a monochromatic blob!"  
  
He restrained a laugh. Maybe it was good they were leaving for the traditional period of abstinence required by Quatre's beliefs. It looked like things were going to get rather testy around here in a house full of women preparing for a wedding.  
  
Trowa's thoughts were disrupted as Midii took the opportunity to pounce and catching him in a rare unguarded moment easily pinned him beneath her.  
  
"You slept with me last night and I missed it," she complained. "And now a week apart! Trowa, Trowa, you're trying to drive me insane with thwarted passion, aren't you?"  
  
"Silly," he murmured, snuggling back on the mattress and letting her nuzzle his neck. "I'm just waiting for the right moment."  
  
"You have the patience of a saint," she whispered in his ear, trailing kisses along his jawline as her fingers drew circles on his chest.  
  
"Hardly," he groaned, as she nestled closer. "My thoughts of you are hardly holy-  
  
She cut off his words with a kiss.  
  
"How long before you have to leave," she breathed between kisses.  
  
She huffed and rolled off him as a soft knock sounded on the door as if in answer to her question.  
  
Trowa scrambled for his shirt and tie as Rasid called in that Quatre was nearly ready to leave.  
  
"I promise I'll have a surprise for you when you get to Earth," he said, wanting to see her smile before he left.  
  
Midii sat straight up and he could tell from the look in her eyes that she was preparing to get the information about his secret from him by any means possible. That could be highly pleasurable of course, but he wanted to keep his secret and afterward perhaps she would finally know just what she meant to him and always would.  
  
"No questions," he said firmly, touching his thumb to her lower lip that immediately jutted in a pout calculated to gain his sympathy.  
  
"Okay," she sighed in defeat as he refused to give in. She tugged on the loose ends of his tie until he was sitting on the edge of the bed and she could hug him again.  
  
"Are you sure you'll be all right," Trowa asked over his shoulder as he buttoned his shirt.  
  
"Perfectly fine," Midii assured him, a good night's sleep had left her in a much better mood and ready to do battle with Dorothy over that hideous dress. "You're the one I'm worried about. Don't let Duo get you in any trouble!"  
  
"Trowa," she whispered softly as he went out the door. He turned and paused expectantly.   
  
"It means so much to me that you trust me enough to leave me like this. Have a good time," she said.  
  
He returned to her side for a last quick kiss, hoping she didn't hear the pounding of his heart. He couldn't wait till he saw her again.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Midii walked slowly up the stairs to the private family quarters of the Cinq Palace after breakfast. It was the day before the wedding and still she hadn't wangled a way out of wearing that dress. She made her way to her room thoughtfully. There had been so much on her mind, so many memories dredged up by returning to this corner of Earth, so close to her own childhood home that she hadn't been able to give the issue her full attention.  
  
Maybe, she thought, this would be just the thing to dismiss the ghosts of Papa and her brothers and especially of Stefan. She paused by a tall arched window and looked out over the sparkling Mediterranean toward Corsica, the place where she had first suspected she had Trowa's love and the place she had lost her partner and friend. It had been nearly a year ago.  
  
She had a new life now and new friends. Relena was a gracious hostess, wanting everything perfect for Dorothy's wedding. Dorothy hid her emotions at Relena's gesture of holding the wedding in Cinq Kingdom but they all knew how much it really pleased the cynical young woman. Even the weather promised to be lovely as spring came early to this southern edge of Europe. All of them had to be family for each other now it seemed since they had lost their real ones in the war. It was something, in addition to their relationships with the former Gundam pilots, which forged a strong bond between the five seemingly different girls.  
  
"Oh Midii! I'm so sorry," a sweet voice gasped in embarrassment.   
  
Midii peeked into her elegant guest room and smiled as Quatre's sister looked at her from within, blushing wildly. Safira was standing near her bridesmaid dress fingering the rich material enviously.  
  
"This dress is just so lovely. You're going to look beautiful Midii and Trowa is so handsome. It's going to be a wonderful wedding. I just wish I was you. . ."   
  
"Actually I think this dress would look much better on you," Midii said, the devious wheels in her mind starting to turn. "Why don't you try it on? I think in this dress you can't fail to meet someone special tomorrow."  
  
Safira was a vision in the dress and Midii examined her with awestruck and almost jealous eyes. The rich yellow silk enhanced her warm skin tones and brought out hidden golden highlights in her hair. The girl's hereditary angelic Winner features glowed above the shimmering satin and her big eyes shone with delight as she examined herself in the mirror. The dress, made for Midii's smaller figure clung breathtakingly to Safira's curvy lines revealing a spectacular body she usually kept hidden beneath demure schoolgirl dresses.  
  
"You look positively scandalous," a shocked voice breathed from the doorway.  
  
Midii and Safira winced in a perfectly synchronized reaction to the imperious voice of the oldest Winner sister, Yasmina. Even Rasid walked in fear of the dominating mistress of the Winner empire, a serious and intelligent woman who was Quatre's right hand in family and business matters. All 28 of Quatre's remaining sisters had gathered in Cinq the previous day for the upcoming ceremony.  
  
Yasmina narrowed her eyes as a slow smile curved Midii's lips. She hadn't liked Miss Midii Une from the moment she'd walked through the door of Winner Headquarters masquerading as Isabela Niente! Why was she the only one who remembered the girl had tried to ruin her brother?  
  
Midii's thoughts ran along different lines. What better way to get Dorothy's cooperation in the all-important matter of the dress than to pit her against that she-dragon Yasmina? The future promised to be very entertaining with Dorothy almost certain to be constantly at odds with the intimidating businesswoman.  
  
Midii placed her arm around Safira's slender shoulders in a gesture of solidarity. Truth to tell she was still a bit put out that Yasmina had seen through her sweet secretary act and a bit of revenge was hard to pass up.   
  
"I think she looks absolutely lovely in this dress. It's like it was made for her. She shouldn't hide her light under a bushel. She's a grown woman," Midii said, lifting her chin boldly.  
  
Safira's eyes widened in increased admiration for the other girl. How did Midii dare speak that way to Yasmina? She loved her sister and knew she had the family's welfare at heart but she was an overwhelming personage who tended to take her senior position a tad too seriously. Even Quatre hesitated to stand up to her.  
  
Before the outraged Yasmina could respond to the younger girl's insolence Dorothy appeared in the doorway, predictably lured by the sounds of battle. Midii forced down a victorious smile and turned to her friend for support.  
  
"Oh Dorothy I know you chose this dress for me and it is lovely but just look at Safira, she's a vision in it," Midii cajoled, tilting her head toward Yasmina indicating her disapproval.  
  
Dorothy hesitated. She simply adored yellow, but even Miss Relena had privately admitted to her that Midii looked "rather bland" in the dress. Was this her chance to get out of her mistake? And had Midii set this up on purpose? She knew little meant more to Midii than looking good, she had a stubborn vain streak that all her trouble-making had failed to squelch. Dorothy smiled suddenly. She'd catch Midii in a lie and let her have her way as well. Not to mention this was a good opportunity to show her holier-than-thou future sister who was going to be boss in the Winner family from now on! Why she was becoming as diplomatic as Miss Relena.  
  
"Why Midii dearest, I'll make the change if you'll just admit you hate the dress and would try any scheme not to wear it," she said with a saccharine smile.  
  
The look on Midii's face when caught lying was priceless Dorothy thought as she noticed a brief flash of shock and dismay cross her friend's features before the perfect mask of innocence smoothed out once again. The innocence gave way to mock penitence that purposely failed to hide the glint of victory in those blue-gray eyes.  
  
"You're right as always Dorothy and I can't say I won't mind wearing something else but only if Safira gets to wear this dress. Please say yes," Midii said, wondering if she and Dorothy enjoyed their little mind games too much, but that after all was what made them the perfect mental fencing partners.  
  
Safira felt delight bubbling up inside of her. She felt as if she couldn't wait for tomorrow. Her heart skipped a beat when Yasmina voiced her inevitable protest.  
  
"My sister will not parade herself in that poor excuse for a dress," she spat coldly.  
  
"Are you questioning my taste," Dorothy asked, her voice sharp as the fencing foil she wielded. "I have the last word in all matters pertaining to my wedding and you would do well to remember that. Safira, come see me later, I believe I have a topaz necklace that would look lovely with that dress."  
  
Yasmina stalked out, her face brick red and her hands shaking with anger. Her little brother's marriage was a complete mistake. The Catalonia girl was a complete and utter little bitch!  
  
The three younger girls released their laughter as the older woman disappeared before Dorothy sobered.  
  
"Now what will you wear! There's no time to find another dress," Dorothy said. "Damnit Midii, you set me up. I swear I should have had Miss Relena stand up for me even as ungainly as she is."  
  
"Well," Midii said comfortingly, taking no offense from Dorothy's rant, "Relena did have a dress in mind for your wedding before she knew about the baby. She did offer to let me wear it, with your approval of course."  
  
"Touché Midii, you think of everything, including finding the perfect allies in Safira and Relena," Dorothy said.  
  
"I try," Midii said. "One has to be well-prepared when dueling with the best."  
  
"Don't flatter," Dorothy glared, before smiling. It was good to have someone you could totally be yourself with.  
  
But once alone in her room again Midii was drawn back to the window. She couldn't shake the feeling it was wrong to feel so normal, so happy when so many others that had suffered in the war were not afforded the same luxury.  
  
Stefan in particular haunted her, his ghost seeming to beckon her across the water to the small Mediterranean island where he was buried. Richard's last words to her festered in her soul and she shivered a little despite the warm day. She was definitely guilty in Stefan's death and although Eva Ketto had hurt her in her attempt to get revenge the fact remained that he had died trying to save her. Somehow she found the ferry schedule to Corsica in her hand. The very least she could do was put flowers on his grave and try to tell him how sorry she was for the way things had turned out.  
  
"Earth to Midii," Cathrine called out from the doorway.   
  
The palace at Cinq was once again like a girls' dormitory, as it had been during the brief time of the Peacecraft Institute for Pacifism Relena had set up during the war and it seemed like privacy was difficult to attain. Midii sighed, she hated to bring up bad memories for Cathrine, who seemed so happy with Wufei lately but she also knew she had to tell someone where she was going. Cathy would understand.  
  
"Would you like me to go with you," Cathrine offered, looking at the younger girl sympathetically when she told her where she was headed.   
  
Midii shook her head. "I'll be back by early this evening. The last return ferry is at 5 p.m. You can explain to Dorothy and Trowa for me."  
  
Cathrine was slightly relieved. Her own memories of Stefan Niente were faded but would always linger in her heart. A magical kiss from a handsome and misguided man who she believed had truly cared for her seemed to remain imprinted on her heart despite the new love she had found. So often before her relationship with Wufei had begun she had dreamed of Stefan and wondered what they might have become if he had lived. Could she have changed him for the better and made him happy. The loss of that opportunity had been a secret hurt that Wufei had healed finally.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The familiar sights and sounds of Corsica, the lovely ocean views and crowded streets wrapped around Midii like a hug from an old friend. Despite the horrible things that had occurred here it was also a place of happy memories always. She headed automatically for Il Ritmo de La Mare knowing Paolo would never forgive her if she failed to say hello and she knew she could beg a ride to the cemetery from someone at the club.  
  
She stood in the middle of the deserted dance floor with her eyes closed, she could hear the music and feel Trowa's hands on the bare skin of her arms and see that something in his eyes that she had seen here for the very first time. She missed him with a physical longing that made her insides feel hollow. Such a short time of separation and it felt like forever. Midii wanted to hurry now, hurry to the cemetery and then back to Cinq. When she returned he'd be there.  
  
She felt a hand on her shoulder and whirled, gasping as she looked up into a familiar, darkly handsome face that grinned down at her happily.  
  
"Signorina Midii!! You've returned at last," he said, raising her hand to his lips in a heartbreakingly familiar gesture for a kiss.  
  
"Stefan," she gasped, blinking in disbelief. Even as she said his name she knew her mind was playing tricks on her. The face was his but younger and the build more slender and marked by youthful gawkiness.  
  
"No," he said sadly, the smile fading. "But everyone says I look just like him now I'm older."  
  
"Oh Anton, it's you," Midii said, smiling up at the boy who was Stefan's nephew. "You've grown so much! Why you're taller than me and you're only 13, right?"  
  
"Almost 14, almost a man, la bella Signorina," he said, his smile returning. Time had helped the hurt he felt at Stefan's death to fade and his exuberant personality had returned. "I work here now for Uncle Paolo, just like Stefan used to. I saw you on the news Signorina Midii. Those awful things in Belgium wouldn't have happened if Stefan had been there!"  
  
So Anton was still hero-worshipping his cousin. Midii sighed. "Perhaps you're right," she admitted.  
  
She would always miss Stefan. She wondered what could she have done differently as Anton drove her to the little graveyard on the back of his motorbike.  
  
"I have to get back or Uncle Paolo will be angry," he said. "But I'll come back for you soon."  
  
Midii waved as she wandered off up the hill. The view was breathtaking, the cemetery on a cliff that commanded a view of the sea. Old and crumbling gravestones side by side with shining marble only a few years old, casualties of the war. She was overwhelmed and unshed tears burned her eyes. Sometimes she wondered how any of them could go on with so much heartache and loss in their past. But they had been lucky enough to survive and they had to go on living or else all they had lost would be in vain. It was time to break from the painful past and start again.   
  
She smiled and shook her head at the thought of Stefan as a Preventer, most likely spending his energy breaking Lady Une's dress code and smoking illegally in the men's room.  
  
"I think you would have learned to like it Stefan," she whispered. "At the very least you would have shaken things up. Did you see how I almost botched things there in Brussels? I didn't know how much you always did for me. I miss you, it seems so wrong that someone like you could be gone."  
  
Midii felt a strange sense of peace, a feeling of unfamiliar serenity now that she had come as she gently placed the vivid bouquet of tulips and daffodils beside the marble stone.  
  
She rose and brushed grass off the flowered skirt of her dress. The sun was already low in the sky and she'd have to hurry to make the last ferry, the early spring schedule was light and she didn't want to be trapped here. Could Anton have gotten so busy he'd forgotten to come and get her? She frowned, it was a long way back to the town. Trowa would be at Cinq by now and she could already feel herself crushed in his arms. She wondered for the hundredth time what he was waiting for so patiently but the anticipation made her tingle pleasurably. Tonight, perhaps tonight, he had said he had a surprise for her . . .   
  
A lone figure caught her eye, silhouetted darkly against the pastel sky. Curiosity drew her as she glanced impatiently around for Anton's bike.  
  
The way the young man held his body was so familiar, the easy slump of the shoulders and the way he kept his hands in his pockets. She climbed the little hill up to the military section of the Corsica cemetery.  
  
"Diarmid?"  
  
He appeared startled and quickly swiped the suspicious gleam of wet tears from his cheek.  
  
"Midii," he asked wonderingly, staring at her disbelievingly in the rosy light. The sun was setting behind her and he could have been mistaken, her face was in shadow but her hair blew around her in the stiffening breeze. She stepped forward a little and the light shone on her face.  
  
"What are you doing here," he asked, kneeling in front of the white marble stone to hide his face.  
  
"A friend is buried here, I took the ferry over from Cinq for the day," she explained, tucking her skirt around her and sitting beside the headstone to get a better look at the name, Sean Walker. He had died in AC 195.  
  
"Your brother," she quessed, tracing the carved letters gently with a finger.  
  
He stood and turned his back to her, looking out over the view. As lovely as it was it brought no peace to his heart. He and his parents still mourned Sean. Away on the colonies he could almost forget. But being here and dreading his upcoming assignment brought the pain back as sharply as when the knock had come on the door and a uniformed officer had given them the shattering news. It had seemed to awful to be true and it still seemed that way although the name carved on the white marble screamed that it was indeed real. Diarmid's anger and frustration, barely held in check, bubbled up from inside at last.  
  
"We sometimes forget that in this new world we have to get close sometimes to people it's hard to forgive. Christ, I know the rest of the world sees those Gundam pilots as heroes. Forgive me Midii one of them killed my brother! Now Lady Une wants me in the group providing security at Winner's wedding and I don't honestly know if I can do it. Part of me wouldn't mind seeing somebody blow that guy away for what he did to my brother and my parents. My brother was a good man, there were lots of good people on both sides. I'm sorry, I know Winner's a friend of yours but I have to be honest. I came here to look for answers but I don't know what to do," Diarmid said.  
  
So often she lost sight of the fact that like her Trowa and everyone she was close to had done so many horrible things in the war, Midii thought. The graves surrounded her like accusations and blame and brought back her conflicting emotions. Did she dare to be happy? Was there anyway to escape what they had all done in the name of love and peace and justice and freedom. Whatever the cause it didn't erase the fact that they had caused the deaths of many people. She stared past Diarmid seeing the faces of the Captain, the man who had given her his jacket and promised to take her home, the faces of Richard and Stefan, her own missing brothers.  
  
"I didn't mean to make you cry Midii," Diarmid said, noticing a silent tear making its way down her cheek.  
  
"I can't help it in this place," she whispered, holding out her hand for him to take. "I wish I could say something to you about the wedding. The answers all seem so inappropriate. But we have to forgive, to start again. It will be hard for you to face Quatre but you have to accept the mission, focus on the other people you'll be protecting. The vice foreign minister will be there and many other important people. I know you can do it Diarmid. I can't tell you what we, Quatre's friends, feel for him. He suffered too, lost his father and his innocence as all of us did."   
  
"I'd come just to keep you safe Midii," he said, sighing as she let him take her in his arms. He could feel the warmth of her skin beneath the thin fabric, her bare arms cool as the sun set and the warmth of the Mediterranean spring faded as twilight approached.  
  
She started to feel uncomfortable as his arms tightened around her. She could feel his rapid heartbeat and the touch of his lips on the delicate, sensitive skin at her temple. He was her friend, he needed her, but this wasn't something she could be for him, not ever.  
  
"Signorina Midii," a voice called, echoing through the silence. The perfect excuse for her to extricate herself from his arms without hurting him, she thought.  
  
"I have to go, that's my ride," she explained, pulling away, her mind seeking an appropriate goodbye but only coming up with something awkward. "I'll see you tomorrow and who knows, perhaps you'll end up having a wonderful time."  
  
He didn't look as if he believed her comforting words, his face was so woebegone it tugged at her heart. She leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek, barely brushing the corner of his mouth before turning away to find Anton. Diarmid caught her hand and tugged her back. She was relieved to see the usual mischievous gleam in his bright blue eyes again.  
  
"Promise me a dance and that will make things better," he said, catching her eyes with his.  
  
"Of course. We're good friends aren't we," she said, tempering her promise with a reminder that friends was all they ever could be.  
  
He watched her disappear over the hill and stood watching until the roar of the little motorbike faded away.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Next time on POR. . . What is Trowa's surprise for Midii? . . . Dorothy starts having doubts about her marriage.  
  
Author's Note: While rewatching Gundam Wing recently I heard definite mention of Cinq Kingdom being located in Northern Europe. My apologies for the incorrect information in Alone/Together and Price of Redemption, I won't change the locale because I've tied its Mediterranean location so tightly into the story. I believed at the time (so long ago already!) that the location of Cinq was unknown and chose the locale to help move the A/T storyline along. 


	23. Chapter 23

Author's Note:  beware of major fluff and sap ^_^  Again, apologies for the wait, but thanks to Little Green and Lindsey B. for encouraging me to get on with it already!

_I knew you were the one_

_But I kept you waiting_

_Kept you waiting_

_Anticipating    _

_Now I'm waiting for you_

_--Sugar Ray (yet again ^_^), Waiting_

The Price of Redemption

Chapter 23

By Midii Une

Duo snuggled closer in the warm, strong embrace as he lay groggy from a night of overindulgence in alcohol and perhaps what could be called "too good a time."   

So nice.

So safe.

So cozy.

He had a recurring dream of a long-ago time before the sickness came, a vague memory, half-forgotten and bittersweet of a little boy with shaggy chocolate brown hair running down a dark hallway.  He felt safe, he knew the way even in the dark and his small face was split by a mischievous grin that was almost too big for the childish features.  With a leap and a bound he vaulted up onto the mattress and into the small warm hollow that separated his parents from each other in their slumber.  With a blink and a yawn the toddler flung his small arms around his father's hard chest and nuzzled close.  He thought he could see a tolerant and loving violet eye glimmer at him beneath long chestnut lashes and fingers stroking his hair comfortingly as he fell back to sleep.

"mmmmmm," he groaned, cuddling closer in that secure embrace.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Long silky locks of hair, like unbound ropes of thick satin tickled against Trowa's chest in the darkness. His head buzzed and ached and it would take something akin to a major disaster for him to dare open his eyes, the very thought of seeing the light of day made his stomach quiver dangerously.  Somehow she was here with him, it made no sense but she was there, lying heavily on top of him, tangling him in the warm, enticing web of her hair and he buried his fingers in the soft strands to keep her there. Cautiously he moved his face into the curve of her neck and wrinkled his nose.  Midii smelled like smoke and stale alcohol and suspiciously like Duo's aftershave.  Too tired to argue the discrepancies in his brain Trowa hugged her closer, clinging to her waist as the bed, or was it the room spun dizzily around him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

With an expression between a scowl and a smirk, Wufei bent silently to untie the laces of his running shoes.  He mopped his forehead with a fresh white towel that hung over his shoulders as he looked at his sleeping friends disgustedly.  He'd already been out for a 10-mile jog and the idea that the combination of alcohol and Duo Maxwell was an evil one became planted even more firmly in his psyche. His comrades, even Yuy, were lying around the room like a heap of defeated mobile suits, a disjointed jumble of arms and legs.  He'd had to step carefully over the fallen bodies of the Maganacs in the corridors of Quatre's Moroccan mansion to make his way back undetected.

Wufei turned sharply as Quatre sneezed and stifled a laugh as he saw that the blonde bridegroom-to-be's nose was being tickled by the tassel on Heero's red fez.  The gold lettering of his name embroidered on the stiff scarlet felt proclaimed his identity since all that showed in the tangle of silk pillows and sheer scarves was a shock of dark brown hair and the aforementioned hat.  Quatre in turn was cozied up to Heero's back, one hand clenched around a strap of the green tank undershirt the other man wore as he tried to stay warm in the air-conditioned room.  Wufei crouched silently in the lightening gloom trying to decide if and how to wake them up.  It was well past noon and they were expected in Cinq within hours.  The situation called for decisive action.

A sharp sound, like the report of a gunshot, echoed through the room and the gleaming ivory walls of the master suite glinted with full afternoon sunlight as the shade flew up with alarming and unstoppable swiftness.

Duo pouted and tightened his hold on his dad as the familiar dream started to fade when the unforgiving light persistently pried at his lids.

"Huh," he muttered, blinking dazedly as a muscular pair of arms squeezed his waist affectionately.

"Midii? Need coffee, don't feel so good," Trowa slurred, planting a wet, sticky kiss on Duo's cheek, finding it rather sandpapery to his surprise and flinging an arm over his eyes to block the light.

  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!," Duo screamed, tripping over a tangle of sheets and falling from Trowa's bed face first onto the floor.

"Duo, shut the hell up," Heero groaned, not even opening his eyes but moving his hand blindly in the mess until it closed over the barrel of his discarded water cannon.  He picked it up and shot a powerful stream of icy water at the spot where Duo's scream had originated, treating Trowa to a cold shower in the process.

"Crap! Someone's dead," Trowa yelled, sitting up quickly, a little too quickly.  He bolted from the bed and raced to the bathroom after shooting them all a deadly glare from one bloodshot, emerald eye.  

Wufei leaned back against the wall, truly smiling now as Heero rolled awkwardly off the pile of pillows, nearly dragging Quatre with him as he crawled toward Duo with murder on his mind. Quatre meanwhile pulled Heero's abandoned blanket over his head and snuggled into the warm spot he'd left behind on the cushions.

When a gray-faced Trowa emerged from the little boy's room he slouched against the wall and watched with bleary eyes as Heero tried to strangle Duo.  It was hard for Heero to get a handhold on the other man's neck because his hair was loose and the slippery mess afforded him some protection from his vengeful best friend.

"What's the matter Heero," Duo asked gleefully.  "Too many Colonial Coolers, eh?  By the end of the night you were calling that chick who did the Dance of the Sixteen Veils Relena and threatening to kill the rest of us for looking.  Err, umm, nice fez, by the way."

Heero scowled quickly reached up to yank off the silly red hat, vaguely recalling that sometime during the bacchanalia of the last few days they had all become honorary Maganacs.  Duo had cooked up a bachelor party that lasted nearly a week and had included dirt biking in the nearby desert, drinking, dirty movies, drinking, a nearly lethal game of water cannon tag, drinking, dancing girls and more drinking.  Something itched Heero's neck and he impatiently tugged on the sheer pink veil that was twined around his neck and reeked of jasmine perfume.

"Baka," he hissed, "if I didn't need a drink so bad I'd kill you."  Heero stumbled to his feet, rolling his eyes as Duo crawled over Quatre on the way to the mini-fridge, pulled out a can of the despised Colonial Cooler and offered it to him apologetically.

"I meant water," Heero growled, knocking the can away.  Duo shrugged, found the can and popped it open.

"Nothing like hair of the dog that bit ya the morning after," he said, gulping the liquor down in several loud swallows.

Trowa's stomach recoiled at the very thought of drinking, he looked down at the dirty T-shirt he wore that had once been white and noticed several long strands of brown hair clung to the wrinkled shirt.

"Duo, where did you sleep last night," Trowa asked, sickening realization dawning, as he distastefully plucked the hairs off him.

"With you Tro-man," Duo said with a wink.  "Who'd have thought you'd be such a good snuggler?"

Trowa shuddered.

"Must. . . Brush . . . . Teeth," he said tautly, silently vowing never to drink again and disappearing back into the bathroom.

"Hey guys," Quatre muttered, finally waking up and peering from beneath the blanket. "What time is it?"

Duo reacted quickly, contorting his face into a grimace of worry.

"You're not gonna like this Quatre," Duo said sadly. "I'm sorry.  I really am.  But we missed it."

Quatre turned pale as Wufei and Heero looked at Duo questioningly unable to follow the twisted path of his devious mind.

"Missed it?  Missed what?  Allah, Allah, oh Duo, you're not saying . . . 

"Yup," Duo announced.  "We all overslept and we missed the wedding. It was yesterday, or was it the day before?"

He started to laugh as Quatre jumped up from beneath the blanket with his pale rose dress shirt wrinkled but still neatly buttoned and his dark violet vest still firmly pulled over his chest.  Below the shirt though he wore only a pair of black silk boxers printed with the words "Kiss Me My Bachelor Days are Over."

In a panic Quatre yanked the door of the suite open and ran out, falling headlong over the pile of passed out Maganacs in the hall as Duo chuckled behind him till tears ran from his eyes.

Wufei shook his head at all the silliness and finished stowing his gear (which included an instructional disk illustrating precisely how to do the Dance of the Sixteen Veils as a gift for Cathrine).   "We haven't missed it yet but we will if you don't get cleaned up so we can get out of here.  Needless to say I'll fly the transport to Cinq," Wufei said, fixing Duo with a no-nonsense stare.  Duo grumbled, he'd been looking forward to giving his nauseated friends a bumpy ride and holding a contest to see who could hold the contents of their stomachs the longest.

Quatre picked himself up and crept back into the room, a hand pressed to his forehead.  They'd drunk enough to knock even the Maganacs out and that was saying something.

"Truly Wufei," he asked.  "We didn't miss it?"  
  


Before Wufei could reassure the nervous would-be groom Duo stepped in.

'Nah, I was just kidding. Ya still gotta marry Dorothy buddy," he said.  "We stopped you from eloping with that dancing girl that looked like Relena.  The one you and Heero were fighting over last night."

"Oh . . . her," Quatre blushed at the vague memory of last night's shenanigans.  "She was very pretty.  But there's only one Dorothy!  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Paolo Niente glowered at the ferry operator, his dark heavy brows meeting in a warning frown before he turned a smile on the girl who stood before him on the docks of Bonaficio.  He felt he would not see her again and he did not want to be rushed.

"Farewell Signorina," he said, taking her delicate hand in his and jauntily kissing the back of it with the aplomb the Niente men were known for.  He was getting old, the jet-black sideburns that clung to his ruddy cheeks now touched by silver and his muscular bulk spreading to something that could be almost called fat.  However he could still appreciate a pretty young girl, when the time came that he didn't he'd rather be in the grave alongside his poor nephew.

At the sight of Midii's brave watery smile he engulfed her in his big arms for a fatherly hug. He shook his head and closed his eyes tightly, still unable to believe Stefan was no longer here and remembering again the way his nephew would appear unannounced during the war, the little blonde snip of a girl following in his shadow.  Paolo smiled then, remembering her face that first night he'd seen her and Stefan had dared her to drink a straight shot of his best Ouzo.  The two of them had been only a little more than children then but as tough and assured as seasoned adults, playing adult games when they should have been in a schoolroom.  Well that was the way of war, the Alliance's way, but it was over now and Stefan was gone.

The old man sighed and a wave of protectiveness filled his heart, there was a fragile quality to Midii, the small bones he could feel through her skin as light as a bird's. Was this the key to her survival in the face of everything, he wondered.  Was this the reason this pale and flimsy girl survived when Stefan, competent and strong, had died?  It was all in the way she made people feel she needed them, made them care what happened to her and yet for all that she was strong too, there was determination in the soft, steely-blue eyes.

"Remember Signorina," he whispered in her hair, squeezing her shoulder gently and examining her ringless fingers.  "It's time to move on and have a happy life. And tell that skinny boy he better marry you or he'll answer to me, Paolo Niente."

He grinned at the genuine smile his words prompted, felt the feather-light touch of her lips on his cheek and the lingering brand of shell-pink lipstick as she boarded the little boat at last to the great relief of the ferry operator, whose only goal in his sheltered life was to keep his boat on schedule.

"And you Tomas Argenti," Paolo yelled to the little man as Anton waved and shouted goodbye to Midii frantically beside him.  "Keep that heap you call a boat afloat on this run or I'll track you down to the very depths of the sea.  The little signorina, she is like a daughter to me!"

Midii turned her face away to face the invisible shore in the distance, perhaps to hide from the sunlight glare on the water or more likely to hide the warm flush that heated her cheeks at Paolo's words.  She turned back quickly blowing Paolo and Anton exuberant kisses, she smiled but inside she wondered why it had to be that her own father could not love her while virtual strangers had always taken her in and cared for her like family.

This was something that had always hurt her so much, even before she knew the truth about Papa it had nagged at her that her whole life was so wrong, that no loving father could ever let his daughter do the things she did.  She looked out over the sea, ignoring it's tranquil azure beauty and anxious for a sight of the mainland shore.

He was waiting for her there she knew and she let thoughts of Trowa soothe her heart.  In the first moment he'd stepped out of the woods she'd somehow placed her frustrated affections on the boy who seemed as lost as she, though he knew, in theory, exactly where he was.  In that moment she'd chosen him as a focus for the love her family hadn't seemed to need, Papa had valued her only for the financial help she could provide.  But _he_ had been like her, alone and fighting for survival in the harsh world made by the war.  The wonder of it had been that he'd seen it too, had said they were the same.  And now she was going home.  Home to Nanashi, home to Trowa.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gallons of black coffee and a double-dose of headache remedy had Trowa feeling very close to normal.  The stiff breeze coming off the Mediterranean cleared away the last lingering effects of Duo's party and played havoc with his long bangs, continually blowing them into his eyes.

At the dock they said the Corsica ferry had a perfect reputation for always being on time but it had been five minutes since he should have spotted a white speck on the endless silver-blue water.  Of course, he told himself, that perfection didn't stand a chance with Midii in the mix.  She could always make the unthinkable happen.  He could remember now the astonished stares of the mercenaries as he led the little girl back to their camp, him, Nanashi, the soldier who shot anything in his path that moved stopped by a helpless little girl.

She'd kept him off balance for years, keeping her spot at the very edges of his closed-off heart and hiding in the shadows of a mind that had followed one track for as long as he could remember, the path of war.  Only during those dark days when he remembered nothing had she gone away, receded into the blackness of injury and intolerable pain.  Trowa shivered slightly inside his jacket, the memory of that time after the Vayeate exploded giving him the chills as always.

He'd been annoyed not to find her at Cinq but it turned out to be a blessing to escape the underlying tension that pervaded the palace:  Dorothy and Quatre trying to sneak some time together but being handily thwarted by his army of sisters; Heero demanding a complete and minutely-detailed rundown of all Relena's activities since he'd been away; himself walking in on Cathy and Wufei during a rather private moment as they 'tested' one of the antique velvet sofas in a state sitting room . . .  

It would be much better to surprise her here away from the frantic atmosphere at the palace.  A pleasurable feeling of excitement tingled at the back of his knees as he finally saw the ferry coming closer, just a few minutes off schedule.  It seemed even Midii couldn't make much of a dent in the carefully kept timetables.  

Suddenly there she was.  The wind had come up as he waited and it caught in her hair lifting it and swirling it around her like a golden storm.  He wanted to run up to the ferry and twirl her in his arms but he felt suddenly shy in front of the crowd of people, especially the small group beside him that watched Midii intently also.

Midii felt shy also, realizing this was something of an astonishing event for them.  Never yet had they been separated without some crisis occurring while they were apart.  But there was nothing now but the peaceful twilight, the rosy sky and his slow smile as he took both her hands in his.  Such a little thing to find him waiting for her at the end of a journey, a little thing as precious as a diamond sparkling with perfect clarity.

A man and woman with their young son watched them standing there bathed in the rosy light of the sunset, smiling a bit in nostalgia. "Remember those days, chérie?  I would take your hand and the two of us would be alone in a crowd," he whispered in his wife's ear. She was still lovely to him despite the thinness caused by anxiety and loss.  The ghost of long-past sorrow in her eyes tempered by a gentle look and the beginning of new laugh lines at the corners of her mouth.

She nodded and leaned her head on her husband's shoulder.  "I would not have those days back again though," she said, laughing softly.  "Those anxious moments, every little crisis the end of the world.  It's so much better to be an old married couple! Young love isn't all it's cracked up to be!"

"Shame on you Marcella! Who's old?  I'm not old," her husband said, squeezing her waist teasingly, delighting in the return of her sweet sense of humor.  The end of the war and the onset of peace had given it back to her, making her once again the pretty, happy young girl he'd fallen in love with.  And then, of course, there was Thierry.

He looked at the boy beside him and a subdued rage shook his soul when he thought of the circumstances of the war, remembered his old acquaintance Philippe Une, white-faced and unshaven coming to their door in the silent hours before dawn.

"I need money.  Please my friend, I'll leave the boy with you, you know I'll be back.  Or if you like you can even keep him.  I'll take whatever you can spare me for him. God knows I can't feed him anymore the way he's growing," Une had said, his callous attitude toward his child appalling to Martin St. Denis who'd lost his own two young children in the crossfire of a rebel skirmish near their school.

Marcella had appeared silently at the bottom of the stairs, her sorrowful eyes latching onto the little boy who stared at her solemnly as he clung to his father's hand.  A boy who seemed not to know how to smile.  She'd made the decision for all of them and taken 6-year-old Thierry by the hand and led him into the warm kitchen for milk and cookies.

Philippe had turned without a word, taking the money his friend offered silently and not even bidding the child farewell.  Martin could still see those empty eyes staring at him coldly as he stopped him.

"Your other children, Philippe?  I remember you had four children.  Where are they," he'd asked, afraid of what he would hear, his own loss fresh in his mind.

"I don't know, they'll have to fend for themselves I suppose," he'd answered vaguely.

They'd never seen him again or heard anything until the young man had come last week, claiming to be a friend of Thierry's older sister.  She must be about 19, Martin thought, noticing as Marcella also studied the girl.  His wife was nervous about the meeting, always afraid of losing Thierry as she'd lost her own children but her natural maternal instinct seemed to be softening her as she looked at the slender girl.  

He watched his adopted son carefully, sensing his nervousness and followed the boy's intense steel-blue gaze to look again at the girl.  The resemblance was startling, the young boy's large, wide-set eyes matched hers and as he watched the young woman pushed at a stray lock of hair that seemed to have a habit of falling into her face.

"My sister," the boy thought, looking at the girl who stood so near but didn't seem to notice his presence or anyone's.  She was like all the teenage girls who lived in their small village, pretty and laughing.  She seemed . . . nice.  

The girl turned toward them then and something flashed.  A memory of a younger girl, a girl no older than he was now. When she had gone he'd always been alone, ignored by his father and brothers but Midii had been like a mother, she had been love and gentleness.  A soft hand on his hair and loving kisses on his cheek.  He remembered her like a sweet dream that disappeared with the morning light when she had gone he'd forgotten how to smile.

"I've got your surprise," Trowa whispered between the kisses she rained on his face and lips.  

A blonde boy, about 10 or 11, was approaching them and he stopped short of her, staring.  Midii self-consciously pushed at her messy wind-tangled hair and stared back.  He looked like her brother Marc had looked the last time she'd seen him.  But Marc would be older now.  Then who?  Her heart pounded excitedly in her chest but she wasn't sure why.

Two older people approached them, the motherly-looking woman smiling at them happily.

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Miss Une," the woman said, breaking the silence between the stunned girl and boy. "Thierry's been so nervous about this meeting.  Ever since Mr. Barton came to talk to us." 

"Thierry," Midii whispered, two pairs of identical blue-gray eyes staring into each other as if they thought the other would disappear if they looked away.

"Your young man found us and asked us to be here," the woman continued.  "You poor child, you shouldn't have been afraid to come to us.  We think Thierry needs his sister in his life, he knows he had a family before us and he needs to know you."

"I-I remember you Midii," the boy said finally.  "You came home for Christmas morning and I woke up and saw you looking out the window at the snow.  You were singing _Il Est Ne_ and I thought you were an angel.  When you were gone I was so alone, Papa was always away and Marc and Michel left me too."

Midii stepped forward and the boy lunged at her pushing her back with the force of his hug.

"Do you know where they are? Marc and Michel?" Midii asked her brother gently, almost afraid to hope, cautiously stroking his dark gold hair.

The boy shook his head.  "One day Papa said they had gone to boarding school, like you did Midii," he said.  She let her eyes meet the older woman's and she shook her head.  Thierry had no idea then, he didn't know what had really gone on in their family during the war and for that Midii was grateful.

Midii shut her eyes tightly, holding her brother close again.  Oh papa what did you do?  Where are the boys?  The thoughts raced through her head. But at least Thierry was safe and happy.  Mr. and Mrs. St. Denis were good people and Trowa had found them, talked to them for her.

She reached for his hand and pulled him forward, noticing him hanging back to let her meet her brother alone.  "This is my friend Trowa," she introduced, remembering her manners.

Thierry grinned.  "We already met him. He's your boyfriend!"

Midii felt her face go hot, unused to the teasing of a little brother.  "Well, yes, he is," she admitted, grateful for Trowa's arm around her, for everything.

"Please join us for a family dinner to celebrate," Martin St. Denis offered, watching the girl's face brighten as Thierry slipped his hand in hers.  He wondered what Midii had been through. She had the face of someone who felt perhaps they didn't deserve their happiness but he knew the young man by her side would change that eventually.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Midii, Trowa and Thierry sat at a round table beneath a colorful awning, eating ice cream as Thierry's parents took the opportunity to go for a walk along the pier in the starlight.

It felt a bit strange not to have Midii's undivided attention, Trowa thought, as he watched her concentrate on her brother.  The boy was full of stories of school and games and friends and he found himself as fascinated by the novelty as Midii.  So that was what life was like, he thought, what it was like to be a normal kid and not a small but lethal killing machine.  It struck him that he and Midii had been the same age as Thierry when they met.  He glanced at her from beneath his bangs.

Warmth crept over his heart as he felt her hand squeeze his and he knew she was thinking the same thing.

"Eewwwwww, you guys are gross," Thierry announced, snapping out of his entertaining monologue, when Midii leaned over and kissed Trowa, licking the excess mocha nut ice cream from his upper lip.

"Reaaaaaalllllllllly," Midii drawled teasingly.  "You're so handsome little brother! I bet you have a girlfriend."

The boy wrinkled his nose in disgust but he looked thoughtful.  "Well," he confessed, Aimee Latrelle says she my girlfriend—but she's a big, fat liar."

Trowa laughed, the scorn on the little boy's face reminding him of the way Wufei had been before he had become enchanted by Cathrine.

Midii shook her head, trying to hide her own giggles.  "You should be a little gentleman Thierry, you may like Aimee better when you grow up," she said in a very grown-up voice.

"Don't worry," Trowa said tousling the younger boy's soft blonde hair.  "I have a big sister too, they always say things like that."

"Little boys need their big sisters Trowa, I'm sure Cathy's taught you that," Midii said defensively.  Then she sighed, her fingers fussing with her discarded sundae spoon.  "Here comes your Papa and Maman.  You have a long drive back."

"Excuse me both of you, I'm going to go wash up," Trowa said, but his two companions barely noticed him leave.  Thierry's long blonde bangs hid his face as he hung his head and Midii stared at him.

"Thierry?"

Silence.

Midii sighed, she was used to this from Trowa but her brother had seemed different, carefree and cheerful.  Did something haunt him after all?  She felt butterflies in her stomach and sudden anger.  Couldn't at least one of them escape the war unscathed?

"Thierry, please talk to me," she tried again.

He looked up at her with unshed tears in his eyes.

"Midii, is Papa dead? Are our brothers dead?"

She swallowed hard her thoughts a swirl of confusion as she chose her words carefully. She wanted him never to know, wished to protect at least this one little boy from the world she had faced.

"Papa is dead.  I don't know about the boys.  I looked for you, for all of you but I could never find them.  I just don't know," she said.

"Where were you Midii? I was alone and you were gone.  Where were you," he cried, angry tears splashing on his flushed cheeks.  "Why didn't you or Papa want me? Why didn't you find me?"

His words broke her heart.  She had wanted him, loved him, fought for him and even betrayed Nanashi for him and the others.

God, God, what do I tell him, she wondered, afraid to say horrible things about their father but anxious that Thierry knew that she at least had loved him.  She'd only been a child herself and they had been hungry, so hungry.

"When I was younger than you Thierry, our own Maman died.  Things were so different then, Papa was different.  Everything changed, the war came and Papa got—Papa got his sickness and we needed food.  I had to do things to get money.  Bad things.  When it was over I was afraid to find you.  I saw you once.  You seemed happy and I was afraid that seeing me again would make you unhappy."

He stared at her and she didn't think he'd really understood all she'd said but he seemed relieved.  "I thought no one came for me because you hated me."

"Oh no, no sweetheart.  I loved you, I love you now.  It makes me so happy to see you at last and hear how happy you are," Midii said, hugging the boy against her and kissing his hair, breathing in the comfortingly familiar scent of him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Alone at last, Trowa thought, a bit prematurely, as Thierry and his family got in the car after a seemingly endless round of hugs and kisses and promises to visit.  His shoulders tensed as the car door popped open again and Midii's brother jumped back out.

"Do you want to come with us," he asked her, his eyes hopeful.  "You could live with us, you're my sister."

Trowa felt breathless and stunned as if he'd been punched in the gut.  Would she put her family before him again?  Was he selfish to pray she wouldn't?  He hadn't thought of this possibility when he'd set this meeting up.

Midii knelt beside Thierry and spoke to him gently, choosing her words carefully.  "I have a real job now.  Up in space with Preventer I can help make sure there are no more wars."  She looked up at Trowa and winked at him, he let his breath out slowly. "Besides," she added, winking at him.  "Trowa needs someone to look after him."

"Can I really come see you at the circus this summer," Thierry asked Trowa, a hint of mistrust in his voice as he looked up at the taller boy.

"Sure," Trowa said.  "I bet I could even get my sister to let you be in the act."

Midii shook her head and hugged her brother.  "Oh no no no!  It's bad enough she throws knives at you, she's not throwing them at Thierry!"  

Thierry made a face at Midii's smothering embrace but Trowa gave him the high sign, and the boy knew that he'd get into the act at the circus somehow despite his sister's protests.  Finally the goodbyes were said and the tail lights of the car disappeared over the little hill that led away from the seaside.

"I don't know whether to be sad he doesn't need me anymore or just grateful that he has such wonderful parents," Midii sighed, turning away from the road that carried her youngest brother away from her again and back toward Trowa.

"Are you sorry I did this," he asked slowly, wondering if his surprise had somehow backfired.  "I only meant to make you happy."

"I am happy and I could never have had the courage to do this on my own," Midii confessed.  "Facing those people would have been more difficult than any mission.  I'm still so afraid to be myself sometimes.  It wasn't just seeing Thierry again that made this so important.  Didn't you feel that this closes another door for us?  I feel the way I used to, the way I felt when I first met you Nanashi, but it's different as well."

He looked startled at the old name but he could see where her reminiscing was leading.  She could see it now, that they had come full circle.  Trowa held his breath as she came close.

"I love my brother and I love you Trowa.  It's alright to love both of you, it doesn't have to be one or the other anymore," she said, half to herself.

He could see now the pain she'd felt so long ago at having to choose and he closed his arms around her, holding her tight.

"I suppose we should be getting back," she said regretfully.  

Trowa raised his one visible eyebrow at her and she took a step back and regarded him quizzically.

"Don't you want to go back," she asked, suspicion dawning.  Things seemed different between them, a new trust and understanding as if she could feel his thoughts.

"Not especially," he said.  "Do you know what it's like back at the palace right now? I'd much rather be alone with you."

"I'd feel so selfish," Midii protested.  "Dorothy and Quatre might need us—

Her words trailed off as his lips moved imperceptibly closer to hers and his eyes caught hers in a hypnotic gaze that took her breath away.  Suddenly, she felt herself melting under a sudden onslaught of burning kisses that left her giddy and she instantly understood him again.

"I guess I passed your test finally," she teased when he paused for breath.  "What was it you were waiting for?"

She could feel him smiling against her skin.  "Midii," he whispered.

"Yes," she encouraged, waiting for the answer.

"You talk too much," he said, stopping her protests with another kiss.  The little restaurant parking lot was deserted now but the quiet block of asphalt and yellow lines seemed like a most romantic place to be.  

Midii blushed and hid her face in Trowa's jacket as a few late-departing busboys and waitresses tittered in the distance and they heard the slam and lock of the doors.

The lights went out in the parking lot and after a few minutes it seemed like the sky was full of stars that sparkled through the hazy glow of the Milky Way.

The fragile warmth of daytime had completely fled by now and Trowa wordlessly took his jacket off and wrapped Midii in it.  It felt so good wrapped in the soft old leather, warm from his body and smelling of him.  He helped her on the back of his motorcycle the way they had always escaped together, from the tragic ground of their first separation and from her ill-fated mission in Brussels.  It was so different this time.  He savored the feel of her body pressed against his, her breath warm as it penetrated the thin white cotton shirt he wore.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was a most beautiful night to be with the one you loved.  A sky sparkling with countless stars and the hint of a cool breeze left over from the recently-departed winter to make the temperature perfect for cuddling.

But they were separated by walls, the wall between her room and his, the wall of custom that dictated a bride and groom avoid each other the night before the wedding.

Dorothy flicked a strand of long blonde hair over her shoulder and turned back to the group of more than 30 chattering women.  For a moment, despite the reassuring buzz of their chatter she had felt so all alone. She smiled brightly and snatched a glass of champagne from Pagan's tray as he passed her by.  Relena was doing her best to stand in for the missing Midii (who was actually standing in for the pregnant diplomat as maid of honor) at the impromptu shower they had planned.  Rumor had it she and Trowa had disappeared on some type of romantic adventure.  The bride-to-be didn't even want to think that they might not make it back to Cinq on time.  But strangely that was the least of the many tiny last minute issues that added to her tension.  

Simply put she wanted to be with Quatre.  The week of separation had gone by without a hitch but now that he was here in the same house, even though that house was a huge palace, the temptation was too strong.  Besides, fears she had felt she'd long since conquered seemed to be swooping down and she was alone just when she needed him most.

A camera flashed in her face, one of her fiance's sisters was an amateur photographer it seemed and what a lovely discovery _that_ was, Dorothy thought sourly, trying to blink away the effects of the unexpected burst of light.  Then Hilde and Cathrine, mischievous grins plastered on their faces, escorted her to the chair of honor surrounded by stacks of pastel-papered gifts topped with shining ribbons.  It seemed like a horrible ordeal to be faced with all Quatre's sisters beaming at her sweetly like pleased mother hens.  Except Madame Yasmina of course, she glowered like a thundercloud.  To spite her, if for no other reason, Dorothy decided she would enjoy herself tonight, hopefully the last she'd ever spend without Quatre by her side.

"Be sure not to break too many ribbons," Cathrine warned, handing her an elaborately wrapped box.

The room erupted in titters as Dorothy raised a brow at the perky circus performer who stared at her with wide-eyed sincerity.

"Why ever not," Dorothy asked, obstinately slicing through the ribbons with the elegant letter opener she'd brought. The sharp object glinted in the light from the crystal chandelier overhead, it was shaped like a fencing foil and made of 24-karat gold and the young woman used with a certain relish.

"The legend is you'll have a baby for every ribbon you break," Hilde laughed.  "And you've busted five on that present alone. It's from me by the way."

That was foolish Dorothy thought, but she felt a bit nervous and vowed to be more careful on the rest of the gifts as she looked around the room at 28 faces that all bore more than a passing resemblance to Quatre.  30 children, imagine!

"Umm, it's lovely," Dorothy said, her voice faintly flavored with embarrassment as she held a sheer black nightie edged with ostrich feathers away from her at arm's length.  She peered into the box and saw a pair of matching slippers with 4-inch heels and also edged with fluffy ostrich feathers.

Hilde giggled.  "It's a lingerie party!  Everyone got you something sexy.  We decided that would be fun for the girl who has everything."

Dorothy's personal favorite turned out to be the elegant satin peignoir set from Relena, they definitely shared a sense of fashion favored by those with noble blood.  She suspected however that the combination gift from Midii and Cathrine would be Quatre's favorite, it certainly used the least fabric and she almost blushed at the thought of wearing it.  She smiled her first genuine smile of the evening as she thought how pleasant it might be to play harem girl on the honeymoon at Quatre's desert mansion . . . 

Carefully she opened the last package, a gift from Yasmina.  There was deadly silence in the room as she drew a billowing purple flannel nightgown bedecked with garish yellow roses from the box.  Somehow the disapproval the gift signaled made her miss Quatre all the more.  He would have known just what to say to make her take the horrible gift in stride.

Relena could see Dorothy starting to lose her temper, she knew the other girl so well.  She'd always know what was behind her outwardly vicious behavior during the war and she realized that she still wasn't completely ready for the new life she was about to begin.  It was too bad Quatre's sister didn't understand how perfect the two of them were for each other.  Dorothy rose with her pale violet eyes sparking purple fire.  Yasmina folded her arms and tried to stare her down.  

These two definitely need a peace accord, the vice foreign minister thought.  Relena's quick mind searched for an answer and she felt a vigorous kick that made her abdomen shudder.  "Hmm, you're already Mama's little helper, aren't you," she thought.  She picked up the gown and held it up in front of her.

"Do you mind if I keep this one Dorothy," she asked, modeling the flannel nightie as if it were a ball gown.  "I think it definitely suits my figure."

The party ended with laughter after all as Relena saved the day in her usual efficient manner.  There had been a time when Dorothy was envious of her ease in handling people.  For the most part though she preferred her own straightforward brand of sarcasm as a weapon in getting her own way.  Quatre's sisters said goodnight and she was left with just the other girls.

Cathrine and Hilde crawled over the floor picking up the stray paper and ribbons while Dorothy stacked the boxes.  "Just one more night," Relena said sympathetically, noticing Dorothy's slight aura of depression.  "Even though our wedding was so small even Heero and I stayed apart that last night."

All the girls looked up as the soft sounds of an expertly-played violin wafted in through the open balcony window.  Dorothy suddenly seemed to forget they were there and her face relaxed, the tension from the near showdown with Yasmina replaced by a dreamy look as the music grew stronger.  The other girls tiptoed out leaving her alone and she stepped out on the balcony.

Quatre stood in the center of a grouping of candles set out in the shape of a heart. His back was to her but she knew whom he was playing for.  She supposed technically this wasn't breaking the rules.  He must have known how she was feeling and his music always washed over her like a caress.  She lay back on the lounge chair on the balcony and Pagan quietly brought her another glass of champagne at Relena's urging.  

She stared up at the stars as he made love to her with his music and her body ached for tomorrow night.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yasmina strode through the damp, dewy grass with purposeful steps.  She had a word or two for her younger brother.  He might be head of the family in name but he was too young to take a step like this and with a woman like Dorothy Catalonia.  A mousy little girl was what he needed, one who would defer to her status as matriarch of the Winner Family.

She rounded furiously as someone laid a heavy hand on her shoulder as she passed by a dark corner of the palace, impeding her progress.

"I don't believe Master Quatre wishes to be disturbed," a deep, gravelly voice intoned, the words clear despite his whisper.

"How dare you tell me what to do," she hissed as she stared up at the tall man.  The odd thought that he must be approaching seven feet tall crossed her mind as she glared at him, trying to draw her own smaller frame up to a more imposing height.

"I've looked out for the young master for many years and I shall continue to do so, peace or no," Rasid said, a twitch of amusement coaxing a smile on his stern face.

"If you cared for your 'young master' you'd see that girl is a vixen and she'll bring him nothing but sorrow," Yasmina said.

Rasid's small smile became a full-fledged grin.  The grin was totally disconcerting to the angry woman whose arm he grasped so easily in his large hand.  

"You don't see," the tall Maganac said.  "He carries a burden.  All these boys carry a burden, all the soldiers from the war must carry it.  But Miss Dorothy can help him carry it because she knows how he feels.  She lived it with him.  Can't you see that Master Quatre finds his own happiness in making others happy? You truly do not know him."

The soft music of the violin carried over the garden as the two stared at each other, neither willing to back down.  Finally Yasmina growled low in her throat and she pulled her arm away and stalked off.

Happiness, she thought, the word echoing in her mind.  She had never even considered happiness.  All her life had been sacrificed for the family fortunes and ideals.

"Happiness," she whispered as she leaned against the warm bricks of the palace wall and closed her eyes.  The distant sound of her brother's playing evoking emotions and lost hopes she'd thought were long since buried.

Rasid stared after her.  She was so different than Master Quatre and yet she was not.  He smiled in memory of the spoiled boy he'd met so long ago on a shuttle in space.  His sister was like that still, her heart hurting and her soul longing for a sense of family that even having 28 sisters and a brother had not brought her.  The Winners had not been family like the Maganacs were family.  The children had been isolated and sent to the various satellites to learn the family business.  Master Quatre would run things in a far different manner than his father had.  He had learned from them, the family of his heart, the Maganacs.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The motorcycle seemed to fly over the dark country roads and Midii tightened her arms around Trowa's waist as the vehicle went airborne briefly and landed with a light bounce as they sailed over a hill.

They seemed to float through the starry darkness, but the sudden demanding touch of her slender fingers trailing up one of his thighs made the bike wobble and brought him down to Earth with a crash. Trowa swallowed hard as he felt moist kisses dampening the back of his shirt and the teasing nibble of her teeth.  They traveled a few hundred feet more before the wheel wobbled again and he knew he had stop before she drove him out of control.

The motorcycle sputtered into silence.  He didn't know where they were, didn't really care.  Midii shivered in excitement as her teasing finally achieved its goal.  She was starting to regret her aggressive behavior just a bit, they were in the middle of nowhere, the ground was cold and damp but neither of them really felt like waiting.  She stood in the starlight as Trowa rolled the bike off the road and leaned it up against an old gnarled tree.  Her knees trembled just looking at him so she turned away, examining her surroundings and noticed a dark, shadowy clump of old stone and tumbled walls in the distance.

Curious, she picked her way through the tall dewy grass, feeling its caress through her thin silk stockings and stumbling a little on her heels.  He was beside her then, his whisper warm against her skin.

"What is it?"

"An old ruin from the war I suppose.  There was a lot of fighting here on the outskirts of Cinq, if we're even still in the country," Midii said. The kingdom was so small it was easy to pass in and out without knowing.  She crossed her arms when she saw that Trowa had pulled a blanket from the boot of his motorcycle.  

"Did you plan this," her voice carried a hint of annoyance.  It hardly seemed the place for a romantic reunion, but with every touch of his lips and fingers her body throbbed with desperate passion.  She would hardly say no to a welcoming copse of trees at this point but the place ahead looked like it had a roof at least.

"Not exactly," he admitted.  "I just let the road take us."

He was unconventional but he was hers and she shivered with delight as he took her in his arms.

"I wouldn't change a thing," she whispered happily, slipping her hand beneath his shirt, tracing her fingers over the warm smooth skin beneath and smiling with feminine satisfaction as she felt the Goosebumps her touch raised on it.

He grasped her hand and pulled her along, suddenly impatient.  "If you hadn't started with the backbiting on the bike I think we might have found an inn or something up the road, but as it is—

She pulled away teasingly and walked ahead, swaying her hips in an exaggerated motion and looking over her shoulder at him.

"You liked that, hmmm?"

Midii shrieked with laughter as he swooped her up in his arms and carried her the rest of the way to what now appeared to be a small, ruined castle.  The doorway was clear of rubble and it looked as if local lovers had discovered the place as well.  Beneath a sagging ceiling a solid oak door stood untouched by the devastation.  The door opened easily as Trowa swung the handle and carried Midii over the threshold of the little room.

He set her down, his practiced eye immediately questioning the stability of the walls.

"Stay put," he ordered, his voice no-nonsense.  Midii nodded silently, hoping that they could stay.  The little room was a miracle, a tiny haven that had somehow been protected from the devastation of the war that had raged around it.  A beautiful old bed stood in the center of the room with dark wood spindles that reached toward the lofty ceiling.  A stone fireplace graced one wall and the mantel was decorated with delicate antique wineglasses that gleamed softly in the darkness.

"Is it safe," she whispered as Trowa returned to her.

"Amazing," he said, and she detected awe in his voice.  "It's like this room was separate from the main house.  Probably it was from an original building that was added on to in later years.  The new construction was destroyed but this part's as solid as a rock."

Others had obviously discovered the place.  There were empty wine bottles lying about and the majestic bed had a rumpled, well-used look but to them it seemed like their own private heaven.  Someone had even left dry wood in the fireplace.  Midii reached for one of the wineglasses and something dropped from the mantel.  Trowa reached out and caught the object automatically. Matches.

She straightened the old bed coverings as best she could and spread Trowa's blanket on top of it all.  The room was warm and softly lit with flickering firelight as the flames licked greedily at the old, dry wood.  She lit some candles that had been left on the table by the bed.  Midii toyed with the buttons on her dress and Trowa watched it seem to drop away from her almost magically.  

She shivered as he looked at her, his green eyes luminous in the soft glow of the fire. Midii thought that surely no other woman that had waited beside the bed in this room, as ancient as it was, could feel so much for her lover as she felt for Trowa. The way he moved made her stomach turn somersaults but it wasn't just the physical impact.  He had always captured her heart.  She hadn't been able to understand him completely when she was a child.  She had loved him almost immediately but his silences had hurt and frustrated her and her own guilt over what she had to do had confused her feelings.  But now he loved her back through some great miracle.  They were like this room, their love broken and destroyed by war but their hearts protected and waiting for each beneath the rubble like this beautiful room that had somehow been preserved.

Next time on POR . . . will Trowa and Midii make it back in time for the wedding . . . Dorothy gets some advice from a surprise wedding guest . . . can Diarmid love his enemy's sister?


	24. Chapter 24

The Price of Redemption

Chapter 24

By Midii Une

Yasmina held the delicately wrought silver necklace up to the light of the small bedside lamp.  The sparkling rainbow of pastel-colored gemstones glittered up at her evoking the memory of a sweet spirit and a tender smile.

Her eyes widened with surprise as she glanced in the mirror and caught a glimpse of the gentle expression her mother always wore reflected on her own face.  When had she turned from a sheltered and innocent girl to the stern businesswoman she was now?

She missed them.  Oh how she missed them all:  Mother, Father and especially dearest Iria, her beloved twin sister.  The pale blue aquamarines and soft purple amethysts sparkled gloriously in the light and in their radiance she felt a message.  Mother and Iria would not want her to treat Quatre this way no matter her feelings about this marriage.  She closed her eyes and wished fiercely for the guidance of those two sweet souls as she resolutely placed the necklace in a velvet box.

Quatre sat on the edge of the bed and reached down wearily to untie his brown oxfords.  He had just managed to shoo Duo away having listened to the other pilot's well-meant advice.  All he wanted was for tomorrow to come.  The waiting was so difficult but it would all be worth it and there was a lot to be said for anticipation. 

At the light sound of knock on the door he instantly wished he'd spent less time picturing Dorothy in her bed and had hurried to turn out the light.  With a sigh of resignation he stood and cracked the door to peek at the latest visitor, half-expecting Duo to have returned with just one more piece of advice.

"Yasmina…

Quatre stared at his sister, noticing that she looked uncomfortable and seemed at an uncharacteristic loss for words.  Finally she awkwardly thrust something into his hand and hung her head for a moment before speaking.

"This was Mother's, Father gave it to her before you were born.  It was designed especially for her.  I'm sorry for how I've acted; it's just that you're so young…  Well, anyway, I think you should have this, for Dorothy.  It's what Mother and Father would have wanted," his sister said, her words flowing swiftly and almost blending together so he could not quite understand them.  He held the little velvet box tightly in his hand for a moment as old, unwanted feelings crept up from hidden places in his heart.

Yasmina raised her eyes and looked closely at her little brother.  He did seem so incredibly young, the uncanny innocence of his turquoise eyes and his baby-soft, shining blonde hair.

In an instant he was pressing the necklace back into her hand, having barely looked at the beautiful object that was a link to their shared past, their lost parents.

"Thank you Yasmina, but you keep it. It's kind of you but I never knew Mother, I'm sorry.  I'm sure she loved you girls after you were born and she got to know you.  But I—I never got to see her.  How could I have meant anything to her…

Yasmina's stubborn temper flared and blazed back to life.  Why did it bother him so, she wondered, a sharp stab of jealousy piercing her heart.  He was mother and father's only _real _child, he was the one father kept with him while she and the others had been separated after mother died and raised on resource satellites learning how to be useful to the Winner Empire.  The only sisters she had ever grown to know well were Iria of course, who had died saving Quatre and Safira, who was almost like her own child.

Quatre was so mistaken about everything but she had promised, all of them had promised Father to keep silent.  How could they have known that it would hurt Quatre as much to believe he was not a naturally born child as it would have to know that his birth had cost mother her life.

She stole a last glance at his bent blonde head, the blue eyes dark with shadows as she clutched the necklace in her hand and navigated the dark hall back to her own room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Midii stirred restlessly, eyes snapping open suddenly from a disturbing dream that was already fading.  The place was dark and strange and she wrinkled her nose slightly at the strong, musty smell that rose from the damp old bed.  She rubbed her face on Trowa's warm chest, letting the fine hairs tickle her face.  He kept sleeping soundly, his mouth open slightly and she smiled against his skin thinking it must have been a once-in-a-lifetime party with the guys to make him sleep like this.  Usually only the slightest movement from her triggered his instincts and he was awake instantly.  Mischievously she picked up an end of her long blonde hair and tickled his cheek with it, stifling a giggle as he moved his head violently and snarled a name…Duo.

Her body shook with her silent laughter but he kept sleeping.  She raised her head and looked down on him in the dim light.  Midii smoothed her fingers over his stubbly cheek, enjoying the rough masculine feel of it.  Her gentle touch elicited no more strange outbursts so she leaned her chin on her hand and looked at him to her heart's content while she traced the lines of his face.  She felt that she loved him so much that it almost didn't seem quite right that they should be here together like this.  Deep in the back of her mind small doubts tried to reassert themselves and banish the happiness she had felt as he made love to her that night.

He deserved better than her, her conscience nagged relentlessly, remorse filling her that she had hurt him once.  He deserved a princess like Relena or someone strong and unyielding in their beliefs like Dorothy or someone who could fight beside him like Hilde.  His life had been so hard and what was she but one more hardship, one more worry…all she could offer was her love and even that she had marred by that one long-ago choice.  Thierry's innocent, happy face appeared in her mind and she closed her eyes tightly, knowing that she would make the same choice again if she could have gone back.  But not now, now she knew she would give her own life if only to keep the two of them safe, and Marc and Michel wherever they were…

"Stop it," she ordered herself, her voice a whisper. Trowa only wanted her to believe in them and she would. From now on she would always stay beside him and trust in his love.  Perhaps he did deserve better but fate had given him her and she would do her very best to see that he didn't regret his choice.

She opened her tightly clenched eyes to find him studying her from beneath his lashes.

"What were you thinking," he asked softly.  Midii sensed the suspicion and something like a note of nervousness in his voice.  Her own doubts and fears fled swiftly now that he was awake and she wasn't alone.  She steeled herself and made a conscious decision to speak honestly, biting back the comforting lie that rose automatically to her lips.

"I was thinking about you and my brothers.  I couldn't help but wonder what I would do now.  I could only think I'd rather die myself than let anything happen to any of you.  I was such a coward when I was young Trowa.  I'm so, so sorry I hurt you…

She gasped as his arms tightened around her violently.  "Don't, don't talk about dying," he whispered harshly in her ear, his rough skin scraping her face.  "I won't let it happen again.  I'll fight to protect you, that's why soldiers, that's why anyone, needs to fight--to protect the ones they love.  I learned that from all of you; Cathy and Quatre and especially you."

Midii wrapped her arms around his waist and nuzzled her face in his neck.  "I want to fight too.  I can't sit at home and wait, I want to be beside you in everything, it's what I've always wanted.  When we're apart it's like the best and strongest part of me is missing Trowa.  After summer's over let's go back to outer space and keep working for peace."

She could hear him grumble deep in his throat.

"If I said no, you'd probably go off and do it anyway unless I kept you chained to the bed," he said, his serious tone lightening as her hand slid softly from his chest to the top of his thighs.

Midii shrieked in surprise as he moved with her in his arms, pinning her beneath him and glaring down at her fiercely.

"No more secrets," he said sternly, fixing her with his emerald gaze.  "We'll discuss our future with Preventer later but for now just promise that nothing you choose to do will be secret from me."

"And you as well," she bit back quickly.

His brows lifted in surprise, but he only hesitated a second before nodding agreement.

"Mmm," Midii said lazily, squirming restlessly beneath the long body that pinned her against the musty sheets.  "But why can't we discuss it now?"

He captured her lips in a deep kiss, silently ending the discussion for the moment.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The soft sounds of water lapping at the pier, the bumping of a docking barge along with whispering voices carried up on the breeze and into the room where Dorothy dozed restlessly.

"There," she told herself, eyes flying open wide and her legs slipping swiftly over the side of the bed as she instantly came fully awake.  "It's officially morning if guests are arriving already."

The rosy light of dawn was in truth turning the gray sky pink with its light when Dorothy pushed aside the heavy draperies and the sheer curtains to reveal a specter from her past.

She barely noted Lucrezia Noin embracing old Pagan in a joyful hug before her eyes found the tall, blonde-haired man that stood apart from the two of them.  Apart from the world somehow as he had always been.  Dorothy's thoughts raced.  No surprise really that Relena would ask Noin and Milliardo to be here.

Relena had announced that after the wedding she would forever relinquish the lands and palace of the Cinq Kingdom as a public site for the Earth Sphere United Nation. It would be a place of learning again, a home for the important peace documents that were still being forged, a place for those who continued to hope for peace to visit on pilgrimages and to never forget the horror of war.  There were still ruins and remains of the terrible battle when the Cinq Kingdom fell a second time and Epyon had raged.  These Relena would leave as reminders of the waste caused by war, the destruction of beauty and of precious human life itself.

Dorothy and Quatre's wedding would be the last official ceremony held in Cinq under Peacecraft rule. After today it would all belong to the people of the United Earth Sphere.  And now Dorothy could see Milliardo Peacecraft staring up at the recreated palace of his troubled youth. His beautifully regal face was inscrutable as Relena and Heero slowly descended the long staircase to the river to meet Cinq's true king.  Dorothy felt a pang for this man and all he had lost and yet even he had dared to live again, to move on with someone who loved him with a legendary passion.  And as she looked down on the princely figure, the rising sun turning his hair to shining silver as his eyes continued to gaze upon his lost kingdom, she knew that here at last was someone who would truly understand her. She hummed softly to herself, relief and a sense of peace affecting her dark mood as she hurried to dress.

Only Milliardo heard the soft noise in the doorway of the lavishly appointed drawing room.  Lucrezia and Relena were sitting close together on a rose velvet sofa exclaiming over all the news about the upcoming baby in light, happy tones. By contrast he and Heero glowered at each other surreptitiously from the territory they'd staked out on either side of the burgundy velvet drapes. Neither knew what to say, old enemies as brothers now, brought together in this preposterous situation by the mighty and miraculous force housed in the delicate body of his little sister Relena Peacecraft.

A thin smile curved his lips as he noticed Dorothy spying on them all.  She hadn't yet lost her bold, intrusive ways and he had a quick memory of her confident approach to Libra during the war. Her confidence so palpable that he had been intrigued enough to invite her in.  She intrigued him again now, some of that confidence she'd always exuded seemed to be missing and he himself felt a sudden urge to be with one of his own kind.

Perhaps some day he and Heero—Heero Yuy his brother-in-law, he thought tightly—would forge some type of brotherly bond.  But that day seemed far away and he took the opportunity to slip away and follow Dorothy out into the garden.  Dorothy, who had fought beside him on Libra.  Dorothy who had shared those halcyon days of youth with Treize and himself on the vast Dermail estates.  Dorothy, who shared his prodigal and slightly tainted status among all these stellar soldiers and his sister who had fought for peace while they had taken a more indirect route.

But the world needed the efforts of all of us, he told himself, even now only partially believing in what he had done.  His actions during the war had been so at odds with his pacifist Peacecraft upbringing.  Milliardo wore a mask no longer; Zechs Merquise was buried in the grave beside Treize.  And yet sometimes he felt as if he wore it still as he casually strode up to Dorothy, who knelt in the dewy grass beside a clump of lily-of-the-valley.  They had been Queen Katerina's favorite flower, he recalled, a wave of nostalgia for his mother flooding his soul as he saw the dainty white flowers growing in abundance in this garden she would never see. A part of him wanted to stop Relena from giving all this away, part of him wanted to claim it as the king he should have been.  But the impulse died, he had given up those rights so long ago to the more suitable heir.  As always her gestures were the admirable ones that fit the occasion perfectly. His dear little sister, Relena.  He turned his attention back to the girl beside him.

"Something is troubling you Dorothy," he said, speaking suddenly without greeting, as if they had seen each other only moments before and years had not gone by since their last meeting.

She appreciated his lack of sentimentality and stood beside him, brushing the damp grass from her skirt.

"Does it never trouble you Mr. Milliardo, to have the love of someone like Noin?"

He raised a slender brow, barely discernible beneath his tumbling silver blonde bangs, but she noticed it and smirked in return.

"I must also wonder if I am doing Quatre a disservice by marrying him today.  A part of me wants to run back to my estates and curl up in bed away from the world, away from him," her voice broke suddenly.  "I hurt him Milliardo, I tried to kill him, I wanted to destroy all that awful, hurtful kindness before it could change me.  What if—

"It won't happen again," the man beside her said instantly, although he offered no other sympathy.  "You are a different person now, in a different world. Your heart guides you now, not the pain of loss or the manipulations of the ZERO system."

He gestured with a hand to where they could see Lucrezia and Quatre chatting on a balcony above them.  Dorothy turned away swiftly, suddenly not wishing to risk her luck with a glimpse of the one she ached to see.  But the quick vision turned her cheeks pink with pleasure and her eyes glistened.

"I understand," Milliardo said softly, continuing to let his own gaze rest on his wife above him. She had always stood above him, in loyalty and goodness and strength.  In his heart he believed he would never be good enough for her but he would never leave her side again.  He had promised and it was all he could give her.

"Perhaps we don't believe we deserve their love," he continued, as Dorothy looked down misty-eyed at the small white flowers. "But they have always been wiser and stronger than we have been and if they believe in it, it must indeed be so.  Who are we to question, all we can do is try our best to make them happy if we can."

Squealing tires and crunching gravel announced yet another arrival and Dorothy heard Quatre call Trowa's name in relief and she looked to see her missing maid of honor returned at last.

"Thank you," she said quietly as she walked past Milliardo back to the house, the confident bounce back in her step as she prepared to give Miss Midii a piece of her mind for abandoning her.  But she smiled as she walked away and the tall man behind her bowed slightly in acknowledgement.  He knew that Dorothy would be fine; he bent and picked one of the fragrant little flowers to give to Noin, smiling a bit in anticipation of her reaction.  She took such pleasure from each small show of devotion.  He knew that he would renew his own vow today along with Dorothy and Quatre to make her happy for the rest of her life.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Under Lady Une's and Sally's joint command the Preventer officers on hand at the wedding were dressed in formal attire to blend in with the guests and dignitaries present.  They wanted nothing to jar the peace and beauty of this wedding day in Cinq, a symbolic union of Earth and outer space although no one said it directly.  Dorothy was one of the highest ranking nobles left on the planet and Quatre Winner was himself the uncrowned prince of outer space, his influence in the colonies nearly unparalleled with his vast business holdings and status as an upcoming young diplomat.  This marriage was yet another tie that the Earth Sphere United Nation wanted to hold up as a shining example of the peace they had managed to protect so carefully over the last brief years.   Each day it seemed to take stronger hold and become more of a reality than a precious dream.

But as long as the generation who had fought and lost loved ones lived there would always be a river of discontent roaring along in the background. Diarmid Walker kept his bright blue eyes averted from the groom.  Just looking at Winner started an ache in the pit of his stomach, a sickening mixture of anger and sorrow.  The visions of his brother's mobile suit exploding over and over in the awful grip of the Gundam Sandrock's wickedly curved heat shorters played in his mind until he gripped his fists tightly, his knuckles white from the pressure.  He shouldn't have come here, he shouldn't have come…

A soft touch brushed his hand and he shook himself almost visibly.  Lost in his thoughts he had missed seeing Midii pass, already the Bridal March was swelling on the breeze and everyone in attendance stood.  She must have touched his hand with her own for encouragement as she walked by and as he gazed after her slender figure she peeked over her shoulder at him and smiled understandingly.  He held on to that vision, steeling himself against the horrible day to come.  When his security shift was over he would claim the dance she had promised and then he would leave and find a welcoming pub, there had to be one around here somewhere and he could drown his sorrows.

The tall and haughty blonde bride swept by him in a swirl of creamy ivory satin and expensive antique lace.  Around him the crowd hushed as the ceremony began.  

Diarmid did smile a bit when the agent behind him leaned in close and whispered conspiratorially.  "Did you know she ran him through once with a saber during the war?  Brave man to marry a woman like that, but of course he was a Gundam Pilot."

Diarmid nodded, silently applauding her for stabbing the guy, and continued sweeping the crowd, his mind bent on his duty.  He took Midii's advice and ignored Quatre, carefully watching instead those he wanted to protect.  His blue eyes focused on Midii first, her shining blonde hair crowned with spring flowers. She looked like a princess in her ice blue dress with the formal gold sash.  He tracked Lady Une and Sally with his watchful gaze. The two commanders looked nothing like Preventers today in their feminine, garden-party attire.  And often he kept checking on the Vice Foreign Minister.  She looked so serene and happy with her hand laid gently on the swell of her stomach.  Queen Relena, the one constant for all of them, the one that everyone here today --former Alliance, former OZ and former rebel--could truly believe in.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Quatre felt his cheeks flush hot under the bright spring sunshine.  He knew his smile was ridiculously huge but he couldn't help it as he looked around him at everyone he cared about.  He could feel Trowa behind him, sensing his strength as he always had from that first moment they had met that fateful day in Corsica.  From the corner of his eye he could glimpse Abdul and Auda and the others tricked out in unfamiliar black tuxedoes and looking stiff and uncomfortable.  Just beyond Dorothy he could see Midii beaming and casting adoring glances beneath her long dark lashes at Trowa. Realizing the happiness on her face must be a mirror of his own Quatre decided he should just stop worrying about how he looked.  There was no shame in glowing as she did.

How far away seemed that day when he had known Midii as Isabela.  He remembered her tears when he had confessed his own thwarted love for Dorothy and neither of them believed then they would ever find this kind of happiness.  He had every right to smile.

His smile dimmed a bit though, as he reluctantly followed up the happy thoughts with memories of how he might have lost them all. The Maganacs on his daredevil trip to the sun to retrieve the Gundams; Trowa after he'd attacked the Vayeate under the influence of the ZERO system; the awful pain in his heart when he had looked down at Midii in the colored light of the little chapel in Brussels and he had believed she was dead; the same pain when Heero had self-destructed during the war.  He let his eyes find the other pilot in the front row beside Relena.  He especially remembered begging Trowa to help Dorothy on Libra, to save her instead of him; even then his heart had felt a deep pull.  But Trowa had known she had to save herself if she was to find any peace.  And now here they all were today.  The smile returned.

Somehow they were all still here, those dearest to him and his sisters for whom he felt honest fondness and deep responsibility.

Dorothy was looking at him oddly, he hadn't been paying attention.  She belonged here in this beautifully stylized garden, each hedge and flower carefully tended and precisely positioned.  The dress she wore was a Catalonia heirloom, the heavy silk had a rich ivory tint slightly yellowed with age and it's slim skirt clung to her figure like a glove before widening into a lace and satin train that spread out over the stone terrace where they stood.  Tiny seed pearls gleamed enticingly on the bodice and there were more of the little gems tangled in the delicate lace that trailed charmingly from the snug three-quarter sleeves almost to her knees.

A gentle breeze played with her long white-blonde hair and teased back her veil a bit so it floated around her as if moved by the aura of her powerful personality.  The color of her eyes as they stared into his matched the very tint at the edges of the canopy of blue sky that covered them. In his heart the words of the ceremony were redundant anyway.  He looked at her and saw the woman he knew was hidden deep inside her step to the forefront and gaze back at him with unconditional love.  For a second he paused and desperately prayed that he would never fail her or take this hard-won love for granted.  Then they spoke as one,

"I do."

Dorothy stepped back a little and looked at Quatre, her husband.  The sun shimmered through the new leaves on the trees enveloping him in a golden nimbus of diffused light that lent an unreal glow to his blonde hair and his pure aqua eyes.  They stood face to face and she felt almost as if they were alone, as if their friends and family had faded off into some misty place where they could not touch them.

"From now on it is the two of us.  We have each other to be lover and friend and our own family", she thought.  She was overwhelmed by a feeling of peace and rightness that made her want to laugh at all the silly fears that had plagued her in the past.

Dorothy felt a grin break over features, an expression she hadn't felt since she was a child and had run through gardens such as these to show her father a flower or pretty stone she had found.  Her bright laughter had a new note in it floated on the soft air as Quatre twirled her in his arms and kissed her fiercely in celebration.

They were finally man and wife.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"The little miracle girl," Anderson said with a grin, lifting Midii off her feet as he approached her in the receiving line.  "Sometimes I can't believe Sally really pulled you through."

"Jack is planning to set up a private practice on L1," Sally confided with satisfaction.  "You know we always need more M.D.'s on the colonies."  The cheerful Belgian doctor took the opportunity to look searchingly into Midii's blue-gray eyes.  

"How're the headaches young lady," he asked, brushing a finger softly over the fading scar at her hairline.  "And how often? Monthly? Weekly? Every few days?"

"Maybe twice a month now," Midii stammered, looking uncomfortable and feeling Trowa's hand tightening on her arm.  She wished Sally's date hadn't brought up the accident, she wanted to forget it today and she didn't want Trowa to think about it either.  Her eyes lit with cunning and mischief as she looked up at the man who had helped save her life.

"But let me congratulate on your move to outer space! Does this mean you're going to make an honest woman out of our Sally," Midii asked more loudly than necessary, her voice innocent, her sparkling eyes wide and guileless. 

"My what a leading question," Sally answered for her embarrassed escort, but she winked at the younger girl.  "I'll tell you what Midii I'll fight you for Dorothy's bouquet. With these two stubborn bachelors we need all the luck we can get."

"No fair," Midii teased back.  "You're so much taller you're sure to win and I'll be stuck as a dreary old spinster."  

She cast a glance at Trowa to see the effect of her words but he was talking over her head to Quatre and Heero and she pouted a bit.  As touched and surprised she had been to see Thierry at the ferry a part of her had secretly hoping that Trowa's surprise would be an engagement ring.  But Trowa had always been unique, he knew that reuniting with her brother would be more important to their relationship than a mere ring. She shrugged philosophically as Cathrine and Wufei came up to them.  He loved her and that was all that mattered she told herself but she wondered what could possibly be holding him back from formalizing their relationship.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"You are incredible," Heero breathed in Relena's ear as she tugged his hand softly and led him into the enormous white tent set up in the largest of the kingdom's gardens.  The dim interior was a fairyland of white and gold.  Golden chandeliers dangled from a support that ran the length of the white canvas and tiny golden lights twinkled amidst yards and yards of white and ivory tulle that was draped over the walls and entranceways.  The scent of thousands of exotic orchids and lilies sweetened the air with their heady scent.

"Well I can hardly claim credit for this Heero," she smiled.  "I must congratulate Pagan and the staff, it is absolutely lovely, just as I always dreamed."

"Relena," he whispered, and she gazed up into his piercing dark blue eyes.

"No," she said in a tired voice, one that had repeated these same words over and over before.  "I am _not_ sorry we were married in the mayor's office in Bonaficio.  I didn't need all of this to be truly married to you, Heero.  I didn't want to wait to be your wife."

She tiptoed to kiss him and smiled softly as he grunted to himself, making a short noise of disbelief.  Perhaps he'd never believe it, but it was true.  The trimmings were unimportant, and although it had been wonderful to do this for Dorothy and Quatre's benefit, she did not regret in the least the private ceremony she had shared only with Heero.

To her delight he took advantage of their brief moment alone to pull her up against him and deepen the kiss.  She sighed as he held her close.  Too quickly the harsh, intrusive sound of a throat clearing broke the moment and Relena glanced over Heero's shoulder to see Duo waving frantically from the opening.

"Cut it out you two, the real newlyweds are coming," he flashed them a look of mock annoyance, then winked and grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing tray.  A pair of red, ripe, raspberries floated decadently in each crystal flute of the sparkling golden liquid.

When everyone had entered and settled in the delicate white chairs Relena stood. She had volunteered to welcome everyone here to her kingdom and by now public speaking came with ease and was something she thoroughly enjoyed.  She looked out over all the faces in the crowd, waiting until the talking and laughter had hushed before beginning to speak the words she had prepared.

"I know we can never forget the wars that have passed away into history or those we have lost, many of the people of this beautiful kingdom which tomorrow will become a shrine to peace for all time in honor of my parents, the former rulers," Relena said, her voice soft but strong enough to be heard throughout the gathering.  "We have also lost many others who are dear to us and should be here at this happy time.  Some of us have, had to do sacrifice even our goodness to bring about peace but now, in the words of a far better orator than myself, 'the better angels of our nature' can shine through at last.  I have a letter here, written during the war.  Perhaps it was one of the things I should not have done, the letter was not intended for me but I read it and it has become an inspiration and comfort to me and I find myself turning back to it often.  I wish to share it with all of you here today. It is the spirit of our new world, the Earth Sphere United Nation."

The room quieted to a hushed silence as Relena began to read:

"I was very surprised by the suddenness of your visit. So, I couldn't convey what I was thinking very well. That is why I am writing this letter. Don't suffer from the regret of your mistake in the battle. Noventa and Ventei died in order to create a world for pure young people like you to live in peace. No regrets. This is war. Everybody regrets their own mistakes. However, you are still young. Think about a peaceful future. We were very glad to see you. I hope that peaceful future will come soon. My dear Heero Yuy."

With the perfect timing of a seasoned politician, Relena let her words sink in before speaking again.

"This was written by the widow of Alliance Forces Field Marshal Noventa to my husband Heero.  Our time has come and I wish for all of you what this courageous woman wished for Heero and for all those who fought for peace.  We must have no regrets now and must all participate fully in the peaceful future that has been attained by all of us."

The room roared with applause and cheers as Relena sat down.

"Thank you Miss Relena," Quatre said, standing.  She smiled at his beaming face and sighed a bit that he still insisted on calling her Miss Relena after all the time they had known each other.

Dorothy swept over to her, not content with mere words of gratitude, and bent and kissed her friend, squeezing her shoulders tightly in a fierce embrace.

There was a bit of the old twinkle of battle in her eye.

"Let us hope to see these words ring true for years to come," Dorothy whispered.  She could not resist adding.  "Still I hope there'll still be a few rough spots along the way, I do so enjoy watching you handle them."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Wufei glanced at Cathrine, sipping daintily at her glass of champagne.  His face remained stern and unsmiling but he congratulated himself on how lovely she looked.  She wore a silvery white dress with slender shoulder straps and the soft material floated around her like a cloud.  He remembered she had been wearing something like it in Corsica when he had watched her covertly and first noticed he was attracted to her, her sweetness and her femininity.

Things had gone on like this between them long enough, he thought.  He was a man of honor after all and it had nagged at him for quite some time that there relationship deserved to be taken to another level.  He could feel a small weight in the inside pocket of his dark jacket and decided the time had come to make his intentions known.

"C'mere," he heard her whisper huskily, mischief glimmering in her pale violet eyes.

He glanced around quickly to be sure no one, especially Maxwell, was looking.  He leaned closer and kissed her, feeling her lips smile beneath the touch of his.  He could taste the fizz of the sparkling wine on her lips as they opened beneath the pressure he exerted on them.

Now was the time, he thought, when the kiss was over he would ask….

With a soft laugh Cathrine pushed the ripe raspberry she'd been holding in her mouth into Wufei's.  She wrapped her arms around his waist, smiling at the surprise on his face. 

"Isn't it sweet," she asked, kissing him soundly on the cheek, watching his surprise at her unexpected lover's gesture.

He flushed hotly, knowing he wanted to be with her forever.  This wonderful, beautiful, woman who never took him to seriously and taught him the joys of love and laughter.

He took her small, pale left hand in his own.

"Cathy," he whispered in her ear, the other hand fumbling in his jacket.  "My Cathrine…

No, he groaned silently, looking up to see Midii and Sally looking at them quizzically.  They were tugging on Cathrine's arms.

"Cathyyyyyyyy," Midii cajoled.  "Dorothy's going to throw the bouquet.  Aren't you coming?  Weren't you paying attention?"

Wufei slumped in his seat as he watched Cathrine disappear into the garden with the two other girls.  He scowled at Midii's retreating back, that girl always did have the worst timing.  However, if all went as planned, he would have Cathrine all to himself and they would no longer be subject to the never-ending, tumultuous adventures of Midii and Trowa!

Standing in the sunlit garden Safira Winner's cheeks were pink with excitement and her aquamarine eyes sparkled like the stones in her sister Yasmina's necklace.  Most of Quatre's sisters had crowded into the small grassy space where Dorothy planned to toss her bouquet.  But not Yasmina of course.  She felt herself above such a ridiculous display of superstition.

"I'm positively overwhelmed by Miss Winners," Sally whispered to Midii and Cathrine as the three stuck together in the crowd of single girls all anxious for a chance at the big prize.

A member of the hired orchestra came out to the garden and blew a short trumpet fanfare and Quatre handed Dorothy carefully up a small gilded stepladder to give her better leverage.  Cathrine squeezed Midii's hands and whispered to her.

"Oh I hope you catch it!  I was sure Trowa would have asked you by now but he's always been difficult, it took me almost a year merely to get a smile out of him!"

"I feel lucky," Midii said confidently as Dorothy caught her eye in a meaningful glance before turning to make the fateful throw.  Quick as a wink the small bunch of flowers flew through the air as all the girls watched it silently for a split second before erupting into a squealing, thronging mass.

"Yikes," Hilde exclaimed, standing next to Relena and the other married women on the sidelines.  "Makes me glad I'm not out there."  

Midii felt the tickle of silky, satin ribbon slide tantalizingly through her fingers.  Dorothy's aim had been true but she couldn't stand her ground.  The flowers bounced out of her grasp and out into the madding crowd

"Oh!"

Everyone looked to see Cathrine standing in the center of the group holding the small bouquet of pale pink and ivory rosebuds.  The ends of the ivory satin ribbon trailed down into the grass as she looked at the flowers as if wondering where they'd come from.  There was a smattering of applause and a few audible groans of disappointment as the girls dispersed.

Quatre handed Dorothy down from her perch, leading her behind a convenient hedge for a bit of privacy before the guests could catch up with them.

"Can I tempt you to make a run for it," Dorothy murmured wickedly in his ear as her hands disappeared beneath the charcoal gray tailored morning coat he wore.

Quatre shook his head as he bent to kiss her.  "What am I going to do with you Dorothy," he asked.

She raised a brow and wrapped her arms around his neck, savoring the brief moment before they would be discovered.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Better luck next time," Trowa said serenely, trying not to laugh at Midii's expression as he pulled her hand through the curve of his arm.  She looked like a child who'd just found out there was no Santa Claus.  "Come on, I'll get you a glass of champagne instead," he added as he led her back into the tent.

"Aren't they lovely," Cathrine said softly, holding the flowers out almost shyly for Wufei to examine.  He brushed his fingers silently over the delicate petals, feeling unable suddenly to meet her eyes.  What if she should say no?  Buried fear and shame flickered inside as he suddenly thought of Meiran.  He had been a disappointment to her and it had taken years for him to escape the memory of her scornful ghost, the guilt of allowing his wife to die in battle.  Cathrine was so very different, but she had her own brand of strength, ferocious as a lioness when those she loved were threatened.

For the second time he took her small hand in his and dared to look down into those gentle lavender eyes.

"Cathrine—

Instead of a demure smile from his beloved Wufei found himself looking at a pair of mischievous violet eyes and a wide grin that could only be described as naughty as Duo stuck his head bravely between the romantic pair.

"You're in for it now Wufei," Shinigami said, laughter in his voice as he noted the irritation in his friend's jet black eyes.  "According to the rules you two have to be the next to get married.  Thought I'd never see the day.  Be sure you invite me to the wedding!"

Cathrine smiled and shook her head at Duo's antics, her auburn curls bouncing on her shoulders.

She hurried to reassure Wufei that she hadn't caught the bouquet with any intention of claiming her traditional rights.

"We are perfectly happy just the way things are. Catching some silly flowers doesn't mean he has to marry me.  It's rather fun just being together without all the formality, isn't it?"

She kissed Wufei soundly on the cheek, leaving a perfect imprint of her soft red lipstick on his skin.

"Ha!" Duo said, pouncing on Cathrine's words.  "Sounds to me like a very polite rejection Wufei! Take my advice Cathy and don't let him tie you down."

Duo noticed Wufei's face turn red and a spark in his black eyes.

"Gotta dash," he said, turning swiftly on his heel before the other man could speak his mind.

Cathrine shook her head again and sighed, Wufei could smell the familiar fragrance of her shampoo as her hair moved about her shoulders and pulled her close in a swift embrace, burying his nose in the soft ruddy curls and inhaling deeply.

"Was there something you wanted to ask me a moment ago," she asked, looking up into inscrutable black eyes.

She felt him shake his head as he hid his face against her hair and she smiled to herself a bit as she felt the pressure of a suspicious square 'something' in the breast pocket of his jacket as he held her close.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rasid watched Miss Yasmina wander off among the fragrant beds of bright spring flowers away from the others.  He saw her hand reach up to play nervously with the necklace that sparkled around her slender, swanlike neck.  In the warm sunlight her hair shone like pure gold and the heat added a flush to her pale cheeks.

She was so slim and delicate he felt as if a touch from him could hurt her and yet last night when he had held her arm in his hand, his fingers closing around her fine-boned wrist she had not even flinched.

This intriguing woman reminded him very much of Master Quatre when he had first met him, a bit arrogant and spoiled but the hard exterior was only a shell that sheltered someone who could so easily be hurt by the world.

The tall soldier, a leader of men, felt suddenly awkward and unsure of how to proceed.  She was like a princess.  Yasmina Winner was proud and aristocratic.  But she was a Winner, and to Rasid that gave her every right to be so.

As he hesitated in flustered indecision his opportunity to approach her was lost.

A tall shadow fell over Yasmina making her turn slowly to discover the source.  What she saw made her heart catch and almost skip a beat.

He was a prince straight out of a fairy tale.  Beautiful eyes of the most astonishing shade of azure gazed at her intently and his hair was like a waterfall of pure, shining light, so pale a blonde it was almost white.  It fell gracefully about his shoulders and down to his waist like a mantle of royalty.

For a moment Yasmina felt as giddy and young and hopeful as Safira. She could feel her skin burning hot and she unconsciously put her hand to her face to feel the heat and convince herself this was actually happening.  She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.

He was taking her hand in his and gently he lifted her fingers to his lips, placing upon them the barest of kisses.

"Miss Winner?"

She nodded, her voice still trapped in her constricted throat.  She felt an odd sense of loss as he dropped her hand.

"I am Milliardo Peacecraft.  It's a pleasure.  I hate to interrupt this family occasion but my stay on Earth will not be long and I wonder if I might persuade you to discuss a bit of business with me.  You see we're not having the success we hoped on our Mars Terraforming project and I am certain you could be of help.  I'd like to discuss the possibility of our recruiting at Winner Industries with your permission…

The rest of his mundane words filtered off into a haze of disappointment.  Business, always business. It was all Father had cared for after Mother died, it seemed it was all anyone cared for.  Would anyone ever care only for her, she wondered.  Would anyone ever look at her as Quatre looked at Dorothy?

Forcing her mind back to his proposition she consented to investigating the possibility of sending a contingent from Winner Industries to become involved in the colonization project.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Trowa held back the trailing, leafy green branches of a budding weeping willow tree and Midii ducked beneath his arm.  The emerald-tinged light surrounded them and the sheltering branches muted the sounds of the celebration just a few feet away.  A rustic little bench made of twisted branches sat beneath the spreading tree as if it had grown there and Midii sat down upon it with a sigh and sipped her champagne. She shut her eyes and breathed in the fresh outdoorsy scent.

When she opened her eyes the sight of him nearly took her breath away.  His eyes seemed to glow and capture all the green light in the secret place.  Her mouth felt dry as she felt him take the glass from her hand and set in on the ground.  His hand slid around her waist and at the pressure of his fingers she found herself leaning closer and closer never taking her eyes off those shining green orbs that stared into hers. With a hungry moan she felt him kiss her, her lips parting eagerly to receive his kiss.  Midii's skin tingled as his hands slid softly up and down her bare arms.

His mouth traveled from her lips to the skin beneath her ear and lingered tantalizingly on her forehead as his hand reached up to tangle themselves in the loose, silky curls that hung down her back.

She rested her head on his shoulder, both of them knowing this was only a momentary escape, they would be missed soon.  Midii felt she wanted to stay here forever in this solitary, peaceful spot, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath her cheek and his breath on her hair and his hand moving against her back.  She tightened her arms around his waist and pressed herself nearer until she smelled the heady scent of the rose on his lapel being crushed by their closeness.

"**_"_**_N'oublies jamais que je tu est mien et je suis tienne_."_*_," she whispered in his ear, pulling herself up on her knees on the little bench so she was looking down on him a bit.  She brushed back his hair and looked at his face before hugging him close again so that his head rested against her heart.

Midii shivered as she felt the touch of his lips against the delicate skin that peeked over the top of her dress, his seeking hands moving easily over the smooth pale blue fabric of her gown.  Her pulse raced as he brought her wrist up to his mouth and she felt him suckling gently at the sensitive skin there raising goosebumps on her bare upper arms.

"I have something for you," he said suddenly, and she pulled back a bit, looking at him curiously.  

Her heart caught in her throat as she watched him pull aside his jacket and reach into his pocket.  She saw the glitter of gold and diamonds and for a second everything blurred and the word "yes" formed on her lips before he could even speak.

"You dropped this in the garden before," Trowa said, sliding the bangle bracelet over her wrist gently.  "I think it's a little bit big for you, be more careful Midii."

She looked down dumbly at the shining gold and tiny sparkling diamonds of the bracelet Dorothy had given her as a gift that morning.

"Thank you for finding it for me," she whispered, hiding her face and her disappointment against his neck.

"I couldn't keep my eyes off you," he whispered back and she scolded herself for wanting too much too fast.  Life was certainly perfect just as it was, here in this peaceful green bower with the one she had always loved.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Next time on Price of Redemption…yet _another_ chapter!…will this fic _ever_ end?…Milliardo continues recruiting Martian colonists…Diarmid sings O_o…somebody _finally_ pops the question…Dorothy proves her worth to Yasmina…the story ends, well, except for the epilogue, I think…no seriously, stay tuned for Chapter 25—The End!!

*"Always remember that you are mine and I am yours." (Grand merci Little Green for the proper translation!!)

Author's Note: Apologies for the delay and thanks for your patience and gentle reminders ^_^  The next part should be up soon and is already nearly complete.  If the Dorothy and Milliardo scene reminded you a bit of _A Corner of Her Heart_ it's because that fic was inspired by ideas for this one and was sort of a test run.


	25. Chapter 25

The Price of Redemption

Chapter 25

By Midii Une

"Trowa!"

Midii felt a tiny flutter of jealousy as she heard his name called by a husky, female voice.  The woman seemed no stranger and she walked up to them confidently, her expression as she studied Trowa warm and happy.  She was tall and curvaceous and made the younger girl feel positively flimsy in comparison. To Midii's relief a man, who was certainly just as gorgeous as his companion, followed her close behind.  But then her own eyes widened and her skin paled.

The Lightning Count.

"Barton," Milliardo said curtly as he nodded to Trowa as Noin continued to beam at the young couple.  Then his eyes slid slowly over Midii.  "Miss Une!  You survived the hostilities.  I'm pleased to see such a talented young lady again."

"You've met Midii," Trowa asked, his voice hiding his surprise.

"Well," Milliardo began, wondering suddenly if 03 knew whom, exactly, he was involved with. "I don't want to give away any secrets but we met briefly before Operation Meteor when the Alliance and OZ were still cordial."

"We have no secrets between us," Midii said, lifting her chin and meeting Milliardo's gaze.  "Trowa is aware of my position with the Alliance, Zechs Marquise."

"Forgive me for being astonished, my apologies for doubting you," Milliardo said, bowing slightly.  "But one hardly expects to find a Gundam Pilot and an Alliance spy on such intimate terms.  Peace creates strange bedfellows though.  My sister and Yuy for instance, but they seem happy enough as do Dorothy and Winner."

"If my rudeness can be forgiven perhaps the both of you would let me try to persuade you to join us on the Mars Terraforming project.  We've made quite a bit of headway but a pair of young people such as yourselves with your unique talents would be valued highly," he continued quickly, anxious to pose his request.

Trowa saw Midii's eyes darken in consternation, he knew she had no desire to go to Mars.  She was happiest on Earth, tolerated the colonies if she could be close to him and Cathy.  

"Thank you, but we're not interested," he said tersely, feeling the warm approving squeeze of her hand in his.

The girl's pretty eyes gave Noin an uneasy feeling.  She kept glancing over to study them curiously as the pair spoke with Zechs.  Such a beautiful color, not true blue but a unique and changeable shade that couldn't really be described.   Sometimes when the light was just right she had seen the ocean off the Italian coast glowing with the same amazing hue.  And yet Lucrezia was certain she had seen eyes like these before.  She shook herself mentally and tuned back into the conversation.  Trowa had a cold look in his eyes and obviously only politeness was preventing an outburst.  Noin stepped closer, putting a slender hand on each man's arm and smiling brightly.

"Now Zechs, please relax and enjoy the day.  We're here for a month and that's plenty of time to recruit colonists.  It seems like Trowa has plans for the future already and you know it's useless to argue with one of these boys when their decision has already been made," she said coaxingly, her voice pleasant but her indigo eyes giving her husband 'the look' that had been perfected by wives over the centuries.

But Milliardo persisted.

"I'm surprised at you Noin.  Don't you think he should let Miss Une make her own decision?  It's a wonderful opportunity and she at least should give it thought.  I realize more than most that the Gundam pilots are stubborn people."

He looked at Trowa meaningfully and with a touch of humor he spoke again in a voice that was almost a whisper.

"The most persistent and annoying in the universe perhaps.  But with all that said I don't see a ring on this lovely young lady's finger and in my book that means she should be able to make her own selfish decisions concerning her future.  It would be rather chauvinistic of 03 to speak for her—

"I'll remind you that I have a name I prefer to be called and the term 03 is obsolete since HeavyArms has been destroyed," Trowa said icily, drawing an astonished Midii closer in a protective gesture.  "Midii will always be at my side.  Always.  I know that she has no desire to live on Mars and you forget to mention the hardships of initial colonization.  If she decide to go I would follow her even there.  But we have family here and we're staying in the Earth Sphere.  It's home."

"Let me put your concern for my missed opportunity to rest by assuring you of my complete agreement with Trowa's decision," Midii said.  "He understands my desires entirely."

Trowa flushed at her choice of words and from the touch of the small hand that had slid discreetly into one of the front pockets of his pants.

"If you'll excuse us," he said awkwardly, between gritted teeth. "It was good to see you again Miss Noin.  I wish you luck."

As Milliardo stared after the departing couple in disappointment Noin turned her thoughts back to the mystery of Midii's eyes.  And then a memory flashed.  Those same eyes in a thin and dirty boyish face.

"Mike! That's it," she exclaimed out loud.

"That half-starved boy who showed up as a stowaway away on the last transport that arrived," Milliardo asked, looking at Noin curiously.  "Why do you mention him now?"

"His eyes," she whispered.  "His eyes are just like that girl's."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The party was winding down and the dance floor was nearly empty.  The bride and her friends sat together at the long table with their shoes off talking over the events of the day eagerly; munching on the delicious pastry and sipping the last of the champagne.  Dorothy tried to catch Quatre's eye hoping they could escape at last.  She never wanted this day to end and yet she had hardly slept the last few nights and she wanted very much to be tucked into the luxurious feather bed and let him pamper her with his kisses and those hands that knew her so well.

"Did you look like that on your wedding day," Midii asked Hilde smiling, as they looked at Dorothy's dreamy face.  

Hilde nodded blissfully but to Midii's despair she followed the thought with a question of her own, a question that had seemed to follow the unlucky bridesmaid wherever she went today.

"When are you and Trowa going to get mar—

The little brunette's voice was cut off by a sudden hoarse cheering from the Maganacs.  "Play for us Master Quatre! Play for us!"

The orchestra leader bowed to the groom, who had been talking in a corner with the other pilots.  The fair-skinned young man flushed as the rowdy troop of Arabians whistled and hooted and he slowly mounted the steps to the stage where one of the violinists offered him use of his instrument.

The violin sang out, low and sweet, a slightly melancholy air as violin music tended to be but with a hint of humor and sweetness too.  Quatre smiled in satisfaction when the lovely fluid notes of Trowa's flute sounded high above the song of his violin.

Midii sighed and leaned her chin on her hands, closing her eyes to listen to them drowsily when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"May I have this dance?"

"Diarmid," she smiled, holding out her hand.  "I thought you'd forgotten and already left."

"Never, my dear lady," he said, kissing her fingertips.  She drew back a little at the scent of whiskey on his breath and Hilde looked at her questioningly.

"Just one won't hurt," Midii mouthed to her friend as Diarmid led her out on the floor.  They weren't the only ones dancing.  She fluttered her fingers at Sally and Anderson and she noticed that even Lucrezia and Milliardo were swaying together softly in a corner, looking into each other's eyes.  So Noin had finally squelched Zechs' quest for colonists, at least for a moment, Midii thought in amusement.

"He plays a pretty tune, I'll give him that," Diarmid said, tilting his head toward Quatre.  Midii looked toward the stage and blew Trowa a kiss, wrinkling her nose at him as he frowned at her and one of his notes caught.

"My father would sing a song to Mother sometimes, before Sean died," Diarmid added, anxious to reclaim her attention.  "But after my brother went he never sang again.  This tune is something like it though, I wonder if I can remember the words?"  
  
Midii looked up at him worriedly.  He wasn't really going to sing, was he?

She felt the weight of his cheek against her hair and his arm tight around her waist. Everyone turned to look at them as he started his song.

I wish I was in Carrickfergus 

_Only for nights in Ballygrand_

_I would swim over the deepest ocean_

_The deepest ocean, my love to find_

Those blue eyes bore into hers desperately as he sang about swimming the deepest ocean and she turned her face into his shoulder as she felt herself turning red.  He backed off a bit, grinning down at her and singing again in a strong tenor that blended perfectly with Quatre's violin. The music subtly echoed the Celtic undertones in the song.

But the sea is wide and I cannot swim over 

_Nor have I wings so I could fly_

_If I could find me a handsome boatman_

_To ferry me over, my love and I_

He twirled her expertly and in the back of his head he noticed that now the violin music followed his song perfectly and a hush had fallen over the remainder of the party.  He glanced at his enemy with distrust in his eyes but the other man's eyes were closed as he sensed the music and picked up the tune from Diarmid's singing.  Trowa had put down his borrowed flute now and was giving him a very odd look and he knew his dance with Midii was almost over.  He had to forget her and find someone he could love.  But he tilted her chin with his finger to make her look at him and sang a bit more.

_Now in Killkenny it is reported_

_On marble stones there as black as ink_

_With gold and silver I would support her_

But I'll sing no more now till I get a drink 

She smiled at his words and squeezed his hand and over her head he could see Trowa headed for them.  He lifted her hand above her head and spun her gently, the blue satin dress belling out around her as he tried to catch her eye but she was already looking away, caught in another gaze.
    
    '

Cause I am drunk today and I'm seldom sober 

_A handsome rover from town to town_

_but I'm sick now and my days are numbered_

_Come all you young men and lay me down_

There was a humorous lilt in his voice as he sang the last words and dropped her hand and walked away.  

Midii looked after him a bit sadly as she went into Trowa's arms, holding him tightly as they danced together and Quatre continued to play on.Incredibly she felt Trowa's fingers smoothing over the bare skin of her left ring finger in a gentle caress and she thought that maybe a bit of jealousy was just what was needed to spur her reluctant lover to action.

He looked down at her and touched her cheek as Quatre finished his song with a flourish and the Maganacs and his sisters cheered wildly.  Midii held her breath as Trowa bent his head close to hers.

"I love you," she sighed softly, holding his eyes with hers expectantly.

"I love you too," he whispered back and her heart thumped wildly with anticipation.  Bouquet or no this was it, she thought giddily.  Her heart fell as the next song began and he dropped her hands suddenly.

"Ummm, excuse me Midii I have to go see Duo about some parts," he said finally, breaking her gaze and leaving her there open-mouthed on the dance floor.  She huffed and stamped her small foot beneath the long full skirt before going back to sit beside Hilde.

"Pass the cream puffs," she hissed, grabbing a swan-shaped pastry from the plate Hilde offered and biting off its head.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Alone at last.

With a deep contented sigh that was very nearly audible he held the warm, feminine form closer.  His strong, sure hands traveled the soft familiar curves of her figure and his skin tingled with the memory of past encounters.

Alone at last.

It was dark in the garden and he couldn't see her face but for a long time it had been a vision he could conjure with the mere blink of an eye.  And the dark would hide his own face if her answer was not the one he wished for so desperately.  Surely, surely this sweet, gentle woman would understand and he would not disappoint her.  Not like that other, that fierce warrior.  Meiran…

Luckily for Cathrine she could not see the scowl of concentration on her lover's face. She smiled as she felt his hands tremble against her waist and heard the erratic heartbeat beneath the black tuxedo jacket.  All the others had long since discarded their jackets, rolled up their sleeves and loosened their black ties.  Duo Maxwell even had his bow tie tied in a rakish knot at the tip of his braid.  Wufei still looked perfect though, as if he'd just stepped out his room freshly dressed.

He had been silent and thoughtful throughout the evening and it had been difficult for her to be patient as she waited for him to finally say the words she had been anticipating since he had almost spoken.  When she caught the bouquet meant for Midii in the garden her knowing gypsy blood had quivered with certainty.

Finally she heard his voice, harsh with emotion he tried to conceal.

"Marry me Cathrine.  We should be married.  A relationship like this isn't what we should have with the way I feel about you.  I want something more. If you can't say yes then I have no right to be with you at all," he rasped, his words angry and cold.  

For an instant Cathrine felt hurt.  This was not the proposal she dreamed of, nor probably one that any girl dreamed of.  She peered at her lover in the dim light and the tight line of his mouth showed his tension and something that could almost be fear.

Her heart melted and although she longed to tease him by making him wonder about her response she could see that this was not the time for games.  She loved him, for better or worse as they said in the ceremonies.  She couldn't let him wait in agony a second longer.

"Oh! Yes, yes, yes," she answered quickly, feeling his doubt and desperation lift.  A slow smile softened the stern features that were hidden by the night and he leaned back against the tree pulling her hard against his chest and sealed their promise with a kiss as he slid the gold and diamond ring on her finger.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Duo plopped down on a chair at the table near the bar where Diarmid was downing another whiskey and soda. The red-haired man scowled at the vigilant bartender who had cheerfully refused to serve it to him straight up.

"How ya doin' pal," Duo asked trying to hide his genuine concern behind a casually amiable façade.  "You've got quite the set of pipes Diarmid, who'd have guessed it."

"I was inspired," the young man said shortly.

"Hey, lotsa pretty girls here, find yourself another muse my friend" Duo said, frantically scanning the room for a quick victim to take his friend's mind off Midii.  No use wasting time on a relationship with no future.

He grinned to himself thinking about procuring those parts Trowa had just asked for.  It wouldn't be long at all till Trouble was safely off the marriage-go-round.  He chuckled at his own joke and Diarmid raised the glass to him and toasted him half-heartedly.  He liked Duo best of all the Gundam pilots.  Hell, as far as he knew he at least had never murdered anyone Diarmid knew and loved nor monopolized the heart of the sweet girl he had fallen for.  He turned accusing, mournful, Irish blue eyes on Quatre before looking back down at his drink.

Duo's violet eyes lit with mischief as he caught a glimpse of Quatre's pretty sister nearby, daintily sipping at some forbidden champagne.  The wonderful day was almost over but Safira had finally escaped Yassy's eagle eye and snuck over to the bar.  She giggled prettily, she hadn't called her sister Yassy since she was four but the liquid bubbled pleasantly inside her making her strangely relaxed and happy.  She shook back her tawny curls and took a bolder sip of her champagne.

"Check it out," Duo said, nudging his friend.  "What do you think of that? Pretty and innocent as a schoolgirl, and I happen to know she's very rich too.  And in that dress….

Duo trailed off as Diarmid peered at the girl through an alcohol haze.  She looked nothing like Midii but that was a plus.  The very thought of blue-gray eyes and golden hair was like a knife in the gut right now.  She was out there on the dance floor with Trowa again.  The tall pilot was looking awfully pleased with himself as if he knew a happy secret and as Diarmid watched he dropped a tender, possessive kiss on the blonde head that rested sleepily on his chest. 

He wrenched his gaze away from the floor and looked again at the girl Duo had pointed out.  She was simply gorgeous, her skin glowing warm and soft over the yellow satin and her brown hair like a pre-Raphaelite angel's curling around her innocent, pretty face.  And then she looked at them and smiled.  Her beautiful smile was kindness and gentleness and sweetness all in one, and yet he felt as if he'd seen that smile before.

"Your mouth's open," Duo scolded, poking Diarmid in the ribs.  "Just go ask her to dance."

Having done his good deed for the day, Duo teetered back to Hilde and helped himself to the remaining cream puffs at the head table.

"Hey what happened to all the little swan ones," he mumbled, looking over the selection as he licked cream off his teeth.

Hilde didn't answer but she leaned in to kiss him and get a taste of the cream that lingered on his lips.

"Come dance with me before the night's over," she whispered, pulling him toward a dark, secluded corner.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Safira's hand shook with surprise and a bit of champagne slopped over the edge of her glass as she felt a touch on her bare shoulder.  The touch sparked an electric warmth that spread through her skin.  She turned in amazement to see who had touched her and the warmth surged through her to the tips of her fingers.  It was the young Preventer officer who had sung along with Quatre's violin earlier, she had heard Midii call him Diarmid.  His voice was rich and sweet and it made her feel the way she felt now his fingers had brushed her skin—hot and cold at the same time and so very alive.  Those sad words he had sung had called to her, made her wish for a tender, yearning love.

She could feel his hand, strong and warm at her waist, taking her breath away as they moved to dance.  She could not even remember mumbling a shy reply to his question.  For the first time she found herself in a glimmering soap bubble of giddy infatuation.

Diarmid smiled down at the riot of brown curls burnished with gold from the lights that brushed against his shoulder as they danced.  He admired how her rose-petal skin turned warm and golden from the color of her yellow dress.  Her steps were unsure but she moved with lovely grace despite her lack of confidence on the dance floor.  She peeked at him curiously, fascination in her turquoise eyes as he let his fingers brush a smooth cheek.  The night was nearly over, he would never have to see Winner again if he didn't want to. He had made it through and this girl was like a sign, a new beginning.  His stomach clenched as she licked her lips nervously and glanced up at him again between her dark golden-brown lashes.  

"I want him to kiss me," she thought to herself, shocking herself a bit with her boldness.  His eyes seemed to study her face hungrily and she could sense that he wanted her, that he felt the same instant pull that she felt for him.  Everything was wonderful and all the small disappointments she'd suffered this very day and all during her short life seemed to fade away like nothing. She had finally found him.  He was the one in this world that was her other half.  All the Winners had a startling sense of empathy, some more than others.  Safira just had a touch but her heart and soul were throbbing with a strange certainty and her face glowed with awe and joy as she looked at the man who held her in his arms.

"Who could resist that look," Diarmid thought, his gaze catching the innocent mouth that seemed to beg for his kiss.  Most certainly not an Irishman with an eye for a pretty girl who had already set back more than one whiskey and soda.  Besides, her smile and her eyes seemed to heal the wound in his heart.   For the first time that day he let Sean's memory float away on the music until it was only himself and her.  He gave in and bent his head to catch her lips in a kiss.

"My first kiss, my first kiss," Safira repeated over and over in her mind as her head spun with champagne bubbles and the even more intoxicating tickle of his lips on hers.

The music ended and although he paused for breath for a split second she soon felt the wonderful pressure again, his kiss more sure and she felt her body sway closer to his until he held her pressed tight against him.  The tent disappeared.  Quatre and Dorothy and everyone else disappeared.  All that was left was the enveloping darkness and the scent of the wedding flowers.

An angry, scolding voice broke the spell.

"Safira Winner!  How could you behave like this at your own brother's wedding," Yasmina whispered vehemently, trying to avoid a scene.  She pushed away a small protest from her conscience that she was perhaps overreacting, that part of her anger was really jealousy that her sister had found happiness this night instead of herself.

She felt a moment of regret as her little sister turned to look at her with stunned eyes.  Yasmina softened a bit but before she could speak again Diarmid spoke first.

"Winner? Brother??"

He closed his eyes as both women looked at him oddly.

Yasmina frowned.  

"You little fool, can't you see his drunk?  He's trying to take advantage of you," she said, pulling her sister away from the man who stared at both of them oddly.

Safira gasped.  There were angry tears in the bright blue eyes that looked at her.  There was no admiration in the sparkling depths now, but something altogether different.  Disgust, maybe even hate.  She drew closer to her sister, but couldn't resist trying to reach him.  She had to know what she had done wrong.  There had truly been something between them and she knew he had felt it too.

"What's wrong? I don't care what Yassy says, you're not just drunk are you?  What's wrong?"

She smiled at him pleadingly and he knew now where he'd seen that smile before.  It was the same smile he had seen on Sean's killer's face as he got married, as he started a life for himself that his brother would never have.

"What's wrong," he spat, mimicking Safira's timid question.  "You're a Winner.  You're his sister.  He's a bloody, cold-hearted killer.  He killed my brother.  He fucking killed him right on television.  He killed Sean.  Now my father doesn't sing to my mother anymore and they'll never be happy and I'll live my life trying to forget that awful vision. And Sean's rotting, rotting in a grave!"

Diarmid looked around and saw everyone staring at him.

"That's right," he shouted.  "The golden boy is nothing more than a killer. You're all killers, dancing on the graves of the dead.  Dancing on the graves of good men that died!"

Safira stared, her face streaked with tears and Yasmina was speechless.

"Holy shit," Duo muttered, meeting Midii's eyes over the dessert display.  "Our boy Diarmid's really lost it.  We gotta get him out of here before he ruins Quatre's party."

Midii followed Duo, pushing past him to reach Diarmid.  His words hurt, she could feel the pain that was coming through.  

"Diarmid," she said, grasping his hands gently.  "Come outside with Duo and I. Please, please don't do this."

She gasped as he grasped her by the shoulders and shook her.

"You're as bad as the rest of them. You never cared about me, you don't give a fuck about anyone but him and you never, ever will.  Leave me the hell alone," he growled, pushing her away forcefully.

Duo deftly caught Midii before she lost her footing and fell. Diarmid paused and blinked a bit.  He hadn't meant to say that, to ever hurt her.  She was his friend, it wasn't her fault, oh Christ, oh Midii…he started to walk toward her, to tell her he was sorry.

A hand clenched his shoulder with a grip like iron and he spun on his feet so fast that he couldn't react.  Trowa's fist sent him flying into a table on which the used china had been stacked and he crashed into it with a loud bang as the table cracked and the glass shattered noisily.

Trowa walked slowly toward the downed man, eyes blazing.  He had never liked him, he hated how Diarmid hovered around Midii just waiting to see him make a mistake and lose her. Diarmid had no idea what the two of them had been through to be together.  Diarmid had no idea what Quatre had been through with guilt over the war and his role in it.  

Milliardo Peacecraft stopped Trowa's advance.  He placed a hand on his chest and stared calmly into the outraged green eyes that sparked with impatience.

"Leave him alone," Peacecraft said.  "I'll talk with him. I'll take full responsibility for him.  I knew his brother you see, I knew him very well."

The lines of his face were sad and tortured as he remembered Walker and his death. Noin felt silent tears slip down her face as she saw her tall husband help the fallen man up and lead him outside.

Trowa buried his fists in his pockets and returned to Midii's side.  He put his arms around her as she hurled herself against his chest.  He barely had time to control his racing heartbeat and catch his breath before the moment he dreaded arrived.  

Quatre appeared with Dorothy at his side and stared at the smashed table, and at Yasmina's pale face and Noin and Safira's tears.

"Trowa? Duo? What's going on," he asked, slowly, realizing that the knowledge was going to be a black mark on the happiest day of his life.

Dorothy frowned and tugged on his arm.

"Quatre we're leaving now, you promised," she said.  "We can all discuss this after the honeymoon.  Please my darling…"

It was Safira who finally broke the awkward silence as they all stared at each other unsure of what to say next.

She turned on her brother, her turquoise eyes that matched his sparking with anger and frustration.

"You! Always you, Quatre," she said coldly.  "We've always had to sacrifice everything for you.  Father's precious heir, our only brother.  You ruin everything!!! You always have.  That man hates me.  He hates me because I'm your sister and you killed his brother.  How can you say you love peace when you killed so many people?  He was right, he was right about everything.  You killed so many people and even Mother!"

Yasmina tugged her sister's arm sharply.

"Don't say that Safira, it isn't true.  Not true at all and we promised Father…"

Safira pulled away from her sister's grip.

"Oh yes it is true!  And I never promised, I was only a baby just like he was.  But Father didn't keep me, he sent me away.  But Quatre was the one that killed Mother.  Quatre, the only one of us who ever felt sorry for himself because he was created in a test tube.  How ironic that he's the only one of us naturally born.  You're Mother's own child Quatre.  Her only real child.  And having you killed her!"

She burst into angry tears and ran out of the tent.

Yasmina tore her eyes from the sister she had raised from a young child.  She had never taken Safira's unhappiness seriously but the girl's hurt at being constantly overlooked by everyone, including father had obviously been a wound that festered deep in her soul.  Yet even now, despite her concern for Safira she still felt obligated to stay here where Quatre had need of her.

His wide blue eyes stared over everyone's heads as if he looked at something they couldn't see.  His skin was chalk-white and she could see his hands trembling with emotion and disbelief.

Yasmina saw the Maganacs edge a bit closer, as if they sensed Quatre's distress.  Yet they kept their distance, like everyone else they were unsure of how to react.  It didn't matter to them that Master Quatre was not a test tube baby like themselves.  They would love him and be loyal to him till the day they were laid in their graves.  They were simply at a loss as to how to protect the young man in the face of his sister's revelation.

Finally Quatre's eyes met his sister's and he shrugged roughly out of Dorothy's compassionate embrace and walked slowly toward Yasmina.  He looked deep into her eyes as if searching her soul for endless moments and then he spoke.

"Is it true?"

Yasmina stammered, unable to finally voice the horrible secret that all of them had sworn to Father they would keep always.

"Quatre—I—I ,"

She gasped as he grabbed her furiously, she felt his fingers digging into the soft flesh of her upper arms with a force she could hardly comprehend as being her brother's true strength.  The reality of his career as a Gundam pilot struck her and she knew he was so much more than she had ever really understood.

"Tell me," he said, his voice odd but commanding.

Unable to speak, she merely nodded.

He released his grip on her so quickly that she nearly fell.  Rasid was beside her, supporting her weight on his strong arm. She hadn't even noticed him approaching so quickly had he come to her side.  Yasmina let herself crumple into his arms, grateful for the powerful embrace that seemed the only solid thing in a world suddenly gone mad.

Quatre knew the secret.  Quatre knew the secret he must never know.

From the shelter of the Maganac captain's comforting arms she watched her little brother walk out into the night, pushing past his friends with a rudeness she wouldn't have believed possible and ignoring Dorothy's voice calling him back.  A second later Dorothy flew after him, so quickly she seemed but a swirl of pale hair, lace and satin.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dorothy stared at the door that had been slammed and locked in her face.  She thought how she would love to take Quatre's spoiled sister by that curly hair of hers and pull it until she screamed and the whole time she'd tell her just what she thought of her.  There was no room for sympathy for Safira in her heart, although she certainly would have been unable to stand the same family situation herself.  Woe be unto any would-be Catalonia brother that might have tried to steal Miss Dorothy's limelight!  Luckily however, she'd been an only child.

Right now she could not forget the hurt the selfish, silly girl had caused.  Especially since Quatre was the one who had been hurt. Dorothy would rather have been called to task in front of everyone for her career with the White Fang than see Quatre put through the emotional wringer.

She wished for the physical strength to kick down the door and go to him.  The silence behind the solid oak door frightened her.  She could not lose him, without him she knew she could not live.

But of course there were other ways to open doors, she thought sensibly, summoning a servant.

In seconds a butler appeared with the skeleton key and opened the door for the bride with a flourish.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yasmina shook her head as Rasid tried to take her arm and lead her to a chair.  The air in the tent was suddenly warm and sticky and if she didn't get out into the cool night breeze she felt she would collapse.  No sooner did the wind begin to blow back some semblance of normalcy than she was confronted by Safira, her sister's face red and splotched with tearstains.

"I want to leave this family! I don't want to be a Winner anymore," Safira said, her voice shaking with the strain of facing up to her sister at last.

"But you always will be," Yasmina said.  "I'm sorry Safira.  We failed you.  Father and I especially.  Right now though I can't forgive what you've done to Quatre. Causing someone else pain is never the answer to healing our own hurts.  But I do understand and I do love you as I always have.  None of us can ever stop being Winners no matter how much we sometimes wish we could."

"You won't let me go then," Safira said, uncertain how to proceed.  She had no money of her own, she lived on the interest of the Winner Family Trust set up by her father as they all did.  She had never really been on her own.

"I didn't say that," Yasmina said, touching her sister's flushed cheek briefly.  "I had a request today from Milliardo  Peacecraft.  He asked me to send a representative of the Winner family to Mars."

Mars, Safira thought, raising her wet eyes to the starry sky.  It was far enough away, as far away as someone could get.  On Mars she could finally become her own person.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
Diarmid raised blurred blue eyes to the tall man who stood over him.  He felt an odd sense of déjà vu as he looked up at the strangely familiar face.  

Diarmid shut his eyes tightly.  He could remember visiting Sean years ago at the Corsica Air Base.  His brother had even let him climb up into the cockpit of his Aries, the one he'd died in.  Diarmid could remember the feel of Sean's protective goggles clinging loosely to his face and his brother's hand on his arm with sudden urgency.

"Look Diarmid! See that man out there?  Look closely, he's the best soldier I've ever seen. He's taught me everything and I admire him more than anyone.  You'll see, Diarmid, someday everyone will know the name of Lt. Zechs Marquise," Sean had said as he pointed at an officer out the view port of the mobile suit.  Even now his voice played perfectly in Diarmid's memory.

"Lt. Zechs," he whispered, echoing his dead brother's words while shame made him break out in a cold sweat.  Christ, Christ, what had he done?  On top of everything else he had embarrassed his brother's memory in front of the one man Sean had admired most.

"Yes, I'm Zechs Marquise," the tall, fair-haired man said after a moment in which Diarmid felt his very soul was being weighed and judged.  "I'm happy to meet you at last Diarmid Walker.  Your brother was a stellar soldier.  He died because he came up against an enemy that had the stronger mobile suit and because right up to the end his love for mobile suits made him curious about that Gundam.  He died doing what he loved, but I'm extremely sorry for your family's loss.  It was a grave loss to me as well.  He gave me something you see, before he died.  He gave me Tallgeese."

Diarmid was silent but Milliardo continued.  "In your brother's memory I'd like to help you find a fresh start.  Come back with Noin and I to Mars.  I know that anyone named Walker could only be of the greatest help to us there."

The younger man nodded.  He never wanted to face Lady Une again, she had trusted him with this mission and he had failed miserably.  He had burnt his bridges here in the EarthSphere.  On Mars it would be a chance to start fresh and live up to the example his brother had set for him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dorothy's righteous anger fled leaving behind nothing but a sudden sharp pain that was so overwhelming she had to sit down.  She dropped into a brocade armchair and her fingers dug into the upholstery as she finally was able to lift her head and look at Quatre again. 

It was truly as if he was gone from her, from everyone that loved him.  He stood at the window staring at his own reflection in the dark glass as if he hadn't heard her enter the room.  The look on his face was that of a very different man, as if his very self had been drained by the terrible revelation of his sister's words.

"His pain is my pain," Dorothy thought, the situation and the remedy suddenly clear

in her mind.  "This is how he felt when I stabbed him on Libra, when I hated myself so much that I wanted to destroy the only one who could save me."

She pulled herself up from the chair and willed her legs to stop trembling.  

Quatre felt the warmth of Dorothy's embrace as if from far off.  He wanted so much to turn and lose himself in the comfort of her arms but the guilt and disbelief that his whole life had been a lie were too strong.

As she held the silent, rigid form in her arms Dorothy lost her patience quickly.  She wasn't one to sit by and wait, she knew she couldn't let him fall so deeply into the abyss that she would never find him again.  No enemy could punish him as he would punish himself if she let him.

"Don't you dare ignore me Quatre Raberba Winner," she said, her voice furious and commanding.  "Don't go away from me after you've promised that we'll be together always.  There is nothing so horrible that we can't face it together."

She felt a moment of triumph and the nearness of victory as she felt him shudder slightly in her embrace.  At last a response, his stillness had come very near to frightening her.

"I've ruined so many lives," he said, in a voice she could barely hear.  "Everything would have been so different for so many people.  My sisters were happy, my father and mother were happy.  If you could have heard his voice Dorothy when he spoke of her, he was a different man…  And there are so many others, I heard what that man said to my sister. I ruined his life, his family's lives and I don't even know how or when I killed his brother.  I'm certain I must have but during the war I killed so many soldiers…so many…"

"Quatre!"

Dorothy's voice was sharp and urgent.  "Weren't you listening to Miss Relena's speech this afternoon?  Didn't you hear the words of Mrs. Noventa?  Heero Yuy killed her husband but she understood that it had to be, if there was ever going to be peace in this world.  You did not start that war but you finished it Quatre!  You finished it!  Your mother's death is very sad, I've lost both my parents, but it's not your fault she died or that your father couldn't get past his self-pity.  You had to exist, you had to!  Was there anyone else who could have met me on Libra and showed me my life and mistakes so clearly?  I would be lost without you, the world would be lost without you.  Don't do this, don't leave me now for some prison of your own making.  You deserve to be in this world and I deserve to have back the man I married this morning."

She took his face in her hands and kissed his mouth softly, her fingers stroking his cheeks and the soft wisps of blonde hair that fell across them as tenderly as a mother would.  She felt her own eyes fill with scalding hot tears as he finally wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck.

They stood that way for a long time until Dorothy wondered how long her strength would hold out and she could support him as he leaned on her heavily.  She steeled herself and clung to him, knowing that she would hold him forever if she had to.

A choked sound came from the direction of the doorway and they looked up to see Yasmina poised there hesitantly as if she couldn't decide whether to enter.

Finally she spoke.

"May I come in?"

"Please Yasmina, we need to talk.  I need to hear about Mother," Quatre said, pulling Dorothy down onto a nearby love seat that flanked the fireplace in the elegant bedroom.  She leaned gratefully against him, exhausted by their emotional struggle.  Hope filled her as she saw him calmly gesture to his sister to take the seat across from them.  
 

Although the truth was painful, Quatre finally felt at peace.  He believed Yasmina's reassurance about Mother's feelings, her bravery and her love.  To fall into despair and to blame himself would defeat the purpose of her sacrifice. He was no child now, to behave as he had the day he met the Maganacs.  No spoiled child filled with hurt rage but a man who had the support of two strong women to help him past this new sorrow.

Now he truly knew what father meant when he told him that Mother had been the strongest and noblest person he knew.  And he felt for Yasmina now what he had once felt for Iria, love and a sense of family that he hadn't even known he was missing.  Now she was truly his sister, not just a woman with the same last name who worked for the same corporation. With Yasmina and Dorothy at his side he could do anything.

"I was wrong about you," Yasmina told Dorothy, a tentative smile of offered friendship lighting her face.  She reached up and took off the delicate platinum necklace with its brilliant pastel stones.

"You see Quatre, you really do deserve to give this to your bride on your wedding day.  Mother wouldn't want her sacrifice to be in vain.  She loved you so much and she wanted you to be happy."

She pressed the necklace into her brother's hand and watched with a wistful smile as he fastened the delicate piece of family jewelry carefully around Dorothy's neck.  They forgot Yasmina then as they lost themselves in each other's eyes and she left the room on silent feet, shutting the door quietly to let the honeymoon begin.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Trowa and Midii searched the halls of the palace hand in hand.  Midii had a hard time keeping up with Trowa's swift pace as they hurried along looking for answers.  She could feel his worry about Quatre.  The two Gundam pilots had a special bond that was undeniable and a sense of each other's need that touched her deeply.

Finally they came to a small, lighted parlor.  Quatre's sister Yasmina sat there in a small rocker holding a cup of hot tea in one hand.  Rasid sat on the floor at her feet cradling her other slender hand in his two big ones and talking to her in low, serious tones.

Trowa cleared his throat and after a moment the two looked up at him.

"How is Quatre," he asked, stepping into the room with Midii on his arm.

Yasmina stood, handing her teacup to Rasid.  Midii noticed a tender look in the older woman's eyes that truly surprised her.  She had never really thought of the stern Yasmina as simply another woman and a small smile played on her lips as she realized what had been happening in this secluded little room. Another love story was beginning.

"Thank you so much for your friendship to my brother," Yasmina said, her voice that of a different woman.  A woman whose protective armor had been smashed, a woman who was ready to greet life at last.  "I'm so pleased he has friends like the two of you.  Dorothy has taken care of everything, he's going to be just fine.  She is an amazing woman."

"In fact," and here Yasmina blushed a pretty pale pink color, "I believe the honeymoon may already have begun."

Midii felt Trowa's arm relax beneath her fingers as he nodded to Yasmina and the pair of them retreated silently to leave Yasmina and Rasid to their conversation.

In the hallway Trowa leaned against the wall beneath a sconce holding a pair of softly-glowing candles.  He held Midii tight against him and the world felt perfect once again with her in his arms and the knowledge that Quatre was going to get through this latest crisis as he always did. It would be easier this time, with Dorothy by his side.  Like Yasmina he had been wrong about her from the start.  

After a moment he tilted Midii's chin so she looked directly into his eyes.

"What do you want to do now," he asked softly.

"I want to go home," she answered tiredly, leaning against him again and letting him support her weight.

It was a good four-hour drive over dark country roads but he understood her wish.  Suddenly he wanted to be there with her more than anything.  Alone together in the old stone house surrounded by abandoned gardens that still bloomed despite everything.  And tomorrow after the sun rose he could push her in the time-worn swing that sat on the hill, the hill where you could see the blue of the ocean in the distance.

Home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Next time on POR 26: Epilogue—several months have passed since the wedding and a new member of the Yuy family has arrived; Midii is curious about a secret project that keeps Trowa away at night; Cathy tries to teach Midii to knit.  Meanwhile on Mars will a pair of star-crossed lovers meet again? 


	26. Epilogue Part One

The Price of Redemption

Chapter 26: Epilogue

By Midii Une

Her heels made a soft but distinctive click that even the sawdust scattered haphazardly on the cracked cement floor failed to completely hide.  Midii frowned and pursed her lips, blowing a strand of tarnished gold hair from her face in irritation as she weighed the cost of the new thigh-high silk stockings purchased especially for this occasion with the endless quest for stealth.

As she pondered her dilemma a low, fierce growl disturbed the thick, almost ominous gloom that surrounded her and she spun silently toward the sound.

"Oh who's scared of you," she whispered, tossing her head defiantly at Jupiter, the circus's star lion.  The magnificent beast glared at the girl with suspicious golden eyes. Jupiter loved Trowa.  Jupiter loved Cathy.  Jupiter had purred like a kitten when Thierry had come to visit.  Jupiter hated Midii.

Having grown used to the god-like creature's scorn Midii ignored Jupiter and having decided to sacrifice her stockings for the almighty element of surprise, bent carefully to remove her shoes.  Immediately noticing her movement the watchful lion opened his giant mouth for a roar.

"No, you nasty beast, be quiet…" she pleaded frantically, trying to shush him with a finger pressed to her lips.  She could swear there was a look of retribution in the eyes that watched her haughtily as a deep, horrific sound began to fill the large, cavernous room.  Midii stamped her small, stockinged foot in frustration.  Now she'd never find out what _he_ was up to!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I'm really, really sorry, okay Trowa!  But you should have been more careful with it.  I don't know if there's another one like it in the galaxy. I looked for that one for months and you went and busted it," Duo said, his voice a bit testy.  Trowa was beginning to get on Shinigami's last nerve.

"That piece of crap you called a part was rusted almost completely through.  It snapped under the smallest pressure.  Tonight was supposed to be the night Duo.  Damn it, this was supposed to be _it_!"

Duo shrugged.  Trowa's consternation was pathetic and amusing all at the same time.  A smug grin started tugging at the corners of his wide mouth and before he could stop it turned into a full-fledged smirk as he studied the other pilot.  He'd never seen Trowa so flustered and suffering from such a total lack of composure.  The trailing brown bangs were pushed back from his face sticky with sweat and tangled from the numerous times he'd run his long fingers through his hair in irritation.  Numerous small cuts smudged brown blood on those fingers and more than one spot of grimy grease bedecked the smooth planes of his face.

"You're asking the impossible buddy!  That was the last one of those in existence, 'k?  No more, capisce?  Just be normal and do it the old-fashioned way.  Not like she'll say no you big dummy," Duo said, snorting with derisive laughter.

"Keep your opinions to yourself and just find it for me you so-called God of Junk," Trowa hissed.

"So-called?  That hurts Tro, I've tried, really I have.  You're asking for miracles here," Duo protested.

A voluptuously deep-throated, leonine roar echoed loudly through the storage facility adjacent to the animals' quarters.

"Uh-oh," Duo squealed in mock terror.  "Trouble has entered the building.  She's gonna catch you Tro, she's gonna find out your deep dark secret….

"Can it Maxwell.  Just get that part for me. A promise is a promise," Trowa said, clicking off the monitor curtly.

"Yeah right," Duo mumbled.  "You can't find what ain't out there buddy."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jupiter roared again, a note of triumph in his voice as he pushed his big face against the bars and thrust one of his massive paws, thick with threatening claws out toward the despised intruder.  Midii could feel the deep, throaty sound reverberating in her chest and her heart thumped with primal, instinctive fear.  If that thing ever got out she would be its first meal, she just knew it!

She backed away slowly, trying to fix the angry animal with a confident glare when she felt strong arms wrap around her waist from behind.  Her fear melted and she put out her tongue at Jupiter.  She was safe, she had their beloved Trowa to herself and he was stuck in that cage.  Ha!

"What are you doing out here in this dirty old place," Trowa whispered in her ear, tightening his grip on her slender waist and inhaling the soft lavender fragrance that clung to her skin and hair.  "You shouldn't pick on poor old Jupiter.  Seeing you always riles him up Midii."

"He wants to eat me up, I just know it," Midii said, nestling closer in Trowa's embrace.  

Her lover groaned at the imagery her words conjured and she felt his breath hot on the skin of her throat and the sharp, almost painful nibble of teeth on her earlobe.  

"I know how he feels," he said in her ear, sending delicious shivers down her spine.  His fingers found the place where the silk stocking met her skin and she rested her head back against his shoulder, reaching her arms up to encircle his neck as she pressed herself against him.

"These are new," she felt him breathe as his fingers teased her.  "What's the occasion?"

She pulled away and turned to face him, struggling to contain the shock and hurt that were staining her face an angry red despite herself.  He had to be joking.  Didn't he?

He wasn't.  His eyes reflected no humor only a blank questioning look and a rather wolfish gleam as he noticed her deep décolletage.  She noticed that he was filthy, greasy and had probably been wearing that same torn, dirty white t-shirt every night when he came out here.  He always returned to her very late, freshly showered and utterly exhausted, sometimes rather grumpy.

"What are you up to out here Trowa?  What is it you're not telling me," she asked, eyeing him suspiciously and trying to look angry.

He sighed tiredly but she noticed he avoided meeting her eyes, focusing instead on a small cut that had split the skin of his knuckle.

"I told you Midii, I'm doing some extra work for the manager to make up for all the time off I've taken," he said, shaking is head so his bangs fell back into place and smiling at her slightly.  "He still can't get used to the fact I keep disappearing to take care of 'things' occasionally, I don't think he ever will."

"But what exactly _are_ you doing," Midii cried, grabbing his arms, which were slightly damp and sticky with drying sweat.

He saw her wrinkle her nose slightly and he laughed out loud both at the look on her face and that she had been distracted from pestering him about what he'd been doing.

"Eewww, Trowa!  Hurry you need to shower," she said turning toward the door and looking at him over her shoulder.  "Seriously, we'll be late."

"Late for what," he asked, puzzled.

He really had forgotten, she thought, but then again maybe to him that night had not been so special.  The night one year ago when he had come to her apartment door, the first time they had seen each other in more than eight years.  The wonderful, horrible night she had found him and lost him again in a matter of hours.  Her lips tingled slightly with the memory of his first kiss and her hand felt again the tentative pressure of his fingers the first time he had taken her hand in his.

"It's nothing really," she said quickly, suddenly feeling a stubborn urge for him to remember on his own.  Her face softened and her eyes sparkled as she looked at his face and anticipated his reaction.  "Just hurry."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Did he remember? Do you suppose he suspects," Cathrine asked, her conscience nagging her as she played her unaccustomed role of double agent.  She felt torn knowing both Trowa and Midii's every secret and doubt and sworn to secrecy not to tell what she knew.

She smiled behind her hand as she watched Midii pace around the room as Trowa showered.  Occasionally the younger girl raced into the kitchen and came back with an item to pop into the box she had prepared.  Cathy wished she could talk to Trowa though but there would be no chance with Midii hovering around anxious to keep the appointment she had set for the two of them.

"What could have gone wrong," she wondered, her violet eyes resting on Midii's anxious form speculatively.

Cathy felt doomed to a night of unfulfilled suspense.  She was tired and felt oddly out of sorts, her anticipation of hearing some expected, but happy news had just not happened. Worst of all she had no idea why.

A bit of snooping was in order, it was the only way to set her mind to rest.  She would wait forever if she waited for Trowa to enlighten her.  He'd ignored her urgent looks that begged for information all the way out the door. She peered from between the blinds out the trailer's small window.  Trowa's bike was long gone and she was safe.  Still, Cathy felt a little guilty for prying, then she brightened.  Could anyone blame her for doing Trowa's laundry?  With a vindicated bounce in her step she walked purposefully into the small bedroom Trowa and Midii shared and began plucking up Trowa's discarded clothing.  Of course she was sure to search each pocket, it wouldn't do to accidentally 'wash' something important.  Finally she pulled the pair of jeans Trowa had been wearing that day from beneath the bed, the hem just peeking beneath the dust ruffle of the carefully made bed.  Seemed like true love would make a model housekeeper out of Midii yet, she thought cheerfully.  Digging through the last of the pockets her hand emerged with a fistful of rusted, crumbling metal.

"Oh! Oh no," she muttered.  "This is a disaster!"

She stared at the orange-brown mess that stained her fingers with dismay.  Her disappointment was so great she visibly started when she realized the vidphone was chiming at her insistently.

"Wufei! How wonderful of you to call," she managed, failing to hid the miserable feeling she experienced whenever she felt the crumbled mass of metal in her hand.  

"Well," he said impatiently.  He stood in front of the vidscreen with his arms crossed over his chest and his dark eyes gleaming expectantly.  "Has he finally done it?"

Cathy shook her head sadly and held out the remains of the long sought after key to Trowa's future happiness.

"Maxwell! Why would anyone assign him to a mission like this?  Don't tell me we have to wait until _he_ finally gets it right," Wufei said, there was a hint of pleading in his voice and in the black eyes that held her violet ones across the miles between the colonies where they currently resided.

She bit at the soft flesh of her lower lip, her glance evasive as he sensed her indecision.  He had a horrible uncomfortable feeling that Trowa's happiness meant more to her than him, than the promise of their life together.  The people of his clan married young and he already felt time slipping away.

"Please understand," Cathy begged.  "If it's what you really want I won't wait, but I can't be truly at peace with going away until I'm sure that he'll be happy.  I love you with all of my heart , but if I left him behind before things got resolved it would be like losing my baby brother all over again and I couldn't forgive myself.  I failed Triton, I won't fail Trowa.  Please…"

"All right," he muttered gruffly, but his fingers reached to the screen to touch the image of her face.  As always he felt he'd do anything just to avoid the fall of the tears that pooled in her soft violet eyes.  "But I'm not just going to sit back and wait.  I'm going to take care of this and get those two straightened out myself."  He shivered a bit knowing it was possible he could be as old and shriveled as Master Long before that star-crossed pair settled things on their own.

After signing off with his own beloved, Chang Wufei, the most unlikely Cupid in the colonies, put in motion plans to contact a certain Gundam technician named Howard.  He sat back in his chair, massaging the furrowed space between his eyes.  This was going to be difficult, word was Howard was on a round-the-world tour of Earth's oceans. Finding his signal was going to be like trying to locate a blue shirt in Quatre Winner's closet.  He grumbled again as he started his search and wondered why Trowa always had to be so difficult.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Don't peek and wait right here," Midii ordered Trowa.  She felt him follow closely behind her as she moved toward a door marked 'authorized personnel only'.  She sighed, shaking her head slightly as she turned back to him.  "Please," she said, tiptoeing to kiss him and pushing him back a few inches at the same time. 

 "Trust me!" she teased as he stared at her silently.

"You're up to something," he finally said, reaching after her departing figure.

She turned to look at him again, wagging her finger at him.  "Yes, but trust me you'll like it.  And it's not illegal!"

"At least not very," she muttered to herself as she disappeared behind the door.

Trowa sighed and folded his arms, kicking a little at the box she'd made him carry in, stopping guiltily when he heard the mysterious rattle of glass.  They were inside an innocuous, rectangle of a building with non-existent signage.  Curiosity about the place and what she had planned almost made him follow after her but he restrained himself, knowing that his trust meant so much to her.

Midii flattened herself silently against the door and studied the lone attendant sitting before the screens depicting myriad images of the universe.  She heard the rustle of paper and tilted her neck a bit to see what he was looking at.  He was so completely occupied by whatever it was that he had totally missed her silent entry.

"Oh, so it's like that," she thought, smiling grimly as she tugged the tight knit shirt she wore down a bit further.  He was engrossed in a Penthouse magazine. She crossed the room, impudently clicking her high heels on the tiled floor and perching herself on the edge of his work table.  Midii crossed her legs allowing him a quick glimpse of silk-clad thigh and leaned forward to offer a peek at her cleavage.

"Wh-who," he muttered, pushing his chair back and dropping his magazine.

"Preventer," she snapped, adopting a stern look inspired by Heero Yuy and flashing her ID.  "I'm commandeering the use of this facility for the night."

"Y-you can't," he said, clutching his magazine to his chest protectively.  "I have to man this station."

Midii sprang off the desk and grabbed him by the shirt collar with both hands, pulling his face down close to hers.  He dropped the magazine and gasped like a fish dangling from her line.

"Get out before I reveal the nature of your important reading material to your superior.  If that's not enough I'll tell my partner out there you made a pass at me," she hissed, kicking the unlucky magazine across the floor where it disappeared beneath a piece of equipment.

He stumbled back as she released the material of his shirt.

"Yes, yes Ma'am," he said, saluting awkwardly and stumbling over his own feet and out the door.

"Oh-oh Christ! Oh dear God," she heard the unlucky victim gasp as he bumped hard into Trowa's unmoving and stoic figure waiting outside.  "I never looked, I never touched her.  Don't kill me."

Trowa merely regarded the man quizzically as he bounced off him and fell to his hands and knees scrambling out of the building.  He peered out the window as car tires screeched and disappeared down the remote and deserted road in a cloud of dust.

There was silence from the room beyond the door.  Having had enough of anticipation and trust Trowa picked up Midii's precious box and tracked her through the door.  It was a control room of some kind. 

"Oh wow," he gasped, forgetting Midii for the moment and setting down the box.  He pulled up the chair that had rolled back from the abandoned work station and sat down and stared at the screens.  Glittering stars, far-off constellations and milkily glowing nebulae were displayed on every screen.  Real-time pictures from myriad observation satellites flashed before his eyes.  Outer space, really the stars themselves, had been the one thing he'd clung to all his life, something shining and beautiful in a world that had been so ugly and lonely.  Not Midii, not Cathy, but the stars had always been there, even shining down on him after the Vayeate exploded until even his knowledge of self was lost.

Midii watched him there, hiding in the room beyond, a hand clinging to the smooth wooden door frame.  She loved his eyes, filled with stars, as he looked at the screens and forgot everything else as he studied the screens.  The awe and surprise in his voice as he said something as simple and ordinary as 'oh wow' made her feel warm and perfectly content.  He liked this place she had found for him, he really, really liked it. She forgot her earlier irritation and her own desires.  She loved him and this thing she had done had made him truly happy.  She watched as he rested his chin in his hand and leaned closer as a brilliant flash lit one of the screens.

"What was that," she whispered, coming around the corner to stand beside his chair.  He reached an arm across her waist and rested a hand on her hip without taking his eyes off the screen.

"The Winstead SuperNova, I think," he said, his voice reverent.  "As far as I recall that's the star astronomers predicted would be the next to flare out."

"Flare out?" Midii asked, watching the cascades of light die on the screen.

"Winstead's several billion light years away. It is, or was, the biggest star in a system discovered by James Winstead in the pre-colonial era," Trowa explained patiently, his fingers moving softly yet absently against the fabric of her skirt. "It probably exploded into that supernova when Earth was just a ball of lifeless sea and dirt."

"And we're seeing it now, together," Midii whispered, her fingers playing gently with the short hairs that grazed his collar. They stayed that way silently for some time watching the screens, spotting shooting stars and planets.

Trowa finally shook himself slightly.

"That was a fairly important cosmic event," he said, playing with the buttons with confidence that surprised Midii and brought the images of the supernova back on screen.  The light from the explosion so long ago lit their faces again with the incredible white light as Trowa recorded the time and coordinates and the number of the stills that showed the sequence of events.

"Hey, what happened to that guy that made him get out of here so fast," he asked, looking up at her quizzically, suddenly remembering the very odd behavior of the technician who probably should have been here recording this data.

Midii smiled and sat in his lap.  She had decided to say nothing about the small anniversary she'd wanted to celebrate, this was enough.  It was more than she'd ever felt she had the right to dream.

"This room is too crowded for three," she said, hugging him and burying her face in his neck.  "I found out about this place and I knew you had to see it."

She raised her face from its hiding place in his shoulder and looked at him.  She smiled to see his attention was already pulled back to those tempting screens.

"Hungry," she asked.  "I packed dinner and wine."

"Mmm, later," he muttered.  "Hey look at this, what a great shot of Mars. You can even see the canals and bits of the start of the terraforming project.  Soon it'll be a real colony.  A man I once knew named Howard told me we could have colonized outside this solar system if the Peacemillion space craft hadn't been destroyed."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The boy paced around the small Martian communications room like a caged lion.  He was 16, slim and blonde with eyes the color of a stormy sea.  Unique blue eyes that Lucrezia Noin-Peacecraft had noticed and admired when she and her husband had discovered the young stowaway on one of the supply craft that had docked at the Mars Terraforming Headquarters a little more than a year earlier.

Michel Une leaned momentarily against the cold steel wall before beginning his restless movements again.

"Hey Mike, calm down.  It's almost time," his companion said, his lips curving into an understanding smile as he pushed dark red locks away from his forehead.  His own hands were a bit sweaty in anticipation.

"Diarmid, tell me again about my sister," the boy said, moving to hunker down beside the man sitting in the only chair on the small room.

"You'll see for yourself in about T minus 3 minutes," the older man said, tousling the boy's shiny blond waves.  "She's going to be so happy to see you, I can't wait to see her face."

Please God, she'll have to forgive me now, be my friend again. Diarmid's face was hot with shame recalling his unforgivable antics at Quatre's wedding, the cause of his own self-exile to the deepest manned reaches of space.  Who'd have thought he'd find the path to redemption here on Mars to make up for the wrong he'd done her, laying hands on her in anger?  Her, someone he could have loved for a lifetime.

"You've got a crush on Midii, haven't you," Mike said, studying Diarmid's face curiously.

"She's a lovely woman and I merely appreciate that," Diarmid said defensively.  He had to change the subject, there was no future in a 'crush on Midii', she and Trowa were a cold, hard fact.  Emphasis on cold and hard but that was her choice not his, never his.  

"By the way my lad, I've noticed you gazing at our dear Commander Noin with something of a look in your eye," Diarmid teased with a wink of one bright blue eye.  And it was teasing, he knew that the poor kid needed a big sister to mother him and watch out for him.  But it should be Midii and not Noin.

Mike's fair skin turned the approximate color of a boiled lobster.

"Miss Noin is my best friend.  She let me stay here, you know that," the boy protested hotly. He couldn't find the precise words to explain how much Noin meant to him, her acceptance and the way she gave him a place to call home at last.

"Down boy, I was just joshing with you," Diarmid said, lightly punching his young friend's soldier.  "Guess we're both nervous about seeing Midii again.  Be sure to thank Miss Noin again for letting us have at the com room first.  Lots of folks have been waiting weeks to contact the L3 cluster, damned place doesn't get in the right orbit near fast enough for news like ours."

As Milliardo Peacecraft's assistant on the terraforming project it hadn't taken Diarmid long to become acquainted with Noin's young friend.  The resemblance between Midii and Michel was too complete for him to miss.  Since then the two had become friends and waited for this day when Mike could be reunited with his sister at last.

"Visual communication with the L3 colony cluster now possible," the computer alerted the two young men.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

For the second time that evening the video communicator in Cathrine Bloom's trailer gave off its insistent chime.  Gay little notes with the air of a circus tone floated through the room, her own small personal touch.  She moved to the com unit slowly, with a pleased smile.  So he had decided to call again, she thought, feeling the satisfaction of a woman desired and sure that her caller must be Wufei.

The easy smile faded when she saw a familiar but unexpected face on the screen. She stared at him silently for some moments before finding the means to express herself.

"It's you! Where are you? You're not here," she said, her words coming quickly once she found her voice, like water from behind a broken dam.

"I need Midii please," Diarmid floundered, he hadn't thought somehow that Cathrine or even Trowa would answer.  He'd felt Midii would sense somehow who was on the other end of the call and be the one to pick up.

"Don't do this.  Don't ruin everything, not now," Cathrine said, her eyes gleaming fiercely while her fingers caressed one of her knives which lay on the table.

"Miss Bloom, please, I'm calling from Mars, it's very important.  She'll want to speak to me, I know it," Diarmid said frantically.  "Look I've got her br-

"Go away! Leave Midii alone, she's not here and she won't want to speak to you again ever! Good night," Cathrine said, flipping off the unit and setting it to ignore.

"Oh the nerve of that man," she thought, clenching her fists tightly before picking up the knife, whirling and hitting her practice target on the kitchen wall dead center.  "I'm so glad Midii wasn't here.  He's nothing but trouble.  I knew it from the start."

For an instant Cathy felt guilty, perhaps Midii would be more forgiving.  But didn't that mean it was for the best she wasn't home?  Cathy decided she wouldn't tell her about the upsetting call.  The whole Diarmid Walker episode was best forgotten.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A girl in a plain gray coverall sat in the small waiting room, shoulder-to-shoulder with other homesick Mars colonists anxious for their chance to spend a rare few moments talking with someone at home.

Safira was luckier than most, she reminded herself of that as her slim fingers absently twirled a tawny corkscrew curl.  She had sisters to call at each LaGrange point so she would be able to make contact with someone at least once a month to report on the progress of Winner Enterprises' Mars Division.  It was hard, frustrating work and her turquoise eyes were drawn and tired.  Everything here was new and uncharted, progress was slow and horribly haphazard.  Construction that seemed to be moving along at a steady pace would suddenly stall, bogged down with unforeseen problems that she had to find the answers to. She studied borrowed space engineering texts at night in her small room until her eyes were red and bleary.  But she _was_ finding answers and a certain pride and new sense of belonging here on Mars. The university courses Yasmina had insisted on suddenly made sense and the information fell into place.

She glanced down at the report she would give to Badriyah, a sister who controlled a group of resource satellites in L3.  Badriyah would pass them on to Yasmina and they would finally reach Quatre's desk at the L4 headquarters.  Her stomach clenched miserably at the thought of her only brother and the secret she had revealed so cruelly.

Suddenly the door of the com room slammed open with a force that shook the small waiting room.  A boy raced past her so fast the papers of her report flew from her hands and scattered on the floor.  She caught a glimpse of aching heartbreak in a pair of blue eyes that reminded her even more of the wrong she had done Quatre.  

"Mike, wait up! Don't be this way, it's not because of you," a voice called.  A red-haired man followed the boy, struggling through the crowd who had gathered to get a turn in the com room.  He turned slightly trying to work his way out when he bumped against someone soft and small.

Diarmid looked down into Safira's eyes, wide with surprise.

"It's you," he whispered, leaning closer, lifting a hand as if to touch her face and be sure she was real.  He had heard rumors that a member of the Winner family was running things here on Mars but had never dreamed it could be this girl.  Milliardo Peacecraft had always handled the dealings between Martian government and Winner Enterprises peacefully so the two of them had never had opportunity to meet

As it was the first time she'd seen him she felt as if she were in a dream, her mouth opened a bit but no words came out.  There was a struggle evident on his face.

"Sorry," he said, drawing his hand back before it made contact.  "I've gotta find my friend. I blew it for him, like I mess up everything."

The bright blue eyes were so sad as they looked at her that Safira found her voice.  She grabbed at his hand and squeezed it briefly.

"Good luck," she whispered, as he finally made it out the door.

To be continued 


	27. Epilogue Part Two

The Price of Redemption

Epilogue Part 2

By Midii Une

Lucrezia Noin shut the metal door behind her firmly and leaned against it with a tired sigh.  Often she felt a nostalgic pang for her position as instructor at the Lake Victoria Military Academy.  She'd always had an affinity for boys that age and even though she was still quite young herself she'd acted as a motherly authoritarian figure for years past already.

And so of course young Michel Une was very special to her.  With his blond hair and astonishing blue eyes he could be a youthful Zechs as she had seen him first at Lake Victoria, it was a combination predestined to capture her tender heart irrevocably.  She loved that mysterious quality and the untapped potential; it was what had made her such an excellent and caring teacher.  Mike filled the role of student for her and she hoped to help him become a strong, caring young man who would make a difference here on Mars.

Her husband entered the outer office with a handful of reports.  Even though it was late on Mars there was so much administrative business that he worked all hours of the day.  He preferred it that way, less time to think, less time to dwell on his past.  Milliardo's eyes rested on Noin's tired figure as she leaned against the door to their living quarters.  Dropping the papers on the desk he went to her and pulled her against him in a tender embrace.  He damned himself as he did it, she had given up too much to be with him but he dared not question her decision again. A brief smile of admiration touched his lips; if he asked that question just once more she was likely to challenge him to a duel.

"What's the trouble Noin," he asked tenderly instead, massaging her shoulders.

"It's Mike," she sighed.  "He couldn't make contact with his sister on L3 after all and it's broken his heart.  I feel responsible Zechs, for everything that's happened to him.  I should have investigated his background more thoroughly and we might have been able to reunite him with Midii at the wedding.  And then there's what happened at Mogadishu.  I'll never forgive myself for that."

A muscle in the tall man's jaw twitched.  The massacre at the Alliance's Mogadishu Fortress was something both of them would like to forget and again he cursed himself for pinning the blame for that fiasco on Noin for a brief time.  The two self-styled executioners of the Alliance holdouts had been none other than her own prize students, Alex and Mueller. He'd killed the pair of them himself, disgusted by their dishonorable actions.  Actions that tarnished the noble office of soldier.

He knew that part of Noin's personal interest in the homeless boy they found was that he'd told them he was one of the few Alliance survivors to escape Mogadishu in AC 195.  He and his older brother had been military cadets there during the war, a long way from their home which he'd heard was a small village in the south of France. Michel Une had seen his brother Marc die in the battle, no it had been a murderous rampage, one couldn't call it a battle.

She blamed herself of course and he should not have added to her burden.  He recalled the statement she had once made so innocently and confidently that none of her soldiers would ever perish in battle. Even as he'd argued with her he couldn't help but love the inherent sweetness in her soul. The former prince knew that this sweetness gave her the unique ability to love a man such as himself unconditionally, deservedly so or not.  Milliardo Peacecraft sighed.  If only Noin had a child of her own she wouldn't get so caught up in the trials of this boy and pour so much energy into his ups and downs.  But that comfort too was denied them here in this barren and undeveloped outpost.  He would not risk her health, not even for her dearest wish.  
  


A soft knock on the door dragged him from his thoughts.

"Come in," he said, putting Noin gently away from him and straightening his jacket.  He was a man who would follow protocol to his last breath, a man who was royal to the tips of his polished black boots.

"Miss Winner," he nodded, bowing his head slightly.  Winner Enterprises was a most important entity at the terraforming project.  He had to show due respect and appreciation in every nuance of his attention to the girl, but he was a born diplomat and the gestures were genuine and natural.

"I just wanted to offer to help that boy," Safira said, turquoise eyes on the floor, her voice a whisper.  "I can contact my brother and he'll get the message to Mike's sister, he'll see it done I can assure you."

Mike's dilemma had helped her see her own situation.  She wanted Quatre's forgiveness now as much as she wanted to help the distraught teenager be reunited with his long-lost sister.

Noin's eyes lit with relief but there was sadness too.  When Mike found his real sister he'd be leaving Mars and going home at last.  Partings, always partings, she thought, but she had vowed to leave everything behind for Zechs and it was a vow she would never fail in.  She loved him beyond everything and she always would.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Trowa shifted the sleeping girl in his arms.

"Midii," he whispered tentatively.  She moved a little, rubbing her face against his neck sleepily and lifting an arm to rest on top of his shoulder.  She mumbled something unintelligible then immediately fell back into deep sleep.

The sun was starting to lighten the sky and he realized he had become so engrossed in the monitors displaying the alluring heavens that they'd never eaten dinner and he'd hardly said two words to her all night.  He rubbed a tired hand over his bleary eyes and tilted his head back and forth to relieve the strain on his neck.  There was the sound of tires on gravel and he smiled enigmatically.  Whatever Midii'd done to get the proper authorities to give them this place to themselves had obviously worn off.  He got up from the chair and shifted her in his arms.

"Midii," he said again, more urgently, blowing gently in her face and grinning as she slapped at him.  "We've been discovered."

"Too tired," she groaned sleepily, burying her face in his shirt.

"Okay," he said, "but you'll have to wake up to ride the bike home."

"Nooo," she whimpered pitifully.

He hid a smile and tried to look authoritative as he heard the observatory staff enter the building.  Squaring his shoulders he decided just to brazen it out, it was what Midii would have done, if she'd been awake.  He walked out the door with his sleeping partner cuddled in his arms and out into the front lobby.

"Preventer thanks you for your cooperation in this matter," he said stiffly, his voice hiding laughter at the sight of the men's astonished faces.  "Proceed as usual."

With that he exited the building unaccosted by the gaping men and set Midii carefully down on the motorcycle seat.  She squinted at the morning light frowning.

"Are you awake enough to hold on," he asked, cupping her face in his two hands.

"I guess," she pouted.  

"Thanks for last night," he said softly.  "I love you, you know."

She nodded sleepily as he kissed her good morning.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yasmina Winner peered at herself in the large gilt-framed mirror over her dresser, her mouth full of hairpins and most of her hair pinned neatly into a conservative French twist.  With a half-smile she suddenly took the pins from her mouth and decisively pulled the other pins from her butterscotch tresses.  Her hair fell in waves around her shoulders and she hummed a little as she put on a touch of soft mauve lipstick.  She blushed a little at the sparkle the mirror reflected in her large navy blue eyes.  She cleared her throat and squared her shoulders but the hint of smile remained.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs she could hear Dorothy's tart voice regaling Quatre with the latest political news as they ate breakfast.  Did her sister-in-law never rest from judging the state of current affairs?  Yasmina had to admit that Dorothy's astuteness was always amusing and definitely right on target while the acerbic little political cartoons she drew on the napkins at restaurants had once set her nearly rolling on the floor with laughter.

She realized now that Dorothy was both a friend and an ally.  She should never have doubted her little brother's instincts.

"Good morning lovebirds," she said softly, tucking her chair up to the table in the sun-drenched breakfast room.

"You've done something with your hair," Quatre said tentatively, not quite able to put his finger on the difference.

"Quatre, she hasn't done anything to her hair! That's the difference," Dorothy retorted with an annoyed sigh.  "You look much less like a mean old schoolmarm Yasmina, do keep your hair down more often.  I'm sure the poor strands need a vacation from being pinned so tightly each day."

Yasmina nearly choked on her coffee, but managed to roll her eyes at Dorothy over the gold-toned china rim.

"You look so much like Iria that way," Quatre said softly.  "I miss her so sometimes."

"And I," Yasmina said, thinking longingly of her deceased twin sister.  "Thank you for saying that.  She was always the better one of us."

"That's not true," Quatre protested, reaching for her hand across the table.  "It means so much to me that the two of us have gotten to know each other lately as a family and not just as business partners."

Yasmina felt her throat clog with sudden tears.  He was right, they were a family and this was how it should be between them not the strangers that father's legacy had forced them to become.  She dearly hoped Safira was content on Mars and finding a purpose in life and that someday they would all be reconciled.

"Oh enough cooing and billing about sibling love," Dorothy said finally, breaking the awkward silence.  "Not that I'm not glad you two are getting along.  But still, doesn't anyone else just wish Miss Relena would have that baby of hers already and get back on the universal stage where she belongs?  Those old coots are simply helpless without her and nothing's been accomplished since she was forced into early maternity leave by the dreadful husband of hers.  I wouldn't let Heero Yuy push me around if I were her!  She dotes on that man too much."

She tempered her tirade with a fond smile at Quatre and a quick peck on his cheek to show that she doted on her own man as much as Relena doted on Heero.

But Yasmina noticed a shadow of fear cross her brother's face that seemed to go unnoticed by Dorothy.  

"He's thinking of mother still," she thought sadly, her thoughts accompanied by a faded vision of a sweet-faced woman with flowing blonde ringlets.

The doorbell rang, startling her from her reverie and chasing the melancholy look from Quatre's face as they all looked toward the front door.

"It's dreadfully early for company," Dorothy groused, frowning into the front hallway.

"I'll get it," Yasmina offered, her heart felt heavy in her chest and she swallowed, her throat dry.  Such an odd feeling, the tiniest bit of precognition as she reached for the door handle.

Rasid stood out on the front stoop, smiling down at her, his dark eyes gentle.

"Miss Winner," he said, eyes following the curve of her wavy golden hair and he was gratified by the hint of blush in her cheeks and shyness in her big blue eyes.  "I hope I haven't arrived too early but we've received a packet from Miss Safira on Mars and she asked expressly that it be delivered personally to you and Master Quatre. Due to the transportation issues it was easiest for her to send it to the Winner Base in Arabia."

"She's all right isn't she," Yasmina asked anxiously, hoping she hadn't sent her sister into danger by advocating the mission to Mars.

"I think she's grown up a bit, judging from what she's written," Rasid said, reaching out a hand to steady her.  "She seems just fine."

"Thank you for bringing it yourself," Yasmina said, daring to lift her eyes flirtatiously up to the big man who towered over her.

"I-I was pleased to.  It's been too long since I saw Master Quatre…and you," he confided, lowering his head toward hers.

"Come," she said, turning away suddenly, her face hot with embarrassment at her own thoughts.  "Quatre will be overjoyed to see you!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sally yawned and peered under her long golden lashes to judge the time.  She had slept late but this was certainly acceptable, even for a high-ranking Preventer commander, especially when said commander was off on an impromptu honeymoon.

The sound of a low masculine chuckle sent tingles through her body and she felt a warm sense of content and satisfaction.  There was indeed nothing like a night well spent with the man you loved and then waking up to the rich smell of coffee and the sound of his laugh.

"You sound quite pleased with yourself," Sally purred, sliding from beneath the smooth cotton sheets and padding softly across the lushly carpeted floor to lean over her new husband's shoulder.

"How could I help it," he said, reaching back to tug gently on a golden curl.  "Everything is just perfect.  I still can't believe you agreed to elope without even a second thought!"

"Jack, I gave it more than one thought even before you asked," Sally said, smiling broadly.  "I knew you were the one when you told me you'd decided to move here to the colonies to practice medicine. I was just waiting for you to pop the question."

"An old-fashioned girl, eh? Just the way I like them," he said.

Sally felt her eyes get misty so she decided to change the subject, besides being 'old-fashioned' she just wasn't the sentimental type.  Funny though how death and war had never made her cry while just the most vaguely romantic statement from Dr. Jack Anderson had her eyes filling dangerously.

"So what were you laughing about just now," she asked.  "Was I snoring?"

He laughed again, a deep chuckle that rumbled in his chest and made her feel she had come home.

"Not this time," he teased, oofing as she playfully punched his shoulder.  "I was just reading the colonial news briefs.  You find the oddest things in these little pieces they use as filler.  You'll be interested to know Mrs. Anderson that we are not the only two romantics now in residence on this colony."

"Do tell," Sally said dryly.

"Well seems about a week ago a pair of sweethearts masqueraded as Preventers and performed a hostile takeover at the Steinhauer Observatory simply in order to get a little cozy under the stars," he announced, awaiting her reaction. 

"What!! Preventers! They caught them didn't they," Sally asked, beginning to pace the room as agitation set in.  "There's nothing funny about impersonating a Preventer agent I'll have you know."

"Oh but it is," Jack said, pointing to the pop-up ad he'd minimized before she got out of bed.  "Looks like they weren't impersonators after all.  We've got friends on this particular hunk of metal Sally.  May I have the pleasure of escorting you to the circus?"

"Midii Une," Sally said, the familiar circus logo reflected in her amused blue eyes.  "I might have known. Well at least it's a comfort that they weren't real impersonators.  And the way she's corrupted Trowa Barton is something though, I'll give her that."

"Seems that young man could do with a bit of corrupting," Jack said, unable to resist diagnosing the case.  "I'd say our little miracle girl is just the one to fix what's ailing that boy, I thought when I saw him in that hospital waiting room that I'd never seen such empty, haunted eyes."

"Oh I approve. After all they've done for us those Gundam pilots deserve more than a little happiness," Sally said, smiling.  "All right, the circus is on, but I insist on front row seats and all the popcorn and caramel apples I can eat.  I've always heard Cathrine Bloom's knife act is something not to be missed."

"Your wish is my command, m'lady," he said nobly, he raised her fingers to his lips for a dainty kiss before the two broke out laughing again, their happiness contagious.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Trowa twisted restlessly in the sheets, he'd been up late trying to find a way to jerry-rig something mechanically so he could do without the part Duo said it was impossible to replace.  Maybe the whole thing was hopeless, yet it seemed he was compelled to keep trying, that this was the way it was meant to be, the way it had happened in a dream he'd once had.

After Midii had finally fallen asleep he concentrated on dreaming it again, to see if he could just find the answers he had always sought, the answers about his past that seemed just out of reach.

But the dreams were fractured and left him feeling uneasy and he woke with a sense of foreboding.  He sat up with his fists clenched and looked down at where Midii lay beside him.  But she was gone, sunlight filled the room and he could hear the sounds outside of people, talking and working and laughing.

He lay back down heavily, pulling her pillow close, burying his face in it and breathing in the soft scent of her perfume.

"I'm not empty like you," she screamed, her child's voice choked with angry tears.  "I'm filled with things…my family…my job…my guilt!"

Why, why was he remembering that all now?  They were together, they loved each other.  He rolled over into the space she slept in, the sheets were already cool.  He bounded out of bed and moved out quickly into the main room, immediately feeling stupid, the dark thoughts fleeing at the sight of the two of them.

Cathy and Midii sat close together side by side on the sagging old couch.  The morning sunlight coming in through the cheery sheer yellow curtains made Cathrine's hair shine like bright copper while individual strands of Midii's hair shone like gold.  They each held on to one end of a pale blue knitted afghan and Cathrine's voice was soft and patient as she explained the process.

"Keep the yarn tight when you cast on then it's just over and under and repeat like that," she said, watching her student expectantly.

He leaned back against the wall to watch the knitting lesson for a moment, almost laughing as the yarn quickly slipped off the needles Midii held.  She lifted her head at the slight sound and let the ball of blue yarn bounce off her lap onto the floor as she took the handy excuse of his appearance to escape from the lesson. .

"She'll never learn," Cathrine groaned, leaning back against the soft, worn pillows.

"I'm hopeless aren't I," Midii said, gazing into Trowa's eyes.  "But you love me anyway don't you?"

He held her tightly in response so that she looked at him wonderingly.

"Is something wrong," she whispered softly so Catherine wouldn't hear.

He shook his head, there was nothing wrong.  But he felt anxious and uneasy just the same.  Something threatened her, he could sense it as surely as Jupiter sensed her presence whenever she entered the animal enclosure.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"What's wrong with Trowa," Cathrine asked Midii as the other girl applied sparkling black eyeliner carefully and expertly around her lashes.  "He's been so restless today I hardly expect him to stand still during the act.  He should be getting ready or the manager will start thinking he's a punk kid again."

Her remark broke the tension the two of them were experiencing over Trowa's odd behavior.  Midii held the brush away from Cathrine's face as she giggled.  She could just hear the gruff old manager growling "punk kid" and imagine Trowa staring at him in that impassive way he had, she paused to wipe tears of laughter from her eyes.

"Cathy," she said suddenly, her voice serious.  "You have to tell me what Trowa is up to out here all night.  I can't ever get past that lion to find out.  Are you sure it's something he's promised the manager?  With the way he's been acting today I'm starting to worry a little."

"I—well—I ," Cathrine stuttered, not willing to lie but sworn to secrecy as well.  "Oh look isn't that Sally Po Trowa's talking with out there.  He looks upset."

She momentarily congratulated herself that she hadn't revealed anything and had managed to distract Midii without lying. However, it was true that Trowa looked rather upset.  Her violet eyes met Midii's blue ones and they nodded to each other quickly before racing outside to see what was going on now.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sally studied the ground littered with straw, sawdust and various food wrappers.  Trowa had been cool to her at Quatre's wedding but she had put it down to the general chaos that surrounded most marriage ceremonies, not to mention the emotional crisis that had topped it all off.  That had been part of the reason she'd agreed so wholeheartedly with Jack that the two of them should go ahead and simply elope.  She had forgotten that Trowa might be more than a little unhappy with her about the circumstances of Midii's last big Preventer mission, now she realized he'd been avoiding her rather pointedly since then.

"If you have anything to say to Midii you can tell it to me first," he told her, lighting into his old friend with uncharacteristic ferocity.  "If something needs to be done I'll take care of it but just leave her out of it."

Sally forgot she was here only to visit the circus and to see old friends.  "Trowa I'm sorry about the way things turned out last time.  But it's the choice all of us, including Midii, have made to protect the peace.  The wars are something that can never be repeated, too much was lost, including freedom.  Certainly you understand that Midii may be needed for another mission at some point as easily as you might be called back yourself.  We haven't seen a whole lot of time go by since the end of the war where some faction or other hasn't tried something.  The destruction of the Gundams was a good thing but our very lack of defense is what will always encourage some power or other to make a bid for take over.  We must use other means and unfortunately Midii can add to the strengths we have in her own unique way.  You should be proud of her."

"I am now, even if I couldn't see it then," Trowa admitted.  "I just don't trust _you _when it comes to assignments right now Sally.  You encouraged her to go behind my back, she's free to do as she wishes but I want to know about it and you can't stop me from being her back up."

"I wouldn't dream of it Trowa," Sally sighed.  "I was wrong in that, I tend to get a little gung-ho when it comes to this job.  But I won't make that mistake again.  Besides I'm not here on any type of Preventer business."

Trowa looked skeptical but Sally was saved from further interrogation by the breathless arrival of Cathrine and Midii.  Sally felt herself involuntarily take a step back; there was an intensely protective gleam in the auburn-haired girl's eyes.  What a pair she and Wufei must make, for all the girl's femininity her inner strength was quite obvious.

Before she had to defend herself once again, her new husband came to her rescue, arms laden with a delectable assortment of the best refreshments the circus had to offer.

"Hello everyone!  Why all the long faces," he queried.

"I don't think Trowa or Midii should have to go off to fight again!  It's too soon, she's still not well," Cathrine said, eyeing Sally suspiciously.

Sally sighed, she was feeling very unpopular at the moment.  

"We're just a pair of harmless newlyweds here to see the show," Jack announced, grinning as he saw the delight appear on Cathrine and Midii's face as they rushed to hug Sally.

"Sally's not here to threaten your cozy little arrangement," he said to Trowa confidentially as the girls demanded the details of the wedding from his bride.  "Things are quiet, I'm sure you've been kept updated.  I don't know all the ins and outs, I'm just a civilian, but I know Sally would never have agreed to take a month off if there were any hint of trouble."

Trowa nodded but he still focused watchful green eyes on Sally and Midii.

"I understand how you feel," Sally's new husband told him.  "No one knows better than I do how close that girl came to losing her life back there in Brussels.  But Sally's the one who brought her back, she rushed headlong into a dangerous situation herself in order to get to her.  That's the woman I fell in love with."

The star circus clown nodded his understanding and turned away wordlessly, headed toward the main tent.  Cathrine darted after him, chattering to her silent audience about what a surprise Sally's visit had turned out to be.  Trowa only half-listened.  Probably his worries had been nothing more than his own frustration about his inability to finish the project.  It struck him that Sally was married now and yet he'd made no progress in finalizing his and Midii's relationship.  But still Midii was perfectly fine, she hadn't had the hint of a headache and their fragile mutual trust was getting stronger every day.  Sally was only here on a friendly visit, and it was probably good that the doctor who'd treated Midii after the explosion was here on the colony and could take a look at her.  He'd ask him later.   It seemed that there was nothing wrong at all, it was only love making him paranoid.

"Ah, there's that smile," Cathrine said, grinning before catching his hand in hers and squeezing it warmly.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Quatre sat in the back of his long, white, rented limousine tapping the package of vid-disks thoughtfully against his knee and glancing from time to time at the colorful tops of the circus tents silhouetted against the dusky sky.  He looked wistfully at the space beside him wishing Dorothy was there.  But she was not.  What a time to experience the first separation of their married life.  They had just been preparing to head to Trowa and Midii's location when the news had finally come that Miss Relena was having her baby.  Dorothy had promised to come for the happy event and they had regretfully parted ways.

Quickly he put it out of his mind.  So many thoughts of dread swirled and crowded in his brain that his consciousness kept replacing one with the other.  He didn't want to think about Heero and Relena or the complications of childbirth, the dangers.  And he didn't want to see Trowa and give him the news that was going to hurt Midii so terribly.

The news that her brother was dead.  Safira had sent a message asking them to preview Michel Une's message to his sister before giving it to Midii.  But he couldn't see how any of them would be able to find a way to break it gently that the oldest of her three brothers had been killed in the attack on the Mogadishu Fortress during the war.  Of course the casualties of the war had been so great that almost no family anywhere had gone untouched by death.  But for Midii the loss of her brother Marc would be doubly hard. Quatre knew that she had justified all of her actions during the war as necessary to protect her family.  Intuitively he knew it would seem to her once again that she had caused suffering for others, and especially Trowa, all to no purpose. 

Quatre sighed heavily, his aquamarine eyes troubled.  The war kept coming back and destroying any short-lived happiness with sudden, unexpected explosions like the minefields that were still occasionally discovered out in space.

To be continued…


	28. Epilogue Part Three

November 25, 2000-September 2, 2003

The conclusion of POR is made possible by and is dedicated to:

 The Spy and The Silencer Mailing List.  Happy Third Anniversary!!

The Price of Redemption

Epilogue Part Three

By Midii Une

Duo slunk down in his chair and pulled his black-billed hat low over his deep purple eyes.  Hilde and Dorothy stared at the closed door, owl-eyed with a combination of curiosity, apprehension and impatience.

The two very different girls found themselves unconsciously clutching each other's fingers tightly as a wild feminine scream filtered from beneath the heavy door.  Moments later an efficient nurse breezed through said door.  She smiled condescendingly at the group of innocents sitting in the private waiting room.

"Your little friend is doing just fine," she assured them, her words practiced and rehearsed and dulled from much usage.  "I'm just off to fetch her more ice chips."

"Yummy," Duo said quietly unable to contain an attempt at humor.  The former pilot cringed as Dorothy and Hilde glared at him for his lack of sensitivity.  They spoke in whispers.

"She should have gone for the drugs," Hilde said, a frightened look in her bright blue eyes.

"You don't know Miss Relena," Dorothy answered with a tired, exasperated sigh.  "She's intent on staying strong for Heero.  She'd suffer _anything_ to maintain his image of her."

Duo dared to chuckle and was summarily sent off to buy the girls a pair of mocha lattes.  "That should keep him out of our hair for awhile at least," Hilde said, knowing full well that an errand to the bakery would keep Duo occupied for an inordinate amount of time.

Dorothy's cell rang, making the pair of them jump, their nerves were as taught as finely-tuned violin strings.

"Could it be Quatre already," Hilde asked, holding her breath as Dorothy answered. She felt torn between her friends, but she and Duo had finally decided to come be with Heero and Relena.  Midii and Trowa would have Quatre and Cathy to help pull them through this latest crisis.  Good news and bad news always seemed to come hand in hand, Hilde thought as she half-listened to Dorothy's conversation with Relena's adopted mother.

"No Mrs. Darlian, nothing yet," Dorothy said patiently. "The nurse just reported she's doing fine.  When your shuttle lands come straight to the hospital, there's a limo waiting.  Yes, I'll tell the nurse to tell Relena you're coming.  Good-bye."

Beyond the doors Relena tried to focus on Heero's eyes as the contraction gripped all the muscles in her body and squeezed.  It became harder and harder to stay in control, to lose herself in the pools of steel blue she loved so much.  So this was how torture worked, she thought, her senses starting to scatter. Then she felt his fingers on the back of her hand, moving in a soothing rhythm.

"This one's ending.  You made it Relena," he told her, coolly eyeing the fetal monitor that measured the strength of each contraction.  For Heero Yuy, this was the most helpless moment of his life.  He had no control he could only sit and watch as the hated machine measured his wife's agony in large sloping hills that illustrated the peaks and valleys.  His palm itched to shoot it but common sense told him that the machine was only the messenger and the instigator of all this pain was none other than himself.  As her face screwed up in a tortured grimace yet again and the line on the graph began to curve he vowed a future life of celibacy.  Anything but going through this again.

"Focus on my eyes," he said, a hint of pleading in his usually calm voice.  The line sloped higher and Relena's eyes shut, tears pouring down her cheeks.

"Mother," she screamed, clenching her hands on Heero's and digging her nails in.  "I want my mother!"

The nurse patted Heero on the shoulder.  "Don't you worry this is all perfectly normal," she said.  She pushed the father-to-be aside as no one else would have dared and leaned over Relena.

"There now honey," she said softly.  "You're doing fine, just fine.  Your mother is on her way. Your friends asked me to let you know."

Relena gasped as the pain ebbed.  "I can't!  I can't do this anymore," she cried, her voice small and childish.

The nurse shook her head.  "The baby's on his way now dear and there's no stopping him.  You'll be holding him very soon and just think how beautiful he'll be, just like you and your good-looking husband here."

Relena sat straight up in the bed, her eyes wide.

"It's coming, another one's coming," she said, eyeing the graph with wildly as her voice cracked in desperation.

"Can't you give her something for the pain," Heero said tersely, trying to keep the deadly assassin tone from creeping into his voice.  He and Relena had promised themselves no drugs for their baby but to hell with that, he felt himself losing his sanity watching her suffer as surely as she was losing her struggle to control the pain with breathing and focus techniques.

"Too late," said the cheerful nurse. "The baby really is coming now.  I think she's ready to push.  I'll just step out and call the doctor."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! Don't leave me," Relena begged, grabbing for the disappearing nurse.

"Heero, Heero, he's coming," she gasped.  "I feel it."  
  
"The doctor will be right here. Just hold on," he said, climbing onto the bed beside her.

"Now, right now," Relena said, tossing back her head and screaming louder than she had the entire evening.  Heero squeezed her shoulders and held her tight, he sensed her breathing ease a bit and they heard a small muffled cry and their eyes met.  Heero slid from the bed and lifted the sheets.

"He's here," he said wonderingly, remembering a term from all the birthing books they had read.  "The baby's crowned, his head's out.  You didn't wait for the doctor."

The information had of course planted itself indelibly on his mind and he was nearly as qualified as the doctor to deliver the baby. Carefully he took the aspirator from the bedside table and suctioned the baby's nose before easing him out with Relena's next contraction.  With gentle hands he held the baby up for her to see.

"He's a boy," Relena cried.  "Oh he's beautiful Heero, beautiful!"  She lay back against the pillows tiredly as Heero carefully cut the cord which had bound the child to her for nine months.

The nurse and doctor raced through the door and halted as they saw the new father hand the baby to his mother.  Relena took her son in her arms and kissed his small head, holding him to her gently as if he were made of glass.

"Oh my baby, how I love you," she whispered, tears streaming down her face unheeded.

"Guess you two didn't need us," the doctor said, examining Relena.  "It happens quickly sometimes doesn't it?"

Heero watched carefully as the nurse took his son from Relena and examined him too, cleaning him off with a soft towel.

"He's just perfect," the nurse exclaimed as she weighed the baby.  "And just over nine pounds too, my he's a big one."

"No wonder it hurt so much," Relena said laughing, her eyes bright with smiles and tears.

The nurse handed the baby back to Relena.

"Would you like a shot of Demerol now," she asked the young woman, patting her comfortingly on the arm. "There will still be some after pains."

"Oh no, I'm perfectly fine," Relena beamed, smiling down at her baby.  "I'm in heaven with my little angel and I don't feel a thing."

The nurse smiled.  "New mothers," she thought.  "They forget all that pain just like that."

"I'll leave you two alone a bit before I let your visitors in," she said aloud.

"Tell the girls how beautiful he is," Relena said, her voice cracking with love and pride.

Alone at last the two new parents looked down on their baby.

"We'll always keep him safe won't we Heero," Relena said, softly stroking the baby's fine hair.

"I'll always protect the two of you," Heero promised, leaning over to kiss his wife.  He took the baby's small hand in his and his heart ached when the tiny fingers closed with a tight grip over one of his.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Midii felt uneasy, as if the doors of a trap were swinging in on her and she didn't know which way to run.  All of them were anxiously waiting for Dorothy to contact them about the long-awaited birth of Heero and Relena's baby, reason enough for tension.  But a host of seemingly inconsequential things were making her suspicious that there was something lurking beneath the surface.  She wondered especially why Quatre was here and not on L1 with Dorothy. Earlier this evening when she'd gone to see Trowa in his dressing room after the performance Quatre had been there and the two of them had looked almost guilty when she came in.

Now she felt everyone sneaking peeks at her as if she had spots on her face.  It was as if there were some secret about her that everyone knew and she didn't.  She searched her thoughts wondering what it could be, through old habit she felt guilty and threatened but she had truly told Trowa everything.  He knew everything about her.  He sat beside her now with his arm around her shoulders, holding her tight, almost too tightly, but neither he nor Quatre would meet her gaze.

Even Sally's cheerful new husband was watching her carefully with such an odd expression on his face.  She'd been a spy for God's sake didn't they think she knew they were watching her?  

Midii shook off Trowa's arm and started to pace around the room.  Cathy got up and gave her a silent hug, which only increased her certainty that something was wrong. She was just about to demand from them what it was when Quatre's cell finally rang.

They all looked at him expectantly and Midii forgot her personal worries for a moment as time seemed to stand still and they all held their breath.  It had to be Dorothy.

But Quatre kept hesitating, seeming afraid to answer the phone.

_"She's dead,"_ he thought.  _"Miss Relena's dead just like my mother…and the world will be thrust into chaos once again…"_

"Quatre," Sally said finally, gently shaking his shoulder.  "Your phone's ringing.  Didn't you hear it?"

"Yeah, sorry," he said, closing his eyes momentarily and taking a deep breath before flipping open the tiny phone.

They all let their breaths out as Quatre's worried gaze transformed to a beaming smile.

"You're sure Dorothy?…Everything's fine…All right….Give them everyone's love, we've been sitting here for hours on tenterhooks…Okay, I'll tell Sally, Midii and Cathy the baby was more than nine pounds….I love you too…No, not yet, we decided to wait until after…I know…I'll call you then….I love you…Good-bye.  
  


"I take it that's good news then," Sally surmised from the one-side conversation and smiling with her relief.  "Well I knew those two would be blessed after everything they've been through.  And with Heero as the father the baby is bound to be healthy, I've never seen such a wonderfully put-together genetic package as that boy."

Jack raised a brow as his wife sang the praises of the perfect Heero Yuy.  "Should I be jealous," he asked teasingly, but he watched Midii with the eyes of a diagnostic specialist as she and Trowa hugged.  He wondered how his little patient would take the shock, he thought she could handle it but she'd been through an awful lot in this past year.

"I'll pop some champagne," she said, pulling from Trowa's embrace.  "I know there's some in the fridge."

But the others stood and prepared to leave as if by mutual consent.

"No thanks Midii. It's late," Sally said.  "We'll leave you to yourselves now we've been reassured Relena and the baby are all right.  You know we'll be close by for a few more days at least, if you need...if you'd like to call."

She hugged Midii goodbye.

"Take care," she said, kissing her cheek.  Jack pinched her other cheek.

"You're coming along just fine," he said.  "Call if you need anything."

"We'll see you out," Cathrine said, bounding to her feet and grabbing Quatre by the hand.  Quatre said good night with all his usual friendly politeness, clapping Trowa on the shoulder and kissing Midii's forehead, again avoiding her eyes.

As the door clicked shut Midii frowned, and whirled on Trowa.

"What is it Trowa," she demanded, grasping his arms.  "I know something is wrong.  Why are Sally and Quatre really here?"

Trowa took her hands and drew her down to sit on the couch beside him. He looked into her eyes for a timeless moment, not wanting to ever see them change, to see them fill with sorrow and pain yet again.  Something bad was coming at her and he felt as if he sat in his Gundam helpless and out of ammunition just when it counted most.  Then he pulled her close so her head was tucked beneath his chin.

He couldn't look at her when he knew his words would kill a part of her heart.

'Just tell me please," she whispered finally.  "I'm starting to imagine worse than it could possibly be."

Her voice was shaky and he knew she was being hopeful that what he had to tell her wouldn't be all that bad.

"Sally's just here on her honeymoon.  It's Quatre, he's heard from his sister on Mars," Trowa said.  "She has information she wanted him to bring you in person."

"Safira?  What could she possibly have that has anything to do with me," Midii asked quizzically, remembering the childish innocence of Quatre's sister.

"It seems your brother Michel is working on the terraforming project, he's a kind of assistant or student of Lucrezia Noin.  Diarmid Walker made the connection Midii.  I have a vid disk from your brother that Safira sent to Quatre," Trowa explained.

Midii bounced up on her knees to hug Trowa jubilantly. 

"But that's wonderful!  Oh if I'd only known I'd have jumped at Milliardo Peacecraft's offer!  But I can't look back.  We've found Michel, found him at last." she said, her words tumbling out in happy confusion.  "Oh Trowa if Michel is there he must be with Marc too.  Didn't Quatre say?  The pair of them were always inseparable.  Only 11 months apart, the people in town would call them twins sometimes. They're together I know it!  We'll get them home as soon as possible, I'll ask Sally, Lady Une, Heero, anyone to help me.  Oh Trowa I'm so happy, I think this means God has forgiven me for all I've done at last."

His head began to ache and his heart pounded miserably in his chest, her happiness making him feel desolate. She squeezed her arms around him tighter and rained kisses on his face.

"Where's the disk?  I want to see my brother, he must have grown so.  Why he was younger than Thierry when I saw him last,' she said, sitting back and holding her hand out for the disk.

"Trowa?"

His face was a blank and his eyes seemed closed off and mysterious, the green depths full of concealing shadows.  His expression made her feel cold and the feeling of anxiety returned.

"What's wrong," she asked cautiously, venturing a guess.  "Has something happened?  Is my brother all right?"

"Michel is fine.  Safira told Quatre that he's Miss Noin's pride and joy, a real prodigy.  It's not that Midii.  Marc isn't with him," Trowa said.  "I'm sorry-

"No," Midii said interrupting quickly, sensing his next words as she kept on talking desperately to ward off the inevitable.  "We'll still find him.  I found Thierry and Michel has found me and together we'll find our brother.  I would have thought Papa would have kept them together, they were so close.  But I'll find him, I'll renew my efforts.  I have to find him."

"Midii, please listen," Trowa said, pulling her back so she was hugged close against him.  "You can't find him.  It's on the disk.  Marc was killed during the war in the attack on the Alliance's Mogadishu Fortress.  Both your brothers were military cadets there."

He steeled himself for an outburst, but none came.  He held her quietly stroking her hair, and cuddling her limp fingers in his hand.  She didn't make a sound.

After awhile she spoke, startling him, she had been so still.

"Well then, no wonder I couldn't find them," she said, her voice small and emotionless.  "All the records from the Operation Daybreak attacks were destroyed.  OZ was rewriting history even as it happened.  Why to them it was as if that fortress never existed, as if those men and boys had never lived.  Just as the Alliance made it seem Heero Yuy was never assassinated.  But we all knew it had happened. Can we watch the disk now? I want to see my brother."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"She's sleeping now.  Trowa said she watched the disk but turned it off and went to bed without saying anything," Sally reported.  "Is that normal Jack? Do you think she's in shock?"

"We do things to protect ourselves from grief as best we can.  But eventually it gets in.  Don't worry too much Sal, she's no stranger to this.  None of us are in this world of ours," he said.  "Things will be rough for them for awhile but they have each other, just like we do and that's the most important thing now."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Trowa stared at the blank screen where Sally's face had been.  Neither she nor Jack Anderson had had any advice.  He hadn't expected this, this cold, dead-eyed acceptance of fate.  A quiver had gone through her when her brother's voice had broken on the video and he'd told her a little of what happened at Mogadishu.  But she hadn't said anything except she was tired and going to bed.

The air in the bedroom seemed turbulent with her unshed tears.  She wasn't sleeping he knew, her body was rigid and taught as she lay curled up and turned away from him in the bed.  Midii held herself completely still as his hand touched her arm gently and she squeezed her eyes shut tighter.

"Please say something," she heard him whisper.  "Are you going to be all right?"

"I'm fine," she muttered tightly.  "Michel looked very well didn't he?  And it all happened so long ago, so very long ago.  Of course I'm fine, just tired.  Good night."

Trowa woke with a start, he must have dozed off because when he reached his hand toward her side of the bed the covers were thrown back and the sheets were cool. He dragged a tired hand across his eyes to rub away the sleep and wandered out into the small living area.  Midii was hunched over her laptop at the kitchen table, her face pale in the artificial glow.  He peered over her shoulder, it seemed there was unofficial information to be found about Mogadishu after all. She was staring at contraband OZ photographs taken at the site and archived by a survivor.

Piles of corpses, men and boys with faces blackened from explosions, their eyes shining white and glazed staring out from their still, dead faces.

"I can't find him here," she said when he pulled up a chair beside her.  "I won't ever be able to bury him beside mother.  We were in the garden when she died and I lied to my brother.  I pushed him on the swing and told him she would be home soon and we would have a new baby brother.  I told Marc everything would be the same. But it wasn't.  She never came back to us.  Only Papa and little Thierry. And then, and then Papa changed…"

She stood up suddenly, swiping her arm across the table and shoving the laptop to the floor where it crashed in a shower of sparks, leaving the room in darkness.  "And now there's nothing to be done.  The men responsible for this are already dead.  My brother's been dead all this time and I never knew, I never felt him go!"

Midii sat back in the chair and buried her face in her hands on the table.  "Where was I?  Where was I when my brother was dying?  I was hiding like a coward with Stefan on Corsica.  He was dying and so scared and I was hiding," she said, self-hatred evident in her voice.  "Oh the war is so unjust, it leaves people like me behind and takes away the ones who don't deserve it.  He was only a schoolboy learning to be a soldier. Did you see their faces, their eyes…Oh God.  They surrendered—they surrendered, why didn't they stop?"

She made a sound that was the combination of a laugh and a sob, and when he went to hold her he felt her delicate hands pushing him away with a desperate force that surprised him.

"Can't you see the irony of God's justice," she asked him, backing away and putting the sofa between them.  "This is what I did to you.  Those pictures could be pictures of your Captain and the others.  I killed them in just the same way, what made me think I had the right to want you to love me?  I'm just like those men that did this to my brother!"

Trowa felt the echoes of pain that tore at her heart, the same type of pain that had destroyed his own heart and soul each day during the war.  But Catherine and then Midii had brought it back, making him more than a soldier at last. He approached the wounded girl slowly, afraid she was going to run but she was so distraught that he soon had her backed into one of the small room's dim corners.

Midii drew back a little as she saw the movement of his hand at the edge of her peripheral vision, she jerked her face away, projecting the hate she felt for the Mogadishu perpetrators onto herself.  But the hand caught up with her and she felt the gentle caress of fingers against her skin and she felt her eyes smart with unshed tears.

His fingers continued moving over her face softly and she finally leaned into the warm hand that touched her.  Trowa slid his hand into her hair and pulled her close against him and his voice whispered in her ear.

"Your brother didn't die because of you, Midii.  He was killed in a battle during the war, it had nothing to do with you or what you did.  Hundreds of thousands of people were killed and all of us became killers in our turn.  You, me and probably even your younger brother.  I don't judge you for what you did, I love you for everything you are.  I hate that you were forced to do the things you did and I hate that when we met I couldn't help you.  Go ahead and cry for your brother but it has nothing to do with us or how I feel about you," he murmured, holding her close, making her listen and understand.

"My brother.  My brother is dead," she whispered, feeling all the strength go out of her body and her heart explode with agony.  The hot tears fell finally and Midii felt strong arms lift her up when her legs could no longer hold her.  Through a foggy haze of tears her burning eyes could make out his face near hers as he laid her gently back in bed.  With a hoarse, agonized cry she reached out for him and he was there and they held onto each other tightly as she grieved for her lost brother.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A slim figure slipped unobtrusively into the communications building.  Diarmid Walker jumped a little in startled surprise as a small hand landed on his shoulder.

"Is he talking to Midii at last," Safira asked, taking a seat on the sofa beside him.

"Yeah, I figured out not to mess it up this time," Diarmid said disparagingly.  "I let Mike make the call.  I couldn't help hoping she'd be interested in me again if I called her with the news last time.  I was only thinking about myself. I owe you one for giving him a hand with getting in touch with her so quickly.  You're a better friend to the kid than I am."

"Oh no! I'm sure you'd have done the same if you had the resources, I'm just lucky to have so many sisters," she said, pushing a tawny curl back behind her ear.  "Besides my reasons weren't all unselfish either.  I wanted my brother to see that I could do something worthwhile for a change."

"I wonder how Midii took the news about her brother," Diarmid said, seeing Safira's embarrassment about her motivations for helping Mike.  "Poor girl had a tough time during the war.  Her own father practically blackmailed her into performing Alliance espionage when she was just a schoolgirl."

Safira sighed heavily, a puff of air lifting the stray curls that framed her forehead. She hated feeling jealous over Diarmid's protectiveness of Midii, but she felt the emotion rising unwillingly in her heart anyway.  She briefly wished that she had some glamorous and tragic past that would make him interested in her.

"Well, I'm sure talking to Mike will help," she said softly.  "He's a great kid.  He's been helping me with some of my work lately.  I sure will miss him when he goes home."

"Sounds like someone's homesick," Diarmid said gently, blue eyes studying the pretty girl beside him speculatively.  "How about we get together some time.  Mike's not the only 'great kid' around here.  I've been hearing some very nice things about you as well Miss Winner.  Would you like to join me for dinner some night."

"Where would you like to go," she asked, looking at her fingers and blushing hotly.

"Why the finest establishment in the colony," he laughed, taking her hand and grinning when she returned his friendly squeeze.  "Le Café of course."

Le Café was of course the code name the colonists had given the one and only place to get food on Mars, the barracks' cafeteria.

"I'd be delighted.  It's my favorite," she said.

"Then it's a date," Diarmid said.

"Yes, a date," she echoed, turquoise eyes shining in anticipation.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Michel Une looked anxiously at his sister's face as it wavered on the grainy video feed.  He hadn't expected Midii to feel responsible for him any longer, he had been on his own for so long that it was strange to have someone telling him what to do and when to do it.

It hadn't been long after the last failed attempt to contact his sister that he had realized that everything he really cared about was right here on Mars.  He loved his sister and his little brother Thierry but in reality it had been years since he'd seen either of them, years since he'd even known if they survived the war.

And in that time Michel Une had become his own person.  He wished he didn't know the things Diarmid had told him about Midii's life.  How Papa had used him and Marc and Thierry to coerce their older sister to lead the life of betrayal she had.  He was sorry for her and now sitting face to face with her it was hard to stick to his plan.

He could tell she was holding back tears for Marc.  It must be hard on her, and it hurt him still, but it had been years ago now and the pain that was fresh for her had started to fade for him long since.

And then she asked him the question he dreaded.

"When are you coming home," she said.  "I have connections and you can be here as soon as a transport is ready to leave."

Mike took a deep breath.

"Sorry Midii," he said.  "I don't think I can.  I have a lot I can do up here and my friends are here. I've decided to stay on Mars."

Marc winced.  He felt as if he'd slapped her, even with the poor video he could see the stricken look in her eyes.  And her words made him feel even worse than her initial shocked silence.

"I understand," she said softly, her voice was wounded, and he could see that there were times she despised herself.  As for himself, he felt again the sickening dread he'd felt when learning to drive at the base and he'd accidentally run over a rabbit that had scurried innocently across the road.

Sadness and misplaced guilt colored his sister's words as she continued speaking.  "I failed you and Marc, I couldn't help you when you needed me.  I'm so sorry."

Another crime of Papa's he thought bitterly.  He'd sent Marc to his death and there was certainly a part of Midii herself that had died in the war, he could see that.  At least she said Thierry was happy and leading a normal life.  Hard to believe the baby brother he'd left behind could be a teenager now, growing up in a peaceful world the rest of them could only have dreamed about.  
  


"Listen Midii," he said.  "Please believe what I'm saying! It's not you.  I do want to see you and Thierry very much and at first I wanted nothing but to come home and find you.  But I've realized up here I'm important. I owe Miss Noin for the chance she's given me.  I really want to stay.  This is where I belong.  It's home.  And you're free now, won't you please be happy?  Live for yourself now, its time. We'll see each other someday, you'll come to Mars and bring Thierry and you'll be proud of what we've done here."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Trowa scowled and kicked at the dirt.  The storage warehouse seemed to beckon him as he walked past on the way to freshen the water in the animal cages. But he realized it was useless to go in there and stare hopelessly at an impossible dream.  Over the past month it had been imperative that he spend as much time with Midii as possible anyway.  And at last he was beginning to catch her with the ghost of a smile on her face at the sight of a child dripping ice cream on the circus grounds or when he surprised her with the brush of a daisy petal against her pale cheek.

Yes, now was the perfect time to finalize their relationship.  She needed to know he would be with her forever, that he was her family now.  With Thierry living on Earth and Michel having decided to stay on Mars with his beloved Miss Noin, Midii needed him more than ever. There was more than one way to accomplish this mission and since Plan A had gone down in flames he had to admit that Duo's long-time assertion that he do it the "normal" way was finally looking like the best way to go.  She would be happy again and that was all that mattered.  Still he looked back at the storage building and shook his head in disappointment, if only…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Cathrine clasped her hands together and an irrepressible grin lit her face. Tonight was the night at last.  She laughed to herself and wondered if Midii suspected.

"Coming," she called cheerfully as a knock sounded on the door.  Duo and Hilde stood outside, twin smiles on their faces.

"Well, well, the lovely Miss Bloom," Duo chortled, treating himself to a hug and bestowing a smacking kiss on the attractive circus performer.

"Behave Duo," Hilde said, she swatted her husband but she only teased him and her smile never faded.  "Thanks for inviting us Cathy, we wouldn't want to miss being here to congratulate Trowa and Midii.  This has certainly been a long time coming!"

"He shoulda listened to me sooner," Duo said, waving his arms and rolling his eyes.  "But better late than never.  And I brought along some of L2's finest champagne to celebrate, although Trouble will probably turn up her la-de-da little French nose at the stuff.  Bet she's so happy she drinks it anyway."

He popped a cork from one of several bottles he'd brought and took a deep swig of the cold, sparkling liquid.

"Duo," Hilde protested again, shaking her head.

"What? They're not going to be back for a couple hours at least, I gotta do something in the meantime," he explained, putting a hand to the back of his head.  "Oh yeah, do you ladies want some?"

He offered the bottle to the girls, his violet eyes wide and ingenuous as they refused with giggles and vehement shakes of their heads.

"Suit yourselves," he said.  "Say when are Quatre and the Eyebrow Lady gonna get here?"

"Duo!! Don't call Dorothy that or I'll cut you off right now," Hilde warned, but she couldn't help smiling as she teasingly grabbed for his bottle.

"You're no fun," Duo complained, holding the bottle aloft.  "All I can say is that Quatre's lucky those things haven't poked his eyes out yet!"

"They'll be here soon," Cathrine said, looking at the gold watch that encircled her slender wrist.  "Heero and Relena sent those roses but they couldn't bring themselves to travel with the baby yet.  It's so sweet how protective they are about him. And I couldn't track down Wufei.  His office said he'd gone off to Earth more than a week ago and I haven't even heard from him in all that time."

"I wouldn't worry," Duo said, noticing her downcast look.  "If anybody can take care of themselves its Wufei."

As if the sound of his name had conjured him up, the young man in question appeared suddenly, bursting through the door of the small trailer as if demons from ancient legend were following him.

He looked around the room quickly and after assuring himself that Midii was not present he spoke tersely and urgently.

"Where's Trowa?"

"Ah! I'm so glad you're here," Cathrine said, clasping her hands together happily.  "You'll never guess!! Trowa's finally asking Midii to marry him."

"What?  He can't!  Where is he?  I have to stop him," Wufei said, his eyes glinting darkly.

"But-but why," Cathrine said, her jaw dropping and her eyes puzzled.

Her fiancé drew her aside to a private corner of the room and showed her the contents of a small box he kept in his pocket.  Cathrine took a quick look at the coveted object and shrieked joyfully, pouncing on Wufei and proceeding to squeeze the life out of him.

"Just give me the address of the restaurant woman, before it's too late," he choked. But he smiled unwillingly at her exuberance, his face dark red from lack of air and a bit of embarrassment at her display of affection.

Then, having garnered the necessary information, Chang Wufei disappeared into the darkness as quickly and as mysteriously as he had appeared moments before.

"Oh, this is going to be just perfect," Cathrine said, wiping away a happy tear.

"You're not saying that guy found the part!  Not THE part," Duo guessed, irritated that his fellow Preventer had accomplished what he could not.

Cathrine nodded blissfully.

"Oh! Oh wow! Who'd have thought Wufei could be so romantic?  I could fall for that—" Hilde started to say, stars in her shining blue eyes.

"Don't even say it Hilde," Duo groused.  "Don't even think it."

"Well I _could_ fall for that guy! What a wonderful thing to do," Hilde whispered to Cathrine.  "I just hope he isn't too late!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Midii rested her head on Trowa's shoulder as they danced, realizing suddenly that she could count on one hand the times they had ever engaged in "normal" dating activity.  

In a way it felt rather strange. Besides, it seemed to require too much effort to relax and enjoy the moment when for weeks now she had felt as if she was barely keeping her head above water.  Surely without Trowa's support she would gladly let herself go under and fade away from everything.  Nothing she had ever done had ever really had any meaning.  She closed her eyes and let her fingers tighten on the lapels of his dark charcoal jacket as the ghost of her brother looked at her sadly from beyond a hazy mist and her throat clogged with grief.

And to make matters worse Michel was not going to come home.  He had no desire to pick up their family life and how could she blame him.  As hard as she had tried her efforts had always been misdirected. 

All her life now seemed focused at last on the man who held her in his arms.  She glanced up at him through her lashes and caught him looking at her worriedly.  She forced a small smile, letting her fingers brush his red bowtie.

"This is lovely, thank you," she whispered, gasping when he tightened his arms around her waist and lifted her off the floor twirling her in the air.

The sparkle returned to her eyes as he pulled her back to him, he knew her attention had been wandering as it had so often lately.  Her smile grew genuine and a bit mischievous as her fingers tugged gently on his tie.  She stifled a giggle, she hadn't had the heart to tell him that black would have looked much more elegant.  There was more clown in her sweetheart than she sometimes liked to admit.  She shut her eyes and held him tighter as they danced close together on the shining wood floor and she let her universe distill into this one happy moment.

She strengthened her resolve to let all the recent sadness go and simply enjoy the evening.  She knew Trowa was catering to her desires tonight, fancy restaurants and formal dress were not his idea of a good time but he had planned this night out just for her.

"I love you," she whispered, looking up to see him smiling down at her, his expression almost shy.  And she knew she wasn't really alone, he was beside her at last.  Always.

"I love you too," he said, bending to kiss her.  The touch of his lips took her breath away and she felt like she was gasping for air when he finally pulled back.

"Let's step out and get some air," he suggested as if he read her mind, leading her off to the balcony.  She could only nod, truly left breathless by the new intensity in his kiss and her heart beat faster.

He held her hand and helped her sit on a delicate wrought-iron bench.  Candlelight illuminated the private area romantically and she felt suddenly timid as he sat down beside her and held her left hand tightly in his.  His hands were a little damp with nervous perspiration and she looked up at him wonderingly.

Trowa squeezed her hand and bent to kiss her again.  He felt unaccountably nervous, the time had come at long last but the words wouldn't leave his mouth.

Midii sighed as her lips parted beneath the urgent pressure of his.  His tongue slipped softly into her mouth and she pressed closer to him, feeling his hands grip her waist and hold her tightly against him.  Again she felt that strange breathlessness and anticipation when he pulled away and looked into her eyes.

Her heart seemed to stop as he slid off the bench and knelt beside her skirt, his hand reached into his jacket pocket and her mouth fell open slightly as he looked up at her.

"Midii," he whispered, so soft she could barely hear.  "Will you m-

Wufei chose that moment to burst through the delicate French doors, slamming them open with a loud crash that threatened to shatter the fragile glass panes.

"Trowa wait! You don't want to do this," he shouted.

Midii groaned and slumped back against the cold iron of the bench.  He had been about to ask her to marry him, she knew it!  But now the magic had gone out of the air, everything felt cold and dull and she glared at Wufei with an icy blue gaze.  Trowa dropped her hands.

"Wait right here, I'll take care of this," he promised her before rising up and turning on Wufei, pushing the other Preventer back into the restaurant and shutting the doors firmly behind him leaving Midii alone outside.

"What are you doing here," Trowa demanded, fisting his hands in the other man's shirt and glaring down at him with deadly green eyes.  "I was just about to ask her to marry me and there's nothing you can say to change my feelings--

"I know that and I have no intention of doing so," Wufei said cutting him off impatiently.  He was starting to tire of this role very quickly, but it was for his and Cathrine's future after all and he hadn't gone to all this trouble for nothing.  "But I thought you'd like to see this first."

He popped open the small brown cardboard box and showed Trowa the contents, his face was smug.

"Well, do you see now why I stopped you?  You shouldn't settle for second best," Wufei chided.  "Stick to your original path, that's my advice."

Trowa took the box reverently as if it held treasure.

"Two hours.  Two hours is all I need," he muttered, his thoughts whirling.  "Stay with Midii, keep her here that long, okay?"

He grabbed Wufei's arm, opened the French doors and thrust him out on to the balcony with the astonished Midii.

"Dinner's on me," he called back as the unlikely duo stared after him disbelievingly as he disappeared into the crowd of diners and dancers.

Wufei gulped nervously as he met Midii's angry gaze.  He hadn't figured on this happening.  Two hours alone with the woman who was the bane of his existence!  The one who had shot him and whose tumultuous escapades had stood between him and Cathrine for far too long.

"Well, you heard Trowa," he said finally, grabbing her hand clumsily and pulling her after him back into the restaurant.  "We might as well eat."

Midii gasped out loud as Wufei pushed her chair in a bit too briskly, pinning her to the white-clothed table.  She muttered curses under her breath as she pushed the chair out a bit so she could breathe.  Suddenly she felt very much like her old self again with a challenge before her and an enemy to avoid, this might be just the distraction she needed.

"What the hell is going on," she demanded, her voice sweet and sugary so nearby diners would not hear the anger in her tone.  "What are you doing here, of all people?"

"You will thank me later Onna.  For now just eat your dinner and be quiet," Wufei answered, glaring at her over the top of his gilt-edged menu.

"Oh that will be the day!  I can assure you that whatever you've told Trowa about me won't stand up to investigation. I've already told him everything," Midii said confidently.

"I highly doubt that," Wufei said, leaning his head against his hand tiredly.  "A woman like you will always have secrets.  You've probably done things even you've forgotten about.  You'll be nothing but trouble to him for the rest of his life.  But that's his decision and who am I to question it!"

"Who are you indeed?  You are the rudest, most self-righteous man," Midii ranted, quieting and smiling primly when the waiter appeared with a bottle of Maison Petitvert Chardonnay.  Their own special wine and she was now to be expected to share it with Wufei!  She simply could not understand why he would abandon her now after he'd obviously gone to so much trouble.  But she vowed to find out and Chang Wufei was certainly not going to detain her for long.

She grabbed her glass and saluted her grim partner with the delicate crystal goblet before gulping the wine down in one go.

"Listen, I didn't tell Trowa a thing about you.  You'll know what's happening soon enough so try to exhibit a little patience.  I believe your heart is in the right place but you don't make the proper choices and that's why I'm counting the moments until I can make sure Cathrine no longer has to live in the same vicinity as you.  That's Trowa's risk to take and not hers," Wufei said in a failed attempt to be nice to the woman who sat across from him at the intimate table for two, but he was honest to a fault and felt compelled to speak his mind.

Midii looked at her shining white china plate dismally.  His words hurt because there was truth in them.  The peace they shared at this moment could not always last although she believed now that they could survive whatever life threw at them as long as they were together.  Still, she wanted desperately to escape those haughty, mocking black eyes and her thoughts focused on her goal as she demurely picked at the expensive Salade Nicoise the server set before her.

Then the most obvious of feminine ruses came to mind and a wicked smile lit her face.

"Excuse me while I go to the ladies' room," she said, pushing back her chair and bolting for the female sanctuary in a very unladylike manner before her "date" could react.

Midii powdered her nose, barely seeing herself in the mirror as she tried to compose herself.  Damn Wufei, he was too fast and despite her head start he'd almost caught her arm before she'd made it safely into the friendly confines.  Seemed the insufferable man didn't trust her an inch!  Slowly her breathing returned to normal before her heart raced again as the door swung open.

"Ah," she thought to herself.  "Just the cleaning lady."

"You didn't notice a dark-haired man with mean eyes out there did you," Midii asked cautiously.

"Oh yeah," the woman said, nodding sagely.  "He's out there all right, scaring all the fine ladies away from the door.  Say, he's really good looking though. You sure you're not running in the wrong direction honey?  Bet you could tame that tiger if you gave it a try."

"Hmm," Midii said thoughtfully, luckily for the cleaning lady she had been too caught up in planning an escape route to take note of the "tame that tiger" remark.  "Could you please tell me how many feet of material is in that roll-a-towel machine?"

"Err, no one's ever asked before, but I know the answer.  I change it every night after all.  Comes with 40-feet of clean toweling.  Don't worry ma'am, everything's quite hygienic in here, we're quite the fancy establishment."

The other occupants of the room took their time powdering their own noses, listening curiously to the odd conversation between the petite blonde and the chatty employee.

"Of course you are! This is a very elegant restaurant and you do your job so well," Midii said, patting the woman companionably on the shoulder.  "And I suppose the dispenser is anchored to the wall so no one could break it off?"

"Ma'am!! Our customers would never…but of course we meet all safety standards as well," the puzzled woman retorted, eyeing Midii worriedly. "Say, are you the health inspector or something?"

Midii was now looking down at her elegantly-clad feet with regret, she couldn't make the leap she planned in her new heels, her ankle just wasn't up it after her recent injury the past winter.  Her gaze fell on the cleaning lady's feet, just as small as her own.  Perfect and what an unexpected piece of serendipity, the gods were on her side for once.  She turned her attention back to the curious woman.

"Oh no, I'm just a regular girl trying to evade an annoying man!! You've been so wonderfully helpful! Now, if you'd just sell me your shoes," Midii said with a grin, tossing all the credits in her purse (minus cab fare) at the shocked restroom attendant.  As she bent to lace her new set of sneakers Midii moved hastily, she sensed that decorum wouldn't keep Wufei out of the ladies' room much longer.  With the heel of her shoe she cracked open the towel dispenser with a well-aimed swat and gave the cloth a hard yank, smiling when the fabric gave a satisfying tearing sound.

With a quick, graceful movement she astonished the other women by jumping out the third story window with the white towel billowing behind her as she clung to the heavy cloth with one hand and clutched her expensive shoes carefully in the other.  They watched with astonished eyes as the material rolled rapidly off the spool and the dispenser strained at its bolts.

Midii dangled about 15-feet over the sidewalk for a second, feeling a moment of hesitation before letting go, the ground did seem so very far away.  The hesitation cost her as she felt her secure line break away from the wall with a jerk and she landed hard on her feet with a groan. She breathed a sigh of relief and tested her ankle a bit, nearly as good as ever, though it gave a slight twinge of protest that she chose to ignore.

Just as she stepped into the nearest cab she heard a chorus of outraged feminine shrieks from above.  She smiled victoriously.  Seems Wufei had stormed her castle a moment too late.

"You are far too slow to catch me, ma chére," she called, laughingly blowing a mocking kiss to the furious man who stared at her out the window as the cab took off toward the circus, a cloud of vituperous Chinese curses following in her wake.

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Heh, heh, heh! Guess all Wufei could manage was 75 minutes, actually I'm impressed his date with Trouble lasted that long," Duo laughed as he spotted a determined Midii step out of a taxicab alone at the circus entrance.  "Good thing Trowa finished everything up quicker than he thought, course it's because I was there to lend technical advice!"  
  


Hilde ruffled his unruly chestnut bangs affectionately and kissed his cheek.  "You were sweet to help out," she whispered in his ear.  "You do have such a wonderful sense of romance." 

Duo smirked, her words promised a lucky night ahead for the God of Death.

"I don't know about the rest of you," Cathrine said at last.  "But I have to see this!  Who's for peeking?"

Dorothy and Hilde stood as one and Duo merely opened his dark coat to reveal the video recorder he'd brought for just that purpose.  
  


"Every special occasion needs pictures," he said, grinning cheerfully.

"Are you guys sure Trowa won't mind," Quatre said uneasily.

"Shhhh Darling.  We're going to sneak up on them, they'll never know they're being watched until it's too late," Dorothy said, pulling her reluctant spouse along with her.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Trowa held his breath as he carefully placed the delicate gold circle in the device.  How small it was, he thought, as a wave of protectiveness washed over him as he felt the remembered sensation of her hand engulfed in his larger one.

He pushed his bangs out of his face and looked down at his grease-stained white T-shirt and the red bowtie that dangled down on either side of his loosened collar of his open dress shirt.  He looked at his watch, just enough time to shower and change before she came back.  Everything was coming together perfectly.

But a low, grumbling growl coming from the vicinity of the animal pens alerted him that he'd congratulated himself too soon. He smiled in spite of himself, when would he ever stop underestimating Midii's potential to throw a wrench in the most carefully laid plans? Hastily he wiped his grimy hands on his pants and took a deep breath, pulling the control switch and listening carefully as the old machine creaked back to life at long last.

Midii flipped her hair back over her shoulder and refused to give the beast the satisfaction of a fearful look as she walked past Jupiter's cage with a haughty click of her heels.  Absolutely nothing, and especially not that lion, was going to stop her from finding out what Trowa was up to in here at last. She had seen the lights on in the old warehouse when she'd stepped from the cab and known exactly where he must have gone.

She rounded the last corner, the words of a question poised on her lips, before she stopped and let her hands drop limply to her sides and she blinked at the vision before her.

It was dark but the gloom was lit by thousands of small white lights reflected in a confection of shining painted horses, sparkling mirrors and gleaming gilt.  And there was music, a haunting refrain that she had heard once before in her past.  The tune filled her head and she was back in a rickety truck, she could see her child's legs dangling over the end of the seat, her feet unable to touch the floor and a boy beside her looking out the window.  This music had filtered in through a crack in the dirty windows.

She had hated him then, so cold, so free of feeling and the guilt that overwhelmed her and shadowed her childhood.  But looking at him at that very moment she had discovered his secret.  They were the same and he was as lost as she was.  She loved him, she wanted to be beside him always and fill the empty space in his heart.

_"Do you miss it,"_ she'd asked, looking out at the canvas circus tents so like the ones just outside.  But her words had broken the spell and the soldier replaced the boy again.  And this music had played then.  It had been the sound of a carousel organ.

He was walking toward her out of the darkness and she could see his hand reaching out to find hers.  The green eyes that looked at her were shining and expectant as his fingers gripped hers tightly.

"What-what is it," she heard her own voice whisper.

"A carousel," he said, his eyes watchful as they swept her face.

"Yes, it's beautiful. Do you remember the music," she asked, tilting her face to his.

He shook his head.  "I found it when I had nothing.  It was like I remembered it somehow.  Did we see it together once?"

She shook her head as he slowly led her toward it.

"We heard the music once but you wouldn't tell me why it made you sad," she said.

"I don't remember that now," he said.  "But when I found this I began to remember you.  I started to work on it right after the war."

Shyly she reached forward to gently touch the nose of the nearest painted horse on the platform.

"Want a ride," he asked.

Midii took a step back, she had that breathless feeling again and she couldn't look at him, it felt her heart would burst if she did.  

"Oh Trowa, it's too beautiful," she said, her voice barely a whisper as she shook her head so her hair hid her face a little.

She gasped when his strong hands circled her waist to lift her up with effortless ease. The platform began to move and he swung himself up to stand beside her.

"I did it for you," he said.

He kept his arm around her waist holding her steady as the painted horse went up and down.

"All this, you did all this," she said, her fingers touching the gilded flowers tangled in the horse's mane as her face lit with a smile as she saw the two of them reflected in the polished mirrors as they whirled past.  "Do you know I've never ridden one of these?  Oh Trowa, thank you."

Her face looked like a child's as she tilted her head back to let the rushing air push her hair back and she grinned at him, her blue-gray eyes open and innocent and happy.

The ride slowed and he pulled her off the saddle and into his arms.  He reached and pulled down the handle, setting the carousel in motion once again.  She grabbed the ends of his tie and pulled his head down to hers for a kiss, the world spinning as their lips met.

"Look," he said, raising his head from hers and pointing to a hook at the side of the platform.  He reached out and caught the small gold ring he had placed there and held it out to her.  The tiny diamond in the center sparkled like a star in the twinkling lights of the carousel as he slid it over her finger.

"Oh, Nanashi," she breathed, her voice wondering, the old name slipping out in her surprise.

He looked at her intently and grabbed both her hands.  "That's not me," he said.  But his words faltered, in the dreams he had had everything had always fallen into place, he remembered his name, his past and his family.

"I'm sorry," she said, her fingers touching his face softly, a hint of sadness in her eyes. "I always dreamed of Nanashi, you are Trowa now."

She tiptoed again to kiss his lips and he lost himself in her embrace, disappointment forgotten, erased by the touch of her lips on his and the caress of her hands on his shoulders. He sighed and held her tightly, she hadn't understood.  He didn't understand himself.  But somehow it felt just right, she loved him even if he couldn't remember who he really was, she loved him in spite of it or even because of it.

"Where are you Trowa?  You seem so far away," she asked, her eyes wide and luminous in the glow of the tiny bright lights.  Her voice and the urgent touch of her hand pulled him back to this moment they had waited a lifetime to share. 

"I was trying—I thought I could remember who I really am.  I wanted to tell you," he explained.  "It felt so close just now but it's slipped away again.  I think now I'll never know."

He felt her arms wrap around him in a fierce embrace that made him feel the force of her intense love.  All else seemed superfluous after all.

"You are the one I love," she reminded him, pressing her head against his heart.  "And I won't ever leave your side again."

They were interrupted by the sudden clatter of footsteps and happy voices. Trowa looked up and he saw all of them running towards them: Dorothy and Quatre, Hilde and Duo and of course one other.

There was Cathrine, her pretty face shining with happy tears as she ran towards them.  And as he held his hand out to her to help her up on the carousel platform he knew as his fingers touched hers that even if his past was gone forever he would never let anything happen to destroy his future.  He had people he needed to protect, Cathrine and Midii, his family.

THE END

Author's Note: Finished at last!  Thanks for everyone's patience over the years it's taken to write this fic.  I know there are still a few loose ends but they're meant to be there, I don't expect Midii and Trowa to live happily ever after but I think from the past chapters you all can tell how they'll handle any difficult situation to come their way and their feelings are at last resolved and have come full circle although Wufei's comments are definitely foreshadowing of their future.  I had intended all along to reprise the story _Time to Remember_ as the conclusion of this story and I hope it worked, wonder if anyone saw it coming? (there is a tiny hint in that story's author notes that it's all related to something bigger) You can read the original story, my first 3xMU fic by clicking on my ff.net author's bio and scrolling way, way down ^_^ 

One reviewer did ask if there would be more, although I won't discount the possibility of a side story at some point, I have no plans or ideas for any at the moment.  Right now I'm just happy to call this storyline finis!!


End file.
